Hot Blooded - A Bubba the Monster Hunter Novella

by John G. Hartness

  “Calm down, Robert,” Oberon said, his voice tired. “I’m not going to fight you.”

  “Then this might hurt. Or you could just tell us where Nitalia is.” I cracked my knuckles for emphasis.

  Oberon laughed, which was about a million miles from the response I was looking for, and turned to Mama. “Oh, Ygraine, he is indeed your son! He has your fire and your drive to protect the weak. You should be proud.”

  “I am,” Mama said with a smile. “I am also proud of my daughter, who we have traveled far to find.”

  “I know.” Oberon’s face fell. “Please know that I would have told you everything had I been allowed. But my queen, she is capricious, and when she saw the touch of Mab writ large upon your face, she was…less than inclined to be helpful to you. She demanded that I send you on this quest, and only if you survived would I be able to tell you what little we know of Nitalia.”

  “Well, we’re alive, so start talking,” I growled.

  Oberon turned back to me and nodded. “Let’s go sit down.” He gestured toward a couple of picnic tables sitting in the middle of the smoldering remains of the town square. As we walked, he talked.

  “Nitalia did come to Tisa’ron. She was not with us long, but I have seen her, some months ago. She was perfectly fine when she left our hospitality, although she did make a hasty departure when she learned of Titania’s plans for her.”

  “To make her marry a prince of Summer and use her for leverage against Mab?” Mama asked.

  “Of course,” Oberon said, just like he was talking about selling a used car and not manipulating a person’s life. The more time I spent around royalty, the more I liked rednecks.

  Oberon went on. “I did not know where she had gone at first. I just assumed that she was somewhere within the Summerlands. But after our search parties found no trace of her, I began to be concerned.”

  “You mean after the soldiers you sent to drag her back couldn’t find her,” Mama said. Her voice was flat and her eyes cold, despite her taking on the aspect of Summer.

  At least this time, Oberon had the good grace to look ashamed. “Yes, the first group sent after her was dispatched under orders to return her to Titania’s ‘care.’ But when they returned empty-handed, I sent out a squadron of my personal guardsmen, this time with specific instructions to aid her in any way they could, especially if it meant getting her out of my wife’s territory. They also returned with no trace of her.”

  “Why the change of heart?” I asked. I still wasn’t real happy with Oberon, but it was starting to look like there might be a heart trapped under there after all.

  “Titania is my wife, and my queen. I love her, but I also know exactly how fearsome she can be. When I saw the glint of battle in her eye, I knew that her plans for Nitalia went further than some minor jab at my former wife. Somewhere between Nitalia’s arrival at Court and her disappearance, Titania decided to use her to destroy Mab. I couldn’t let that happen. As little as I know of the girl, she is still of my blood.”

  “That didn’t stop you from sending Bubba chasing after a dragon,” Skeeter said with a scowl. “He’s your blood, too.”

  “He is, but he also has brave companions with him, and I did bestow weapons upon him that allowed him to vanquish the beast.”

  “Still sent us chasing after a damn dragon,” Skeeter grumbled. I knew my little buddy well enough to recognize that he wasn’t going to just let this go, so I waved him quiet. He rolled his eyes at me, but shut up.

  I turned back to Oberon. “So your guys couldn’t find her, either?”

  “They did not. But I uncovered something in the palace that I found particularly worrisome, and it spurred me to begin planning a major rescue expedition. Then you arrived, and my plans went sideways.”

  “Bubba has that effect on plans,” Amy said. “What did you find?”

  “A maid remembered seeing Robin Goodfellow near Nitalia’s rooms the night before she vanished.”

  “I hate that little bastard,” I said.

  “A sentiment shared by many,” Mama said. “But he has his uses, doesn’t he, Father?”

  Oberon looked embarrassed. “Yes, Daughter, he does. The Puck has been useful to the crown of both realms on more than one occasion. Unfortunately, his relationship with our Court has been…strained of late.”

  I leaned forward and lowered my voice. “Gramps, we don’t know each other real well, but let me just lay this shit out for you. You need to say whatever it is that you don’t want to say about Puck, or I’m going to beat it out of you. We need to find my sister so we can get the hell out of Fairyland because I can only assume I have missed almost the entire college football season by now, and I need to know how my Dawgs are doing with their new coach.”

  He looked at me, confusion written all over his face. “I honestly have no idea what you are talking about.”

  “He gets that a lot,” Amy said. “But what’s up with Puck? From what Bubba told us, he was pretty happy the last time you guys saw him. All married and stuff.”

  “That is exactly the source of the problem,” Oberon said. “His wife, the Princess Alethea, was bound to the Summer Court. Puck is an unaffiliated Fae, a prince of the Lands Without Season, with a fine estate in the Shadowlands.” He looked around the table like that was supposed to mean something to us. Mama looked pretty damn upset by this revelation, but the rest of us just looked like your Spanish teacher started trying to teach calculus.

  “What the holy hell are you babbling about?” I asked. “What has that got to do with the price of tea in China?”

  “I know nothing about tea, or China, for that matter. But the Puck’s wife was tied to the Summerlands, and her tie could only be severed by Titania’s blessing, or by Mab laying claim to her.”

  “Which would tie her to Winter,” Mama said. “Then Mother could release her from her bond to Winter and she would be free of any ties to a Season.”

  “Exactly,” Oberon said.

  “So what’s the problem?” Joe asked.

  “Titania wouldn’t release her from Summer, and Mab would not claim her over Titania’s mark,” Mama said, her face grave. Oberon nodded, as if that explained everything.

  “That doesn’t explain anything,” I said. “What’s the big deal? She’s married to Puck, but she still works for Titania. No big deal.”

  “Expect that Summer Fae cannot live in the Seasonless Lands,” Oberon said. “Our magic ties us to a Court, and if we spend too long in another Court’s lands, we suffer the consequences.”

  “Those consequences are permanent, aren’t they?” Amy asked.

  “They are.”

  “So when she was stuck tied to Summer, she either had to stay in Titania’s realm or die,” Amy went on. Oberon just nodded.

  “Okay, so Puck wasn’t big on a long-distance relationship, but it ain’t the worst thing in the world,” I said.

  “She’s dead, Robbie,” Mama said, her voice soft. Oberon nodded again.

  I turned to him. “Wait, what?”

  “I know Robin,” Mama said. “He was a frequent visitor to Winter when I was young. He is a Shadow Fae, a Walker Between Seasons, unaffiliated but useful to both Courts. The Puck is a…problem-solver for Mab and Titania alike, the person they call when something or someone becomes…troublesome.”

  “An assassin,” Joe said.

  “Yes,” Oberon said. “An assassin, a weapon, a tool to be used. Titania saw his love for Alethea as a hold on him, a way to secure his services for her alone. She told him that she would release Alethea from her service, but only if he swore fealty to Summer.”

  “And Mab promised to supplant Titania’s claim on the girl if he would pledge to Winter,” Mama said.

  “Exactly,” Oberon agreed. “The Puck, being a creature of great temper and possessing of a great desire to continue to play both Courts against each other, refused both offers, and took his bride back to the Shadow Keep.”

  “But all she had to do was leave and
go back to Summer to be okay, right?” I asked. I knew what I was going to hear, but I didn’t want to think it.

  “Puck wouldn’t allow it. Giving her up would mean losing to Titania, accepting defeat in a game played for centuries. So he imprisoned her within the Shadow Keep and stayed by her side every moment.”

  “Until she died,” Skeeter whispered.

  “Until she died,” Oberon agreed. “Then he waited. The Puck is clever and patient. He knew eventually an opportunity for revenge would come along. And it did, in the form of your sister.”

  “He took her to get back at Mab for not helping save Alethea, but how would that hurt Titania?” Amy asked.

  “If he hurts Nitalia for Mab’s negligence, Mab will see it as Titania’s fault.”

  “Because Titania did not release Alethea from her fealty,” Mama said. “Then Mab will move Winter against Summer, and there will be war. My mother is many things, mad perhaps foremost among them. She would see Nitalia’s death as a personal affront, and look to any cause that absolves her of guilt. She would blame Titania, and she would tear Faerie apart to avenge the insult. She cares nothing for my daughter, but killing Nitalia would be an insult, and her pride would not allow her to let it stand.”

  “So Puck is going to kill my sister to drive Mab into attacking Titania for letting his wife die? Seems convoluted,” I said.

  “Convoluted is one of the highest compliments in Faerie,” Oberon said. “I do not wish to see my granddaughter harmed, but I cannot move against the Puck myself. Titania has forbidden it, and I am bound within the confines of the Summerlands until she sees fit to loosen my chains.”

  “So we have to go to the Shadow Keep to save Nitalia,” I said. “How do we know she’s still alive?”

  “Her head has not been delivered to Mab’s throne room,” Oberon said.

  “Well, that’s pleasant,” Amy said. “Okay, we can find her using Bubba’s repurposed compass. Do we know when he plans to do the deed? It sounds like Puck has a flair for the dramatic.”

  “We are eight days from the anniversary of Princess Alethea’s death,” Oberon replied. “If I were a betting Fae, I would guess that is when he plans his revenge.”

  “So we’ve got a week to travel through a hostile realm of magic, invade something called the Shadow Keep, and kick a mystical assassin’s ass before he murders my long-lost sister that I’ve never met,” I said. I nodded, then stood up and looked around at my family and best friends. “Okay, gang. We’ve traveled to another dimension and killed a dragon. Now let’s go save the faerie princess so we can go home.” I turned and walked toward the pile of my weapons laying on the ground by one of the wagons.

  Amy walked up next to me and started gearing up herself. “Gonna put our lives on the line against impossible odds.”

  Joe stepped up beside her. “Heading off into unspeakable danger to save someone we’ve never laid eyes on.”

  Skeeter leaned against the wagon and grinned at me. “Gonna kick a lot of ass and look good doing it.”

  I gave Skeeter a fist-bump and said, “Horrible danger? Terrible odds? Shitty rewards? Let’s do this.”

  The End…for now

  Acknowledgments

  Thanks as always to Melissa Gilbert for all her help, and for trying in vain to teach me where the commas go.

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  About the Author

  John G. Hartness is a teller of tales, a righter of wrong, defender of ladies’ virtues, and some people call him Maurice, for he speaks of the pompatus of love. He is also the best-selling author of EPIC-Award-winning series The Black Knight Chronicles from Bell Bridge Books, a comedic urban fantasy series that answers the eternal question “Why aren’t there more fat vampires?” In July of 2016. John was honored with the Manly Wade Wellman Award by the NC Speculative Fiction Foundation for Best Novel by a North Carolina writer in 2015 for the first Quincy Harker novella, Raising Hell.

  In 2016, John teamed up with a pair of other publishing industry ne’er-do-wells and founded Falstaff Books, a publishing company dedicated to pushing the boundaries of literature and entertainment.

  In his copious free time John enjoys long walks on the beach, rescuing kittens from trees and getting caught in the rain. An avid Magic: the Gathering player, John is strong in his nerd-fu and has sometimes been referred to as “the Kevin Smith of Charlotte, NC.” And not just for his girth.

  Find out more about John online

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  Also by John G. Hartness

  The Black Knight Chronicles - Omnibus Edition

  The Black Knight Chronicles Continues - Omnibus #2

  Scattered, Smothered, & Chunked - Bubba the Monster Hunter Season One

  Grits, Guns, & Glory - Bubba Season Two

  Wine, Women, & Song - Bubba Season Three

  Year One: A Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter Collection

  The Cambion Cycle - Quincy Harker, Year Two

  Damnation: Quest for Glory Part 1 - Quincy Harker Year Three

  Fireheart

  Amazing Grace: A Dead Old Ladies Detective Agency Mystery

  From the Stone

  The Chosen

  Falstaff Books

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  Copyright © 2018 by John G. Hartness

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  This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is coincidental. Except that bit about that guy. That’s totally a thing. No, it’s not really a thing. Come on, do you think I’d admit it here if it was really a thing? Give me a little credit. Jeez.

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