Wolf Me Baby

by KB Winters

  “Don’t touch it.” My voice took on a tone it never had before. When I realized what I’d said and done, I whirled around to look at Aleksis and apologize. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” I was surprised to see her happy expression despite the harshness of my previous words.

  “No. You don’t need to apologize for that—ever.” She gripped my hands again before throwing her arms around me and squeezing tightly. I felt my feet even leave the ground for a few seconds with the force of her hug.

  “Aleksis?” I asked in confusion. She quickly put me down but didn’t move away. “What’s going on? Does this have something to do with the back of my neck.”

  “Maybe…yes.”

  I arched an eyebrow at her. “Maybe yes?”

  She let go of my arms and peered around me. “I’m going to let Nicholas explain this to you.” I turned my head and my eyes widened when I saw Nicholas in the doorway of the now open door. He didn’t look any worse for wear. In fact, I had to force myself not to turn around completely and run over to him. It was as if my eyes refused to look at anyone else when he was around. He took a step into the room.

  “I think we need to talk, River,” he said calmly.

  Aleksis clicked her tongue before stepping around me. I could see her in my peripheral vision, but my focus was still on Nicholas. “I’m just going to go now and let you two lovebirds discuss everything.”

  Nicholas nodded, but his gaze remained trained on me. He did take a few more steps into the room to allow Aleksis to pass him, and with a smile, she closed the door behind her. The tension between Nicholas and me seemed to get stronger once the door was closed, and it was torture to remain so far away from him when all I really wanted was his arms around me. I had to swallow twice before I could get my throat to work.

  “What do we need to talk about, Nicholas?”

  He didn’t blink as he gazed at me. It was unnerving and even more thrilling to have his entire being focused on me as I awaited his answer. Finally, time seemed to start up again when he blinked and blew out a breath.

  “Everything. I need to tell you everything.” Nicholas’ voice was soft, but his words sent my mind racing.

  Everything? We need to talk about everything?

  “Oh?” I tried to keep my voice steady, but I knew he could probably smell the waves of anxiety that had to be pouring off of me. On one hand, I wanted to know just who he was, what he knew about me and why I was even being investigated. It didn’t make sense to me. I was a nobody in the grand scheme of things, and I definitely wasn’t a threat to him or his pack. Even if I thought about telling someone that the stories I wrote about shifters were real, no one would believe me. I’d probably be sent to a mental hospital.

  “You’re not just a nobody, River.”

  My focus snapped back to him at his furiously hissed words. His eyes were fierce-looking and he was tense. “What?” I croaked out. I really need to stop saying words without thinking.

  “Stop talking about yourself like that—saying you’re a nobody and stuff like that. I don’t like it and my wolf definitely doesn’t like it.”

  I swallowed thickly at the bluntness of his words. “Sorry. It’s not something I consciously do. The words just slip out sometimes before I can even think to stop them.” My heartbeat racketed up at the flash of molten scarlet in his eyes.

  “I…I’m sorry.” Nicholas took a step towards me. “I didn’t mean for my words to come out like that. It’s just when you talk like that, it makes my wolf uneasy and prickly. It isn’t a sensation I like and I definitely don’t like to hear you speak of yourself—or to yourself—in such a derogatory fashion.” He reached out a hand, but paused as if he were afraid of touching me. I looked down for a moment at his outstretched hand. It hung there as if beckoning me to reach out and close the link between us.

  Such a harmless gesture now seemed to be so full of meaning and purpose. His apology…his outstretched hand…could I bring myself to accept them? Could I bring myself to accept him and everything it may bring? Was I ready to face everything that a relationship with him might mean? I looked up from his hand needing to see the expression in his eyes. The back of my neck ached, but my hands were frozen at my side. My heart and my head were at war with one another…until our eyes locked.

  My lips parted as I was drawn into his gaze. His expression was clear and I knew he wasn’t going to pressure me. “If I said no to having a relationship with you...would you really leave me alone?”

  Nicholas winced as if the very idea was abhorrent. “Yes.”

  “Really?”

  He took a step closer. “River, if you tell me to fuck off, I’ll get out of your life. I’d never force you to be with me no matter how much it hurts.” He closed his eyes. “It would tear me up inside to know you didn’t want to be with me, and I wouldn’t get over it.” He opened his eyes again and looked at me. “But I’d do it. I’d step back and let you live the life you want and deserve, and I’d be happy for you even as I mourned the loss of what we could be.”

  “Why?” I whispered. “Why would you make yourself miserable just for me?”

  He tilted his head and smiled. “Because you’re worth that and so much more.”

  It was crazy. The whole thing between us was crazy. But in that moment—with his frankly honest words and unwavering gaze—I believed him. My head still thought it was all too crazy to be plausible, but my heart was swayed, and it was what made me take the step forward I needed to close the gap between Nicholas and me. The moment our fingers touched, I gave myself over to the feelings inside I’d fought so hard to deny.

  “This is crazy,” I said quietly. I closed my eyes even as I let him pull me closer to him until his free arm was wrapped around my waist.

  “That’s fine.”

  I opened my eyes and looked up at him. His eyes sparkled and his lips were slowly curling into a happy smile. “I still don’t believe in soulmates or love at first sight.” Nicholas chuckled.

  “That’s fine too.”

  I blinked at him for a few seconds and waited for the panic of what I was getting myself into to overtake my mind. I swallowed thickly as nothing came. “This is insane. Shifters are real and you are a supernatural creature.”

  “Yes. That I am.” His smile widened until his entire face was lit up in an expression of blatant joy.

  I lifted my free hand and cupped around his cheek in wonder. Nicholas closed his eyes and leaned into my touch. “How is all of this even possible?”

  He turned his face to nuzzle into my palm. The feeling of his lips brushing against my skin sent a little thrill of pleasure down my spine. I ignored it for now, though from the smile on his face, I could tell he was fully aware of the feelings he’d stirred up in me.

  “Shut up,” I said, not unkindly. My words were weakened by my smile. It was hard to be upset with him when he was brushing against me like a touch-starved kitten.

  “Explain something for me.”

  He opened his eyes to look at me, but he didn’t move from where he was still nuzzling into my palm. “Anything.”

  “Aleksis said something about our smell…or our scent or something like that.”

  “Oh?” He asked with an arched eyebrow. When he didn’t say anything more, I continued on.

  “Yeah. Like together we smelled like love.” My heartbeat sped up when I thought about the conversation. “What did she mean by that?”

  “Well…first, I can’t believe she even told you that much.” Nicholas sighed softly. “It’s not really a conversation I—”

  “Wait,” I interrupted. I pulled away from him slightly. “Why? Was she not supposed to tell me?”

  He smiled softly. “It’s not bad per se that she told you—but it is a bit…well, we don’t discuss these things with just anyone—especially outside of family. How close you are to that person determines how much or how little you talk about how they do or don’t smell.”

  “Oh,” I breathed out in emb
arrassment. I blinked slowly. “I didn’t mean to talk about it if that helps.”

  “No,” he said quickly. His hand squeezed mine and I tried to ignore the lump in my throat at the thought of violating some shifter rule. “I mean, it’s bad to ask about scents with someone you don’t know yet, but…I’m not explaining this very well.” He paused.

  I tried to give him a reassuring smile, but I felt my lips turn up into more of a grimace than anything. “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not.” Nicholas released my hand and dragged one of his own through his hair. “I want you to know exactly what you’re getting yourself into before you make a decision about me—about us. I don’t ever want you to feel as if I hid something from you, not about this.” He glanced behind me. “I think maybe we should sit down.”

  “Is what you have to say that shocking?” I tried to joke. It fell a bit flat with the expression on his face.

  “I hope not, but…let’s just sit.”

  I nodded slowly and let Nicholas herd me back to the couch. I fell onto it and tried to calm the frantic beating of my heart. I didn’t know what to be prepared for, and I was afraid to think back to some of the stories I’d written about shifters. Not all of it was sexy. Some of it had been the worst possible things I could imagine. I was a bit worried that some of the darker and more frightening aspects I’d written about would turn out to be true. I sat stiff as a board, waiting to hear the true extent of what I was in for.

  Nicholas stared at me for a moment with an unreadable expression on his handsome face. “Are you okay?”

  “Am I okay? What do you mean am I okay?”

  “Yeah, are you okay?” He hesitated with his next words. “You’re just really tense.”

  I looked at him as if he were crazy. “Of course I’m tense. I’m dealing with the fact that you were investigating me before I even knew you existed, combined with shifters—something that I once thought of as purely fiction by the way—and…” My voice trailed off. I couldn’t even finish my sentence without feeling overwhelmed. I saw Nicholas wince at my words.

  “Right. Of course you’re tense. Anyone would be if they’d been through the same shit as you.”

  “Thanks,” I said. His acknowledgement didn’t make me any less tense, but I did feel better about my outburst. “Why don’t you just start at the beginning and tell me why you were investigating me and how long it’s been going on.”

  “Well, I’ve been investigating you on behalf of my family and the council since your first book was published.”

  I raised my eyebrows in shock. “Since my first book was… Nicholas, I put out my first book years ago.”

  Nicholas nodded. “I know, and trust me when I say I know how freaked out you must feel. I’d feel the same way if I found out someone was investigating me, but really in the beginning I investigated you purely by paper trail.”

  “Paper trail,” I echoed. That didn’t sound too terrible. I knew what a paper trail meant. I’d even done a little investigating in the same way the few times I’d gone out on dates with people I met from online.

  “Yeah,” he confirmed. “I didn’t find out where you live or anything, just enough to trace back to your family and see that you didn’t come from a shifter background.”

  “Why would that matter?”

  “The council has a rule for those who go into entertainment, anything that requires you to play a part, writing and so on, they have to make sure that little to no shifter truths are revealed. If I had found out that you were in a pack and you were publishing works that detailed secrets about us, I’d have had to report you to the council and you would no doubt have faced punishment.”

  I swallowed thickly at that revelation. “Wow.”

  “Yeah.” Nicholas ran a hand through his hair again. “It’s not something I enjoy—reporting people. It’s part of my role in the pack though, so I have to do it regardless of whether I like it or not. When I determined that you weren’t a part of anyone’s pack, I stopped investigating you and instead I…” His voice trailed off with his final words.

  I frowned. “You what?”

  He took a deep breath. “I said, I signed up for your newsletter.”

  I blinked rapidly trying to parse through the meaning of his words. “You…signed up for my newsletter.” I couldn’t help the small curl upwards of my lips. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah, seriously. I wasn’t investigating you anymore, but I couldn’t completely stop until I read your next book. Typically, I spend months if not years investigating someone before the council decides whether or not to intervene. In the case of your first book, there were just too many coincidences to ignore.”

  “So you signed up for my newsletter and…what…waited for my next book to come out to see if I divulged more shifter secrets?” I couldn’t help the amusement in my voice. The thought of Nicholas signing up for the newsletter to be informed when my next supernatural romance novel was released was comical. The pink tinge of his ears was adorable, and I found myself relaxing even more—thanks to his palpable embarrassment.

  “As much as it pains me to say, I looked forward to your next book on a personal level,” he admitted. He closed his eyes briefly as if to gather his courage. When he opened them again, his expression was resigned as if he knew I was going to tease him for his admission. “Your writing was…vivid. It was like I could feel and relate to your character’s emotions. It was as if you were writing to me.”

  His words made me gasp quietly. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard that. I had some diehard fans that sent emails and letters saying the same exact words, but the fact that they were coming from Nicholas made them feel different. “Wow.”

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to unload on you like that.”

  “No.” I leaned forward and put my hand on his knee somehow knowing that he needed the contact. He lifted his head to look at me before putting a hand over my own. “Thank you for telling me. I’ve been told that before, but hearing it from you is on a completely different level.”

  “Really?” His smile lit up his entire face. It was a look I wanted to see over and over again. It made me smile as well.

  “Yes.” I looked down at our hands. “I think on some level I always wrote in the hopes that I’d find a connection. I’ve always said I don’t believe in soulmates or destined lovers, but underneath I think maybe I always hoped I was wrong. I’ve never felt so strongly about anyone before. Until,” I said quietly, afraid to voice the words that I knew I needed to say. “Until I met you.”

  His hand reached under my chin and tilted my head up. I closed my eyes to gather my courage before opening them to meet Nicholas’ gaze head on. His expression was soft and the color of his eyes was a light pink as if they wanted to bleed red but were barely kept at bay. It was a hue that I’d not seen before. “Your eyes…the color changes…can you control them?”

  “Sometimes. Usually,” he answered. “It’s a bit more difficult if I’m feeling particularly emotional, and especially when I’m around you.”

  “Oh,” I uttered. The thought of my presence bringing out his emotions was heady. “I make you emotional?”

  Nicholas chuckled. He leaned forward and brushed his lips gently against mine. “You make me feel a lot of things.” I shivered with that knowledge and the electric feeling of his lips once again against mine. I saw his nostrils flair and I was once again reminded of the conversation we needed to have. Dimly, I wondered about the wedding ceremony, but I knew if Kayla needed me, she’d definitely find a way to let me know. I mentally made a note to get her a second bridal gift.

  “Right,” I said gathering the strength I needed to push him back a little. I knew if I fell into kissing him, I wouldn’t be able to stop. As much as I wanted to let myself drown in him and ignore the very real chance that his words would frighten me, I knew we needed to go on for his sake as much as mine. I put my hand on his cheek. “So, scents and smells. They’re a bit taboo to talk about?”

&nb
sp; “Yeah.” He leaned back further and shook his head. “Scents aren’t something we talk about after a certain point. It’s one thing to tell a young pup that he or she needs to tone it down with whatever arousing thing they’re thinking of, but it’s another thing entirely to talk about adults and the scents they may not to be able to control.”

  “I think I get that in some weird non-shifter way.”

  Nicholas smiled. “I’m not surprised. You actually wrote something similar once in one of your books.”

  I couldn’t help the bark of laughter I let out. “I did?” I covered my mouth at the reappearance of his scowl, but I couldn’t help the few snorts of amusement that escaped. “Wait, how do you know?” I narrowed my eyes at him. “Exactly how many of my books have you read, Nicholas?”

  “I don’t really see how that is relevant to the—”

  “How many?” I asked again. I couldn’t help the wide smile that split my face.

  His jaw dimpled as he gritted his teeth, but I waited patiently for his answer. Finally, he sighed. “Fine. All of them. I’ve read all of your books, River.”

  I clapped gleefully at his confession. I had no desire to tease him about it though, I was genuinely delighted. Then I remembered something. “Wait, you lied to me!”

  Nicholas frowned. “What? When?”

  “When I first met your friends. You acted as if you didn’t know anything about my writing,” I said. “Were all of you…was that all just to pump me for information or something?”

  “No,” he answered quickly. “The guys really had no idea who you were. I was just curious where you got your ideas from.”

  “Why?”

  Nicholas rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. “Because I wanted to know you—know about you. I’d read all of your books and spent so much time investigating you for the council, but I wanted to know about you for me. I wanted to know who you are, what you do, what you like.” He turned his hand over and curled his fingers around mine. “I wasn’t investigating you by then, I swear. I’d already finished everything up and told the council you weren’t a danger or a threat.”