You Had Me At Christmas: A Holiday Anthology

by Karina Bliss

  He could only imagine where her mind would go after that.

  Swell. I’m on a date with a convicted criminal. Way to go, Kate.

  The first thing she would wonder was what he did to get himself in there. His words of innocence, an asshole cop giving him a hard time and too much booze, would probably fall on deaf ears.

  Everyone in jail thought they had been mistreated by the system.

  For John it was simply an event. It happened. He had to do eight months of time inside, with twelve months of parole following his release.

  Since then he’d kept his nose clean. He’d been able to find work on the Philadelphia Ferry System, and during the summer it was just him and his commercial fishing boat. The fish didn’t care that he’d seen the inside of a cell.

  She would. She would worry about him getting violent with her after he told her the story. She would worry about drug use and possibly his sexual history and exposure to STD’s.

  He could tell her that not every man who went inside was a candidate for rape. He could tell her he’d never done drugs on the outside, and wasn’t looking to pick up a habit on the inside. He could tell her that he basically spent eight months reading any book he could get his hands on and catching up on sleep.

  Would it matter?

  Don’t tell her.

  It was simple enough. Avoid that two-year period of his life—hell, it was six years ago now—and tell her about everything else. Then if there was a second date or a third, he could be honest with her. She would know what kind of man he was by then and she could decide for herself if she could be with someone who had a criminal record.

  Hell, if she got to know him, realized what kind of man he was, and decided it still mattered to her, then that wasn’t anyone he wanted to be with anyway. John was no damn snob. He knew good men, he knew bad men and he was probably somewhere in between. He didn’t spend his life judging other people and he sure as hell would not tolerate being judged by someone who didn’t understand the circumstances.

  Then he shook his head. He was overthinking the shit out of this. It was a freaking blind date and nothing else. She could be nothing like her picture. Her personality could be nothing like how he had… what was the right word… read?

  Because that’s all they had done so far. Typed things to each other. Intimate things. True things.

  Lonely?

  So lonely.

  Really, wasn’t that what all the matchmaking internet websites and apps were about? Trying to find someone to be less lonely?

  John didn’t know if he was cut out for any kind of real relationship. He had a woman once, he lost her and he figured that was it for him. Loading that stupid app on his phone had been nothing but a joke he and his buddies had done after work at the bar.

  Johnny, trust me. You just swipe and it’s like all the free pussy in the world is right there in your fingertips.

  Kate didn’t feel like pussy to him, though. Yes, it was intimate, yes, it was the most action he’d seen in a year, which probably made him the horniest man alive. And yes, it got him off hard last night once he put the phone down.

  Still, it had felt like… more.

  He guessed he would find out tomorrow. Which of course begged another question.

  What the hell was he going to wear?

  Chapter Four

  It was eight o’clock on the dot according to her car clock, which was perfectly synced to her phone. Kate always made sure all the clocks, watches, oven clocks, microwaves at home and in the office were all always the exact time. It was a little OCD thing she had. One of those things someone might think was really cute about her or really annoying.

  She was parked in front of McGlinn’s, frozen in her car. She could hit the button on the dash, start the expensive Mercedes, pull out and pretend…

  That she was a coward?

  There would be no pretending. She was a coward.

  A grown, sophisticated, successful independent woman, and she was frightened of a blind date.

  No, it wasn’t the date she was frightened of, it was him. John.

  She’d read back through their exchanges, and thinking about some of things he’d said to her, made her do, the way he seemed to take control of everything… it had all happened so fast. While at the time it had been incredibly arousing, she wondered for the thousandth time since she’d agreed to meet him what he might be like in real life.

  There is only one way to find out.

  Kate undid her seat belt and heard her phone chime. This was it. He was probably cancelling. Maybe he was sitting in his car too, thinking that this was all a big mistake. She reached for her bag and pulled out her phone.

  I’m at the bar. Dark leather jacket.

  Dark leather jacket. Got it. Kate took a huge breath and opened the door. She did one last check of hair and makeup in the rear view mirror and made the march so many singles had made before into the depths of the unknown.

  She walked inside the restaurant and was struck by all the Christmas lights that winked and glittered over the bar. Christmas music was playing, and she realized that not two days later she had already forgotten it had been Christmas. That New Year’s was just a few days way.

  She scanned the length of the bar and saw him immediately. Even just from the profile, she could see he looked like his picture. The first test a pass, she started forward when he turned to look toward the door. He saw her and smiled, and then she watched as he moved his eyes over her, taking in the sleek, hopefully sexy black dress she wore along with the expensive shoes. Or maybe he was thinking about the body beneath all of that. She didn’t know, but she saw that this smile was gone.

  “John?”

  “Kate.” It sounded like a sigh.

  She held her hand out to him, and he took it carefully, as if she were made of china. She could feel his calluses. He would feel the pampered, manicured hands of a woman who spent most of her day typing.

  “Hi.”

  “Please, my manners. Sit down.” He scooted over on the stool he was sitting on to allow her to sit next to him. She put her clutch purse on the bar as she tried to elegantly lift up onto the bar stool, and his eyes went directly to it, fixed on the expensive purse.

  Now not only was he not smiling, he was scowling instead.

  She’d overdone it. The dress, the heels, the designer purse. It was too much. Especially looking around the bar and the crowd that filled it. “I haven’t been to a place like this since college,” she said without really thinking. Then it occurred to her how that might sound. “I didn’t mean…”

  “Yeah. Right. I’m an ex-con. Shit. Fuck. I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”

  John pushed back the stool and Kate watched him walk out of the bar without even realizing what was happening. Stunned, hurt, she scurried herself to leave before anyone could see what had been done to her.

  This was far worse than being stood up. This was him treating her as if she were the creepy troll. At least have the good manners to pretend a fake emergency. Something other than total abandonment.

  When she pushed open the doors of the restaurant, John was still standing there by the entrance. Cursing rather fluently at himself. Suddenly, it all seemed so ridiculously funny. Here they were, two grown adults acting like innocents. Teenagers dating for the first time were not as bad as they were.

  Tentatively, Kate walked up to him and tapped him on the back. He turned and once again seemed flummoxed by her appearance. “If the reason you left is because you don’t like the way I look, then I’ll leave and never talk to you again. But…”

  “You might be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on,” he stopped her.

  Kate smiled. She couldn’t remember the last time a man called her beautiful. Competent, professional, intelligent, yes. Never beautiful. She liked it.

  “But this isn’t going to work. You’re…you are way out of my league.”

  “I don’t know about that. You’re rather handsome yourself.”
>
  He ran a hand through his salt-and-pepper hair, and she thought she liked the way the lines around his eyes crinkled. He was taller than she was, even in her high heels, and she had this crazy urge to put her arms around his waist to see how they would fit together.

  “That’s not what I mean. Look at you, you’re this high-class lady and… well, I’m not. I work down at the docks in the winter and I own my own boat and catch fish in the summer.”

  Kate tilted her head. “So you’re an entrepreneur. Me too. That’s something we have in common.”

  “Kate,” he said, almost as if he was frustrated with her even though this was their first meeting.

  “I did cross a bridge for you. The Ben Franklin. That’s a toll and everything. Seems kind of cruel not to even buy me a drink.”

  He blinked and then shook his head. Then, with a sheepish smile that made her like him even more, he nodded. “Okay. I guess you can tell I don’t do this a lot.”

  “I’m happy you were more nervous than me. Kind of took the edge off. And I learned you’ve got a hell of a cursing vocabulary. I found some of your combinations rather innovative. Another thing we have in common.”

  “You truly are beautiful.”

  She smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Then buy me drink, sailor?”

  Another twist of his lips. “Actually, in the summer I’m considered the captain.”

  “Should I salute?”

  “She’s cheeky,” he said to no one in particular. “I like cheeky. Okay, let’s do this.”

  He reached out his hand again, this time to take hers instead of to shake it. He led her back inside and asked the hostess for a table. The young woman walked them back to a cozy booth, where they sat across from each other and Kate got to order a glass of wine.

  “This feels more like what I was expecting,” she said as she sipped the Chardonnay the waitress had delivered.

  “I couldn’t have gotten us off to a worse start, could I?”

  “Probably not.” Kate smiled. “I think you have a story to tell me, though.”

  He sighed and looked away. “I told myself I wasn’t going to tell you. Not on the first date. I wanted a chance for you to get to know me. Sometimes when people find out, it’s all they see. I didn’t want to be defined by that. It’s not who I am.”

  Kate could appreciate that, but it didn’t make her any less uncertain of the situation. “I don’t want to define you. But I think I need to know…”

  “I hit a cop,” he told her. “I can tell you he was a bad cop. I can tell you I thought I was doing the right thing at the time. I can also tell you I was drunk. I’m not a drunk,” he said, lifting his beer. “This happened to be a bad night for me. I can tell you all of that but unless you know me, trust me, then I sound like any other ex-con who deep down thinks he’s innocent.”

  Kate wasn’t sure what to say to that, because he was right. She couldn’t say she knew him, so she couldn’t say she trusted him. What she knew deep down though was that she wanted to trust him. She thought that was a good sign. A person didn’t hire hundreds of employees without being able to read people.

  She took another sip of her wine. “Was it awful? Being inside?”

  “It was mostly boring. I’m not someone who handles being idle very well. When you have hours to sit all day thinking about shit…sorry, stuff. It can mess with your head.”

  Kate reached across the table and put her hand on top of his. “Please, I’m not some delicate creature you have to watch your language around. I think we’ve already established I’m in awe of your colorful swearing.”

  John shook his head and looked away from her even as he slowly pulled his hand back from under hers.

  “Kate, that’s exactly what you are. You’re elegance and class. A lady. That’s the first thought that crossed my mind when I saw you. I’m hardworking, usually dirt poor unless the summer is a boon, and crass. I don’t see how those two worlds fit. I think if we were both smart we would finish our drinks, I would walk you to your car and we would call it a night.”

  Kate rolled the stem of her wine glass between her fingers. “Is that what you want to do?”

  She held her breath and then summoned up the courage to look him in the eyes.

  The pause felt almost menacing.

  “I think it’s for the best,” he said finally. Maybe grudgingly, Kate hoped. As if the words were a contradiction to his thoughts. It really didn’t matter if he was acting against his own wishes though. The result was the same.

  “Okay. I don’t really need to finish my wine then,” she said, pushing the glass away. “Maybe we can just get the check?”

  “Right.” He nodded with a sigh even as he signaled the waitress. “I screwed this up again. You haven’t even taken two damn sips and now I’ve just made the situation awkward. I’m so sorry.”

  Kate shrugged. “You’re being honest. I can’t fault you for that. Please know that I didn’t intend to show off or anything with the fancy clothes. I mean I wanted to look nice, so I dressed up. Instead, I made you uncomfortable. Maybe if I had treated this a little more casually… Anyway, if anyone is to blame it’s probably me. In fact I’m certain it’s me. I’m awful at this aspect of my life. Always zigging when I should have zagged.”

  The waitress dropped the check off and they both reached for it.

  “Please,” he said. “Leave me some pride.”

  A flush crept up her neck as she realized what it must have looked like. Especially after what he’d said about being dirt poor. Kate lifted her hand off the check. “I’m sorry… I’m just used to… You’re right. This was a mistake. I should go now.”

  She stood up and left without another word, thinking about how quickly she might delete the dating app from her phone. She was halfway to her car when he caught up to her.

  “Kate,” he said, reaching out to grab her elbow.

  Turning toward him, she lost any pretense of good date behavior. “I want to go home. Can’t we be done?”

  “No. You have to know you didn’t do anything wrong. This was about me,” he said gruffly. “I need you to understand you’re…”

  “Beautiful and elegant,” she snapped. “So you said. A real lady you want nothing to do with. I get it. But I wasn’t exactly a real lady the other night, was I? Actually I thought I was rather slutty. Maybe that’s who you were expecting?”

  His lips pressed into a flat line of displeasure and Kate thought about apologizing again for her rudeness. What was the point?

  “I said I would walk you to your car and I’m going to do it,” he said, following behind her as she started walking away.

  Kate pulled out her keys and hit a button that would unlock the driver’s side door. She stood in front of the silver Mercedes and figured that was just another strike against her.

  He leaned around her to open her door and she had to step back to let him, which ended in an awkward moment with her back pressed up against his chest so that when she turned to say a final goodnight she was only inches from his mouth, his lips.

  His first thought of her had been that she was a real lady. Her first thought of him had been that she wanted to kiss him.

  “Fuck,” he whispered. “Just one time.”

  Then she felt his hand behind her neck, his mouth pressed up against hers and they were kissing. It was almost startling. Like something she’d forgotten she’d been able to do. Kate, however, quickly remembered and opened her mouth. She felt the erotic push of his tongue against hers and wrapped her arms around his waist. He pulled her in closer, then dropped his mouth to place a kiss right below her ear.

  “Damn you, you even smell like class,” he muttered even as he traced kisses down her neck.

  But the word was like a glass of cold water dropped on them, forcing Kate to remember this hadn’t been a fun date. Certainly not a date that should have ended with a toe-curling kiss.

  She pushed against his chest and immediately he took a step bac
k. “Goodnight, John.”

  “Kate, wait…”

  She was done listening to him and she certainly didn’t want to hear another apology. She got in her car and closed the door and John simply backed away. She didn’t wave goodbye and she didn’t look at him, except when she pulled away she couldn’t help but check the rear view mirror.

  He was still standing there watching her go, and even though she couldn’t see him clearly anymore she thought he looked sad. Why that made her sad in return seemed completely irrational.

  Chapter Five

  Sally was practically bouncing on her toes when she popped into Kate’s office that Monday.

  “Well? Don’t keep me in suspense. How was it?”

  Kate looked up at her well-intentioned assistant. She probably never should have told her about the date. Now she had no choice other than to recap it, which was something she desperately didn’t want to do. “Okay, imagine the best date you ever had…”

  “Yes, and?”

  “And this was the opposite of that. Next time you get near my phone to load a dating app I’m chopping off your fingers.”

  Sally’s face fell and she took a seat. “That bad?”

  “The worst.”

  Except for the kiss, of course. The kiss was amazing. The kiss had her up all night. The kiss she couldn’t forget. Which might have made the whole experience that much more terrible because she couldn’t forget any of it.

  “Loser, jerk, boring…”

  No. None of those things. Nervous, hot, but not for her.

  “Try an ex-con.”

  It was cruel, Kate thought, to use that against him. Knowing he didn’t want to be stereotyped for that one event in his life. However, it was the easiest shortcut to explaining why the date had been a bust.

  “Holy crap! For real? Was he all tattoos down his face and stuff?”

  Kate shook her head, understanding now John’s concern with being truthful about his past. People hear convict and an image immediately comes to mind.