Jesse took the hint, opening the lubricant and spreading a generous bead over his fingers. Spencer wasn’t exactly delicate, but he wanted this to be especially comfortable for him. This particular time seemed important.
All their times together had been great, but this was the first after they’d exchanged I love yous. Jesse felt it should be just a tiny bit more special, more careful, more about showing Spencer that he meant it.
Spencer gasped as Jesse made contact, raising his hips to give Jesse space to move his hand under him. Jesse closed his eyes as he slipped his finger inside Spencer, already anticipating what it would be like when it was his cock.
“Feels good,” Spencer said, soft and breathless. “More,” he demanded, pushing back against Jesse’s finger.
“Patience,” Jesse responded, changing his pace to match the movement of Spencer’s hips. “You’ll get what you want.”
Spencer snorted, arching his back off the bed and groaning as he pushed down again. Jesse knew he was being goaded, teased into going faster, but it was working all the same. He was so hard for Spencer, so needy, that holding off was an unprecedented exercise in willpower.
“No one would look at you and think wow, I bet he’s really demanding in bed,” Jesse said, slipping a second finger in beside the first one. Spencer’s breath hitched, strong muscles contracting around Jesse’s fingers for a moment before starting to relax again.
“I’ve got hidden depths.” Spencer licked his lips. “It’s always the quiet ones.”
Jesse laughed at that. It was always the quiet ones, and Spencer was the perfect example of that. In public, he gave off the impression of being meek and shy, until you got to know him. In private, he was happy to beg for Jesse’s cock if he had to, and he could do it without even blushing.
It was really, really hot.
He added a third finger faster than he’d wanted to, knowing that Spencer was getting his way, but not really caring. Really, he was more interested in making Spencer happy than in making him beg. Not that the begging wasn’t fun.
“Come on,” Spencer whined. It was close enough to begging for Jesse. He could feel that Spencer was ready, that he wouldn’t have any trouble taking Jesse’s cock.
That was just as well, because Jesse was getting desperate, too. Spencer always did that to him.
Jesse let his fingers slip out and tore open a condom packet with his teeth and his free hand. He had to bite his lip as he touched his cock to stop himself from coming. Watching Spencer take his fingers so eagerly was always a turn-on
Taking a deep breath, Jesse lined himself up with Spencer and paused, just for a moment, the head of his cock pressed against the entrance to Spencer’s body. He leaned forward, resting his hands either side of Spencer’s shoulders for balance, and then pushing forward.
Jesse’s breath hitched as he sank into Spencer’s warmth, felt strong muscles contracting around him, pulling him closer and holding him in place.
Spencer pulled him closer with one leg, pressing his heel into Jesse’s ass. Jesse grunted, shifting a little to change his angle, get as far inside Spencer as he could in this position. Part of him wanted to stay like this for hours, as close as he could possibly be to Spencer, but he didn’t have the patience for that.
Not when he knew how gorgeous Spencer was when he was being well and truly fucked, how good the sounds he made were, how intense this was going to be between them. He could hardly wait the few seconds they both needed to adjust.
After a moment, Spencer reached out and grasped the back of Jesse’s neck, pulling him down for a kiss. It was all Jesse could do to go with it, let Spencer kiss him hard and open-mouthed, his tongue darting out to swipe over Jesse’s lips before he nipped at them.
Jesse’s hips started moving more or less on their own, spurred on by the kiss, by knowing how much Spencer wanted him. By knowing that somehow, impossibly, Spencer loved him.
Loved him. Loved Jesse.
He’d never gotten this lucky in his life.
“Oh, Jesse,” Spencer moaned, his thighs coming up to tighten around Jesse’s waist, his hands gripping Jesse’s shoulders, fingers digging in, short nails scraping against the skin.
Spencer felt so good, so hot, so tight, that Jesse couldn’t stop himself speeding up. Couldn’t stop himself shifting again, pressing Spencer down into the mattress, gripping the head of the bed, and putting his entire weight behind each stroke.
Every time, Spencer moaned, loud and unashamed, his breath catching, his grip getting tighter and tighter. He didn’t break the kiss for a second, moving one hand to the back of Jesse’s head to keep him in place, only pausing briefly to take a breath before making contact again.
Despite being on top, Jesse was just along for the ride. This was all about Spencer, and he didn’t care. He loved Spencer. He wanted things to be exactly like this forever.
Jesse’s balls were starting to tighten, the tension building deep in his gut suddenly urgent. Spencer was going to make him come, and soon. He could feel Spencer’s cock leaving a trail of precome between their stomachs, the places where they were rubbing together getting slicker and slicker with every thrust.
He wanted Spencer to come. He didn’t need this to last for hours. They were in love, they were staying together, they’d do this hundreds more times. He wanted every one of them to be as intense and urgent and needy, as searingly hot as this was.
“Come on, baby,” he murmured between kisses, putting as much force behind his thrusts as he could. “Come for me.”
“Little more,” Spencer gritted out, his breaths coming in harsh pants. He was concentrating now, too close to kiss anymore, pressing his nose into Jesse’s neck instead. Jesse could feel how tense he was, feel the force of an orgasm coiled up inside him, in his thighs, in the way he was bearing down.
Finally, he heard Spencer moan, felt him arch up hard against his stomach. A rush of warmth between them confirmed that he was coming, but Jesse didn’t pause for a second, pounding into him even through his orgasm, working to draw it out for him. Without having to see it, he could imagine the look on Spencer’s face—the same surprised, awed expression he always wore when he came.
Jesse grunted his way through the next few thrusts, the tail end of Spencer’s orgasm setting him off as well, making him shove hard against Spencer’s body, push himself as far inside as he could go. He bit his lip, hissing as he came so hard he saw stars for a second, the release of tension a dizzying rush to the head.
No one had ever made him come as hard, as often, as Spencer did. Jesse barely had time to roll away from Spencer as his muscles gave out, the effort and the orgasm leaving him wrung out and boneless, his limbs refusing to do anything but rest.
Spencer stayed where he was, and though Jesse couldn’t see him, he could hear him panting to catch his breath.
Jesse’s heart skipped when Spencer reached out and touched his fingertips, his grip weak, but tender.
Both of them stared up at the ceiling, unable to do anything but recover for a good few minutes, their fingers just barely curled against each other.
A few moments later, Spencer started chuckling. “I love having sex with you,” he said. “It feels so good, every time.”
“Agreed,” Jesse said, for lack of anything more eloquent to respond with. His brain was still scrambled from his much-needed orgasm. He’d reached the point where he needed Spencer, where Spencer’s presence, Spencer’s pleasure, made him feel more complete.
It was a good feeling.
They leaned against each other for a few more minutes, before rolling out of bed and heading to the bathroom to clean up. Jesse took on the task of wiping them both down gently, smiling when Spencer gasped at his touch. It was good to be wanted.
“I’m really glad you invited me over tonight,” Spencer said as he pulled his pants back up. “And, uh, I did bring some clothes with me, so I can stay if you want.”
“I want,” Jesse said. “I really, really want.”<
br />
He’d missed Spencer over the weekend, and been worried that he was genuinely, seriously sick. It was a relief to have him near again, to be sure he was okay.
Jesse wanted to be sure Spencer was okay all the time. He wanted this to continue, for as long as Spencer would have him.
“So, pizza and Netflix?” Spencer asked, apparently as ready to sit and cuddle as Jesse was.
“Pizza and Netflix.” Jesse smiled.
It didn’t matter that they couldn’t go out in public, their dates were still perfect. Just being around Spencer made them perfect.
Secrecy was a small price to pay for Spencer’s love.
Chapter Twenty-One
While Spencer missed Jesse’s presence while he was giving his morning lecture, he had plenty of fond memories of the night before to keep him company. Jesse had always been warm and affectionate, but something had changed now that they’d been honest with each other about their feelings.
Jesse was in love with him. He was in love with Jesse. Spencer couldn’t have asked for a better outcome.
Last night, he’d felt true contentment while he was sitting on Jesse’s couch, curled up beside him and assured of his place in Jesse’s heart. Their relationship might not have been perfect, but what relationship was? There was nothing between the two of them holding them back, now. Just a stupid workplace policy.
Spencer could hardly remember being this happy in his life before now. The man of his dreams was by some miracle in love with him, and they were both managing to be open and honest enough with each other to keep the relationship from collapsing—one or two hiccups aside.
He’d be better about communication in the future, now that he was sure about how Jesse felt. Now that he wasn’t expecting to lose him.
A knock on the door pulled Spencer out of his thoughts about the evening before. “Come in,” he said, pushing his glasses up his nose to face whoever it was. He didn’t need them all the time, but he thought they made him look older and wiser around his students, so he liked to wear them at work.
The door opened, and Professor Watts came through it. Spencer’s mood sank immediately.
“Hello,” he said, trying to pretend that Watts wasn’t the last person he wanted to see right now. He’d hoped it would be Jesse, but now that he glanced at the clock, he realized Jesse would be teaching for at least another half hour.
“Just the man I was looking for,” Watts said. Spencer didn’t like his tone. It had the hint of a sneer about it, the sense that he’d gotten one over on someone.
“What can I do for you?” Spencer asked. He wasn’t inclined to do anything for him, but in the interest of professional courtesy, he had to at least pretend that he would.
“You can take a look at something.” Watts pulled out his phone, tapped on it a few times, and then put it down on Spencer’s desk.
Spencer’s stomach flipped over as he looked down at it. It was a photo of him and Jesse, hugging, taken through the small window in the door.
“What is this?” Spencer asked, knowing that pretending he didn't know was useless.
“Well, to me it looks like proof that you have an inappropriate relationship with Professor Scott,” Watts said.
Spencer swallowed. “To me, it looks like two adults hugging. I know no one ever wants to hug you, but friends do that. Professor Scott is my friend.”
Watts raised an eyebrow. “And what if I let HR decide whether or not this looks appropriate to them?”
As much as he would have liked to think that he could explain it away, Spencer knew better. In the photo, he had his head resting against Jesse’s shoulder, with Jesse’s arms wrapped around him. It didn’t look like a friendly hug.
He knew when it had been taken. Yesterday, when he’d been confessing his feelings.
It hurt to have such a tender moment turned against him. It had been one of the best of his life, and now it had the potential to ruin him.
“Okay, fine. What do you want? How do I make this go away?”
If Watts wanted something, it was better to give it to him than try to hold out and risk that he really would go to HR about it. It was a dangerous road to go down, but he was already on a dangerous road to begin with.
“Well, you could resign. It’d save me the effort of getting you fired, and you could keep your reputation.”
Spencer's stomach bottomed out. He’d been expecting an attempt at blackmail, but not this. Didn’t he have anything Watts wanted?
He did, he supposed. He had a shot at making tenure in a few years. If he was gone, Watts was the only person in line in the department.
“You can’t be serious,” Spencer said. “What’s the point of coming in here and gloating if you don’t want something?”
“I'm not gloating,” Watts said, though his smirk suggested otherwise. “I'm warning you, as a professional courtesy. So you can start looking for a new job.”
A wave of anger rose up in Spencer's throat, making it burn. Watts had no right to hold this over him—a real professional wouldn't do anything so petty—but Spencer couldn't do anything to stop it. Technically, he’d been doing the wrong thing, and Watts had evidence.
This was his own fault, the result of a decision he’d made of his own free will, and now he had to face the consequences.
“Fine,” Spencer said. “At least have the decency to get out of my office.”
It wasn't a mature or diplomatic reaction, but he could see that diplomacy would get him nowhere. The petty victory of getting to kick Watts out would have to be enough for now.
“I'm going,” Watts said, smirking again. “Say goodbye to Professor Scott for me. I won't miss either of you.”
Spencer barely stopped himself from growling as Watts left. Of course he wouldn't miss them. People actually liked Jesse. They liked Spencer, too, though he was never sure why.
He should have known that he couldn't just have something nice for once. From the moment he met Jesse, Spencer had felt that he was too good to be true. Ignoring that feeling was what had gotten him into this situation.
Spencer got out his phone to text Jesse, let him know what was going on before Watts could spring it on him as well, but his hands were shaking. Everything he typed came out as gibberish, too misspelled even for autocorrect to salvage.
After trying for several minutes, he eventually threw the phone down in disgust. His inability to communicate was only making the shaking worse. Spencer could feel tears stinging his eyes, catching in the back of his throat, making his chest tight. They weren't falling yet, but they would.
It was all over. Watts would expose his secret, and Jesse would leave him out of shame, and he’d have neither the job he loved nor the man he loved to comfort him within, probably, a few short days.
He’d been so, so stupid to believe he could have something this good without paying a price. The price was so impossibly high that Spencer wasn’t sure he’d be able to pay it. He wasn’t sure that he could live without both Jesse and his career.
But what else could he do? He’d been caught, and the most valuable thing to the person who’d caught him was his complete and utter humiliation and destruction. There was no negotiating, no wriggling his way out of it.
Helplessness washed over him, the deep, uncomfortable knowledge that there was absolutely nothing he could do paralyzing him. He couldn't fix this. This was the end, and it would tear his and Jesse's relationship apart by the end of it.
He was at the mercy of a man who hated him, and he wasn't expecting gentle treatment.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jesse walked into his office to find Spencer crying and immediately went to comfort him, sitting beside him and pulling him as far into his lap as Spencer would allow.
The crying didn’t stop or even slow down—if anything, it got more intense. Jesse didn’t mind Spencer crying if he needed to, but he’d never seen him do it before. Whatever had happened, it had to be serious.
“You can tell me about i
t when you’re ready,” Jesse said, rubbing circles into Spencer’s back. It wasn’t that he wanted Spencer to stop crying—it was just that he wanted to stop him from being upset, to fix whatever had gone wrong.
Spencer sniffed, swallowing, and then dried his eyes with the sleeve of his cardigan. Jesse got his water bottle out of his bag and handed it to him. He watched as Spencer drank greedily, huge gulps making his throat work.
Red-eyed and tear-stained, Spencer looked so much smaller than he really was. It made Jesse want to wrap him in a blanket and protect him from anything that could hurt him, though he knew Spencer wouldn’t appreciate being treated like a child. At least he seemed to be calming down.
“Take your time,” Jesse said, seeing Spencer go to speak but fail at the last second several times. Jesse could feel his own heart breaking for Spencer, even before he knew what was going on.
“I’m so sorry,” Spencer said, his voice rough. “Watts knows.”
Jesse took a moment to figure out what Spencer was saying. His stomach dropped as it hit him, cold fear gripping his chest. Professor Watts was basically Spencer’s arch-nemesis. He’d always been civil to Jesse, but even that civility had an edge to it. An edge of malice, distrust, dislike.
The only thing Jesse really knew about him was that he didn’t like Spencer, which meant that Jesse wasn’t inclined to like him.
If Watts knew about them, that meant trouble.
“What happened?” Jesse asked. He needed to know exactly what was going on before he could start to figure out how to fix it.
“Watts came in here with a photo of us hugging. You remember, from yesterday?” Spencer sniffed, sipping at the water Jesse had given him again. “And I asked him what he wanted, and he said the only thing he was interested in was my resignation. Or words to that effect.”
Jesse swallowed. If he had a photo, that didn’t leave a lot of room to fight him.
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