Truth Be Told

by Victoria Christopher Murray

  She hated when he spoke that way. It was not the language of the enlightened, and she couldn’t afford him slipping at a seminar.

  But she had another issue now. “Watch what you say in front of the girls.”

  Lexington shrugged. “They’re harmless. They’re stupid.”

  “Not Marta. In fact, get rid of her right after the conference.” His eyes questioned her. “She’s too curious.”

  “Okay. I’ll catch her in something.”

  His words were spoken from the memory of being dragged by a former employee to the Department of Labor. They’d settled, eager to avoid government scrutiny. Since then, every employee had been terminated for cause—money missing from their stations, pornographic Web sites on their computers, anything that a suddenly unemployed person would not want on the record.

  “Make sure Marta’s setup is good.” She opened the manila folder on her desk. “Now tell me about the rest of the conference.”

  “Our products could bring in another fifty thousand dollars.”

  Starlight smiled.

  “First, there’s the Bless-ed Water. Sales premise: Use a dab every day to continue in the light. It will wash away negative traces of your past, freeing you from pain, disappointments, and the heartache of relationships with men that you need to cleanse from your soul.”

  “Are we going to buy bottled water?”

  He looked at her as if she were stupid. “No. We’ll fill bottles with tap water.”

  Starlight’s eyes widened. “Where are we going to get all of those bottles, and who is going to fill them?” She shook her head. “I don’t want the Light Girls involved.”

  He leaned across the table and rubbed her hand. “You should know that we think alike.”

  No, we don’t, she thought, but she smiled.

  He leaned back as if he were about to reveal a million-dollar plan. “The bottles will come from a recycling center. On Saturday, I’ll pick up a few men outside Home Depot. I’ll take them to the hotel, give them the bottles in the bathroom, and tell them, ‘Fill ’er up.’” He chuckled.

  Starlight laughed, imagining the sight. “Make sure the bottles are filled with water and nothing more.”

  He buckled with more laughter. “We’ll sell close to five hundred. Some will buy two and three bottles. At twenty-five dollars a pop, that’s good money.”

  Starlight’s laughter stopped. “That’s a bit pricey for water.”

  “It’s Bless-ed Water.” His smile covered his entire face. “We’ll sell out. And if we don’t, we’ll save the bottles for the Revival.” He looked down at his notes. “Next are the Anointed Cloths. The ninety-nine-cents store has packages of ten handkerchiefs. It’ll cost thirty dollars for three hundred. But we can sell Anointed Cloths for fifteen, even twenty dollars apiece.”

  Starlight’s legs began to shake as she calculated it all in her head.

  Lexington continued, explaining the rest: enemas to cleanse the deep pain held within, bath salts to pull out the soul’s impurities, Anointed Keys to serve as visual reminders for the future. When he finished, he clasped his hands behind his head and smiled as if he’d just presented her with that million-dollar check.

  Starlight squeezed her legs together to stop their trembling and noticed another sensation. Her thoughts turned from the money. She sauntered to the door and locked it. Then she turned to Lexington.

  She began with her scarf, letting it glide across his face before it wilted to the floor. Then she unzipped her top. In less than a minute, she stood naked except for her purple pumps.

  Lexington’s eyes consumed her.

  She stood taller, proud that she was fit and looked as good as any twenty-year-old … almost.

  “Here?” The question quivered through his lips.

  Starlight tugged at his tie. “Don’t you think you deserve a reward?”

  “Yes.” He stood, his eyes never leaving her. He unfastened his belt and dropped his pants to his ankles.

  Starlight shook her head. “I want you naked, exposed, like me.” She pressed into his chest, and he moaned. She stepped back. Not yet.

  He stumbled out of his clothes. When he was nude, she put her hands together and bowed. “May the light forever be with you and yours.”

  “I’m about to give you some light.” He laid her on the conference table.

  It felt hard, cold, and wonderful as Starlight thought about the women outside the door. When Lexington lay on top of her, she thought about all he’d told her. When he moaned as if he’d found paradise, she asked herself if there was any difference between money, power, and sex. When she answered that question, the room filled with her own cries of ecstasy.

  Minutes passed before Lexington freed her from his weight. “Was it as good for you as it was for me?”

  She didn’t have to hide her annoyance at his Comic View line. Today, it didn’t bother her. “Lexi, baby,” she said as she cupped her palm against his face. “It was as good as it gets.”

  Chapter 20

  Grace pressed her ear against the bedroom door. She heard nothing, but she knew Conner could be reading or just laying in wait.

  She paced, her steps silenced in the carpet. Her plan had worked until now. First, motherly duties kept her occupied from the moment Conner came home. She saw his frustrated frowns, but once the girls went to their bedrooms, she pretended that city council responsibilities demanded her time. She’d stayed in the office with the cordless phone in her lap in case Conner walked in.

  Now she stood, ready to sleep. Not only did the clock in the foyer chime twelve times a few minutes ago, but the ache that smoked through her bones convinced her she was too tired to continue tonight’s charade.

  She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. “God, please, I don’t want to go into anything with Conner tonight. I promise, Lord, I will handle this … soon. Just make sure that Conner’s asleep.”

  “Mom?” Her eyes snapped open as Jayde walked toward her. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I was … praying. What are you doing up?”

  “I woke up and thought I heard something. When I looked in the hall, I thought you were sick.”

  Grace wrapped her arms around Jayde. “I’m fine,” she whispered as she walked her back to her room. “Go back to bed.”

  Jayde’s eyes remained on her mother until there was just a crack in the door.

  Grace inhaled and headed back to her bedroom. In minutes, Jayde would be checking again. She turned the door knob and tiptoed inside. Only the glow from her nightstand lamp lit the room. Conner lay on his stomach, his head turned away. She stood unmoving, then breathed when she realized he was asleep.

  She slipped into her closet, changed, then waited. When she heard just the rhythm of Conner’s sleep breathing, she crept across the room. Grace pulled back the covers, and stared at the two envelopes, right below her pillow.

  She picked up the papers, then sat on the bed’s edge turning the airline tickets over in her hands.

  “I want you with me.” Conner’s words floated over her shoulder.

  She closed her eyes and wondered why God hadn’t answered her prayer.

  “I want you by my side when I truly meet my son.”

  She pulled a ticket from one envelope. “Conner.” She faced him. “You want to leave on Wednesday? In just two days?”

  He nodded.

  “This is too fast.”

  He sat up. “Time’s not on our side.”

  Her shoulders slumped. “Even if he is your son, we still have a lot to work out.”

  “Nothing has to stop us from meeting Solomon.”

  “I’m thinking about Solomon.” She took Conner’s hand and said a silent prayer that the Lord would soften her words. “This is overwhelming to us, Conner. How can we expect a young boy to handle it? Do we want to invade his life this way?”

  Conner frowned.

  She continued, “Even if you are Solomon’s father, by meeting us, we may be complicating
things.” She looked away. “It may make it harder for … the people who Solomon will have to live with.”

  Grace was sure that minutes passed.

  Conner sat up straighter. “If he’s my son, he’s going to live with us.”

  His words pulled air from Grace’s lungs.

  “We don’t have a choice, Grace. No one in Pilar’s family wants Solomon.”

  Grace frowned. What was wrong with the boy?

  “Pilar’s family doesn’t want anything to do with a grandson, or a nephew, or a cousin who’s black.”

  Surprise kept her silent.

  “Grace, in a few months, Solomon won’t have a home unless we give him one.”

  His words made her wonder. Was that why he didn’t want to take the test? Was he already Solomon’s father, no matter what the DNA results said?

  Grace wasn’t sure whether the tears that stung her eyes were for her or for Solomon. She didn’t resist when Conner pulled her into his arms.

  “We can do this.”

  Grace lay still as he held her.

  “It’s going to take a lot,” Conner began, “but this will turn out fine. I promise.”

  The water that burned her eyes dripped onto Conner’s arm. He turned her, making her face him and began kissing away her pain.

  Sobs gave sound to her silent tears.

  His gentle kisses filled with urgency and she pulled him close, trying to make herself one with him. She moved her lips to his, thrusting her tongue inside his mouth, demanding that he know her feelings.

  Conner moaned; he understood.

  Grace still cried.

  She ripped his pajama shirt open, sending buttons flying across the room, then dug her fingers into his skin. She pressed against him, feeling his body stiffen with desire.

  He wanted her.

  Her tears flowed.

  Conner’s moans mixed with her cries filling the air with a mournful melody. With one hand, he edged Grace’s T-shirt up as his other explored beneath. But when he tried to push the shirt over her head, she refused to release her lips from his, leaving the shirt bunched around her neck.

  It didn’t matter. It didn’t stop her tears.

  Conner whipped the comforter away from their bodies, then fought to break from her lips. When he freed himself, his eager tongue pleased every part of her.

  Grace’s eyes stung as she squeezed the lids together. She clutched the sheet beneath her. She couldn’t tell the difference between the pleasure and the pain. It all fused inside and now fought to be released.

  Grace rolled Conner onto his back and straddled him. He looked up at her, and his long fingers wiped her flowing tears. She looked down at him, letting her tears drip, watering the center of his chest.

  When they joined, her blood felt like a thermometer’s rising mercury.

  The cries that escaped from her were beyond the moment. She collapsed onto her husband. Their uneven breathing and pounding hearts were the only sounds in the room.

  It was then that Grace realized her tears had finally ceased.

  Chapter 21

  “You should go to New York.”

  “Why should I when we don’t even know if …?” Grace gripped the telephone tighter and leaned back into her pillows. She didn’t complete her sentence, tired of singing the same song.

  “Because Conner asked you to,” Devry said.

  Grace ran her hands along Conner’s side of the bed where wrinkled sheets reminded her.

  Devry continued, “And because the trip to New York means nothing more than getting the paternity test done and … perhaps meeting Solomon. I’d go.”

  “That’s because you’re a better Christian than I am.”

  “That’s true,” she teased, but then her tone became serious. “You need to get focused, Grace. There’s a very good chance that you’re about to be with child. But look at it this way: you won’t have the stretch marks.”

  “I’ve got stretch marks, Devry, all over my heart.”

  There was silence before Devry said, “Maybe God’s expanded your heart. To help you make room …”

  Devry stopped, but they both silently completed her sentence with the same words—“… for Solomon.”

  Grace lifted Conner’s pillow, closed her eyes, and inhaled, swallowing his scent. The love they shared last night reminded her of their days at Yale. They would cut classes, sneak into custodial closets, even bathroom stalls. Anything to share their hearts, two, sometimes three, times a day. They explored, discovered, enjoyed, but were never able to satisfy their desire. Sixteen years ago, that kept their love on the edge. Now they didn’t need that.

  Not until last night.

  Grace felt as if she had experienced her husband for the first time. In a way, she had. It was the first time she’d made love to him knowing that he’d been with another woman.

  Devry interrupted her thoughts. “You’re going with Conner.”

  Grace couldn’t tell if it were a question or a demand.

  Outside the bedroom window, she could see the outline of the city’s skyline. During the campaign, she’d spent hours looking out this window, feeling victory in the view. How could you sit atop a city and not feel grand?

  “I’m going to New York.”

  Grace wasn’t sure that she’d actually uttered those words until Devry said, “See, you are a good Christian.”

  Her eyes remained on the window. “Maybe I just love my husband.”

  “That’s a good thing.”

  “And if I love him, then I can find a way to …” She stopped. Find a way to do what? Love Solomon? Bring him into their home if he were Conner’s son? Bring him into their home if he were not?

  “My goodness, Grace, I didn’t realize the time. I have a session.” Devry paused. “I wish we could talk some more.”

  “I’ll be fine.” Grace hung up without saying good-bye, her thoughts beyond the phone call.

  If I love him, then I can find a way to … She still couldn’t finish her sentence.

  Never did she believe she would have come this far. Just days ago, she never wanted to utter another word to Conner. But last night, they had shared an intimacy that still warmed her body.

  This morning, she was the one who stopped him before he got out of bed. “There’s something we have to do,” she had said, resting her hand on his.

  He had kissed her. “You’re forgetting last night.”

  She shook her head and scooted from her side of the bed. When she lowered herself to her knees, Conner’s smile disappeared, and he joined her.

  He took her hand, and she said, “Let’s pray for our children.”

  “Dear Heavenly Father,” his voice shook as he began. “We come to you with praise and thanksgiving, raising before you the gifts you have blessed us with … our children. Lord, give unto Jayde, Amber, and …” He paused.

  She said, “And Solomon.”

  They lifted their eyes.

  “And Solomon,” Conner said, keeping his gaze on Grace. With his eyes opened, he continued. “Give our children perfect hearts, to keep thy commandments, thy testimonies, and thy statutes and to do all these things, in Jesus’s name.”

  Together they said, “Amen.”

  Grace shivered now as she remembered that moment. She’d been able to make a little room for Solomon.

  “And if I can pray for him, I can do anything.”

  She hoped her words were true.

  Chapter 22

  The Statue of Liberty held her torch high, as the plane continued its descent. Grace wondered how many people had been welcomed into New York by Lady Liberty. Then she wondered how many people had viewed the statue the way she was seeing it today—with its back to the plane. Minutes later, the plane’s tires screeched onto one of JFK’s runways.

  “Welcome to New York where the local time is four-forty. Please keep your seat belts fastened until the captain has turned off the sign indicating it is safe to move about the cabin.”

  Grace locked
her eyes on the window, blocking the rest of the flight attendant’s words. Her mind was filled with thoughts that had held her hostage ever since she’d agreed to come to New York.

  It had been the shortest twenty-four hours of her life—from noon yesterday when she agreed to this trip, to this morning when she and Conner had taken their first-class seats in the Delta Airlines superjet. The hours had been filled with tasks that rearranged her life for this intrusion. Zoë would handle the office, and Lily was thrilled to have these unexpected days with her granddaughters.

  But there were times when Grace felt as if she was living through the longest hours as each passing second tortured her with new questions. What would Pilar say? What would Pilar do? What would the tests say? Would they meet Solomon? Should they?

  When she went to bed after eleven last night, she couldn’t close her eyes because of the images that waited in her subconscious. She’d lain awake until she surrendered and sat in the chaise for the rest of the night staring at the half moon.

  The morning’s light gave her new focus when she’d awakened Amber.

  “Mommy, what are you going to bring me from New York?”

  Grace had laughed as she checked the suitcase for items Amber may have added or subtracted. “I don’t know yet, sweetie. But I promise it will be something wonderful.”

  “I’m going to miss you, Mommy.”

  Grace hugged her. “Me too.” Tears stung her eyes, but when she looked up and saw Jayde standing at Amber’s door, she blinked them away.

  From the moment they’d announced this trip, Grace had endured a long interrogation, proving that Jayde was her father’s daughter. And from her stance, with her arms crossed and her eyes bearing down, Grace knew that the prosecution had not rested.

  “Mom, who did you say you were visiting in New York?” Jayde asked.

  “A business associate of your father’s,” she said as an image of Pilar flickered in her head.

  “Who specifically?”

  “I told you already, Jayde, you don’t know the person.” At least that was true.

  “The person must have a name,” Jayde insisted.

  Grace slammed Amber’s suitcase shut. “That’s the end to the questions, Jayde. Have you finished packing?”