The Forgotten Trilogy

by Cecilia Randell

  He didn’t let her go. “He did come to us. And we didn’t… we’re not used to this, a stor. We didn’t know how to…”

  She grabbed his braid and pulled his head back, no longer feeling the least bit guilty. “Did you really think I would walk away and leave you all?” Her words were a low growl and power pushed against the four men. “Haven’t we talked about this? Haven’t I told you how much I love you all? Haven’t I bared my soul for your gaze?” She sucked in deep, uneven breaths as she struggled to regain control.

  Ah, fuck it.

  She freed one of her arms and aimed a punch at Shar’s good eye. He let her go and scrambled back. “Haven’t I fucking given you everything I can?”

  “You kept your secrets!”

  The accusation came from Dub. His hands dropped to his sides and curled into fists. His eyes were wide and his lips thinned. His chest rose in rapid breaths as though he’d just fought a battle and lost…

  “We said no more secrets, storeen,” he finished as his shoulders slumped.

  Her own anger drained away with his. Just how long had this been eating at him?

  Bat stood and went to him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek to his chest. She stayed like that, his heart pounding against her ear, until he finally returned her embrace.

  “It is really not something I can share. Please believe that it tears me up to know that I am keeping things from you. Please trust that this is not a decision I came to lightly.” Bat pressed herself closer to Dub until every curve conformed to his hard frame. “And please know that it is not because I do not trust you. I am simply…” She didn’t know how to say it.

  “You are simply doing what you know to be the correct thing, even if it is the painful thing,” Finn finished for her.

  Finn, her guardi who sometimes understood her better than even Mell. She smiled.

  But, she still had one bone to pick with Dub. Hardening her expression, she pulled away far enough to look up at him without hurting her neck. “You thought I was going to leave?”

  He shrugged and looked away, not wanting to answer.

  “Would you have let me?”

  Dub’s arms tightened around her to the point of near pain. “Are you crazy? You’re not going anywhere. I’ve been busy coming up with schemes to keep you here, or keep Ailis unconscious. I might have started working on a pair of enchanted shackles…”

  She buried her head against his chest once more. Only this time she was hiding the grin that spread across her face at his possessive words. “Okay.”

  He stilled under her. “To the shackles?”

  Was that a hopeful note in his voice?

  “No.” She stroked his back. “Well, maybe. But that’s not what I said okay to. I didn’t really give my approval of anything. I thought okay could be used as a general acknowledgement of a subject being closed, and didn’t have to mean approval?”

  “Might want to pick a different word when Dub starts getting possessive and talking about locking you up, realta,” Mell said. “If you’re not careful, he’ll take you up on it.”

  “Oh. Okay.” A pause. “Damn, I believe I’ve gotten into the habit of using this word.”

  A new hand landed on her back, rubbing over her shoulders. “I think we need new rules,” Shar said from behind her.

  “Yes, the ‘no secrets’ rule will need to be amended. What if we promise ‘no secrets unless it would mean world destruction and chaos if we reveal them’?”

  Silence greeted her proposal.

  “Oh, I had not mentioned that part, had I?”

  “No-oooooo…” Mell choked out.

  “I… could agree to that,” Finn said, his tone thoughtful. Bat suspected he had figured things out a while ago.

  “I will add an amendment to this new rule,” Dub said. “If in the event this secret becomes dangerous to one of us, it will be revealed, no matter what it is.” He pulled away from her and slid his hands to her upper arms. Meeting her gaze, he gave her a light shake. “I will not have you keeping things from me that may put you in harm’s way, understand?”

  It was a reasonable expectation. And the only way this secret would become dangerous was if someone else were to discover it, and act upon it. In which case it would no longer be a secret. “Understood.” Then she frowned up at him and attempted to poke his chest. He still held her arms, though, and her movement was hampered. “I have another rule to add. No more assuming stupid things.” She twisted around to send a mock-glare at the other three men. “For any of us. If one of us is worried, or hurt or upset, or something is bothering us, we have to say something. And if we think any one of us is going though any of those, we must ask. No one may answer with ‘okay,’ ‘fine,’ or ‘nothing’ as an answer unless those are true answers. You may say ‘I do not want to talk about it right now.’ That is acceptable. However, when the person is ready to talk, they must.” She bit into her lower lip. “I think that covers it all? I really do wish Ailis was awake, she would know what else to add to the condition…”

  “I feel like we should have written that down, or recorded it or something,” Shar said.

  “It was kind of convoluted,” Mell teased.

  “I understood it,” Finn said, his tone smug.

  “Stop being a lickarse, guardi,” Dub shot back. The he looked back down at Bat. “I understood it too.” He grinned, but there was something malicious about it. “We will also add ‘you wouldn’t understand’ and ‘it’s not important’ to the list of things you can’t answer with.”

  “Great,” Mell grumbled.

  “Those are two of his favorite phrases when he doesn’t want to talk about something,” Shar stage whispered to her. “Well, other than just remaining silent. He’s really good at remaining silent.”

  “You’d never know it, though. The sap always has something to say…” That was Finn.

  “Will you please stop insulting me, oh dear brothers. My poor, fragile ego can’t handle the abuse.” Mell flopped onto his back on the bed. “See, realta, I’m expressing. I’m expressing that I have a problem with the way my bothers insult me, especially the eldest.” He pouted, but happiness rode out of him in waves. “He’s always been a bit of a bully, you know.”

  Bat laughed, delighted. This, right here, was what she wanted. Them talking together, teasing, getting angry and making up. “I do love you, you know.”

  Dub crushed her to his chest again and Shar crowded in behind her. Mell jumped form the bed and wrapped his arms around all three of them. After a brief hesitation, Finn joined the group hug, increasing the smother-factor by ten.

  They still had not said the words, but Bat didn’t worry.

  They would.

  Because in her heart she knew they already returned her feelings, even her reluctant guardi.

  Though there were moments she faltered, she had learned to listen to her heart and to trust in herself.

  And to trust in these four men.

  Chapter 29

  Four months later…

  DUB

  Pink-golden light filtered in through the high windows of the forge. Dub set down a tiny file onto the worktable tucked in one corner of the now clean and well-maintained room, and studied his work.

  The file was part of a new set of tools he’d acquired three months before, a little after he, Shar, Mell, and Finn had confronted Bat about her intentions towards them.

  Her intentions. He snorted. Sometimes he amused himself, though he would never let his brothers find out the direction his thoughts occasionally strayed into. If they did find out he would never live it down.

  They were all such fucking idiots back then. He rolled his eyes at himself. We’re still fucking idiots. Wankers. Whatever.

  Dub admitted it, his thoughts at the time had been out of line. While he knew his feelings for her, and she’d confessed her own, what they all had together was so new—and so unlike any other relationship he’d ever seen—he was thrown into confusion an
y time he couldn’t figure out what she was thinking.

  The new rules had probably been of more help to him than any of the other four. They gave him permission to demand she tell him what was on her mind. Over the last four months he’d used that right liberally.

  His phone rang. “What?”

  “Are you done?” Finn asked.

  “What the hell do you think, guardi?”

  “I think that if ye’re not here in the next thirty minutes the surprise we have prepared will be ruined,” was the harsh rejoinder from the man who’d become his greatest rival for Bat’s attention.

  And also, surprisingly, his greatest confidant. Out of the four men, he and Finn had had the hardest time opening up their defenses to the goddess, even after they’d admitted their feelings.

  Well, not to her. Not yet. That’s what tonight was about.

  “I’ll be there in twenty. Everything else ready?”

  “What do you think?” Finn slapped his own words back at him.

  Dub hung up. No reason to keep talking to the asshole.

  Opening a shallow drawer that usually held scraps of the more rare and delicate metals, he studied the five velvet-covered boxes that nestled inside. Pulling out the one that sat at the far end, he placed the last of his creations inside.

  They were complete—his offerings to his goddess.

  He gathered all the boxes into an embroidered, deep-red velvet bag, rose, and headed home.

  MELL

  He was sweating. It was ridiculous. He’d played his guitar thousands of times over the centuries. He’d performed more songs than most people knew existed. He’d entranced women and men both with the sounds he could coax from the strings of his favorite instrument.

  A pint landed on the bar in front of him with enough force that a line of foam spilled over the side. Mell looked up to meet his youngest brother’s eye.

  “Drink it. She’ll be here soon and you need to relax.”

  Without a word Mell grabbed up the glass and drained half of the wonderful brown liquid in one go.

  “Ye’ve been working on this for months now, Mell. It’ll be great.” Shar crossed his arms and frowned. “And even if it isn’t, she’ll love it.”

  Mell raised a brow at his brother. That was something he’d expect to come from Dub’s mouth, or maybe Finn’s. Those two had grown way too close over the last months.

  “You could string together nonsense syllables into the most cacophonous melody ever invented and she would love it.” Shar paused, a grin growing on his face. “Because it came from you.”

  That was another change. The largest brother smiled so much these days that most had already forgotten how withdrawn and silent he used to be.

  Dub was the grumpy one, Mell was the happy-go-lucky one, and Shar was the silently protective brother who tried to maintain the peace. That was who they were, who they had always thought they’d be…

  Until their goddess came and changed them. It wasn’t really change, it was more that she…

  She allowed them to find new sides to themselves. Sides they had thought were long gone or had never existed at all.

  Finn entered the bar from the kitchen hallway and took the stool next to Mell. “Dub’s on his way.”

  This was it. They were really doing this. He’d been wanting to tell her for a couple months now, the words fighting to slip out of him, but the time never seemed right. He also didn’t want to step on his brothers’ toes—and yes, he now thought of Finn as a brother.

  “How much more time?” he asked.

  “Meera’s with her and the pups. She’s going to call when they’re on their way back.”

  Mell nodded and took another sip of his pint, his hands trembling lightly.

  His lips curled into a rueful smile as he stared at the liquid heaven that was Guinness.

  I love you. I love you. I love you. He chanted the words in his head.

  The three words he was finally going to say to her tonight.

  Who knew three words could turn a man into a quivering mess?

  Mell tilted his head back, then looked to Finn and Shar in turn. “Any of you ever told a woman before?”

  “Yes,” Finn said. “Twice. Once I meant it with all my heart, the other…” He shrugged. “The other was Grainne.” The Guardi Captain’s words were matter of fact, the past guilt and sorrow that haunted him at the mention of his old fiancée no longer in evidence.

  “I have not.” Shar frowned. “There were times I wanted to, but something always held me back.”

  Mell waved his hand, telling Shar to continue.

  “I didn’t really love them. I cared for them, and I lusted after them, but I can tell now it wasn’t love.”

  “And you’re ready now?”

  “Yes.” Shar’s answer was simple, and all the more profound because of that.

  “What about you?” Finn asked. “Since we’re suddenly in a sharing mood…”

  Mell grimaced. “I have. And it was never this hard to say. I’ve been thinking, maybe that’s why I didn’t just tell her. I wanted this to be different, because I had said the words when they were untrue. I didn’t want…”

  “You didn’t want them to have no meaning,” Finn finished for him.

  The three men exchanged a glance of understanding.

  SHAR

  Shar left Finn and Mell to their conversation. They’d kept the pub closed today in preparation. The plan was to get Bat out for a few hours, then surprise her with their gifts when she returned. After that, he’d think about unlocking the doors and letting the ragtag group of fae that Bat liked to call “family” come in and steal her attention.

  He wanted to check his preparations one last time.

  Shar examined the offerings laid out on the kitchen island. A bowl of the ripest strawberries. Check. A saucer and cup with a dab of whiskey in the bottom. Check. Tea kettle and tea bag ready and waiting. Check. Fresh bread and butter. Check.

  Two potted cornflower plants that he’d been cultivating for the last month and a half.

  Check.

  He’d chosen these for two reasons. One, he knew she liked the color. Two, she’d mentioned once that she kept a pot of them on her windowsill back in Egypt.

  Okay, three reasons.

  Finn had said she carried their scent on her.

  It was sappy, he knew, but one pot was for her, to keep in her room.

  The other was for him. So he could keep a bit of her close to him even on the nights she spent in one of the other men’s arms.

  His chest tightened a bit at the thought, though it was nowhere near as bad as it used to be. He no longer needed to suppress random urges to beat one of them silly. It only happened once, he reminded himself. He’d also stopped contemplating stealing away with her. Well, not as often. No more than once a week.

  As time went on, Shar was sure that would lessen to once a month, then maybe once a year. He didn’t tell her about these thoughts, nor did he act on them. He’d promised her after all. He would protect his goddess, even if it was from his own urges.

  Shar hummed as he fussed with the placement of the dishes on the island before finally putting them back exactly as he’d had them. How much time before she returned?

  FINN

  Finn patted his chest, making sure the envelope was still secure in the inner pocket of his jacket. Stiff paper met his fingers and his lips tipped up at the corners. Mell sent him a knowing smile as he sipped the last of the pint Shar had poured.

  The brothers had spent months thinking about and working on their gifts. Their offerings, as Bat liked to call them.

  Finn hadn’t. He’d known since the all too brief encounter in his apartment what he would get her when he was finally ready to return the three words she’d been brave enough to say first.

  He’d been ready since the day they returned to the pub from Tir Hudi. Except Bat had been too wrapped up in getting Ailis better. And then Finn had realized he couldn’t be the first of the men
to say it. The brothers were already holding onto their own control so tightly, Finn didn’t think they could take it if he was the first to offer the words to Bat.

  Their relationship was a delicate balance that someone needed to maintain. Someone other than Bat, that was.

  How did I get in this position? How did I become the damned referee?

  Finn drummed his fingers on the bar. Oh, he knew the answer. It was her smile. He’d fucking do anything to see her smile. And when the men all got along, she smiled the widest.

  He rested his elbows on the bar and buried his head in his hands. “Fuck my life.”

  Mell nudged him. “Want a pint?”

  “Sure, why not.”

  Mell rose and slipped behind the bar. Finn didn’t move until the glass was set in front of him.

  “You know, I think it’ll get better,” Mell said, as though he was picking up in the middle of a conversation they’d never been having.

  “Huh?”

  “Us brothers. We’ll get better. Shar’s already calmer, and Dub’s anger surges less every day. You won’t have to play referee so much.”

  Finn raised a brow as he took a sip of his Guinness. “And you?”

  Mell bobbed his head and hummed. “Oh, I’m still going to be a pain in the ass for you. But, once I get this—these words—out, I’ll try not to be such a pain in the ass.”

  Finn growled, sounding too much like Dub for his own comfort. “Are you telling me you’ve been acting like a brat just because you could?”

  Mell’s head tilted. “Do you not know me?”

  Finn tensed as annoyance gripped him. Then the absurdity of it hit him and he let out a loud laugh. “You are all wankers,” he finally said when he caught his breath.

  “Well, yes,” Mell said simply.

  The back door opened then slammed shut.

  “Dub’s here,” Mell said with a wide smile. “Now all we need is our goddess.”

  BAT

  Meera had dragged her and the pups out for a long round of window shopping. Not that Bat minded, exactly, but she was worried about her not-men. There was something going on with them.