She grabbed an unopened carton of Rocky Road Peanut Crunch and pulled a tablespoon from the drawer. Leaning against the center island, she pounded the spoon against the hardened mound of cream until the handle bent. Then she stuffed a spoonful of Rocky Road into her mouth.
Devry sat and pulled out the chair next to her, scraping the legs along the tiles. “You should sit and then eat yourself into oblivion.”
Grace shook her head. “If I stand, I’ll absorb fewer calories.”
“Potato chips are better. If they’re broken, they don’t contain any calories.”
Grace looked around the designer kitchen filled with conveniences found only in the most expensive homes. “Got a bag?”
They laughed together.
A silent minute passed as Grace stuffed two more heaping spoonfuls into her mouth. Keeping her eyes plastered on the chunks of ice cream, she said, “What has Chandler told you?”
“Enough.”
Grace’s head snapped back. She had expected to throw off Devry with her question. “You know?”
Devry nodded, then rushed to add, “Just a little. Chandler told me there was a problem. I was waiting for you to fill me in.”
Grace tossed the half-empty container onto the granite counter and sat next to Devry. “I knew Conner would tell him. How long have you known?”
“A couple of days. You’re not mad, are you?”
Grace shook her head. “Those two can’t keep anything from each other.”
Devry said, “I mean at me. For not saying anything.”
“No.” She paused. “Though I have to hand it to you. If I’d known a piece of dirt like this, I wouldn’t have been able to keep my mouth shut.”
“Girl, there were so many times when I wanted to say something, or run over to your house, or call you …”
“But you were over here on your knees.”
Devry chuckled. “You got that right.”
A smile peeked through Grace’s lips, but it faded before it fully appeared. “It took me almost forty years to want to run away from home.”
“That might work,” Devry said without a smile. “Except your children may want to go with you.”
Grace moaned. “Don’t mention the girls. I can’t imagine what will happen to them when this all comes out.”
“They’ll follow your lead.” She paused. “So the issue is, what are you going to do?”
The question made Grace’s eyes well with tears. “I don’t know. There is a part of me …” Grace squeezed her hands into fists. “How could Conner drag us to this place?”
Devry shook her head.
Grace leaned back and relaxed her hands. “But there is another side to this,” she said softly. “What happened with Conner and Pilar was so long ago. He and I are good together now.”
“I know.”
“Every hurdle the devil has thrown at us, we’ve jumped over.”
“That’s true.”
“It’s like our marriage is a two-part play. In Act One, we couldn’t get our lines right, but …” She paused, scenes of their years fast-forwarding in her head. “The second act deserves a standing ovation.” She sighed. “How can I let a long-ago sin destroy us?”
“That’s a good question.”
Grace stood and walked to the window. “What am I supposed to say to the girls? What am I supposed to tell the rest of the family? What am I supposed to do when this comes out to everyone?” She paused. “Our lives are ruined.”
“Only if you allow it to be.”
She faced her friend. “Don’t play psychologist right now. Just tell me what to do.”
“Oh, no.” Devry shook her head. “You’re the judge and jury here, kiddo. The world revolves around you.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because Conner’s decisions have to follow yours. The girls will follow you. Even Pilar’s son. What will happen in his life depends on what you’re going to do.”
Grace closed her eyes and exhaled a long stream of air. But seconds later when she opened her eyes, the world hadn’t changed. Devry was still sitting at the table, and the image of a child she’d never met still filled every space in her head.
She looked at the container she’d left on the counter. A circle of water had formed at the edge as the ice cream began its transformation. Grace stirred the loosened mound and pushed a mushy spoonful into her mouth.
“There’s a little boy out there, Devry.” She paused as his image flashed through her mind again. It was a face shaped like Conner’s, but there were no eyes, nose, or mouth. Like the son of the invisible man. “But I have my girls to think about. How can we change our lives and have this little boy come live with us?”
“That’s getting way ahead of everything, Grace. Speaking professionally, I wouldn’t recommend …”
Grace held up her hand, stopping Devry. “Pilar has AIDS. She’s dying. She wants Solomon to live with us.”
“Whoa.” Devry’s groan was low and long.
“That’s why Pilar came to Conner. Otherwise she would have carried her child’s paternity to her grave.” This time, Grace groaned. “I shouldn’t have said that. But I think the boy would be better off with his relatives.”
“I’m sure Pilar considers Conner a relative.”
Grace pressed her lips together, and the pressure pushed tears to her eyes.
“Grace, I don’t think Pilar would have come to Conner if she hadn’t thought this through.”
“Solomon.”
“What?”
“The boy’s name is Solomon. Pilar’s son.”
Devry joined her friend in front of the window. “Grace, suppose this is Pilar’s final wish—to have Solomon with you and Conner.”
Grace couldn’t meet Devry’s stare. She lifted the ice cream container, and it crumbled in her hand. The cardboard sides that a short time before held firm the immovable mound had wilted.
Grace looked at what was left inside—just a little bit of cream, absent of the ice. “I can’t continue this way,” she whispered as she poured the liquid into the sink and watched as it swirled down the drain. “Conner has a son. With Pilar Cruise. It is what it is.” She bit her lip, before she added, “I can’t expect Conner to deny his son.”
Devry nodded.
“He wouldn’t be the man I love if he did.”
Devry smiled.
“And truth be told, I know what God expects. He’ll just have to give me enough grace to handle this.” Grace finally looked at her sister-in-law. A tear filled the corner of her eye. “So how much do I owe you, Doctor?”
Devry pulled Grace into her arms. When they stepped apart, more tears trickled down Grace’s cheek. Using her thumb, Devry wiped her friend’s pain away. “You don’t have to write a check, but I want payment,” Devry said. “I’m looking for a loving, compassionate woman to be my baby’s godmother.”
Grace wiped her eyes. “I don’t think you can call me compassionate when there’s a woman dying, a boy who needs his father, and I’m thinking about how sad I am.”
“Grace, no woman would have cheered at this news. This is a lot for anyone to take. At least you’re moving forward.”
Grace sucked her lip and nodded.
“Just be patient. With yourself and Conner. Because you’re holding onto the end of an emotional firecracker.”
“I can feel it fizzling in my heart.”
“God will make sure that you don’t get burned.”
Grace wiped away another tear. “I’d better get going. I have a husband I need to talk to.”
Devry hooked her arm through Grace’s, and they walked into the foyer. She kissed her cheek before she opened the front door. “A couple of days ago, I thought you were beginning a new ministry with your position as councilwoman. But now I suspect there’s a far greater mission awaiting you.” With her fingertips, Devry pushed a stray hair away from Grace’s forehead. “And know that I’m always here, girl. And so is God.”
Grace nodd
ed, then walked into the night.
Grace took another breath before she opened the door. She stepped inside, and Conner stood, as if he hadn’t moved since she’d left.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
Her eyes began their ascent right where his pants bent slightly at the knees. Even though he was wearing the same denim shirt and jeans as when she left, he seemed different. His shirt seemed snugger, his pants tighter. By the time her glance met his, she was smiling.
It took more will than she knew she had to resist trailing her fingers along the creases in his forehead. She wanted to kiss his concern away.
“I’m fine.”
Relief accompanied his exhale.
“Conner, this has been so hard for me.” She stepped closer. “I just don’t know what to do.”
He hesitated, then took a step toward her. “Me either. But whatever I do, I want to do it with you.” He reached toward her, as if he was going to take her hand, but then stopped. “We’ll make it through, Grace. I promise.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck. She wondered why her heart pounded, and then realized it was his familiar beat she felt. They held each other, letting the ticks of the grandfather clock guide them through time until the lock on the front door clicked. The door opened, and Jayde took two steps inside before she stopped.
Her eyes danced between her parents. “Hi.”
“Hey, sweetie.” Grace squeezed Conner’s hand before she walked to Jayde. “Did you have a good time?”
“It was really nice.” Her voice smiled, but her eyes held uncertainty. “Is everything all right?”
“Sure, honey.” Conner hugged his daughter.
Jayde grinned at her mother. “Mom, I had the best time. I met someone.”
“How did that work?” Grace asked, raising a teasing eyebrow. “I thought you were out with Brittany, Charles, and Philip.”
Jayde scrunched her face when her mother mentioned her boyfriend, Philip.
Conner made a “T” sign with his hands. “I’m going to leave you ladies alone.” He put his arm around Grace. “I’ll be waiting for you upstairs.” He brushed his lips across her cheek.
As Conner walked away, Jayde whispered, “If you want to go with Dad, we can talk tomorrow.”
“Absolutely not.” Grace wrapped her arm around Jayde’s shoulders and led her up the stairs. “I want to hear it all now.”
“But things seem better between you and Dad, and I don’t want to mess up anything.”
Grace stopped at the top of the stairs. “Jayde, you could never do that. Your dad and I had a disagreement, but we’re fine. I don’t want you worrying about us.”
Jayde pulled her mother into her bedroom. “I can’t help it, Mom.” She flopped onto her bed, as if the weight of her family’s problems kept her from standing. “It’s like we have the perfect life, but something’s going to mess it up.”
Grace swallowed, her smile gone. Then she lifted her chin. Their life would still be perfect, just different. She sat next to her daughter. “Honey, nothing can happen to our family. Do you know why?”
Jayde sat with wide eyes, eager to hear her mother’s assurance.
Grace placed her palm against Jayde’s cheek. “Because we have the best insurance. Not only do we love each other, but God is here. He’s our protector.” Grace pushed a braid away from Jayde’s eye. “So you don’t have to worry. Your father and I love you too much to let anything happen. But God loves you more, and He’ll take care of everything. Our family is going to be all right.” She hugged her before she added, “Now tell me about this new fantastic guy.”
Jayde grinned and pulled her legs under her. “Mom, he is so cute and so funny and so smart.”
“Where did you meet him?”
“Philip’s house. He’s Philip’s cousin, Donald.”
Grace almost laughed.
“And we had the best time, especially when we talked while he drove me home.” Grace’s grin turned upside down. “Philip’s mom didn’t bring you?” She continued before Jayde could answer. “How old is Donald?”
“Nineteen,” Jayde sang, as if it were a virtue.
Grace closed her eyes as Jayde continued. “Mom, he’s the coolest. He’s transferring to UCLA in the fall. That’s why he’s staying with Philip. His apartment won’t be ready until next week.” The way Jayde jumped from the bed, Grace was sure her daughter was going to dance. “He has these short reddish locks, and he had on leather pants and this matching jacket with silver studs that I know cost a fortune.”
Wait until Conner hears this, Grace thought. She would never get to tell him the boy’s age. Once she mentioned leather, it would be over.
“He knew that Aunt Star was my aunt.”
Grace returned her attention to Jayde.
Jayde continued, “I guess Philip told him. But he’s really into her. He’s been to a lot of her seminars.”
Nineteen, leather, and Starlight. Three strikes!
“He talked to me all night. Brittany was so jealous.” Jayde grinned.
“I saw your Aunt Star today,” Grace said because she wanted to get away from Donald.
Jayde returned to the bed. “Where?”
“At your grandmother’s house. Starlight just bought a condo in the Santa Monica Towers.”
“Oh, wow!” Jayde exclaimed, as if Grace just told her that Starlight had won the lottery. “All the movie stars live there. Aunt Starlight is always doing something totally cool.” She paused. “Mom, why don’t you like Auntie Star?”
Grace sighed. “It’s not that I don’t like her, honey. She’s my sister; I love her. But you know how Pastor Ford talked about hating the sin, but loving the person?”
Jayde nodded. “That’s hard to do, right?”
“It is, but that’s what I try to do with your aunt.”
“Donald said that Auntie Star teaches people how to use the true God.”
“That’s what I mean, honey. We’re not here to use God. He uses us.”
Jayde paused, as if she were trying to understand the difference.
Grace kissed her forehead. “It’s time for bed. We’re going to the eleven o’clock service tomorrow.”
“Okay.” Jayde hugged Grace. “Mom, you’re the best.”
When Grace stepped into the hallway, she leaned against Jayde’s door. “Our family is always going to be all right.” That’s what she’d told her daughter. Now she was going to make it so.
She peeked into Amber’s room, and was surprised that the covers were still over her daughter and not on the floor. Then she realized Conner must have checked on her. I really do have a wonderful husband, she thought.
Just as she turned out the light at the top of the stairs, the phone rang. She frowned. Who would be calling this late? She picked up the hallway phone, not wanting the ringing to wake Amber. But a millisecond before she said hello, she heard voices.
“Conner, this is Pilar.”
“Pilar … is something wrong?”
“No, I’m sorry it’s so late. It’s just that Solomon went to bed only a little while ago.”
“Is he all right?”
Grace stood in the dark, listening.
“Solomon is fine. We were just talking tonight about why he and I came to L.A.”
“You told him … that I was his father?”
Grace trembled. Had Conner met Solomon? How many secrets did Conner and Pilar share?
“He’s always known about his father, Conner. Never specifics. Never your name or where you lived. I only told him that his father loves him, but circumstances prevented us from being together. I still haven’t told him anything more. But I told him that we went to L.A. so that I could start exploring the possibility of him meeting you.”
Grace twisted the phone’s cord around her finger.
“You know, Pilar, I would have been there if I’d known.”
Grace inhaled.
“I mean, financially,” Conner finished.
Grace exhaled.
“And emotionally,” he said, making Grace take another deep breath. “What did he say … about meeting me?”
It seemed to Grace as if all three of them stopped breathing.
“He’s more concerned about me and my feelings, but let’s not talk about this tonight. I just wanted to thank you for your call today. I need to start setting things in motion for our son.”
Grace wrapped the phone cord around her hand.
“This gives me peace, Conner,” Pilar said.
“I’m glad. But Pilar, next time …” He paused and Grace prayed that he would tell her not to call his home, not to intrude on the time he spent with his loving family, not to upset his beautiful wife, the only woman he would ever love.
He said, “Never mind. I’ll speak with you on Monday.” He paused again. “I’ll call you … from the office.”
There it was, Grace thought. Her heroic husband. Who wanted to protect his wife—or keep more secrets from her.
“Good night, Conner.”
“Good night, Pilar,” Conner said a second before he heard two clicks. He frowned, staring at the phone in his hand. Then he heard the office door close. It took him a moment to put it together. Grace had been on the line.
He put the phone down and opened the door to their bedroom, then closed it. He couldn’t go to his wife right now. Not right after he’d spoken to Pilar. He walked into their bathroom and turned on the water full blast. He needed to take a shower.
Chapter 15
“Pick up a Bible tonight, Mabel.”
Grace’s words had reverberated through her mind all day. Starlight had tried to block out her sister’s voice on the ride home, but it was as if Grace was in the car. Even when she’d come home and seduced Lexington in the middle of the Grande Room, Grace stayed with her.
Now, as she stood on her balcony, she tried to throw Grace’s words into the blackness of the night ocean. “Pick up a Bible.”
She returned to her bedroom.
Lexington’s soft snores mixed with the surf. He had not awakened when she got out of the bed or during the last twenty-five minutes she’d spent on the balcony. Their sexathon had left him exhausted; it had left her wound up. She couldn’t sleep even though she’d taken two pills, double her prescribed dosage.
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