I gave a smug look to Reid as ze started to turn down the steps down to the station and I pulled her after Robert to the little gate we were so familiar with. As Bobby opened the gate for us, I explained, “Not 'that' kind of train."
I nudged my chin back at the ladies and said smugly, “The wandering steampunk princess spirit who haunts these parts...”
Reid's eyes went even wider, the blues shining brightly in recognition as ze looked back at Bea. Ze blurted to her, “That's why you looked so bloody familiar to me when we first met today.”
We got some familiar questions from hir, as they were our same questions when we first learned of the Duchess of Gloucester ourselves. Like, “Do you live in Parkland Walk?," or, “You live in an abandoned overland station? " as we stepped into the clearing.
Now I knew how much fun Bea and Meli had when we had asked the same. We just answered cryptically until we entered the maintenance building behind the station and beheld the majesty of old Number 6225 in all her glory under the overhead lights.
I relished the gasp which escaped Reid's deliciously feminine lips.
Meli clacked past us with a grin on her face, her girl in tow as she said offhandedly to Reid as they moved past, “Welcome to our flat.”
Ze shook my hand excitedly and moved toward the fully restored red and gold streamliner locomotive and her cars. It was a steampunk or art deco aficionado's living wet dream. Reid giggled in glee as ze looked on, while Bobby used some of his boundless energy to run to the back executive luxury coach and hop up and dangle from a vertical handrail.
I inhaled the smell of steel, grease, and coal. I love this train.
I squeaked when Bea lifted me by the waist up to the entry platform at the door of the luxury coach, right after she did the same to Melinda. I started chuckling when Reid's squeak followed mine. Beatrice was having far too much fun with all of us shorties.
Meli had already headed inside since Bobby had swung over from his position like a monkey to hold the door open for all of us. I was mesmerized by the look of complete amazement on my gul's face as ze took in the train before heading inside as I held an ushering hand out.
I grinned at the familiar gasp of someone seeing the interior of the luxury executive coach for the first time. It was basically Bea and Meli's living room and kitchen. Their bedroom was in the next car, the sleeper. That's where Robert and I were staying for the next couple weeks. We each had our own private cabin.
I moved in behind hir as Bea and Bobby slipped past us, and I watched as she took in the space that looked like it had stepped out of the roaring twenties. From the two small couches and two wingback chairs which were arranged around a low chestnut colored table on a rich looking area rug to the kitchen area on one side. With its rich cabinetry and exposed brass pipes heading down to a small sink. It was like a prop straight out of a steampunk novel, with a Victorian flair.
Did I mention I love this train?
Finally, Reid found hir voice and said in that delicious alto of hirs, “It's simply amazing." Then ze turned to look between Bea and Meli, “You live here?"
Bea nodded with a certain pride behind it that I understood. This train was her life's work, her pride and joy, and a way to honor her grandfather who had been the engineer of the Duchess of Gloucester when she first ran the rails.
Melinda said, “Tina, why don't you show Reid around while I start supper early. We can get that out of the way before your mum arrives.”
She knew better than that. Just like at the Deidre, I had claimed the kitchen here on the Duchess when we were dropped off to stay. I reluctantly left Reid's side as I countered, “How about you show hir around your home while I whip up something for everyone. I don't need you messing up my kitchen." It was mostly true, but I also wanted them to get to know the amazing person that was my gulfriend without me standing over everyone and making things awkward like a clingy girlfriend.
Bea snorted, Meli chuckled, and I shook a finger at them. “Yes, my kitchen. Unless my cooking is not up to your sophisticated pallets." Bea held her hands up in humorous surrender as I muttered loud enough for all to hear as I shook my head in distaste, “Drinking out of bottles and cooking from cans like savages...”
I had to grin at Meli's explosive giggle behind me. Then she said as I started pulling out some fresh greens from the icebox, “It appears I'm to be your tour guide tonight young sir... or... I mean...”
Reid's, “Brill!" put her at ease. I smiled from where I was pulling out some beef to start mixing with some breadcrumbs and an egg for some quick meatballs.
The imp looped an arm in Meli's as the tour started. I caught the knowing look Bea had given me before I turned back to the task at hand, washing my hands in the little sink. Yeah yeah, she knew what I was doing. I wanted my fiends and family to like my gulfriend.
I absently listened to the lecture from Melinda as I prepped our meal. She sounded like a professor giving an excited lecture on the history of the Duchess. I loved her enthusiasm and again marveled how she and Beatrice were a perfect match for one another, their mutual steampunk obsession aside.
I realized I was also keeping myself busy by taking on the cooking so my mind wouldn't remind me of mum's impending visit. I could feel my anxiety surging and unwanted memories threatening to be released and crash over me like an unstoppable wave.
That realization also caused my anger to rise. I had to remind myself that there were plenty of happy memories in our lives, though our minds, not by choice, dwell upon the things that hurt us, as they are burned into our own sense of survival. So our reticence to see mother is more that we don’t want to be reminded of the bad things that occurred in that house we grew up in.
I know it wasn't fair of me to associate it with her. She wasn't the one who perpetrated those acts, it was our father, and she was a victim too. But, she was our mum, she was supposed to protect us. We almost lost Lenore for good because of it. And now mum has lost all three of us.
Feck me sideways, I was a neurotic mess. Fat lot of good my attempt to sidetrack my mind was doing.
I looked down to where I was violently kneading the egg and breadcrumbs into the beef as the oven got up to temperature. I exhaled and then looked up to see Meli taking Reid out to see the sleeper car, Bobby in tow. That made me smile.
I exhaled long and hard, getting the poisonous thoughts out of my mind and almost jumped when a large hand was placed on my shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. I looked over my shoulder into Bea's intelligent eyes that looked as if they were seeing right into my soul.
She said volumes with the understanding look. Bea shared this incredible empathy and understanding with people that I found uncanny since from what I hear, she had an incredible childhood with loving parents.
She cocked her head almost imperceptibly, and I said, “Yeah. Thanks, I'm fine." I patted her hand, and I cued in on some other micro expression I can consciously say I could identify. I nodded and said, “Yeah, yeah, ok. I'll listen when she's here." Then I added as she removed her powerful hand from my shoulder, “No need to lecture.”
She chuckled at that, and I could easily see how Melinda had such in-depth conversations with the woman without Beatrice having to verbalize much. She may be selectively mute by choice, but that didn't mean she didn't say more with just a single expression than most people could say in an entire discussion.
I was sliding the baking pan into the oven as the others returned. Melinda asked as she sat on her favorite couch, motioning for Reid to sit across from her, “What did we miss?”
I said off handedly as I started to saute the fresh string beans in butter with a bit of diced onion in the skillet, “Bea was just being a chatty Cathy.”
Meli nodded. “Sometimes it is all you can do just to shut that one up." She gave Bea a peck on the lips when she joined her on the couch.
Bobby came over to see what he could pilfer food-wise while the meal cooked. I slapped his fingers away when he stole a green bean. I
swear, teenagers can eat their weight in food each day. Oh lord, I've become mum.
Reid was cocking a well-shaped eyebrow dubiously at us. I said, “What? You don't believe us? Take a look at her now and then try to disagree.”
My redhead glanced over at Bea then did a double take. The Amazonian blonde had been evaluating, categorizing, and judging my snuggly companion with that slightly cocked eyebrow of hers. Meli nudged her ribs. “For fuck's sake, Bea. You're making poor Reid nervous.”
I had to grin. It was rare for Melinda to curse like that. But when she did, it had a comedic effect. Bobby cleared his throat as he put the old coffee tin in front of Melinda on the table with a clink of coins. She opened her mouth to curse on instinct but held her tongue to the amusement of us all. She grabbed her bag and dug around in it. She shrugged at Bob with a victorious grin as she held up a fiver. “Sorry Bobby, all I have is five quid.”
Before she could blink, he snatched it from her fingers and dropped it into the swear tin. He shrugged and said, “House rules are house rules.”
She growled in amusement, “Bloody hell. Then I get four more.”
Bea shook her head and held up three fingers as the rest of us laughed. The swear can tin set up mostly to help my sister curb her propensity for her colorful triads of profanity laced epitaphs toward McGrath when they visited. It was a match to the tins we used on the Deidre and Paya had on the Persephone.
Lenore single handedly fueled the snack purchases for the Thursday Night get togethers at Tabitha's Water Witch each week when she wasn't out on tour.
To our amusement Meli almost cursed again, but was able to stop the never-ending cycle with a grin.
I listened to their banter and Bobby explaining to Melinda about how Reid wasn't a bloke, nor bird. And to use gender neutral pronouns. He completely botched it but I had to grin at his attempt.
Reid was shaking hir head with a crooked grin then looked back at me. “I take it this is going to go on for days according to how big your extended family is."
I nodded in apology but then smiled at our conversations about my unorthodox family, and it was certainly huge and growing.
Ze said to Meli in earnest, “Really, anything is fine. I'll let you know if I'm feeling uncomfortable.”
When the meal was ready, pan fried spaghetti, meatballs in marinara, and sauteed greens, I called them all to the kitchen space. I blushed profusely when I got a hug and kiss on my forehead from the ever sexy Reid.
We used the fold down buffet table that was normally tucked against the wall, disguised by the attached wine cart, and Bobby pulled out the folding chairs from the little cabinet beside it. Usually, we just ate in the sitting area, but I think Meli was trying to set a good example for my gul.
I noted the conversation was steered by Melinda and Reid away from current events and I caught Bea noticing both Robert and I repeatedly glancing at the door. They were all exerting a valiant effort in their attempt to keep our anxiety from eating us alive.
Then when Bea stood and started bringing dishes to the kitchen to start cleaning up, that signaled the weight that was sitting in my chest like a stone, to triple in size. It was time. I checked my mobile. Sure enough, mum would be arriving at the station in about fifteen minutes. Just enough time for me to go retrieve her.
I exhaled audibly and centered myself then said, “Right then, I'll go meet mum. Back in a flash.”
Melinda offered, “You want Bea or me to come?"
Reid moved over to me as I shook my head. “No." Then I looked at Reid who had a determined look on hir face. “Stay here with the others." Then I smirked. “Help them clean up the carnage from supper. I cooked, you all clean.”
Meli grumbled to her girl as she took some dishes to the sink, “I'm beginning to think that she cooks just to get out of this part."
Bea nodded sagely.
I gave Bobby a reassuring look as he busied himself cleaning up. I knew he didn't want to be the one to get mum. He'd cave and forgive her in a minute, just like he said yes when she asked to meet.
I shook a finger at him as I snagged one of the rechargeable torches Bea kept near the door, “Hands to yourself.”
This coaxed a smile from him I was shooting for. He grumbled like a kid so only I could hear as he passed me, “I don't have a crush on Reid." His blush told me otherwise. I was happy I got his mind of what was about to come.
I smiled sheepishly and then headed to the door, giving one last glance at all the eyes on me before dashing out and heading back toward Highland Station.
I tried pulling up all the happy memories of my childhood as I trudged the paths through the Parkland. Then I hesitated at the iron gate as I saw my mum standing across from the stairs of the station by the family car, checking her watch and looking at least as nervous as I felt.
I took a moment to look her over as she trained her eyes on the tube station. She still had that look about her, not comfortable in her own skin, looking meek. That look we all had when we were expecting dad home and wondering if we'd be ok or if he'd show up at the door drunk off his ass and the abuse would begin anew.
But... we had all escaped that. She didn't need to feel that ever again. Was I making her feel that way? That thought made me throw aside my anger and disappointment in her for the moment, as I found myself quickly stepping through the gate and onto the walk. I didn't ever want to be the reason for someone to have that look.
I stepped to the edge of the lane, taking her in. She had the curly hair of us Elgin girls, though hers was much more tightly spun like Lenore's, and was shot through with grey. I saw so much of my sister in her and could imagine Lenny wouldn't look much different than mum when she reached middle age.
She was still pretty, and looking vulnerable to the world, is that why she had become a victim? She was dressed in her best dress, which fell to her knees in pleats. The one she wore to Sunday service. Was she trying to impress us? Was she really that nervous and unsure?
Then she saw me, her eyes locking on mine as her hand covered her mouth. She said my name across the lane, “Christine," and I had to stop myself from sprinting across and engulfing her in a hug.
Instead, I just nodded and walked across to her, stopping in front of her. “Mum.”
Chapter 10 – Reunion
We stood there, taking each other's measure as I fought my eyes which were trying to water. I said, “Robert said you wanted to talk.”
She nodded and finally dropped her hand from her mouth. “I did.”
I don't know why I pushed, but I found my traitorous mouth asking with an accusatory tone to it, “Coincidence you called when Lenore was out of the country?" I already knew the answer.
She shook her head and said in resignation, “It is not.”
My mouth kept moving of its own accord, I don't know why I was provoking her. “You weren't at her wedding." I was going to have to have a stern talk with my mouth after all of this business was over, it was always just running off without permission.
She didn't even try to make excuses she just looked down at her hand and rubbed her empty ring finger. “I was not."
I noted that even after all this time, there was still an indent on her finger where her wedding ring had sat for near twenty years.
I found myself saying, “She'd have liked if you had.”
She shook her head slowly. “No. You don't know what she did for you and Robert when I was supposed to be the one protecting you. You just got part of it... at the end. It was better I didn't remind her of that on her happy day.”
I snorted. “No. You're afraid of her.”
She nodded slowly, searching my eyes, the hurt in hers making me want to just forget my anger and hug her. “I suppose." Then she looked around quickly. “Where's Bobby? Why are we meeting at a tube station?”
I exhaled then finally looked away from her and toward the gate. “We're staying with friends until Lenny and Hunter get back. Come on, Bobby is dying to see you.”
&n
bsp; This seemed to chase away the gloom and doom that followed her like a cloud. I pulled the torch I had brought, out of my pocket, as the sun had already set. I switched it on as we arrived at the gate, where mum was looking around the station entrance for Bob.
I said, “This way, mum.”
She looked at the gate then me as I pushed it open them lit up the path for her to step through, then I followed after her. She was quiet most of the walk there, and I didn't know what to do or say. It was surreal how awkward I felt around my own mother, and I hated the feeling.
Finally, we arrived at the overland station, mum looked at the dilapidated structure with all its windows broken out, and the trees and undergrowth that were cracking the platform, trying to reclaim it. I shone the light on the maintenance building beyond it, which was in good repair and said, “We're staying in a train, just in there.”
She hesitated. “You're living on a boat with that McGrath person, and now a train? Robert should be in a proper flat, not living like a... like a common hobo."
It stung that she said Robert and not included me, but I guess she saw me as an adult now, like Len.
I chuckled and asked, “How do you envision the way we are living? If you saw the Deidre, you'd marvel at it. It is finer than any flat we could ever hope to live in. Lenore and Hunter would never have us there if it were like living rough in any way. Hell, it's feckin' nicer than our old home.”
I shut my mouth quickly when she chastised just as fast, “Tina, language. And... Irish?" Then I remembered I was an adult, but still, it wasn't polite of me, McGrath certainly has rubbed off on us. I grinned that she was a little put off by the fact it was an Irish profanity.
I started to get an uneasy feeling when I thought about her words, about Robert being in a proper flat. Was she implying that he should be living in one with her? Was she... she didn't want to take Bobby away from us since he was still a minor, did she? But Lenny and Hunter have all the guardianship papers, mum signed them herself.
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