River of Love
Page 9
“I’m trying to be honest. How can you expect any man to look at you and not want to touch you, to kiss you? You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever met, the way you’re careful one minute and confident and challenging the next. And you drive me insane in the most exquisite way, running hot one second and then scared in the blink of an eye. But mostly it’s the way your eyes devour me but your words slay me.”
“Sam,” she whispered. Her hands slid down his chest to his waist, hot and seductive as they swayed almost imperceptibly to the music, their bodies touching at every possible point.
“Your eyes are so full of want and worry. I want to ease your worries and savor your wants.”
She swallowed hard. Knowing he was affecting her as wickedly as she was affecting him spurred him on.
“I thought we could have dinner and get to know each other without doing anything more tonight, but I honestly can’t stop thinking about kissing you. It’s not that I’m trying to get you in my bed tonight, or tomorrow, or next week. But…”
Her heart pounded wildly against his chest. Her fingers dug into his waist, sending bolts of lust to his core. She blinked up at him, her eyes dark as the night sky, sending pinpricks of awareness down his spine. He couldn’t hold back a second longer. He had to know if she was right there with him.
“What do you feel, Faith?” His voice was rough with restrained desire. “Right now, what do you want? Does any part of you not want to be here? Do you want to talk? Or do you want to stop worrying, stop craving, and finally get a taste of us? One. Single. Kiss.”
Her eyes widened with surprise and quickly narrowed again, filling with untamed desire. Without a word she went up on her toes, and he claimed her, crushing her sweet body to his. The kiss was hungry and messy, demanding and urgent, as their tongues crashed together in an effort to taste more, take more. She tasted of night and lust and unnamed things that made his heart swell. Her luscious curves pressed against him, making him hard and hungry for more. His hands slid down her spine, earning a wanton moan from deep within her. He fought for control, but his hands itched to feel her hot skin, to hear that sexy moan as he came down over her naked body and buried himself deep inside.
Her hands moved up his chest, pressing against his pecs, while her hips wreaked havoc against his hard length. He slid one hand beneath the back of her shirt, needing the connection with nothing in between. A sinful sound escaped her, pulling a groan from deep within him. How was he supposed to resist her? How could he protect her from him when she consumed his every thought, drove his every move?
**
SHOCKED AT HER own eager response to the force of pleasure one kiss from Sam was bringing to every inch of her body, Faith tried to pull back. But her brain didn’t get the message, and she went up higher on her toes, trying to get closer, to take the kiss deeper. His hands were big and hot, branding her through her clothes and making her swell and ache between her legs. More, she wanted more. She clung to his neck, fighting the urge to climb him like a mountain and devour him limb from limb. But his parents were right downstairs, and if her legs wrapped around his waist she’d never want to let him go.
Oh no, no, no. She needed to slow down. She couldn’t go there with him. He’d fried her brain cells. Again. This was becoming a habit, first his glances, then his words, then his touch, and now this…this delicious, incredible, perfect kiss. She didn’t want to be his plaything for a night and know he’d be right back on the trail of some other woman a day or two later.
But his glorious, talented mouth was too delicious to resist. His tongue moved roughly over hers, and as if he knew exactly what she needed, he eased his efforts. Kissing her softer, slower, and bringing a whole new meaning to the word torture. His tongue moved sensually over hers, his hands pressed against her bare back, holding her possessively but not controlling her. Pleasure radiated out from every point in her body—her knees, her hips, her breasts—with the tantalizing tenderness of the kiss. He took control without force or domination, and without severing their connection, making the kiss that much sweeter.
His hands slid beneath her hair, and then his big, strong hands framed her face as he drew back, placing a series of shivery kisses on her cheeks, her chin, and finally, on her mouth once again.
“That, was…” he whispered against her lips, before pressing his mouth to hers again. “Open your eyes, Faith. Look at me. Be with me.”
His intimate request brought her eyes open, and the way he was looking at her, like he’d been waiting his whole life to kiss her, to hold her this close, was dizzying. She sank back down to her heels. Her legs felt like wet noodles, but her body felt like it was on speed. Wanting, craving, aching for another kiss.
He touched his forehead to hers, and a satisfied smile curved his lips. “Do you want to leave?”
“No.”
A flash of heat sprang into his eyes, and just as quickly they warmed with an emotion less urgent, less sinful, but just as powerful, and he touched his mouth to hers again.
“Thank God.” His voice was thick with desire.
She wanted this—his kiss, his touch—but she’d almost lost control with him, and she needed him to know her limits. “But I can’t do more.”
“No more,” he repeated.
She shook her head, and he wrapped her in his arms and held her tight, his cheek resting against the top of her head, and she thought she could be happy staying right there in his arms forever.
Her stomach growled and she groaned.
“Guess I can’t pretend that was because you’re hungry for me,” he teased.
That would hardly be pretending.
After another sweet kiss, they sat down to eat. Her heart was still going a little crazy. Sam lifted the lids from their dinners, unveiling a delicious meal of salmon, steamed vegetables, and baked potatoes.
They talked and ate, and Faith remembered to ask him if he’d made the donation to the group.
His fork stopped midair. “Yes. You wouldn’t take a donation directly, and I want to help.”
“But, Sam, you gave too much.”
“I don’t think there is such a thing.” He speared a piece of salmon and popped it into his mouth.
She had no idea how to play this game. Was it a game?
He set down his fork, sipped his wine, then took her hand again and moved his chair closer to hers.
“Faith, what good is success if I can’t use it to help others? You did. You started the whole program. That had to take time, energy, and money.”
“It did, but I did it because of what I’d gone through.”
“Why can’t you accept that I want to help?” His reaction was so visceral it compelled her to listen more carefully. “You told me that those women were in the group because of guys like me. I don’t cheat, and I think I’ve made that pretty clear, but even so, I want to help them. I can’t stand thinking about what Brittany or Hilary, or you or Vivian, or the other girls went through.”
She wanted to deny his sincerity, but she realized she was fighting against herself, against what she was afraid of, instead of taking Sam for his word, and that wasn’t fair to either of them.
“I’m sure you know Lira’s life is a bit of a mess right now, too,” he said, taking her by surprise that he knew about Lira’s situation. “I think we can help each other out.”
“Oh?” Hearing the curiosity in her voice made her realize that earlier today she might have responded with a sarcastic, I bet.
“She has a lot of office management experience, and I need someone to handle the admin work and help organize sponsors and coordinate things for the Rough Riders barbecue.”
Her eyes widened with hope. “You think you might be able to give her a job?”
“We’re talking about a long-distance trial run. We’ll see how it goes. If she’s as good as her experience indicates, she’s been underpaid for so long, and I’m not sure she realizes how much she’s really worth. But don’t worry. If it works out, she’d
be well taken care of at Rough Riders with full benefits.”
He’d already spoken to Lira about this? “You really do care.”
“Yes, I do. I was brought up to help others. I’ve done it all my life. I’m not sure why that’s so hard to believe.”
“Maybe because you didn’t go to the car wash intent on helping.” She arched a brow, and that earned her a sexy smile.
“You’re right, but that doesn’t take away from how strongly I feel about helping. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought.”
It was hard to admit what she wanted to say next, but after all he’d done for her tonight, and for the group, she owed him the truth—even if it was embarrassing.
“I was judging you by what I knew about you, Sam. I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair.”
“Then get to know me better. Find out who I really am.” He looked at her expectantly. “Go out with me, Faith.”
“We went over this. You don’t date, and—”
“And you don’t sleep around. I get it. I’m not asking you to sleep around. I’m making a change. I want to date you. I’ve spent my life avoiding anything remotely close to emotional connections, but I can’t avoid it with you. You’ve gotten under my skin, and I don’t want to ignore what I’m feeling.”
“You want to date only me? Sam, I can’t—”
Suddenly she was in his arms, their bodies colliding, his mouth capturing hers, kissing away her worries. He took the kiss deeper, as if he needed her to feel, to taste, how much he wanted her. He was holding her like she was already his, making her feel desired and sexy and incredibly safe again, softening her resolve.
“Sam,” she whispered, touching her stinging lips. She probably should be annoyed that he’d cut her off with a kiss, but she wasn’t in the least. She’d needed that kiss.
He held her face in his hands. The look in his eyes was pure, unadulterated possession, and unexpectedly, hope.
“Don’t overthink this.” His eyes bored into her. “Don’t pick it apart and put me into a box where I don’t belong. This is right. I know you feel it, too. You won’t go out with me unless I’m faithful to you, and I want that for you, for me. I want that with you. I want you, Faith. I don’t want my mouth on anyone else, and I sure as hell don’t want yours on some other guy.”
“You’re such a big risk, Sam. And I know that’s a horrible thing to say.” The honesty came without thought, and she couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out. “If you cheat on me, it will completely humiliate me, and I have to live and work here. I can’t just pick up and run from it.”
She paced, remembering how much it had hurt to catch her ex-boyfriend out with another girl, and weighed the risks of getting involved with Sam against the thrum of desire raging through her.
“I won’t hurt you,” he promised.
“I believe your intentions are sincere, but you might make a mistake. And my job, my life, everything is so good right now.” She continued pacing, too conflicted to look at him.
As if he knew she was fighting eye contact, he closed the gap between them, framed her face with his hands again, and forced her to look into his all-consuming gaze.
“I will never make the very poor choice of hurting you. Trust me, Faith, and I promise I won’t let you down. Have faith in me,” he whispered, and God help her, she wanted to. “I will not only make sure your life remains on solid ground, but I’ll make it better.”
“You’re quite a salesman. Full of promises.” Her words were teasing, but inside she was on the verge of jumping out of her safe little world and into the arms of the biggest risk she’d ever taken, and she didn’t want to have to claw for purchase. “I need complete transparency, Sam.”
“Crystal clear.” His unwavering confidence made her want to believe every word he said.
“Do you even know what that means?”
“I’m serially a non-committer, not an idiot.” He took her hand and led her to the railing overlooking the ocean, sliding his arm around her waist. She fit perfectly against his hard body, as if that spot were made just for her.
“What do you see when you look out there?” he asked.
“The reflection of the moon in the ocean. It’s peaceful.”
“It appears peaceful. But the minute you step foot in a boat, you’re in the hands of Mother Nature. She can batter you in the blink of an eye. For me it’s a risk worth taking, because I know I can handle anything she throws at me.”
He turned his attention, and his piercing stare, back to Faith.
“When you look at me, you’re afraid to step in the boat. But you don’t have to be. I know you can’t handle squalls or heavy winds, and I’d never risk losing the way you look at me in those moments when you see past my reputation. I see flashes of clarity, and in the next breath your eyes cloud over and you put your life jacket on. You don’t need a life jacket, Faith. I’ll keep you afloat.”
Everything he said struck her heart. No one could fake the depth of emotion she heard in his voice.
“Doesn’t it scare you, Sam, to suddenly want to commit to a girl like me? To someone so scared of being hurt?”
“Wanting to commit scares the shit out of me, but wanting to commit to you? Faith, you’re the only girl I want to commit to. It took me thirty years to figure that out.” His lips lifted in a warm smile.
“Don’t you want to be with someone who parties every night? Someone who’s wild, maybe brings another girl into the mix? Because I’ll never do that. I don’t share well.”
He looked up toward the sky, cursing under his breath, but not angry. It was more like he was admonishing himself. When his eyes met hers again, they were dead serious.
“I’m not ashamed of anything I’ve done in my past, Faith. Everything I did, every choice I made, every tryst, brought me to this moment. Those girls I hooked up with are not the kind of girls I’d want to call mine. Can’t you see what’s going on?”
See? She could barely breathe.
“I want to be with you. I want to feel what I feel right now, and more, and that’s only possible with you. You are the only woman who interests me, not anyone else. And if you think I’d ever share you with any other man or woman, you’re wrong. Most importantly, I don’t want you to worry that I’m with anyone else. Ever. I want you to know in your heart that I’ve given you my word. And my word is stronger than steel.”
His honesty shattered her vow to remain uninvolved. She drew in an uneven breath, wanting to be closer to him, wanting the confidence he portrayed to be real and true, and pushed aside her fears. Vivian would have her head on a platter, or worse, have his head on a platter, but Faith couldn’t live her life in fear of what might happen, and she couldn’t make decisions based on what others believed.
As she gazed into his eyes again she saw another layer of the man he was unveiling. Taking off his cover. And she liked that man very much.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” His eyes widened.
“Okay, yes, but—”
He picked her up and spun her around, kissing her fast and hard as she laughed.
“No buts,” he said.
“Sam.” Smiling, she wound her arms around his neck and he guided her legs around his waist. “I’m not easy.”
“No shit.” He kissed her again.
“I’m also jaded.”
He kissed her again, still smiling. “Good thing I’m patient.”
“If you hurt me, I’ll castrate you.”
“Baby, if I hurt you, then I deserve it.”
Faith couldn’t resist kissing him again, and as their mouths came together, she felt buffered from the world, safe and special in the eye of a hurricane.
Chapter Ten
SAM AWOKE TUESDAY morning feeling like he could tackle anything, which was a good thing, considering the workload on his desk. He texted Faith, then spent the morning getting his arms around his work at Rough Riders. Feeling more in control of his life than he had in years, he
made a solid dent in no time and then Skyped with Lira to bring her up to speed.
“The annual Rough Riders barbecue is a major event for us. Corporate sponsors provide equipment for our high-adventure tours. Sometimes they provide lodging, too, depending on where we’re going, with hopes that our clients will purchase their equipment in the future. We invite previous, current, and potential sponsors to the barbecue to secure their business. I guess it’s like wining and dining in the business world, but for outdoorsmen. We invite everyone. Just as we do with sponsors, we invite previous and current clients, as well as potential corporate clients we hope to reel in,” Sam explained. “It’s also a great opportunity for community building. So hopefully, if this all works out and you don’t quit before the event, you can come and meet the people you’ll be speaking with.”
“Oh, I’m not going to quit,” Lira said. “I’m excited to get started. But I have to admit, I didn’t realize there was such a big market for this type of thing in the corporate world.”
“Corporations are doing everything they can to keep their executives on board, and lavishing them with high-end adventures is quickly becoming a go-to bonus. We want Rough Riders to be the only company that comes to mind when they’re ready,” Sam explained. “You’ll be contacting previous and potential sponsors and clients who haven’t yet responded to the invitation to the event, as well as coordinating the mess of financial work I’ve left undone.”
Lira’s dark eyes widened with excitement. “I can’t wait to dive in. I looked over the documents you sent last night, and I’ve got a few good ideas of how to better organize the finances. I’ll put my thoughts on paper and send them over and get started on contacting people right away.”
“You sound as excited as I am to hand all this off.”
“I am. Thank you so much for this opportunity, Sam. And for allowing me to work from home for now. You can’t imagine how much this means to me. I won’t let you down.”
Based on her references, he had a feeling she was right.