Finding Hope (Mail Order Bride: Brides And Promises Book 1)

by Ruby Hill

  “Tonight, at the ball,” Sophie squealed. Eliza nodded. It made sense; she and John could pass off their relationship as simply good friends, nothing more, and she would make sure to tell everyone who asked how much she was looking forward to having John as a brother-in-law.

  “You are not sad, Eliza?”

  Aware she had been lost in her thoughts, Eliza smiled up at Sophie. “Not in the least, Sophie. I wish you and John a lifetime of happiness.”

  “Thank you, Eliza,” Sophie said, suddenly serious. “I do hope you will find the same happiness as I have found with John, one day.”

  Eliza smiled softly, not saying anything. She believed she had found it with Phillip, but couldn't find words to express it to her sister. Now was not the time. Let Sophie enjoy her whirlwind of love, engagements, and other delights. Eliza's time would come.

  * * *

  Taking a deep breath, Eliza studied herself in the mirror. Her maid had worked a miracle! Her hair was pulled back in an intricate twist, with small curls left here and there to soften the appearance. She was dressed in a stunning blue ball gown, one that had been made for a previous engagement, but that she had never had the chance to wear. It complimented her eyes perfectly.

  Sighing heavily, she walked to her wardrobe and picked up a small box, pulling out the Williams necklace. It was heavy in her hands, full of dazzling jewels that caught the candlelight. She had been so desperate to find a way to keep the necklace away from Lord Penn’s grasping hands, but there was no other path she could take. With a heavy heart, she placed it securely in her reticule. Mayhap a sudden inspiration would save her from her dreaded task. Lifting her chin, she left the room, making her way down the staircase and on into the ballroom. She was already late.

  Anthony saw her enter, his breath leaving his body as he took in her appearance. He hated that he had been waiting for her and that she could have such an effect on him. She looked like an angel, but he knew she was nothing of the sort. He pictured the moment when he would introduce himself to her, see the shock on her face. But not yet.

  He watched her as she found her sister and Lord Stockton, bowing to John and embracing her sister. A little odd, given her understanding of the man. Her mother had told him there was to be a formal announcement of an engagement tonight, a ‘Lord Stockton to Miss Williams', she had trilled, and he had found he couldn't breathe. Whilst the announcement would bring joy to his mother, for him, it would twist the knife that had not yet left his heart.

  * * *

  John looked so different; Eliza almost did not recognize him. He had a joy about his being that lit his entire face, almost as though it radiated from him.

  “I am delighted to hear your news,” Eliza told him, honesty in her profession. “I am sure you will both get along very well together.”

  “I thank you, Eliza,” John replied, his gaze on Sophie who was practically glowing with happiness. “I am certain that we will.”

  “When will the joyous event take place?”

  “As soon as I can arrange it,” John blurted, inciting a laugh from the two ladies. Turning to Sophie, John bowed and took her hand, as they excused themselves for the next dance. Her hands clasped in front of her, Eliza watched them dance together, glad they had found their way together.

  “You have allowed him a dance with your sister, I see.”

  “Phillip!” Eliza gasped, shocked to see the gardener dressed so finely. “Whatever are you doing here?”

  "Ah, my dear Eliza, I must confess a little deception on my part." He saw her eyes grow wide, her gaze never leaving his. "I am not the gardener, as I told you. I am the Anthony Phillip Russell, the Earl of Bessington, at your service." He gave her a mock bow, seeing her face turn white with shock.

  "Phillip? Are you not, Phillip? You are…"

  “Anthony,” he replied, grimly. “You may have fooled me, Miss Williams, but you, too, have been made a fool.”

  Eliza could only stare at him in disbelief, the surprise at his announcement throwing her completely off balance. He was not Phillip; he was the earl. She had kissed the earl. She had been in his arms. She could barely take it in.

  “Why did you not tell me?” she whispered, swaying slightly.

  Anthony shrugged, grasping her arm and leading her to a chair. “It seemed more entertaining to keep up the disguise. Besides, it showed me who you really are, so you need not keep up the pretense."

  Eliza was confused, not understanding the cryptic words he spoke. "I have no pretense, Phillip – I mean, Anthony." She covered his fingers with her own gloved ones, hurt and dismayed when he swiftly pulled his away.

  "I said, there is no need to keep up the pretense," he snarled. "I am done with you, Eliza, done, do you hear me? I am not to be mocked anymore. Once this evening is over, I intend to put you from my mind, never to think of you again!"

  If Eliza had not been sitting, she was sure she would have fainted. This could not be the same man who spoke so tenderly to her in the garden. It could not be.

  “Phillip,” she wavered, tremulously. “Why do you speak to me so?”

  He let out a mocking laugh. “It is no more than you deserve,” he said, getting to his feet. “Goodbye, Eliza. I hope we shall never meet again.”

  With that, he was gone, leaving Eliza feeling as though her entire world had gone to pieces. The gardener had been a ruse, a shallow disguise. The earl did not care for her, as she thought he had, his words tearing holes in her heart. She felt emotionless, as though he had torn every last bit of feeling from her.

  With nowhere else to go, she stumbled her way up the stairs and closeted herself in the nearest room. She needed to be alone, to compose herself enough to return for her sister’s announcement. Thereafter, she would plead a headache and return to her room. Even the thought of seeing the earl made her want to weep, as she struggled to hold the tears back. It was of no use. Giving in, she felt the tears drip down her cheeks as he curled herself into a ball, sitting on the floor in the earl’s drawing room.

  * * *

  Anthony wished he felt better. Instead, he felt worse, guilty even, over his treatment of Eliza. He had thought her shock on learning who he truly was would have been enough for him, but instead her face dogged his mind. His words had been cruel, but he kept telling himself she deserved it.

  “May I introduce my son, Lord Bessington,” his mother beamed, bringing over a woman and, he presumed, her daughter. “Anthony, this is Mrs. Williams and her youngest daughter, Miss Sophie Williams.”

  “How do you do?” Anthony replied, all decorum as he bowed over each lady’s hand.

  “I am sorry I could not introduce you to my eldest daughter,” Lady Williams began. “I simply cannot find her anywhere.”

  “We have already been introduced,” Anthony said quickly, wishing to change the subject immediately.

  “Indeed!” Mrs. Williams looked surprised. “How fortunate. Well, if you do come across her, my lord, I would be vastly obliged if you would tell her I am in search of her. We cannot do the announcement without her.”

  He felt sick to his stomach at the mention of the betrothal announcement. “Of course,” he mumbled, bowing to take his leave.

  “Mama, I am sure she will not mind,” he heard the daughter say. “She has already given us her congratulations.”

  Anthony froze in place, feeling his heart miss a beat. Dread filled him as he walked back to the ladies, bowing briefly.

  "I apologize for the interruption," he began quietly. "But what is to be announced this evening?"

  "Oh, you had not heard," Mrs. Williams laughed. "I do apologize, my lord. Lord Stockton," she gestured in his direction with her fan, "is recently engaged to my daughter, Sophie."

  Anthony saw the beaming smile on the face of Miss Sophie Williams, and his heart sank. What had he done? Without a word, he left Mrs. Williams and Sophie behind, leaving them both surprised and slightly offended.

  “Well,” Mrs. Williams said to her daughter. “For an
earl, he certainly lacks manners.”

  “Never mind, Mama,” Sophie replied, taking her mother’s hand. “Let us go and find John. I am most anxious for our engagement to be announced!”

  * * *

  Anthony walked through the swirl of guests, desperately looking for Eliza. He did not know what he would say to her or how he would explain his actions, but he would crawl on his knees if he had to. What a fool he had been. Such cruelty towards the woman he loved. He had to find her; he had to. She was not here, not hidden away in any corner and not in the powder room either, the maid told him. He suddenly recalled her story about Lord Penn and that this was the very evening she was to give him the necklace. Anthony stood for a moment, breathing hard, completely lost as where to go or what to do. He needed to find Eliza. Turning to one of his footmen, he began to ask some questions.

  * * *

  The sound of the door shutting alerted Eliza that she was no longer alone. Scrambling to her feet, she was terrified to see the evil face of Lord Penn leering down at her.

  “Good evening, Eliza. What on earth can you be doing on the floor?”

  His pretense at sympathy was a slap in her face. "I have what you want," Eliza retorted, wiping her damp cheeks and holding up her reticule. “Please, just take it and leave me and my family alone.”

  "Ah, but you are alone, so very alone, my dear," Lord Penn replied, moving towards her stealthily. Panicking, Eliza backed away, realizing that he had deliberately blocked her way out of the room. Taking off her reticule, she threw it at him, shocked that he completely ignored it, keeping his gaze fixed on her. Eliza did not know what to do, moving behind a chair and keeping her back away from the wall. She was determined that he would not corner her.

  "Whilst I am sure that the Williams necklace is indeed within your reticule," Lord Penn said, his dark eyes glittering. "I have come to realize that I shall take you and the necklace as my prize."

  “Me?” Eliza gasped, continuing to move away from him. “I, sir, am not for sale.”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “Whether you are or aren’t is of no consequence, for I shall take what I want by force if I have to.” He lunged for her, catching her wrist and hauling her to him. “By force is it?” he sneered, pushing her against the wall. “Try and fight all you like my dear; it is of no use!”

  Anthony opened the door to see the struggling form of Eliza being pinned to the wall, and all coherent thoughts left his mind. With a roar, he launched himself at the man, tackling him to the ground. Eliza collapsed in a heap, shaking like a leaf. As Lord Penn scrambled to get away, Anthony pulled the man to his feet, delivering blows, rage fueling every punch.

  “Stop, stop!” Eliza tugged Anthony back, bringing him to his senses. “You’ll kill him!”

  Shaking with fury, Anthony stepped back, allowing Lord Penn to sag against the wall where Eliza had once been held. “He has no rights here, and he deserves whatever he has coming to him.”

  “No, no!” Eliza cried, pulling on his arm and trying to stop him from once more launching himself at the man. “You can’t kill him; you can’t! Think what that would mean for you, and for your family. Don’t do it, Phillip, don’t do it!”

  The use of his false name brought Anthony up short. He had lost Eliza once already and was not about to be separated from her again. Killing a lord would certainly force him to spend life in jail, waiting for the noose.

  “Very well,” he replied hoarsely, his eyes still on Lord Penn. “It is for her sake that I don’t put an end to your miserable life here and now.” His voice rose to a roar. “You are to leave my house this very moment and never return. You are to send me her father’s debts, and I will pay them in full. You are not to besmirch his name or that of his family’s. You have escaped with your life today, do not think I shall be so generous the next time.”

  He saw a barely perceptible nod from Lord Penn, who then left the room, staggering with each step. Anthony felt the anger drain out of him as he turned to look at Eliza. Her eyes were huge, her face wet with tears, but she did not come to him when he held his arm out to her, instead picking up her reticule and rushing from the room.

  9

  Eliza woke early, as was her custom, pushing herself up on her elbows. She had slept deeply for what felt like the first time in many months. Now that the worry and concern over Lord Penn was gone, her burden had vanished. The Williams necklace was safely back in her wardrobe, soon to make the journey home.

  The thought of what Lord Penn had tried to do caused her to shiver, but she knew he would never be able to come near her again. The earl was to pay all of her father’s debts, so Lord Penn would have no cause to even cross her path. Why had he shown her such kindness after speaking to her so callously? It did not make sense. And why did he lie to her and make her believe he was a gardener?

  Dressing quickly, Eliza was determined to make her way to the woods, in search of Phillip – no, Anthony. She would thank him profusely for saving her, and then take her leave, knowing that her job was done. She could not leave his estate without ensuring she let him know the depths of her gratitude.

  Anthony sat in the clearing, dressed in his shirt and old boots. He had started a fire, hoping that she would come to him. He longed to see her again, to explain himself and to beg for her forgiveness. He kicked a chunk of wood morosely, thinking that he had hoped in vain.

  “My lord?”

  Spinning on his heel, Anthony saw Eliza coming towards him, dressed simply and with her blonde hair in a braid, as it had been the first time they met. “Eliza,” he breathed, rushing forward to take her hand.

  “My lord,” she began again, taking her hand from his. “I have to come to thank you for your generosity towards my family and me. Father’s debts are vast, and there is no reason for you to pay them. Regardless, I must thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have saved me from a great deal of trouble.” She curtsied, intending to move away, but Anthony stopped her, his hand grasping her arm.

  “Eliza, please,” he implored. “Won’t you let me explain? Please, I beg of you.” Such was the desperation in his voice that she had no choice but to acquiesce, seating herself on the tree stump, the familiar scene tugging at her heart.

  "I must beg your forgiveness for my behavior last evening. I spoke words of such cruelty, and the look on your face told me how much I'd pained you." He swallowed hard, his eyes searching her impassive face. "I happened upon Lord Stockton and yourself in an embrace the previous evening, and I believed you to be using me, making me feel like a fool for falling in love with you."

  Eliza colored immediately, remembering the scene. "Oh, Anthony, it was not what you thought! Yes, I had asked John to kiss me, but it was to see if I felt the way I did with you." She covered her red cheeks with her hands. "It became apparent that I did not, and so we parted ways."

  “He is now betrothed to your sister,” Anthony replied gently.

  “Yes, yes,” Eliza replied, getting to her feet. “And I wished them both a lifetime of happiness. It appears that they have longed for each other for a while, but John’s attention to propriety was all that was hindering him.” She gazed at him, her hands on her hips, exasperated by the muddle they were in. “Anthony, I must ask why you lied to me. You made a fool of me, and I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me your true identity when we first met.”

  “Eliza, you must forgive me on that account as well,” answered Anthony. “I only hid my identity so you would open up to me about how the guests truly felt about me. I did not expect to fall in love with you.”

  Eliza thought about his confession, and said, “Well, things would have turned out much differently if I did know your true identity. I would never have opened up to you, and I certainly wouldn’t have told you of my troubles.” She looked Anthony in the eyes, “But, you must promise never to tell falsehoods again.”

  Anthony got to his feet, making his way towards her. “I promise. I will always tell you the truth, even if it’s some
thing you don’t want to hear. Oh, Eliza, I have been such a fool,” he confessed, holding out his hand. “If only I had asked you before coming to my conclusions about you and Lord Stockton, I might have spared us both this heartache.”

  Eliza glanced down at his open hand and then back up into his face. Anthony had asked for her forgiveness, and she was willing to give it. She loved him too much to hold a grudge, taking his hand in her own. “I waited for you in the woods yesterday morning,” she said quietly. “I wanted to confess something to you.”

  “What was that?” Anthony asked, his hands now slowly sliding around her waist.

  “I wanted to confess my love for you,” she whispered. “Gardener or not, I know that my heart belongs to you.”

  “And you hold mine,” Anthony replied, lowering his head. Their kiss was soft and sweet, both a promise of love and a giving of forgiveness.

  * * *

  THE END

  Part III

  Christmas Mystery of the Heart

  1

  England, 1820

  Sarah dared not even look behind her, fearing that her father had heard the quiet footsteps she’d taken along the creaky hallway. Standing as though frozen in place, the sound of his snoring met her ears as she breathed a sigh of relief and carefully made her way down the grand staircase. She knew this was her one and only chance to escape him; if he caught her now, then she would be locked up tighter than a prisoner. There would be no second chances. She could no longer wait for the drink to kill him; she was sure that, one day, he’d kill her first. The welts on her back rubbed painfully against her clothes, a reminder of the pain she’d had to endure from her so-called loving father. As usual, there had been no reason for his outburst, but these days, Sarah only had to walk in the room and he would be in a temper, a temper that eventually grew to violence. Violence she could no longer take.