Truth Be Told

by Victoria Christopher Murray

  But it was drugs that ravaged this boy. Drugs developed by a national pharmaceutical company and administered by a doctor. V.Q. was a medical breakthrough, designed to reduce the symptoms of asthma. But when Stefan became violently sick after seven treatments, the Jacobys were told the doctors had made a mistake. That was the extent of the explanation.

  Conner suspected that V.Q. had been approved—but for adults. He’d bet his researchers would find similar cases across the country.

  It took a moment for Conner to realize that Stefan was staring at him. This time Conner didn’t look away. He stared into the boy’s eyes.

  A moment later, Conner pushed away from the table, startling everyone. “Are we done?”

  Chandler frowned. “Well …,” he paused. When the Jacobys nodded, Chandler said, “We’re finished.”

  “It was nice meeting you.” Conner couldn’t press any more through his lips. He rushed into the hall. Behind him, he heard Marilyn’s steps, as hurried as his. But he closed his office door before she could catch him.

  With heavy legs, he moved to his desk. There was no way he could stay in that conference room. Not with his secret planted in front of him.

  He had to tell Grace.

  Last night, his nerve had melted with his heart when he saw his wife’s face lined with worry. Even now, he knew Grace’s thoughts were with him, wondering what case had him so riled that he’d missed their afternoon tryst without explanation.

  There was a light knock on his door, and Chandler walked in. He sank into one of the chairs and their eyes held for a minute.

  “What’s going on?”

  Conner knew what the lines in Chandler’s forehead meant. There was no use lying.

  Conner shrugged. “Just a lot on my mind.”

  “Something at home?”

  His heart’s ache sharpened. He had to tell someone. Conner stared into his twin’s eyes, trying to convey without words all that he held inside. After a prolonged moment, he said, “Can’t talk about it right now.”

  More silent moments. Then Chandler nodded. He stood and leaned across the desk. “I’m here when you’re ready.”

  “You always have been.”

  “It’s like that with us.”

  Conner remained still until Chandler left. Then he swung his chair around and faced the window. The sun was making its journey from east to west, dimming the light in his space. “I have to tell Grace,” he whispered.

  “Did you say something?”

  He spun around. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

  Marilyn said, “I’m sorry. You have a call.”

  His heart knocked against his chest. He waited until he was alone before he picked up the phone. “Conner Monroe.”

  “It’s Pilar. I’ve been waiting for you to call me.”

  He’d told her he’d call this morning. “I need more time.”

  There was silence before Pilar said, “You didn’t tell Grace.” He knew her statement was a question, but he didn’t feel compelled to respond. “I need to get home, Conner. To my son. With what’s happening …” She left her sentence unfinished, leaving them with their own thoughts of why this had to come to light now.

  Pilar said, “You’re Solomon’s father.”

  He pursed his lips. “That hasn’t been established.” He heard her hurt through her silence. He apologized by saying, “I will talk to Grace.”

  “When?”

  “When I think the time is right.”

  “We don’t have time. You have to do this, Conner, or I will …”

  His back straightened, stiffened. “Don’t threaten me,” he uttered, the lawyer’s fight in his voice.

  “That’s not what I’m doing,” she said softly. “I’m thinking about our son.”

  He closed his eyes.

  “I will call you tomorrow,” she said. The next second, he heard the dial tone, and he let the phone fall from his hands.

  For minutes he sat, hearing her words in his head: “You’re Solomon’s father.” He wanted her to take those words back and go away, never to return to this side of the country. But he couldn’t dismiss Pilar. Not with everything that she’d told him.

  He had to talk. Tell someone. Picking up the phone, he practiced the words he would say to his pastor. But before he punched the last digit for Pastor Ford’s office, he hung up. Although he could almost hear the comforting words from her mouth, he could definitely see the disappointment in her eyes.

  With a deep sigh, he stood, inhaled, and then walked down the hall to Chandler’s office.

  The door opened before Conner knocked. Chandler stood on the other side, as if he knew the exact moment his brother would come. He stepped aside, allowing Conner to come in.

  “I need to talk to you.”

  “I know.” Chandler moved to one of the chairs in front of his desk, and Conner joined him.

  Quiet sat between them. Words floated in Conner’s head, but he couldn’t grasp any to form a coherent thought. “I love Grace,” he said finally.

  Chandler’s eyes widened a bit at Conner’s statement. “I know that.” He paused. “Grace knows that.”

  Conner pushed a stream of air through his lips. “I hope she remembers.”

  “It would be difficult for her to forget.” Chandler paused. “And Grace loves you too.”

  Conner knew his brother’s words were meant to comfort, but that truth sharpened his pain. How could he tell the woman he loved, the woman who loved him, this news?

  “Grace and I have been through a lot.”

  Chandler leaned forward and rested his hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Your history makes you strong. That and the Lord.”

  Conner closed his eyes. He had to say it. “I have a son. Another child.”

  He felt Chandler’s hand tighten, then slip from his shoulder. This time, there were no words of solace from his brother. Just silence. A quiet that intensified his grief.

  Conner stood and walked to the window. With his back to his brother, his words poured from him. He repeated the conversation he’d had with Pilar. “She said this happened twelve years ago,” he finished. “My son … the boy that Pilar is claiming is mine … his name is Solomon.”

  He waited for Chandler to speak, but when silence filled the room, he took a breath and turned, focusing on the space over Chandler’s shoulders. He couldn’t meet his brother’s glance. He didn’t want to see his eyes.

  “Well …,” Chandler began.

  It was the steadiness in that syllable that gave Conner the courage to look at him. Chandler hadn’t moved, but now his elbows rested on the arms of the chair. He tapped the tips of his fingers together in a slow, steady motion. Conner recognized the pose—his brother was in lawyer mode.

  “So what does this mean? What did you tell her?”

  Conner raised his eyebrows. These weren’t the questions he expected, but they were ones he could handle. It was easier this way. Turn this disaster into business. There would be plenty of time to handle it on a personal level.

  Conner rushed to sit next to his brother. “I haven’t told her anything … not really. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

  “Good. You can take your time.”

  “That’s not exactly true. I don’t have a lot of time.”

  Chandler’s fingers froze in mid-air. The silence didn’t hide his question.

  “Pilar has AIDS. She doesn’t know how much time she has.”

  “Wow.” A few moments of silence passed before Chandler said, “I’m sorry for Pilar, but this doesn’t change how you should proceed. Pilar has relatives. Someone else could take her son.”

  There was no humor in Conner’s chuckle. “That’s what I said, but apparently none of Pilar’s relatives want anything to do with a black boy. She says if I don’t take him, he’ll be alone.”

  Chandler took a deep breath. “Okay, so this is more complicated than I thought, but still we need to do the right thing.”

  “That’s what sca
res me,” Conner said. “Suppose the right thing destroys my family?”

  “I take it you haven’t said anything to Grace.”

  Conner shook his head. “I can’t even imagine saying these words to her. It’s going to break her heart.”

  “She’s strong, though. You can help her to understand.”

  “But how can I help her understand that I hid my relationship with Pilar? While she confessed what went on with her and Drew, I kept quiet.” Conner stood and leaned over the desk. “I feel as if I’ve been lying to my wife for years. It’s like I’m a fake.”

  Conner waited for his brother to tell him that’s exactly who he was. But when Chandler stood and placed his hand on Conner’s shoulder, all he felt was his twin’s strength.

  “I admit this is going to be tough. But we’ll figure it out—through time and prayer.” Chandler paused. “I’ll do whatever you need me to do, but bro’, there is one thing you have to do.”

  Conner closed his eyes and nodded. His brother didn’t need to say anything more. Conner knew what Chandler meant. He had to tell Grace. He would do it tonight.

  Grace gazed out onto the courtyard. Even though she had three months before she officially took office, she planned to use the time to read through the countless city proposals and referendums. But today she’d spent hours rereading papers, unable to keep her mind from drifting.

  “Maybe I should just go home.”

  “What?”

  She swiveled her chair around. “Just talking to myself.”

  Zoë smiled. “A lot of that going around,” she kidded. “I wanted to go over tomorrow’s council meeting. You’ll be certified, along with the other new members at nine. Then the mayor’s reception begins at eleven. By the time we do lunch and the requisite schmoozing, we’ll be out by four.” She paused and looked at her watch. “Need me for anything else?”

  Grace shook her head. “No. Go on home.”

  “Want to walk out together?”

  “No, I want to clear my desk. I won’t be much longer, and Frank is waiting. He’ll drive me home.”

  “Okay. I’ll meet you at city hall in the morning.”

  Grace heard the front door close, but a moment later it opened again.

  “Zoë?”

  “No, Grace.”

  Grace stood. Before she could get to the door, Starlight appeared in front of her.

  “Surprise.” Starlight smiled, but her tone was stiff.

  Grace tried to smile. “How’re you … Starlight?”

  “I’m good.” She paused, looked around the office, then returned her gaze to Grace. “I came to congratulate you.”

  “Thanks.” Grace hesitated. “Do you want to sit down?”

  “Sure.”

  The office was heavy with silence as both shifted to find a comfortable place in their seats.

  “I hope you don’t mind my dropping by.”

  Grace shook her head.

  “Mom said Tuesday night was wonderful.” Starlight paused. “She’s proud of you.”

  Grace took a slight breath and nodded. Silence filled their space again before Grace asked, “How have you been?”

  “Good. I’m doing seminars, writing another book. I spoke at Greater Faith Chapel last night.”

  Grace’s eyes widened. Pastor Carey was one of the city’s most influential and respected clergymen. Although he wasn’t part of her district, she’d received a lot of campaign support from him, especially about returning prayer to school. Why would Pastor Carey allow Starlight to speak at his church?

  “Mom didn’t tell you,” Starlight said through Grace’s thoughts.

  Grace shook her head. “No, but …” Her voice trailed off.

  Starlight tilted her head. “You still have a hard time accepting me, don’t you?”

  Grace looked straight into Starlight’s eyes. “I accept you, Mabel. I just don’t agree with what you do.”

  Starlight’s smile disappeared. “We do the same thing, Grace.”

  No we don’t, Mabel, she thought. You hustle people for money in the name of God. But Grace held that thought inside since she had spoken those words to her sister many times in the past. Instead she said, “Let’s not talk about this.”

  Starlight’s eyes narrowed. “I’m committed to helping people, just like you are,” she said, wanting to convince her sister. “You wouldn’t believe the mail I get about how I’ve changed women’s lives.”

  Grace pressed her lips together, remembering the look in her mother’s eyes when she told her that she and Starlight would never get together. And they wouldn’t if she allowed this conversation to weave its way to its obvious conclusion.

  “So you’re still judging me.”

  “No I’m not, Mabel … Starlight.”

  Starlight looked away and wrapped the strap of her purse tighter around her arm. “I thought I’d come by …”

  “And I’m glad you did,” Grace said quickly.

  Starlight glanced up, her eyes hooded with hope. “We’re both doing well, Grace. That’s our common ground.”

  We have nothing in common, Grace thought, though she kept her smile in place.

  Grace stood. Starlight followed.

  “Maybe one day we can meet for lunch,” Starlight said.

  Grace hesitated. “Maybe you can come by … one Sunday after church.” She waited for her last words to settle. “The girls would love to see you.”

  Starlight grinned. “How’re my nieces?”

  “Fine. Jayde is talking about college, and Amber, well, she just wants Jayde’s room when she goes away.” Grace chuckled.

  Starlight laughed. “I miss them. But I stay away.”

  Grace nodded.

  Though they were just inches apart, it took a minute for Grace to reach through the space and take Starlight’s hand. “Call me. We’ll plan something.”

  Starlight leaned forward. Their hug was more the wooden embrace of strangers. But for the sisters, it was closer than they’d been in years. And in that moment, it felt good to both of them.

  Starlight grinned when she pulled away. “I’ll call.”

  Grace watched her sister walk to the door. Starlight was right. It was time to find common ground, even if just for twenty minutes once a month.

  Conner took another sip of his chardonnay. He peeked through the curtains. This is what the waiting was like for Grace last night, he thought.

  He looked at the clock. Almost seven.

  When he had walked into his home two hours ago, his faith was strong. Chandler’s encouragement had sustained him. But the passing minutes chipped at his confidence.

  Conner stiffened when approaching car lights illuminated the darkened living room. He lifted his glass to his lips, relishing the last of the wine. He rested the glass on the table, then clasped his hands together.

  It had been planned, but now he wasn’t sure. Should he have on music? Should he sit on the couch? Should he be standing, waiting? Should he turn on more lights?

  The opening door didn’t give Conner a chance to answer any of his questions.

  “Hi, sweetheart.” He stood under the living room arch. Her smile made his heart pound harder.

  “Hey.” She kissed him. “When I saw only the foyer light, I thought you’d taken the girls out.”

  “I’m here,” he said, because he couldn’t think of any other words. The smile that he forced to his lips didn’t stop the pressure building inside his head.

  Her smile widened. “Where’re the girls?”

  “They’re staying with Lily tonight.”

  “Really?” She wrapped her arms around Conner’s neck. “So you must have plans for us.” She paused. “I’m glad, because I was worried about you.”

  He swallowed.

  “But it seems you’re just fine.” Grace chuckled.

  Conner did not share her laugh. He turned away and walked to the table, filling his glass with more wine. “How was your day?” The question came from his lips, but it was the
question in his mind that had his attention. How was he supposed to do this?

  “Okay.” She sat on the couch, but kept her eyes on her husband. “Starlight stopped by.”

  It took both of his hands to steady the shaking glass. He sat next to Grace. “Really?”

  Grace said, “We had a decent chat, but …” She paused. “I still know who she is. Starlight’s a liar. She’s a fake.”

  He nodded because he couldn’t speak.

  “She uses half truths to get women to follow her. If I felt that her message really helped,” Grace continued, “or even if she believed what she was saying, I could be more accepting. But it’s all about money for her.” She sighed. “She’s spiritually poisoning people. She doesn’t care about anyone but herself.”

  With one swallow, Conner finished the rest of his wine.

  “I can’t even imagine what she does behind closed doors,” Grace continued, shaking her head. “The worse part for me is that Mabel knows she’s misleading people.” Grace sighed. “I don’t want to be judgmental, but it’s hard when I know my sister knows what she’s doing. She’s a liar.”

  Conner stood and walked to the window.

  “I don’t want to talk about Starlight anymore.” Grace paused. “Honey, how was your day?”

  He could hear the frown in her voice. He stood still, even when he heard her footsteps behind him. When she placed her hand on his shoulder, he was sure he’d stop breathing.

  “Conner, what’s wrong?”

  He licked his dry lips, then faced his wife. In his mind, he heard her words again, “Starlight is a liar. She’s a fake.” That’s what he felt like.

  Conner shook his head. “I just have a lot on my mind.”

  “Is it a case?”

  He nodded instead of speaking the lie out loud.

  “Is it something that I can help with?”