When Colour Became Grey

by A Lorenzen

  Kim shook her head. ‘If it’s no big deal then why don’t you tell Caleb and Blake about it?!’ she fired back.

  I knew she was right, but it was too good, I couldn’t give it up. It made me feel ecstatic! It made me feel stronger! Sure, it was morally a bit in the grey area, but what wasn’t in this world?

  ‘It makes me forget,’ I confessed, staring at my hands. ‘Kim, it makes you so happy and you forget all your pain!’

  Kim took my hands and pulled them towards her. ‘I can imagine how it makes you feel, but you shouldn’t keep doing it-’

  ‘Why not?!’ I interrupted, eager to change her mind.

  ‘There is a reason why no one else does it. Honey, you don’t know what it could do to you. It could be changing you! And I might not know exactly what it does, but I have a bad feeling, hun. Please.’

  It had already started changing me. I had overpowered Blake in a training session after drinking blood. But wasn’t being stronger a good thing?

  ‘I know…,’ was all I could say. Telling her about my superior strength would not be a strong enough argument to make her change her mind. In my heart I knew she was right, but the voice of the addict in my head told me I wasn’t doing anything wrong.

  ‘Meerah, please. Promise me you will stop.’ She squeezed my hands. Her eyes pleaded with me.

  ‘I will try,’ I agreed, unsure of my willpower to keep away from it.

  Kim squeezed my hand one more time and looked at me with encouraging eyes. ‘Can I drop you off?’

  I shook my head. ‘No, I think I want to walk’

  ‘Are you sure? It’s pretty far.’

  ‘I need some air and I want to think. It’s alright. I’ll be ok.’ I leant over to her and we hugged tightly.

  She drove off and I was left to my thoughts. The night was crisp. Pulling my hoodie up and sticking my hands into my pockets, I started to walk in the direction of Blake’s house.

  Even after all this time I still didn’t think of it as my home. It had always been Blake’s house. Maybe I would have my own place one day, when Blake could no longer argue I was too inexperienced to live on my own. With June still in the picture Kim and I weren’t moving in together anytime soon. The anger I felt for June exploded in my stomach. It surprised me to feel this intensely about her.

  The moonlight reflected in the still water. It was a quiet and clear night. What I wouldn’t give to be walking with my trusted Bruce back in the south of France, far away from all this…

  There was a distant hissing. I stopped my brisk walk and listened for the sound again. It was them. I was sure of it.

  Closing my eyes and breathing calmly, it took all of my concentration not to run towards the molochs, kill them and drink their blood. I had made Kim a promise. What would it say about me if I only kept my word for one hour?

  There was a breeze and it felt like Kim was whispering in my ear to walk away. Opening my eyes, I determinedly pressed on and left the noises behind me. After a short while I was alone again and no sound disturbed my peace. My mind had stayed behind with the molochs. The addict screamed at me to go back and finish them off, to satisfy my thirst.

  My legs carried me faster and faster away, hoping that my brain would eventually stop. The wind picked up and blew intensely, whistling in my ears.

  The bloodthirst eventually calmed. As long as I kept moving, I would be okay. It had been a bad idea to walk home. I should have just let Kim drive me. This was an unnecessary temptation.

  Another noise. I stopped and turned towards it. Again, the delicious sound called me.

  A fight in my head broke out. An angel and a devil sitting on each shoulder, one telling me to keep going, the other to drink blood. The fight intensified and I couldn’t move. Desperately, I tried to command my legs forward, but they wouldn’t budge.

  I took in a deep breath, smelling a faint scent of copper in the air.

  That was it.

  It was over.

  My legs hammered down on the pavement as I ran as quickly as I could towards the moloch, gun in hand. One bullet in its head, the second bullet in the chest.

  There were more. I could hear them, smell them. My head turned and my body followed into a nearby shop. The window was broken, but I was too big to fit through the hole.

  I kicked in the door. Wild hissing and yelping accompanied my entrance. The molochs fled deeper into the shop, hiding in shadowy corners. I let several bullets fly. I had to reload the gun before finishing them off. Eventually, all was quiet again.

  A few seconds of silence filled the space. My hands shook as I stashed the gun away. The anticipation was unbearable.

  Sinking down to my knees close to one of the corpses, the intoxicatingly sweet smell of blood danced around my nose. The copper in the air made my head spin. Eagerly I dipped my fingers into the open wound and licked off the red release. I continued for several minutes before it entered my blood stream and started working its magic. The poison spread gradually and numbed my pain, replacing it with an incredible high. My mind detached from my body and soon I was high.

  A violent noise woke me up. The door from the shop had been slammed shut by a sudden gust of wind. I couldn’t have been out long; the bodies of the molochs had not started decayed yet. When I got up, the movement made the moloch blood stir in my system and the high lingered in my veins. It was powerful. I knew it would take a while for me to digest the copious amount of blood I had swallowed. Though I was satisfied and happy, I also felt the guilt quickly build up. Only a few hours ago had I promised Kim I would keep away from the red poison and I had not even managed one night… Was the problem more serious than I thought?

  No! If I was still standing here, still breathing, after losing Ben, then I could fight this off too. This was nothing.

  The drinking has intensified since Ben died, a voice in my head countered.

  The demons were everywhere! Any excuse to keep my habit going!

  Annoyed I kicked one of the molochs and a wave of blood spread out from underneath the body, sticking to my shoe.

  I was on my way out when I saw a shelf full of sodas. It gave me an idea. I got one off the shelf and emptied it of its sticky sugary liquid. Then, I began the gory process of filling the bottle with blood from the moloch corpses. It was a messy job.

  After twenty minutes of shovelling with my hands, and occasionally licking my fingers, I had three small bottles filled. This would be my emergency supply. I was going to do my best to still fulfil my promise to Kim. These were… just for emergencies. Nothing more. Yes, just in case…

  I could hear laughing in my head as I tried to tell myself it was just an emergency supply.

  You don’t have to stop.

  I knew I had to. Kim was right. Who knew what it would do to me? What it was already doing to me…

  Then let’s just keep going!

  No!

  The voices in my head were getting louder.

  I opened the door out into the night. The wind had picked up and whistled by my ears. Small drops of rain spattered my face. It was colder now. My hands and clothes were covered in blood once again. The wind made me shiver and the icy rain picked up. I hurried back towards the river and rushed the rest of the way home.

  A good half an hour later I reached Blake’s house. Before going up I stashed my emergency bottles in the glove compartment of my car. I pressed the door handle and silently entered the house. I hoped Blake was not awake, but I seemed to always have bad luck.

  I tiptoed up the staircase, but Blake was standing in the middle of the living room and he turned the light on.

  When my eyes had gotten used to the brightness, I knew there was something wrong. It was as if I was wearing old contact lenses. There was something like a curtain of fog everywhere I looked. All colours were faded.

  ‘What did you do?!’

  I looked down at myself and though the colours were faded, I could clearly see the velvet red blood sticking to my clothes and hands.


  Déjà-vu…

  This was not the first time I had come home, my clothes soaked in blood. All my blocked memories came rushing back; the council meeting, Caleb manipulating my mind and Jesper. Jesper! It was so clear now; I had broken into his house and killed him. I had killed him with the knife!

  The shock made me lose my balance, forcing me to hold on to the wall next to my bedroom, leaving red stains on it. I was a murderer. Caleb had made me forget so I would be calm during the council hearing. Blake and Caleb had protected me.

  ‘Answer me!’

  I could feel the pressure; if I slipped up it was all our heads, not just mine. And I had gone out drinking moloch blood again. Damn, what had I done? I had to stop. I had to.

  ‘Molochs,’ I mouthed.

  ‘Are you sure about that?’ Blake stepped closer and grabbed me by my shoulders, forcing me to look at him.

  His expression changed. ‘What’s going on with your eyes?’

  The steel-blue in his eyes was dampened by the curtain of fog but I could still see them clearly stand out against the grey contrast.

  ‘It was molochs,’ I repeated louder and turned my face away from his.

  ‘Look at me!’ Blake reached for my chin and pulled my head towards his.

  ‘Back off!’ I retaliated and pushed him away, making him stumble backwards.

  He brushed his hand through his hair in defiance and pointed at me. ‘There is something going on with you and I will find out what it is!’

  Another part of my memory came back. I remembered Caleb asking Blake to follow me! Had he seen me with the molochs? Did he know my secret?

  ‘Did you speak to Caleb after you dropped me off at Santa’s?’ I hurried to ask before he was up the stairs to his bedroom.

  Blake stopped. ‘Yes… Why?’

  If he had been with Caleb, he couldn’t have been spying on me. ‘No reason, you two were so quiet in the car. I thought there was a problem between you two.’ I shrugged.

  ‘Caleb and I are fine. Don’t worry about it,’ he grunted then stomped up the remaining stairs and slammed his bedroom door shut.

  I knew he was worried and his way of showing it was through anger. This blood-drinking was tearing us all apart… I had to end it.

  The voice in my head was still laughing.

  * * *

  Holly walked into the house and waved at me. She was wearing a blue shimmery top with a low-cut front, her long red hair tumbling down both sides of her shoulders, a pair of tight black jeans topped off with black high heels.

  ‘Ok, Holly just got here. I’ll come pick you up in 20 minutes. Be ready!’ I warned Kim over the phone.

  ‘Relax, I’ll be ready!’ Kim responded and hung up.

  ‘Women.’ I rolled my eyes. ‘Let’s go.’ I nodded towards Holly.

  Blake had gone off somewhere for the night, leaving me in charge of Holly. The council had called Caleb in for another hearing, so he was indisposed as well. Holly and I had decided to go out with Kim to celebrate our ‘adult-free’ time before it was back to the usual training schedule.

  To my delight June was not able to join. The further I stayed away from her the better. Every time I thought about her, I got angry.

  I slipped into my pumps and grabbed a gun.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Holly pointed at the gun while I stashed it into the back of my skirt.

  ‘I always carry a gun. In this shithole you can never be too careful. Didn’t Blake teach you?’ I reached for two additional clips and dropped them in my handbag. The memories of Vladimir still haunted me.

  ‘He did but I thought since we’re going to the pub it won’t be necessary tonight.’ Holly shrugged her shoulders.

  She was probably right but out of habit, I took my gun everywhere. We walked down to the brand-new BMW that Blake had procured for me after ditching the incriminating Volvo.

  I switched my shoes over to flats to drive us to Kim’s house. We parked in front of her apartment and waited in the car. Ten minutes later, she finally came rushing towards us in a figure-hugging dress that went down to her knees.

  ‘We’ve been waiting for you,’ I teased.

  ‘I’m worth the wait.’ She snapped her fingers. ‘Now get us to the bar!’

  Holly turned towards the backseat where Kim was sitting and waived a bottle in front of Kim’s eyes. ‘Pre-bar drinks?’

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘Rum and coke.’

  ‘Not my usual style, but ok.’ Kim took a sip from the bottle. ‘That’s strong!’

  I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw her face distorting. A chuckle escaped my mouth. The girls were getting tipsy while I only had a few small gulps of the strong rum and coke mix. Blake had explicitly told me to watch out for Holly and I was not about to have another car accident and have to explain myself. It was one thing if she got a scratch from a moloch, a completely different one if I was the reason for Holly’s broken bones.

  ‘So, Holly should we get you a man tonight?’ Kim nudged Holly.

  ‘I don’t know; I’m not into all those muscly guys, they all seem so shallow and self-absorbed.’

  Kim smiled cheekily. ‘You could come onboard the girl’s side.’ She winked at Holly and we all exploded in laughter.

  Kim’s phone rang and she shushed us. ‘Dom I told you-’ Kim stopped mid-sentence. I looked up in the rear-view mirror. I saw her face was in shock. Something wasn’t right.

  ‘Where are you?’ Was Dominic in trouble? The strong, tall, Italian man? It had to be serious. Or he was making a scene…

  ‘Ok just stay where you are,’ Kim went on, ‘We’ll come get you. Ameerah is with me-’ Kim went silent again. All colour drained from her face.

  ‘Yes, I will… Ok… Yes – but… Yes… Understood.’ She hung up and pulled herself forward on her seat. ‘Meerah we need to go to this address. And we need to get Blake there too.’

  My phone dinged, indicating I had received a message. Holly opened the message and put the address into the GPS.

  ‘What’s going on?’

  ‘Dom got surprised by a pack of molochs. He barricaded himself in a room, but he doesn’t know how long it will hold them off. He’s badly injured and losing a lot of blood.’ Her voice sounded uncharacteristically scared.

  My thoughts raced for few seconds as I formulated a plan. ‘Holly, dial Blake’s number and give me your phone.’

  ‘I’m calling Gordon,’ Kim interjected.

  ‘I have a bag of Caleb’s blood in the back, we can use that to keep Dom going,’ I said, looking into the rear-view mirror at her.

  ‘Shit-wait! Gordon is in the human world! He might not make it back in time!’ Kim held her head with both hands.

  ‘Caleb did for me so call him.’ Echoes of Jesper’s betrayal played in my head.

  Holly held out her phone towards me. ‘Holly what’s going on?’ I heard on the receiving end.

  ‘It’s me. We have a problem,’ I announced calmly while making a tight turn. The tyres squealed in protest.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Dom is hurt and pinned down by molochs. Holly is gonna text you his address. I need you to get there ASAP.’

  ‘Is Holly with you now?’

  ‘Yes, she’s in the car’

  ‘Fuck…’ I could hear Blake taking a deep breath, ‘Meerah you have to-’

  ‘I will. Just get to the address.’

  ‘Are you loaded?’

  My eyes went over to my handbag on Holly’s lap. ‘Kim, how many guns do you have?’ I lifted my head and looked in the mirror.

  ‘One handgun with one extra clip,’ she answered while on the phone with her master.

  ‘Two guns, three clips’ I responded to Blake. This was slim to fight off a hoard of molochs.

  The car was brand new and I hadn’t stocked it full of guns yet like I usually did. I glanced over to my phone and saw we were almost at the destination. It was an industrial part of the city with high-rising factory buildings looming over u
s.

  ‘Holly can’t fight. I know she’s field approved but-’ Blake started.

  ‘I know. I’ll take care of it. We’re almost there, I have to go.’

  ‘Watch your back please. I can’t lose you.’ His last words resonated in my head. Was he trying to tell me he was in love with me?

  ‘Don’t worry,’ I responded softly and hung up. There was no time for that nonsense now.

  I stopped the car and turned to Holly. Kim leant forward and we had a huddle in the car. ‘Holly, I need you to get back to Kim’s and get blood bags for Dom.’

  ‘I’ll text you my address,’ Kim said, already typing on her phone.

  ‘When you get back here, I want you to park away from the building and text us. Do not get out of the car!’ I emphasized the last sentence while looking Holly directly in the eyes.

  ‘Are you sure?’ Her eyes were big and anxious.

  ‘Yes! Do not leave the car. I can’t be worrying about you if we need to get Dom out.’ I looked at her with as much authority as I could. If she got hurt Blake would never forgive me.

  ‘I’ll do as you say.’ She nodded.

  I reached for my handbag and gave the two clips to Kim. Then, I handed Holly my handgun. ‘Just in case.’

  Holly nodded and got out of the car and hurried to the driver’s side. In a quick motion I reached for the glove compartment and shoved the three bottles of moloch blood into my purse. Kim had taken Caleb’s blood bag from the boot and joined me outside the car. We walked towards the factory where Dom was hiding. My BMW sped off behind us.

  ‘I shoot and you – stay behind me.’ Kim checked her gun. Her high heels were making a lot of unwanted noise.

  ‘Fine. Did Dom say how many molochs were in there?’ We approached a service entrance.

  ‘He said more than a dozen.’

  I stopped and turned to her. ‘More than a dozen?! And I have no gun!’

  Kim shrugged apologetically and pressed her lips into a tight line.

  ‘Let’s just get it over with.’ I pointed at the door, annoyed at the situation. Kim walked towards the door, her back to me. Maybe I should have kept my gun… too late now.

  Kim might be confident in her abilities with one single gun and a bleeding Dominic attracting all the molochs in a ten-mile radius, but I was not rolling the dice. I reached into my handbag and got out one of the blood bottles. As soon as I opened it, the blood called me. Kim entered the building and I followed her inside, taking a big gulp from the red liquid. Inadvertently, I made a sound of pleasure and Kim turned around. Her first reaction was shock; then it quickly changed to anger. ‘What the hell are you doing?!’ she whispered forcefully.