Jesse was so gorgeous when he blushed.
“Okay, okay, now that we’ve gotten the exciting part over, I’m gonna take you through the syllabus. I know, I know, no one ever wants to read the manual. But this is the most important document in the entire class, and you should refer to it often.”
The admin stuff was boring, but necessary, and laid the groundwork for the rest of the course. Spencer had learned the hard way that if he didn’t explain that everything was in the syllabus the first week, he’d be explaining it every week until the end of semester.
He’d still get questions, but at least they’d be marginally more informed questions.
The rest of the lecture was reasonably quiet, and Spencer found himself letting his students go fifteen minutes early. He expected that, too. The first lecture of the semester always ran short, because he left time for questions, but everyone was still too afraid to ask them.
Jesse approached him on the stage as he was packing up his laptop.
“Hey, that was awesome,” he said, taking the HDMI cord from Spencer to coil it back up for him.
“I dunno about awesome, but thank you.” Spencer blushed. “You were pretty awesome, too. And totally right, which helped.”
“They did give me a doctorate in science. I might be into plants, but I have a basic understanding of all the other stuff. We didn’t have astrophysics classes at my college, though.”
Spencer laughed. “I know, I know. It’s just that when I met you… you looked like you’d just rolled off a beach somewhere in California. I’m still getting used to the fact that you’re ridiculously smart as well as everything else.”
“I had actually just rolled off a beach in California, though, so you weren’t exactly wrong.”
“Really?” Spencer raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah. I picked up some work as a lifeguard at one of the beachfront hotels over the Christmas break. It wasn’t… look, it’s warm in Cali in the winter, but it’s not that warm, y’know? I didn’t get to save a single person.”
“You sound so disappointed by that.” Spencer laughed. Jesse had a wry sense of humor that he loved already.
“Well, it’s great that no one drowned or anything, I guess.” Jesse shrugged. “But it’s mostly because of how few of them were brave enough to go swimming.”
“So, your point is that you have a flawless record as a lifeguard, and you’re actually a hero?” Spencer teased. He tried not to imagine Jesse in a tiny lifeguard uniform, which was hard, because he’d already seen him naked. He knew exactly what Jesse looked like under his pressed shirt and dark jacket.
“Kinda, if you wanna look at it that way.” Jesse looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. “Anyway, I should go. Figure out how I’m gonna give a lecture that good on my first day.”
“I can look over your notes, if it’ll help?” Spencer offered. He didn’t expect Jesse to take him up on it, but it seemed like the thing to do. They were going to be friends, after all. That was what friends did.
“Nah. I mean, I appreciate the offer, but you don’t need to do my work on top of your own. I think I’ll pick up my stuff and head home. But, uh. I’m really, really looking forward to getting to know you better.”
“Same here,” Spencer agreed. “And good luck with the first lecture. I promise it gets easier.”
“Thanks,” Jesse said as he started to walk away, waving at Spencer when he turned his back.
He could definitely just be friends with Jesse. For sure. It wouldn’t be a problem, not for a single second.
Spencer sighed. He was doomed.
Chapter Six
Jesse shouldn’t have been surprised to see Spencer sitting in on his first lecture, but he still was. He hadn’t really expected Spencer to take an interest in him. In his work. Physicists of all kinds had a tendency to look down on other fields, though Spencer had never given the impression that he did.
The proof that he didn’t—at least in Jesse’s case—was that he’d taken up the same front-row seat Jesse had the day before.
Jesse found himself explaining a lot of things as though he was explaining them to Spencer, but by the end of the lecture, he didn’t think that had hurt him at all. He’d felt relaxed within a few minutes. Nobody seemed to be groaning or rolling their eyes at him.
All in all, it had felt a lot more successful than he’d expected it to feel. Maybe this whole teaching deal wasn’t so bad.
Jesse had been a teaching assistant before, but he’d never been in charge of a class.
Spencer hung back after the lecture, just like Jesse had done the day before, and helped him with the lights and the projector quietly. Jesse was afraid to ask for Spencer’s opinion—what if it was that he sucked and should quit?—but curiosity eventually got the better of him.
“So, uh, any tips for improvement?” he asked cautiously.
“The podium won’t run away if you ease up your grip on it,” Spencer said. His tone was kind, though. Jesse had no idea where people got the idea he was a hardass. Although, he wasn’t one of Spencer’s students. Maybe Spencer was harsher with people he was getting paid to teach.
“My hands have actually cramped up,” Jesse admitted. He knew he’d looked nervous in the beginning, but he also knew now that he could do this, week in and week out. He’d done most of it before. He’d just never been the guy in charge. That was what made it different.
“Well, you did a good job anyway,” Spencer said, walking over to stop in front of him. “Give me your hands.”
Jesse held his hands out automatically, trusting Spencer. To his surprise, Spencer took one of them and bent the fingers back, just far enough to stretch them without being too painful, and then stretched out each finger individually, pressing his thumb into the middle of Jesse’s palm.
A hand massage, Jesse realized after Spencer took his other hand. Spencer was giving him a hand massage.
The room was suddenly a little too hot, the air between them heavy and stifling. Jesse wet his lips, opening his mouth to say something, but nothing came to mind. He didn’t want Spencer to stop, so he couldn’t exactly say that.
Instead, he just let it happen, trying not to focus too much on how good Spencer’s hands felt. They hadn’t touched since they’d parted ways on Sunday morning, except to shake hands.
Now, Spencer was gently tending to him, taking care of him in a way that was both completely innocent and one of the hottest things that had ever happened to Jesse at the same time.
Aside from that, it was nice. Spencer cared about him, obviously, or he wouldn’t be bothering to massage Jesse’s hands. Jesse wasn’t exactly sure how to feel about that. He loved it, but he knew he wasn’t supposed to be letting himself get any more attached to Spencer than he already was.
“There,” Spencer said softly when he was done. “Better?”
The tips of Jesse’s ears burned. “Yeah,” he said.
It was better, but it was also worse.
He was supposed to be forgetting that he liked it when Spencer touched him. He was supposed to be forgetting the strange, sweet scent of his skin, the way he gasped and sighed and moaned when Jesse put just the right pressure in just the right spots.
Spencer just being around was making that hard. Which wasn’t Spencer’s fault. And it wasn’t as though they could totally avoid each other, either. Jesse just needed to improve his willpower.
“Uh, thanks,” Jesse added a moment later, realizing he was just staring at Spencer’s shoulder, trying not to look him in the eye. “Sorry. Tired.”
“You’ve had a busy few days.” Spencer smiled kindly. “It’s okay. I’m not going to judge you for being a little slow to react.”
“I just really need a nap. I was gonna stick around and get some work done, but I don’t know how much good it’d do right now.”
Spencer hummed. “We should get a couch for the office. For power naps. Studies show they’re amazing for productivity. I mean, uh. If that’s okay with you?�
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“Oh, uh, yeah. That sounds like an awesome idea,” Jesse said. He would never have thought of it himself, but it definitely sounded like a good plan. Naps were one of Jesse’s favorite things.
“I’ll put in the paperwork, then. Cassie has one, so it shouldn’t be a problem.”
Jesse nodded. A silence fell between them in the time it took him to think of something to say in response, and then it felt too late. He’d wanted to ask Spencer if they should go grab coffee, but maybe they shouldn’t, anyway.
He really did want to be Spencer’s friend, but he wanted more than that as well. It was harder than he thought to let it go. He’d had a ton of one-night-stands in his life, and only a few of them had ever lead to anything more than that. It was just that he’d had a feeling about Spencer.
Maybe that feeling had been that it’d come back to bite him. Which it had.
“I should go,” Spencer said. “Dozens of confused emails to answer and stuff. If you’re coming back to the office I’ll see you there. Otherwise, tomorrow?”
“Probably tomorrow.” Jesse slung his laptop bag over his shoulder. He’d left a couple of things on his desk, but it wouldn’t hurt to leave them there overnight. In contrast to his relatively neat apartment, Spencer’s desk was covered in stuff, at least half of which seemed to be purely decorative. Jesse figured that meant it was okay for his own desk to be the same. It looked naked as it was now.
“Okay.” Spencer nodded. “Tomorrow, then.” He turned and headed for the door, leaving Jesse standing on his own. There was no lecture directly after his in this room, so there was no rush to leave.
“Bye,” Jesse called after him, for want of something more intelligent to say. He tried not to look at Spencer’s ass as he walked away, but it was a losing battle. No fraternization policy could stop Jesse from wanting Spencer.
The only reason he was paying any attention to it was that it seemed important to Spencer, and there was no point in pushing him into something he didn’t want. This was obviously a vocation for him, and Jesse didn’t want to be the asshole who ruined it.
At least, not unless it was a risk Spencer wanted to take, too. Jesse’s experience told him that fraternization policies existed to cover administrative asses, not to actually prevent employees from screwing.
He wasn’t about to break it if Spencer wasn’t, though. He’d never forgive himself if he ruined Spencer’s career for the sake of sex. No matter how cute Spencer’s butt was.
Chapter Seven
After a few days of Jesse being quiet and distant, Spencer had finally decided to do something about it. It wasn’t much, and maybe it wouldn’t be the right thing, but he had to do something. Anything to show Jesse that he was trying to make an effort. And that he was sorry about the way things were turning out for him.
He understood why Jesse wasn’t happy with him. He wasn’t happy about the situation either. One of them had to extend an olive branch.
Or in this case, a Venus Flytrap. Spencer set the tiny potted plant on Jesse’s desk, which was still practically bare when he wasn’t working at it. That made Spencer feel guilty as well, as though he hadn’t made Jesse feel welcome or comfortable enough to make himself at home. Hopefully, his gift would help. He didn’t want Jesse to feel uncomfortable at work.
He’d be in soon, since his drop-in hours started in about fifteen minutes.
That was just as well, because Spencer had been nervous about taking care of the Flytrap overnight. He wasn’t sure how much longer an apparently-delicate plant would survive with him. Jesse would know how to look after it, though.
As if summoned by the thought, Jesse opened the office door and came in, holding two take-away cups of coffee. He set one down on Spencer’s desk as he went past without saying a word.
Obviously, Spencer wasn’t the only one who thought it was time to mend fences.
“Thank you,” he said, taking the cup and holding it close, letting the coffee warm him. There was a space heater in the office, but previously, it had been under Spencer’s desk. Now, it was between his desk and Jesse’s. Spencer wasn’t nearly as warm, but at least Jesse wasn’t freezing over.
A better solution was getting a second space heater, so he’d put in a request for one along with the couch. He’d never asked for anything from the college before, he figured he was entitled to one or two perks now. Especially since they weren’t just for him.
“Cream and sugar, right?” Jesse asked.
“Right,” Spencer said. “How did you know?”
“I ran into your friend, Cassie, downstairs. She told me.” Jesse paused as he finally noticed the plant on his desk. “Is this for me?”
“Yes,” Spencer said. “I… might have done a little research into you, and I thought you’d like it.”
Jesse picked the pot up to take a closer look. He reached out and stroked one of the heads, careful not to trigger it to close. While he’d been trying to find a supplier, Spencer had learned that you weren’t supposed to tease them, because it stressed them out.
He’d felt a strange kinship with it since then, but still wasn’t confident he could keep it alive even if he was inclined to. It was enough effort keeping himself alive. He couldn’t be responsible for a plant as well.
“I love it,” Jesse said. “Thank you.” He set the pot back down on his desk, on the edge that caught the sun. Spencer figured it’d be happy here, since there were often dead bugs on the windowsill. It wouldn’t have any shortage of food.
“You make so much more sense to me now that I know carnivorous plants are your thing,” Spencer said. He’d felt strange looking into Jesse’s work, and most of it had gone right over his head, but he’d gotten the general idea: Jesse was into plants that ate things.
To Spencer, that was adorable. He could imagine Jesse getting excited about dinosaurs, too.
“Hey, they’re cool. They like to live in places where basically nothing else can, and they eat bugs. What’s not to like?”
“I wasn’t saying they weren’t!” Spencer laughed. “I just think they’re very you.”
Jesse grinned at him and was clearly about to say something when he was interrupted by a knock on the door. Probably one of his students.
That was a shame. They finally seemed to have gotten past the weirdness of the last few days, and it would have been nice to bask in it a little longer.
“Come in,” Jesse called out.
To Spencer’s surprise, Gwen came through the door. She was definitely not one of their students.
“Oh, hey.” Jesse smiled at her.
Spencer looked away pointedly, pretending to focus on his laptop. Gwen wasn’t here for him. She was here for Jesse.
“I just thought I’d come see how you were settling in,” Gwen said. “Cute plant.”
“Thank you,” Jesse said cheerfully. “Professor Harris gave it to me. I did my PhD on carnivorous plants. Not this one, but I’ve got a soft spot for them, too.”
“It’s a Venus Flytrap, yeah?” Gwen asked.
Spencer tried harder to focus. He didn’t want to watch Gwen flirting with Jesse. He wanted to be the one flirting with Jesse. It wasn’t fair that she got to.
It wasn’t fair that she was a lot prettier than he was, either, and that Jesse was obviously interested.
Jealousy was an ugly, unpleasant feeling, and Spencer hated himself for it. The fact that he couldn’t have Jesse shouldn’t have to mean that Jesse had to be miserable or abstinent as well.
Spencer was pretty sure dating a student—even a student not in your class—was even more against the rules, but he wasn’t going to tell on them.
That was the only danger, really. That someone would find out and tell. For Jesse, it probably wasn’t an issue—he was a visiting professor, not on a tenure track. No one had to be afraid that he’d get a position they were fighting over. Spencer, on the other hand, knew that there were people in his department who’d happily see him dead if it meant they weren’t competi
ng for tenure anymore.
Professor Watts, for one. Spencer would not have wanted to meet him in a dark alleyway.
He’d be the first person to tell on them if he thought he had even a tiny shred of proof that Spencer had done something wrong. Which meant that Spencer couldn’t afford to do anything wrong.
If that meant he had to become a monk, so be it. Tenure was an impossible dream for most academics his age, and he actually had a shot at it. He couldn’t risk that over a boy. No matter how attractive he was.
It didn’t mean he had to be happy about not getting to have both the career and the guy he wanted.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you around, then,” Gwen said. Spencer had missed most of the conversation, too busy brooding to listen, but she didn’t seem happy.
Maybe Jesse wasn’t interested in her after all. He was a naturally friendly person, it didn’t have to mean anything when he greeted someone enthusiastically.
That wasn’t quite enough to quiet down the spark of jealousy Spencer had felt when he’d seen it, but it did help.
“She seems nice,” Spencer said, wanting to get a better idea of how Jesse actually felt about her.
“Yeah,” Jesse agreed. “But she’s got trouble written all over her. And she’s way too young for me.”
Spencer raised an eyebrow. “You talk like you’re ancient.”
“I’m only twenty-nine,” Jesse said. “But she can’t be more than what? Twenty-two?”
Spencer considered for a moment, and decided that seemed about right. She’d only been at the college for a semester, as far as Spencer knew, but Cassie thought she was promising. She’d probably be a lot more promising if she wasn’t flirting with professors outside of her area of study.
If nothing else, it was way more useful to flirt with professors in your own field. You could only sleep your way to the top if you picked people who could actually help you.
Spencer wouldn’t have blamed her at all for that, if that was what she was doing. Academia was tough, especially for women in science fields. Even the so-called ‘soft science’ realm of biology wasn’t easy to survive in.
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