When Colour Became Grey

by A Lorenzen

  The summer was in full force and the temperatures high during the day. Blake often forced me to work out under the blazing sun. He wanted me to get used to unfavourable circumstances, since the council would usually create unusual environmental circumstances to increase the adversity I would be facing.

  Ben and I texted every now and again and he was very keen on meeting up with me, but after my incident with Vladimir, I was nervous around men I didn’t know. Even if he was dead now, there were predominantly male ghosts in this world and some, undoubtedly, would have the same ideas as Vladimir.

  The fact that Ben had left his recruit out to die did nothing in his favour. Still, I had trouble believing he would do such a thing. Vladimir had shown his true intentions pretty quickly after meeting him for the first time. Ben had always been friendly and charming. I couldn’t imagine Ben purposefully endangering anyone. But then again, I hardly knew him. I wanted him to be a good guy. No matter how much I turned and twisted the story, it came back to the same result; Ben was on my mind and I wanted to get to know him.

  The sheer brutality those vampires had shown Ben’s recruit weighed on me as well. To think that there were creatures out there capable of much worse than molochs, sent shivers down my spine. Molochs were just primitive beings, but vampires had to be able to think to want to torture someone. They had to be much more intelligent than molochs. Suddenly, I wasn’t so afraid of molochs anymore. Vampires were the real evil. They were not those poor tortured souls portrayed in some romantic story of forbidden love that somehow always ended well.

  Kim had been busy after our last night out. Dominic was on her more than ever to keep their numbers up.

  Blake continued pushing me and was harsher than ever. His constant remarks about my performance fuelled my sense of self-preservation. Blake forced me to go out at night to hunt molochs. On several occasions he had to swoop in and stop the molochs from killing me.

  He taught me more and more combat skills and I was fighting him physically more and more intensely. It was frustrating not being able to defeat him, even though I knew he had trained for decades before I came into this world. I couldn’t help but be reminded of my inferiority against all men.

  * * *

  It had been another hot day. The air in the house was suffocating; the sun had shone into the windows all day trying to bake us inside.

  Blake had just ended our training session. ‘Don’t beat yourself up. It will be a long time before you can defeat me. If you keep training this hard, it will be sooner rather than later.’

  Blake took a towel and patted his sweat-covered body.

  ‘Why do I even need to defeat you? As far as I know only ghosts fight like this,’ I contested, annoyed at myself more than anything.

  ‘Vampires fight like this,’ Blake stated dryly.

  I froze. ‘Let’s keep going.’

  I threw my towel into the corner and got into a defensive position.

  Blake chuckled. ‘I’m pleased with your eagerness. But we have done enough for today.’

  I opened my mouth to object. Blake’s phone intercepted my attempt. As soon as he answered the phone, the happy Blake disappeared and the concerned one replaced him. He kept his eyes on me while debating on the phone.

  ‘Now? … In a snowstorm?! … - yes, I know… fine. I’ll prepare her.’

  Blake hung up and looked very serious when his eyes met mine. ‘It’s time for your test.’

  My nervousness bubbled in my stomach. I had just fought with Blake for hours and I was drained. Blake looked at me, his blue eyes piercing through me. My legs started quivering.

  ‘What happens now?’ I asked in a hushed tone.

  An uneasy feeling spread in my stomach, warning me of something I would not like.

  Blake went to the kitchen and came back with a pill and a glass of water in his hands. ‘This will sedate you. When you wake up, your test begins.’

  I quickly washed down the pill, trying not to think about it. This was it. It would happen now. The moment I had waited for so long.

  ‘Are you sure I’m ready?’ I could feel my speech slurring, my brain slowing down. That thing was powerful!

  ‘Remember what I taught you, ok? And beware of traps.’ Blake’s voice accompanied me into the darkness. I could not feel my legs anymore; the warm black cloak draped itself around me and took me into unconsciousness…

  I awoke to strange squeaking noises. I was lying on cold concrete. It was wet and vague shapes moved around me. When I pushed myself up to a sitting position the squeaking got louder and the movements accelerated. Water dripped down on my head. Everything smelled of damp and mould. There was barely any light.

  As my eyes adjusted, I saw the rats running around me. In one quick motion I drew my legs closer and they darted off squealing. I was in a small dark space. The faint shaft of light came from my right. Leaning towards it, I saw the light emanated through the cracks of an old wooden door. The stony ceiling was low and I had to stay crouched on my knees. I peered through the cracks of the door trying to get a sense of where I was. A rat ran over my leg and I jumped up in surprise, bumping against the door, making it rattle loudly. I froze and listened, waiting for any response from beyond the door. But it stayed quiet.

  I swung the door open, crawled out, and closed it again before the stinking rats could follow. There were a few bare light bulbs hanging from the ceiling, giving scarcely any light. The air was cold, wet, and heavy. An unpleasant smell lingered making me wriggle my nose.

  My hand instinctively reached to my belt; no gun. Of course not. That would have been too easy. There was something in my back pocket, though: a folded piece of paper with a map drawn on it. I must have sat in a wet spot because part of the map was deformed and erased by a watermark.

  There were two crosses on the map, presumably where I was and where I had to go. The one on the bottom right corner had to be where I was; there was a rat drawn next to it. A thin pencil line went straight up until it stopped in a mass of small dots making it look almost like a dandelion. Another line led out to the left and over some sort of bridge. Something was drawn on top of the bridge that looked to be a lamp. The line continued to the right along a river that was drawn right across the page. The line turned left next to the drawing of an eye. The end cross was clearly in a building with a roman numeral two next to it. On the right of that building was a fish.

  I couldn’t figure the whole thing out, but at least I had a few clues.

  I commenced walking down the brick-layered hall and hoped that was the direction of the line on the map. Though it was dead silent around me, I walked as quietly as I could. There would surely be molochs hiding in the shadows of this tunnel system, leering at me, ready to pounce.

  Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust and spider webs. I spotted hairy spiders as big as my hand and had to force myself not to shriek or jump.

  Walking in the dead silence made me shiver. The cold clung on to me, cooling me to my very core. A few hours ago, I had been roasted by the sun, now it was freezing. I began wondering if that was the test, surviving in the cold, barely clothed.

  I came to a point where the corridor parted. To my right I heard hissing and yapping. It was too dark to see anything. And I was unarmed.

  I crept further, as quickly as I could, and as silently as possible. The sparse light faded completely and in the darkness I crashed into a metal door. The sound echoed loudly and I could hear the pleased molochs behind me somewhere hissing in response. My hands slid along the door and grasped a thick handle covered in cobwebs. I managed to pull the door inwards and light flooded the passageway. A gust of wind blew snow through the door.

  Snow! The clustered dots on the map! I had to be on the right path! But damn, snow! It was the middle of the summer! How did the council do this?!

  I struggled to pull the door further open, but it wouldn’t budge. There was a thick chain holding it in place.

  The sound of approaching molochs ampli
fied. I frantically searched around for anything that could help me get the chain off. I opened the door as far as I could and slid my shoulder and head through the gap. Snow bombarded my face, forcing me to squint. I sucked in my chest and stretched as much as I could. They were close. I squeezed my right leg through, trying to pull through the rest of my body.

  Harder and harder I pushed, the terrible wind whipping snowflakes into my face. My ribs felt like they would shatter and collapse under the pressure from the door. Looking back into the pitch-black tunnel, I could now see the terrible glowing eyes of the approaching molochs.

  I tried to pull myself out of the door jam. If this was the end, I wanted to go down fighting. But I was just as stuck as ever. Damn!

  Then I felt a stabbing pain in my leg; one of the molochs had reached me. I kicked my leg around, trying to lose it. Its teeth were deep in my flesh and its weight slowing down my thrashing. There was only one way out; I placed my hands on either side of the freezing door and started pulling myself out as hard as possible. The monster was still tightly gripping my leg. Another one jumped on top of my leg and bit me in my upper thigh. Their combined weight made me drop onto my knees.

  With one last pull I finally popped out, scraping the two off my leg and falling to the ground into the deep white snow. I had no time to breathe. The molochs slammed into the door, closing it momentarily. They would fit through the opening easily if they figured out how to open the door. I jumped to my feet and ran to the left like the map had told me. My left leg hurt with each step I took but I had to keep going.

  There was snow everywhere. I couldn’t see more than a few feet in front of me and had no idea where I was. The wind howled, completely drowning out any other sound.

  I stumbled and fell. Or so I thought. I looked down to see a moloch tearing at my jeans to get a grip on my tender skin. I kicked it away and fumbled with my numb fingers through the snow, but there was nothing to help me fight it off. As the moloch circled back for another attack, I swung myself up onto my feet just as it launched against me, pulling me right back onto the wet cold snow. Its teeth grazed my left arm as I smacked it across the jaw. While it was dazed, I threw myself on top if it and smashed its head repeatedly into the ground until it stopped struggling.

  I got to my feet and continued limping on, the poison now spreading.

  A line of buildings appeared on my left. I slowed down and looked for a way in. My extremities were freezing and my head was growing foggy from the onset of hypothermia. My left leg and arm were burning from moloch poison.

  All the doors were locked. Something grabbed me from behind. I swirled around, my hands protecting my face. It was another one. I punched its face with a right hook. It ran away screeching and was out of sight as quickly as it had appeared. I kept an eye on the perimeter in case it decided to try again, but the snowstorm made it impossible to see anything but distant grey shadows of buildings.

  The cold was unbearable. The wind was tearing at my skin, hammering the snow onto my body. Desperately, I continued my search for an open door. My fingers were frozen solid; I wasn’t sure they were capable of opening a door.

  The next building in the row was a clothing shop. The front door was made of… glass! Without any other way to break the glass, I put my back to the window and used my left elbow. It took me several tries before I finally cracked the glass. A piece of glass got stuck in my skin when I punched through it. I unlocked the door and opened it with my right hand and let myself in. The heating was off but it was still warmer here than outside in the storm. I bent my elbow up to my eyes to inspect it. The piece of glass was lodged above my elbow in my upper arm. Carefully, I pulled it out. Blood poured out of it. Trying to hold the blood in with my hand I went towards the counter at the back. There had to be a medical kit somewhere.

  Behind the counter were folders and loose papers. When I pulled those out, I found a medical kit stashed away behind a box of brown wrapping paper. I laid it out on the counter and started disinfecting my bleeding arm. With sweaty and blood-covered hands I laid a pad onto it and laid my arm across the counter to hold it in place. I used my free right hand to pull out a bandage and held one end between my teeth while I clumsily wrapping the wound up with my free hand, using the counter to put pressure on the wound as much as possible. When I was done, it looked quite amateurish, but I hoped it was enough to stop the bleeding.

  I sprayed disinfectant on the bite wounds from the molochs, but doubted it would have any effect. Once I was done, I could feel the tiredness pulling me slowly into its arms.

  With a blinding headache and trembling limbs, I barricaded the door using a desk from the back office and a few display racks. I had built such a huge mountain in front of the door I doubted I would even be able to get out again.

  I put on two sweaters and two jackets and covered my legs with heavy coats. With my back against the wall, hiding behind the counter, out of sight from the street, I sank to the ground. My teeth clattered and my body trembled uncontrollably. Eventually, I calmed down and an overpowering drowsiness pulled me into a deep sleep.

  My face was cold. But the rest of my body was pleasantly warm. I stretched my legs and bumped into the back of the counter. The mountain of coats avalanched off me, landing with a dull thump on the ground. The door was still barricaded. Outside the storm had calmed to a slow snowfall. Reluctantly, I left my comfortable cocoon. I pulled the sweater up and inspected my elbow. The bandages were soaked in blood, but I didn’t have enough clean ones to restart. I used the leftovers and covered the bloody ones up as best as I could. The smell would attract unwanted attention.

  I rearranged the newly acquired thick sweater and heavy jacket, threw on a pair of large sweatpants above my ripped jeans and approached the door.

  It was night. The streetlights were on, giving a gloomy orange colour to the outside world. I padded for the map in my back pocket, but it wasn’t there. When I checked all my pockets, I realized I didn’t have it on me anymore. It must have slipped out while I was trying to fit through that metal door… or fighting off the molochs…

  I had remembered it somewhat in my head. There was something about a bridge, an eye and then something with a number and a fish.

  I stepped outside into winter wonderland. With the heavy jacket draped over my body, the temperature didn’t seem unbearable anymore. It was dead quiet.

  Was I still on Idolon? How could it be winter when I knew we were in August.

  I looked back the way I had come; there were no bridges anywhere in sight. I hadn’t accidentally passed it as I escaped the monsters. Forcing my way through the thick white cover, I continued down the orange-gleaming street.

  After fighting my way through miles in the thick snow, two bridges appeared in the distance. One thin and high to my left and a broad battered one to my right. Which was the right one? I scrutinized the details of the bridges. Both were broad enough for cars and pedestrians to pass on, a flag on both sides, streetlights on top of them… I took a closer look at the lights. The map had specifically included the lights; they must be a clue. Both had five, all of them working. How would I know which one to take?

  I stood in the snow, looking back and forth between the two bridges, undecided. Then I saw a flicker. One of the lights on the thinner bridge was flickering. It was the one on the top of the bridge, at the highest point.

  A smile crossed my frozen face. I hurried over the bridge and turned right to walk along the river. The snow was not so deep here.

  I kept a lookout for the ‘eye’ from the map. On the left side of the street were small houses pressed together. They puffed thin clouds of smoke from their chimneys. How warm and cosy it must be inside them… I imagined all the families sleeping inside, no cares on their minds. At the same time, I knew if I ran into the houses, I would find them empty, unable to see the humans peacefully sleeping.

  When I was human, I had loved Christmas; all the present buying and wrapping, making people happy, baking cookies fo
r my family, hanging out with my friends drinking Glühwein at the Christmas market, and telling Liam fairy tales about Santa and Rudolph…

  I slammed into something and was painfully torn from my dreams. Now free of snow from my collision with it, I recognized a park meter.

  I continued my walk, my hands inside the jacket pockets trying to rub some heat into them. The snowing had ceased, the silence still prevailed. Christmas lights illuminated the streets around me. It looked so magical. If I was not a ghost, if I was not trying to pass this stupid test, if I had not died, I could be happy. Even the cold would be tolerable.

  It all reminded me how much I had lost; the feel of the sun on my skin, the taste of food… But, the coldness of winter was still there. It was like a cruel joke, laughing at me, making fun of my misery, torturing me with my remaining senses.

  A shiver went down my spine. I had to keep moving; reminiscing like this slowed me down and made me stop paying attention to my surroundings.

  As if they had heard my thoughts; two molochs appeared to my left, their heads sticking out of an open manhole. The smell of the sewers made my eyes water.

  I looked around for anything to use as a weapon, but I was once again out of luck. One of them was missing an ear, while the other one had a gash across its skull. They approached me head-on. The one missing the ear leapt at me first; I punched it in the face, but it still managed to claw at my arm. The second jumped up. I ducked and swerved away just in time. It crashed into a bench behind me. I slammed my foot onto the body of the missing ear one several times until the scarred one ran towards me, reaching my upper right leg and digging its claws into it. I pulled at its arm while I pushed its chin backwards with my other hand. Missing ear threw itself at me again. We all fell backwards onto the broken bench. Missing ear skidded away, while scarred skull was firmly attached to my leg. My hand got a hold of a splintered piece of wood from the broken bench and I slammed it into scarred skull, killing it. Missing ear hurried back, but I had rolled on all fours and swung the piece of wood with both hands towards it, smacking it right into its chest. It sacked into the ground and stayed there wincing.