Finding Hope (Mail Order Bride: Brides And Promises Book 1)

by Ruby Hill

  7

  After ten days of caring for Ryan, Rebecca woke to a lot of banging in the kitchen. Worried that she was going to find a bandit, or even a wild animal, Rebecca grabbed the closet object to her for protection: a heavy, metal horseshoe.

  She snuck into the kitchen and found a very surprised Ryan making breakfast by the light of the oil lamp.

  “Oh, you’re up!” exclaimed Ryan.

  “Well, I don’t know how I could sleep through all the racket,” said Rebecca, laughing.

  “Well, you’ve been so kind to me, I wanted to do something nice for you.” Ryan motioned to the breakfast feast he had laid out on the table.

  Rebecca brought her hand to her mouth in reaction to the pleasant surprise, but accidentally hit her face with the horseshoe she forgot she was holding.

  “What do you have there?” said Ryan, unable to control his laughter.

  Rebecca joined in his laughter and showed him the horseshoe, “I heard a lot of noise, and I wasn’t sure what I was going to find?”

  “So, you grabbed a horseshoe? What exactly did you think you were going to do with that?” Tears began to fill Ryan’s eyes from his laughing.

  Rebecca pretended to be upset at his joking, but she couldn’t keep a straight face.

  Rebecca was so happy that Ryan was feeling better. He was thin, but the color had returned to his cheeks. They were laughing and deep in conversation when Mrs. Carlson knocked on the door and came into the kitchen.

  Ryan invited Mrs. Carlson to join them. Rebecca excused herself to change into a dress. She had come downstairs to check on the racket in her nightgown and robe and had just realized she needed to change into clothes.

  When Rebecca was out of earshot, Ryan confided in Mrs. Carlson. “Rebecca has been a Godsend, and I think I am falling in love with her. I know she doesn’t have her memories back yet, but I am going to ask her to marry me. Even if she doesn’t know who she is, it’s obvious she is loving, loyal, and trustworthy.”

  Mrs. Carlson took Ryan’s hands in hers, “Dear, I wish you could ask her to marry you. We have come to love that girl like family, but you don’t know if she’s already married. We don’t know where she came from, and we don’t know if people are looking for her.”

  Ryan, feeling disheartened, agreed that marrying her wasn’t the right thing to do until they found out more about her past.

  Rebecca was confused by the emotions that welled up inside of her. She also felt love for Ryan and wanted to marry him more than anything. But, Mrs. Carlson was right; she needed to find out if she was already married.

  Rebecca returned, and Ryan invited Mrs. Carlson to stay for breakfast.

  When the dishes were cleaned up, Mrs. Carlson asked, “Are you ready to come back to our home, dear?”

  “Yes, of course. Ryan is better now. It wouldn’t be proper if I stayed here,” said Rebecca. “You don’t mind if I come back with you?” asked Rebecca. She had a hard time understanding why the Carlsons had been so welcoming.

  “Well, the twins are driving me mad asking when you’re coming home,” said Mrs. Carlson. “And Mr. Carlson and I just love having you around. You are welcome in our home as long as it suits you.”

  * * *

  Rebecca loved being at the Carlsons’ ranch and immediately began helping with chores, playing with the twins, and helping Mrs. Carlson with anything she could. Rebecca learned how to make cheese, and her new favorite food, cornbread. Some mornings, she would walk with the twins to school and even carry their lunch pails. In the evenings, she would write out sums with them on their slate boards to practice their math skills.

  Rebecca loved her days, but she loved the evenings even more. Ryan joined them for dinner every night. With Mr. and Mrs. Carlson’s permission, Ryan started staying a little longer after his nightly cigar with George, so he could take a walk with Rebecca.

  Each night, Ryan refrained from kissing her goodnight as they said farewell. A kiss felt natural, but Mrs. Carlson’s words kept ringing in his ears. He didn’t know if she was already married, and he wanted to be respectful.

  Rebecca found reasons to visit Ryan as often as he could. She would bring over fresh bread or an apple pie that she baked. She would go over once a week to help dust and keep his house tidy. Ryan found reasons to visit the Carlsons’ ranch, such as bringing over extra vegetables from his garden or offering to help Mr. Carlson with chores that were unnecessary.

  One Sunday afternoon after church, the Carlson family, along with Rebecca and Ryan, were sitting on the porch. A slight breeze rustled through the tree leaves. The day was perfect.

  Two men, dressed in wool pants, vests and leather chaps approached the front door. They smelled of whisky, and Mrs. Carlson showed her disapproval of the men drinking on a Sunday. George greeted them both with hearty handshakes. The men tipped their hats to Mrs. Carlson and Rebecca and walked off with George to speak in private.

  A few minutes later, George returned, clutching something in his hand. He sat down next to his wife and recounted what the two men had just discussed with him.

  “They caught the bandits who have been terrorizing these parts,” said George.

  “Oh, how wonderful,” said Mrs. Carlson. “Did they find anything that might have belonged to Rebecca? Maybe we can figure out who she is.”

  George looked down, “Well, they did find something.” George opened his hand to reveal a wedding band. “The engraving on the wedding band says ‘Robert and Rebecca’, and the men thought it might have belonged to you. They knew that there was woman named Rebecca staying with us that was looking for her brother.”

  “I’m married?” questioned Rebecca. “I don’t remember being married.” Rebecca glanced over at Ryan, who was staring at the floor, visibly upset.

  “Oh goodness, well, we just didn’t know where you came from, Rebecca,” said Mrs. Carlson, offering a sympathetic glance towards Ryan, and then Rebecca. “I guess we better start inquiring after your husband. It might prove to be difficult with only a first name, but we can do it. Your family must be frightfully worried about you.”

  Both twins rushed over to Rebecca and embraced her tightly. Rebecca could feel the tears welling up in her eyes.

  Lizzie cried, “That doesn’t mean you’re leaving, does it?”

  Her sister Mary chimed in, “Rebecca, don’t leave! Can’t your husband just move here?”

  Rebecca couldn’t hold the tears back. She could barely speak, “I don’t know what this means. Right now… I… I think I just need some time alone.”

  Rebecca refused to make eye contact with Ryan. She rushed past him and up to her room. Sitting on her bed in disbelief, Rebecca was in shock. She couldn’t imagine a different life other than the one that she had created with Ryan and the Carlsons. Even though she never said it out loud, she had hoped to marry Ryan. She knew Ryan felt the same, but he continued to be respectful that her amnesia made marrying impossible. To Rebecca, this was the worst possible outcome.

  Hours passed before there was a knock on the door. Mrs. Carlson walked in and sat next to Rebecca. A draft came through the door, and Rebecca shivered as she pulled her shawl tighter around herself.

  “How are you feeling?” asked Mrs. Carlson.

  “Heartbroken.”

  “As are we…” Mrs. Carlson’s voice trailed off.

  “What did Ryan say?”

  “Not much. I think he’s heartbroken, too.”

  The two women sat in silence, not knowing what to say to each other.

  Mrs. Carlson broke the silence, “Would you like to see your ring?”

  “I suppose,” said Rebecca as she held out her hand.

  Mrs. Carlson gently placed the gold band in Rebecca’s hand. The metal was warm, but to Rebecca, the symbol of love only brought sadness.

  Memories began flashing through Rebecca’s mind. A gray-haired husband who beat her. A father who turned her away when she needed him most. The wicked man, Andrew, who acted as the catalyst that brough
t her to Texas. She had moved to Texas to meet Ryan Wilder. Her husband was dead. She wasn’t married.

  Rebecca’s grabbed Mrs. Carlson’s hands, “I remember.”

  8

  Ryan had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. The woman he had grown to love was taken by another man. The worst part was that Ryan knew Rebecca loved him, too; his love wasn’t unrequited. She had never said it out loud, but he knew by the warmth in her bright green eyes, the eagerness in her voice, and the dimples that appeared in her rounded cheeks every time she was near him because she couldn’t stop smiling. Everything she did gave away her feelings. Ryan smiled. To him, Rebecca was perfect.

  Maybe her husband would never find her. They could get married, and nobody from her former life would be the wiser. It wouldn’t be fair though. Ryan admitted that any man would be lucky to have Rebecca, and her husband was probably searching for her at that very moment. Ryan couldn’t live with himself knowing that he was causing another person so much pain.

  Ryan decided to go back to the Carlsons’ ranch and say his final goodbye to Rebecca. As he rode, all he could think about was the hole in his heart that Rebecca would leave. There was an irresistible sweetness in her manner that was unmatched by any other woman he had ever met. After losing a second woman, although in a much different way than his wife, Ryan swore off love.

  He rode up to the Carlsons’ home and tied up his horse. As he was walking up the stairs to the porch, Rebecca came barreling into the door and crashed into him, knocking them both to the ground.

  “Rebecca, are you all right? Are you hurt?”

  Rebecca bounced up like nothing had happened, “Yes, I am fine. I can’t believe you’re here. I was on my way to see you.” She spoke so quickly that Ryan had difficulty understanding her. “I remember. I remember everything.”

  “You do? Why did you come to Finston? Who is your brother? Is your husband nearby?”

  “I don’t have a brother. I just told the stagecoach driver that I was looking for my brother because my real story was so ridiculous. More importantly, I don’t have a husband. I came here to meet you. You’re the reason I am here.”

  Ryan was confused. “I don’t understand.”

  “You answered my ad. That’s how I knew your name when we first met. Oddly enough, that was the only memory I had: your name.”

  Ryan forgot that he wrote a letter to a woman he had never met. He waited for a reply, but completely forgot about meeting the other women after Rebecca came into his life.

  Rebecca poured her heart out to him, beginning with her mother’s death and her father’s betrayal. She smiled as she talked about her sisters and hoped to reach out to them soon. Her mood turned somber as she told Ryan about her marriage and how her husband had died. She finished by telling Ryan about fleeing from Andrew and spending the last bit of money she had to come to Texas.

  At last, she fell silent, and he gently took her hand.

  Ryan’s mouth hung open in disbelief. The amount of pain and suffering Rebecca had experienced in her short life was astounding. Every man in her life had betrayed her or treated her poorly. Ryan stayed silent.

  Rebecca felt vulnerable. She knew that coming to Finston without an invitation was risky, but it’s what she felt compelled to do. In her mind, Ryan’s silence meant he no longer wanted her.

  Rebecca felt defeated. “You probably think I’m crazy for coming all the way to Texas and not knowing whether or not you would take me in. Maybe I am crazy, but I had nowhere else to go.”

  Ryan gently lifted Rebecca’s chin so he could look into her eyes. “Rebecca, you have more guts than all of Finston. I will always take care of you, and until the day I die, I promise I will spend every waking minute trying to make you happy. I love you.”

  Tears welled up in Rebecca’s eyes, “I love you, too, Ryan.”

  Ryan leaned down and kissed Rebecca. It was the first time Rebecca had experienced a kiss that felt like home. She felt loved. She felt wanted.

  “Well, should we go and tell the Carlsons the news?”

  “They already know. I told Mrs. Carlson everything.”

  “Not that news that you have your memory back. The news that we’re getting married.”

  “Married?” asked Rebecca.

  “Well, that is, if you’ll have me. I don’t want you living at the Carlsons a moment longer than necessary. I want you close to me. Always.”

  “Rebecca Wilder. I like the sound of that.”

  “So, that’s a yes?”

  “That’s a yes,” Rebecca said. She didn’t want the moment to end.

  9

  Rebecca’s golden cross glittered on her breast as she walked arm-in-arm with George. She walked towards Ryan, who was standing under a tree in the Carlsons’ front yard. Ryan had a warm smile that hadn’t left his lips the entire morning. The front yard was swept and cleaned. Lizzie and Mary spent the day before the wedding gathering wild flowers to make into wreaths which they hung from the front door and along the fence in the front yard.

  The town’s reverend stood ready to carry out the wedding ceremony. A bell had been tied to a branch of the tree above them for good luck. Rebecca’s dress was made from white cambric. She wore no veil and carried a small bouquet of wild flowers gathered by Mary and Lizzie.

  Mrs. Carlson slipped a blue handkerchief in her sleeve saying, “Well, you got your old cross and your new dress. Here’s something borrowed and something blue.”

  Rebecca’s heart skipped a beat with nervousness, but as she reached the tree and joined Ryan, her anxiety faded. Looking into Ryan’s blue eyes, she finally felt at peace. The gentle May sun filtered through the tree leaves and glowed on her dark hair.

  The Carlsons were the only people Ryan or Rebecca wanted to invite to their wedding. After all, they had all become one big, happy family.

  They stood together hand-in-hand before the reverend and their family to exchange vows. Neither could remember a moment in their lives when they’d been happier. Ryan slipped a simple gold band on Rebecca’s finger.

  After the ceremony, they all sat down to a meal. Mrs. Carlson had baked a fruit cake with apples and pears, moistened with orange juice.

  George stood up to bless the couple.

  “May you have a long and prosperous marriage, and may the Lord shower you with his blessings. Amen.”

  Rebecca and Ryan looked at each other smiling, for they knew they were already blessed to have found each other.

  * * *

  THE END