by Ian Doescher
One thing remains, however, worthy friends:
There ship hath not not sufficient power to
Deliver us to Coruscant. It is
The hyperdrive, it leaketh out, like blood
From some deep wound within its metal core.
QUI-GON
We must make landing to repair, refuel.
No ship is shipshape sans a solid structure.
OBI-WAN
[consulting star charts:] Look, Master, here is found a planet near.
I have not heard its name: ’tis Tatooine.
’Tis small and poor, and far from ev’rything;
The Federation hath no presence there.
PANAKA
What confidence have you in this remark?
QUI-GON
The planet is controllèd by the Hutts.
PANAKA
The Hutts, indeed. Such lowly gangsters of
Base reputation, fill’d with avarice:
Their minds on money, money on their minds.
Such lowly, wormlike villainy as theirs
No royalty should e’er bear witness to,
Or forcèd be to find the strength t’endure.
O nay, ye Jedis, find another course:
Pray, let us not take her to Tatooine!
QUI-GON
E’en if they did discover her, ’twould be
No diff’rent than if our lame ship were bound
For any place the Federation holds.
Except, my friend: the Hutts expect her not,
Nor are they searching for the noble queen.
We do, then, have a strong advantage here—
Thus let us land, with hopefulness sincere.
[Exeunt.
SCENE 1.
Aboard the Trade Federation battleship.
Enter NUTE GUNRAY, RUNE HAAKO, and, in beam, DARTH SIDIOUS.
SIDIOUS
My patience runneth out, so tell me true:
Hath Amidala sign’d the treaty yet?
NUTE
My lord, with trepidation I report:
The queen hath disappear’d. There was one ship
From small Naboo escap’d our stout blockade.
SIDIOUS
That treaty shall be sign’d! I will it so.
NUTE
But ’tis impossible to find the ship.
It lies beyond our range of scope or measure.
Enter DARTH MAUL in beam with DARTH SIDIOUS.
SIDIOUS
For thy weak instruments, perhaps, but not,
I tell thee truly, Viceroy, for a Sith.
Behold my Sith apprentice: Darth Maul he.
Your lost ship shall be swiftly found by him.
[Exeunt Darth Sidious and Darth Maul from beam.
NUTE
Oft double is a thing that one would wish:
A double blessing is a boon, indeed,
A double meaning renders one word two,
A double-edgèd sword may cut both ways,
A double honor is a monarch’s gift.
But what is this when evil doubl’d is?
’Tis then that one hath trouble doubl’d, too.
RUNE
This deal is one that we should have declin’d,
For now we two are in a double bind.
[Exeunt.
SCENE 2.
Aboard the Naboo cruiser.
Enter QUI-GON JINN, OBI-WAN KENOBI, SABÉ dressed as Queen Amidala, CAPTAIN PANAKA, PADMÉ, and R2-D2.
PANAKA
The hero of our quick escape is here:
This little droid, so well and deftly made.
Sans doubt it sav’d the ship and our own lives.
SABÉ
The droid shall have my royal commendation.
What is the droidly number it doth bear?
PANAKA
’Tis R2-D2, Highness.
SABÉ
—All our thanks
And gratitude we bear to thee, good droid:
Thou brave and gallant R2-D2.
R2-D2
—Beep!
SABÉ
Pray, Padmé, clean this droid with all thy skill.
It is deserving of what kindness we
May proffer to it.
R2-D2
—Meep, beep, whistle, squeak!
[Padmé and R2-D2 move aside and she begins cleaning the droid.
SABÉ
Continue with thy briefing, Captain, please.
PANAKA
I call on Jedi Qui-Gon Jinn to speak.
QUI-GON
Your Highness, with permission we shall fly
Unto a planet small call’d Tatooine.
It lieth in a system far beyond
The Federation’s harsh and grasping reach.
PANAKA
The Jedi’s will and mine do not agree.
QUI-GON
I prithee, trust my judgment, Highness. Let
My wisdom make its proof by worthy deeds.
[Exeunt Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Sabé, and Captain Panaka.
Enter JAR JAR BINKS.
JAR JAR
Hello! Say whosa are-a yousa?
PADMÉ
I’m Padmé call’d, handmaiden to the queen.
JAR JAR
And meesa Jar Jar Binks, dass meesa.
PADMÉ
Thou art a Gungan, art thou not? ’Tis true?
JAR JAR
[aside:] O, she is swift of mind. “A Gungan,” ha!
Her thoughts already label me as brute.
PADMÉ
How didst thou come to be on board with us?
JAR JAR
[aside:] And wherefore doth she ask? A ship, belike,
Is no place for a Gungan to be found.
She would assume we lurk in swamp and mire,
Not in her precious folly-laden ship.
But soft you, Jar Jar, give the girl your best.
[To Padmé:] Ahh, me no know. Me daysa startin’
So okeeday with brisky mornin’
A’munchen. Den de boomy boomy,
And meesa scardee, grabbin’ Jedi,
Then powsa, meesa wit you heera.
Now meesa gettin’ very scardee.
PADMÉ
Indeed, this is a day for fear and doubt—
It seems your cause and mine are well align’d.
[Exeunt Jar Jar and Padmé.
Enter QUI-GON JINN, OBI-WAN KENOBI, CAPTAIN PANAKA, and RIC OLIÉ in cockpit.
RIC
’Tis there, below! The planet Tatooine.
OBI-WAN
Our scope doth show a settlement nearby.
QUI-GON
Land thou the ship beyond its boundary.
I would not seek more notice than we need.
[Exeunt Captain Panaka and Ric Olié.
OBI-WAN
The generator of the hyperdrive
Is done and finish’d, Master. We shall need
To make repair ere we depart from here.
QUI-GON
This is a complication to our plans.
And there is more: I pray, be on thy guard:
I sense a great disturbance in the Force.
OBI-WAN
I feel it also, Master. ’Tis as if
Some evil is arising in our midst.
QUI-GON
Be certain that they no transmissions make.
I shall go forth to find a hyperdrive
That shall suffice to make the ship’s repair.
Stay thou behind, her Highness to defend.
[Exit Qui-Gon.
OBI-WAN
Now wherefore am I left to watch the ship
When I too am a Jedi, just as he?
Nay, still my tongue—’tis not for me to guess
At my wise master’s thoughts, or criticize.
My master Qui-Gon is a pow’rful man
And hath been more than teacher unto me.
Full fortunate am I—and well I know’t—
To be the man�
�s apprentice. Many would
Consider such a post and master more
Than any Jedi should expect. Indeed,
To be with Qui-Gon is to be well serv’d
By the uncertain, fickle hand of Fate.
I shall be dutiful till he come back,
And keep the queen protected from attack.
[Exit.
SCENE 3.
On the planet Tatooine.
Enter QUI-GON JINN, JAR JAR BINKS, and R2-D2.
QUI-GON
Come, Jar Jar, let us find the settlement.
JAR JAR
Dis sun is murther for me skinnee.
Enter CAPTAIN PANAKA and PADMÉ.
PANAKA
Kind sirs, a word! The queen doth wish for you
To take her handmaiden along with you.
QUI-GON
No more commands shall we obey today;
Her Highness hath already had her fill.
The spaceport we make expedition t’ward
Is not some royal court: it shall be rife
With fearsome, base, and vicious characters.
It is no place to bring a handmaiden.
PANAKA
The queen desires it; curious is she
About this planet and what lies hereon.
QUI-GON
This is a course with which I disagree:
A queen’s desire’s not rationale enough.
[To Padmé:] Remain close at my side. I’ll see thee safe.
[Exit Captain Panaka as Qui-Gon, Padmé, Jar Jar, and R2-D2 walk toward the spaceport.
PADMÉ
What know you of this land, this Tatooine?
Who are its people, what is their employ?
QUI-GON
’Tis modest moisture farmers, in the main.
Some tribes indigenous, and scavengers.
The spaceports such as this are haven to
Those who aren’t lost, and yet would not be found.
PADMÉ
Indeed, your words describe our company.
JAR JAR
O dissen veree veree baddee.
QUI-GON
Let us seek out a smaller dealer here—
More likely shall we then be unobserv’d.
Enter WATTO.
WATTO
Oo ditta noya? Chuba di naya?
QUI-GON
Strange flying imp, I do require parts for
A J-type three-two-seven Nubian.
WATTO
Aye, Nubian, our strong specifically.
We have full many of those parts herein.
[To Anakin, within:] Peedunkel! Naba dee unko!
QUI-GON
—My droid
Doth carry all the details technical.
Enter ANAKIN SKYWALKER.
WATTO
[to Anakin:] Coona tee-tocky malia, peedunk’?
ANAKIN
Mel tassa cholpassa. [Aside:] My master asks
What kept me, yet did I not come anon?
WATTO
Chut! Ganda doe wallya. Me dwana n’bat’.
[To Qui-Gon:] The boy shall watch the store, whilst we discourse
Your needs—belike the part outside awaits.
I prithee, thither come with me, my friend.
QUI-GON
[to Jar Jar:] Thou fool: touch nothing, lest thou mischief make.
[Qui-Gon and Watto walk aside.
ANAKIN
[aside:] Though I am young, and burden’d by the shine
Of too much sunlight here on Tatooine,
Still I can tell the presence of a light
Far brighter than e’er I dream’d possible.
O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright!
[To Padmé:] Excuse me this intrusion, madam, but:
Are you by some celestial body sent?
Did you make home beyond the galaxy,
Whence you did come to bless my little life?
PADMÉ
What didst thou say?
ANAKIN
—Are you celesti’lly born?
Those pilots who do wander deep in space
Do tell of beings pure and undefil’d:
Such beauty’s in their aspect and their song
That all who hear their music ’gin to weep
And long to be forever in the sway
Of their most splendid, perfect melody.
Methinks they live upon the moon Iego,
And there they play their notes for all who pass.
PADMÉ
Thou art a droll, audacious little boy.
How comes this knowledge from such youthful lips?
ANAKIN
I do but listen: train my ear toward
The traders and the pilots who traverse
This lonely planet. Truly, I do call
Myself a pilot, too, and shall one day
Fly far beyond this planet’s stifling reach.
PADMÉ
Thou art a pilot?
ANAKIN
—Troth, for all the days
I have upon this barren planet dwell’d.
PADMÉ
What is the number of those days thereon?
ANAKIN
O, since I was a lad of but three years.
My mother and myself were peddl’d to
Gardulla of the Hutt, who did but lose
Her new investment gambling o’er the pods.
PADMÉ
Thou art a slave?
ANAKIN
—O appellation dire!
Pray, when you think of me think not of slave.
Think not that I am baseborn, made to work,
Think not of one who lives by harsh commands,
Think not of one whose destiny’s controll’d,
Think rather of my worthy qualities,
Think of my name, good lady: Anakin.
PADMÉ
And so I shall, hereafter. Pardon me,
For I do not full understanding have
Of this strange place, which is still new to me.
[Jar Jar touches a small droid, which begins to walk around and break things. Jar Jar seizes the droid.
ANAKIN
O silly beast, strike it upon the nose!
[Jar Jar touches the small droid’s nose, and it collapses.
WATTO
[aside with Qui-Gon:] The generator for the hyperdrive
For your T-14 … ahh, methinks ’tis close!
Fate smiles on you today: I am, nearby,
The sole possessive of the needed part.
You would do well to purchase some new ship,
For mayhap ’twould be cheaper so to do.
And since we do of money start to speak,
How shall you pay for this extensive part?
QUI-GON
I have some twenty thousand in my store—
Dactaries, the Republic’s tender true.
WATTO
Republic credits? You are misaligned:
On Tatooine your credits are no use.
QUI-GON
[attempting a Jedi mind trick:] I’ve nothing else, but credits shall suffice.
WATTO
Nay, they shall not.
QUI-GON
—Aye, credits shall suffice.
WATTO
Do you not compromise? Do you believe
Yourself to be a Jedi, who, with but
A wave of your sly hand, may change my mind?
I am Toydarian, and proudly so;
Your mind decapitations touch not me,
’Tis only money moves my cunning mind.
No currency is but no parts, no parts
Is but no deal, no deal is noisome; thus,
I shall depart unsatisfi’d from thee.
And more, no other merchant can provide
The hyperdrive for your fail’d T-14.
Of that, good man, I give you conflagration.
[Qui-Gon turns to leave, walking back toward Jar Jar, Padmé, and Anakin.
ANAKIN
[to Padmé:] These droids enjoy more life than they are due,
Which is—to speak my strength—due to my skill.
QUI-GON
We must depart. If’t please you, follow on.
ANAKIN
[aside:] So quickly met and then so quickly lost?
PADMÉ
’Twas well that I did meet thee, Anakin.
ANAKIN
The joy was mine, good lady, fare you well.
[Aside:] O, we must meet again, else my heart’s lost!
[Exeunt Watto and Anakin.
QUI-GON
[into communicator:] Good Obi-Wan, I bid thee, hear my words:
Doth our small ship have aught of value in’t?
Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI on balcony, in ship.
OBI-WAN
We have some few containers with supplies.
The queen’s exquisite wardrobe, mayhap, yet
’Tis not so much as would a barter serve,
Not if you do require a handsome sum.
QUI-GON
’Tis well enough. A different result
May from another quarter come. Adieu.
[Exit Obi-Wan.
JAR JAR
Nowotha. Beings here cawayzee.
Now weesa will be robb’d and crunchee.
R2-D2
Beep, meep, beep, squeak! [Aside:] I’ll warrant
Jar Jar hath
More in his Gungan head than it doth seem.
QUI-GON
It is unlikely—sure, what would they rob?
We have no assets: trouble’s all we own.
JAR JAR
[aside:] I shall make some distraction for us here,