Tilly True

by Dilly Court

  The tea was stewed and even the addition of a little sugar could not disguise its bitter taste, but Tilly knew this was a luxury and she drank it down to the black leaves at the bottom of the cup.

  ‘There’s nothing like a cup of tea to make things seem a bit better,’ Nellie said, eyeing Tilly with her head on one side.

  Anticipating bad news, Tilly put down her cup. ‘There’s something you aren’t telling me. What is it?’

  ‘I didn’t have no choice, ducks. We was in a bad way around Christmas and she come to the door looking for you.’

  ‘Who did? Who came looking for me?’

  ‘That woman what took you in. Mrs Jameson, her that owns the gentlemen’s club in Blossom Court. She said she had something to tell you, something that you ought to know, only she wouldn’t say what. Anyway, she come in and I give her a cup of tea, like you do to a visitor. She looks around and says, "I can see as how you’re having a bit of a difficult time, Mrs True, and being a friend of Mr Barney Palgrave, I’d like to help if I can." Ever so nice she was, Tilly.’

  ‘What did she do? Tell me.’

  ‘She offered Lizzie a job in her establishment. She said she’d have her trained up to be a parlour maid and she give Lizzie two months’ wages there and then, on the spot. So Lizzie give it me and I was able to pay the back rent what was owing. Lizzie was really happy to go with her. Tilly, why are you looking at me like that? Did I do wrong?’

  Chapter Twenty

  Nellie’s face was a picture of shock and horror as Tilly told her bluntly that the nice Mrs Jameson was the keeper of a brothel. She was a callous dealer in human flesh making a handsome profit out of her clients’ depravity. By the time Tilly had finished telling her mother about the rape, Nellie was in floods of tears, even though Tilly had spared her the more painful and degrading details. Nellie was even more horrified to realise that she had been duped into allowing her twelve-year-old daughter to go into service in such a house, but even so she begged Tilly not to undertake the journey to Ludgate Hill until morning. To venture out alone, at night, dressed like a rich woman, would be to court disaster. Reluctantly, Tilly listened to common sense. After all, Lizzie had been living in Jessie’s establishment for almost two months; one more night was not going to make much difference. Tomorrow morning, first thing, she would go to Blossom Court and bring Lizzie home; she would give Jessie what for and no mistake.

  There was little time to worry about Lizzie when Winnie, Jim and Dan returned home from school. They threw themselves at Tilly, hugging her and clinging to her as if they were afraid she might disappear again. Delving into her valise, Tilly brought out the presents that she had bought in a bazaar near Victoria station in Bombay: glass beads for Winnie and Lizzie and ebony elephants with ivory tusks for Jim and Dan. Tilly placed Lizzie’s necklace on the mantelshelf for safety, together with a brass vesta case for Pops, which she would give him when he awakened from his nap. Lastly, Tilly produced a cashmere shawl for Ma, wrapping it round her mother’s thin shoulders. Nellie sat there fingering the fine material with tears running down her cheeks, declaring that she had never seen anything like it in her life. Then Jim said he was starving and that set the other two off. Tilly sat back in her chair, smiling; it was good to be home, but she must be practical and the family was in desperate need of food and fuel.

  Having changed out of her elegant travelling clothes and wearing a plain black skirt and blouse, with her mother’s old shawl wrapped round her head, Tilly went with the children to buy food, candles and coal. There was very little left of the money that Barney had given her, but more than enough to buy pie, mash and pease pudding for everyone. When they arrived home laden with packages, Tilly set about lighting the fire and Nellie fetched plates from the scullery. The kindling was damp and at first the fire sputtered and belched clouds of soot onto the hearth, but eventually, with Dan working the bellows, the flames licked round the coals and the kettle began to bubble on the hob. Nellie made a pot of tea and Tilly couldn’t wait to take a cup upstairs to Pops. The look of wonder and delight in his eyes, as he awakened to see her standing beside the bed, made Tilly burst into tears and it was a while before either of them could speak.

  Sitting round the fire after supper, Tilly held Pops’s hand while she regaled them all with stories of her adventures in India. Since the truth was too painful and humiliating to recount, Tilly gave full rein to her imagination. Her descriptions of the sights and sounds of India were true enough, but the events were spun into a series of tales in which she was the heroine and Barney the dashing hero. Even so, the hero seemed to be away rather a lot, fighting the murderous tribesmen on the frontier, and it was Clem who was always there in the background, solid and reliable. Ma said nothing but she did raise her eyebrows once or twice, and Pops hung on her every word, exclaiming now and then that he had always thought a lot of Clem; he was a good bloke, an honest waterman turned soldier, the salt of the earth.

  That night, sleeping in her old room and sharing the mattress with Winnie, and with the boys snoring gently in the corner, Tilly couldn’t sleep for worrying about Lizzie. Common sense may have prevailed, stopping her from a frantic dash to Blossom Court, but Lizzie was only just twelve. Tilly prayed that Jessie would not be so wicked as to sell a mere child into prostitution. Eventually, soothed by the steady patter of English rain on the roof slates, Tilly drifted off to sleep, but her dreams were anything but sweet. She was caught in the monsoon, running through the back streets of Rawalpindi, looking for Barney. She opened her mouth to call his name but no sound came and she was seized with panic. Faceless forms reached out to claw at her clothes, and, although in the distance she could see the way out of the maze, no matter how fast she ran the end of the street seemed to get further and further away. Someone was calling her name. Tilly opened her eyes with a start and found herself looking up into Jim’s freckled face.

  ‘Wake up, Tilly. There’s something going on downstairs.’

  Struggling into a cotton wrap, Tilly followed Jim down the narrow staircase into the living room. Dripping puddles of rainwater from his sodden pea jacket onto the bare floorboards, Abel stood in the middle of the room, clutching his cap in his hands. He looked up as Tilly came down the stairs and his dark eyebrows drew together in a scowl. ‘So you’re back then?’

  ‘I’m back. What’s going on?’

  ‘It’s Bert,’ Nellie said, as Abel did not seem inclined to answer. ‘He’s had a seizure.’

  ‘He can’t speak and he can’t hardly move,’ Abel said, shifting from one foot to the other. ‘She’s going barmy, says she don’t know what to do, what with the nipper and all.’

  ‘Poor Emmie, that’s all she needs, what with her being seven months gone and little Diamond not even a year old.’ Nellie cast an anxious glance at Tilly. ‘One of us will have to go to her, but I daren’t miss a morning’s work or I’ll lose me job.’

  ‘Don’t care which of you it is, but I got better things to do than hang about here.’ Jamming his cap on his head, Abel made for the door.

  ‘Hold on a minute.’ Running after him, Tilly barred his exit. ‘Give me a minute to get dressed and I’ll come with you, but only if you do something for me first.’

  Abel stared at her for a moment, then a slow grin spread across his face and he eyed her up and down, licking his lips. ‘I’ve always got time for the other thing.’

  ‘That’s not what I meant, you big twerp,’ Tilly snapped, clutching her wrap tightly at the neck. ‘You take me first to Blossom Court to fetch Lizzie and then I’ll go and see Emmie.’

  Abel’s mouth drooped at the corners and he looked as though he would refuse, but Tilly stood her ground, giving him an unblinking stare until he looked away, grunting his assent.

  ‘Wait for me on the cart,’ she said. ‘I’ll get dressed and I’ll be with you in two ticks.’ She ran upstairs without waiting for an answer.

  Minutes later, she was fastening her fur-lined cape over her travelling clothes. She set t
he fur hat at an angle on her head: she would show Jessie Jameson that she had come up in the world, and was now a married woman of some standing. She kissed Ma on the cheek, telling her not to worry and left the house, closing the door behind her.

  It was pitch dark outside and the rain had turned to sleet, but it was too early for the streets to be crowded with the usual horse-drawn traffic, and they made good time to Blossom Court. Abel drove in sullen silence, and Tilly left him waiting on the cart while she went to hammer on Jessie’s door.

  Wilson opened it, staring hard at Tilly. ‘No need to break the door down.’ Her fierce expression dissolved into an incredulous grin. ‘Heavens above! Is it really you, miss?’

  ‘It’s me all right, Wilson, and I’ve come for my sister.’ Pushing past her, Tilly strode down the passage towards the green baize door with Wilson running after her.

  ‘Please, Miss Tilly, you can’t go there.’

  Shaking off Wilson’s hand, Tilly pushed through the door and ran down the steps to the basement kitchen. The heat from the range and steam from bubbling pans rose up in a cloud, almost taking her breath away. The cook stopped kneading bread dough and stared at her open-mouthed.

  ‘Where’s Lizzie? What have you done with my sister?’

  ‘I’m sorry, Mrs Malone,’ Wilson gasped. ‘I tried to stop this person, but she wouldn’t have none of it.’

  ‘Get out of my kitchen. Wilson, fetch Mrs Jameson or call a constable.’ Cook picked up a rolling pin, brandishing it at Tilly.

  ‘Yes, fetch a constable,’ Tilly called after Wilson as she scurried from the room. ‘I’m sure the police would be interested to learn of a young girl held against her will in a place like this.’

  ‘Get out of here this instant.’ Cook threw a ball of dough at Tilly, narrowly missing her head.

  Undaunted, Tilly took a step towards her. ‘Where is she? Where is Lizzie? I’m not leaving without her.’

  ‘Tilly?’ Lizzie’s pale face peeped round the corner of the scullery door. ‘Oh, Tilly.’

  Holding out her hand to Lizzie, Tilly glared at Cook. ‘Put that thing down, you don’t frighten me. Come on, ducks, we’re leaving.’

  Scuttling across the floor with her head bent as if she expected Cook to take a swipe at her, Lizzie flung herself at Tilly, sobbing.

  ‘It’s all right, ducks. I’m taking you home.’ With her arm round Lizzie’s heaving shoulders, Tilly was about to mount the stairs when the baize door flew open and Jessie stood there, arms akimbo.

  ‘So you’re here again, causing trouble.’

  ‘I’ve come to take my sister home where she belongs.’

  ‘You can’t do that. I had your mother’s permission to employ Lizzie.’

  ‘My mum didn’t know what sort of house you ran, but I do and I’m taking my sister home, where she belongs.’ Dragging Lizzie behind her, Tilly marched up the stairs and out through the baize door.

  Jessie came after them, her voice raised in anger. ‘Just who do you think you are? You can’t barge into my house and steal my servant.’

  Tilly stopped, spinning round to face her. ‘You’re a wicked woman, Jessie Jameson, and I don’t know what Barney saw in you.’

  ‘He may have taken a shine to you but you’re just another little tart as far as Barney is concerned. He’ll come back to me in the end, he always does.’

  ‘Not this time he won’t.’ Holding out her left hand, Tilly wiggled her fourth finger so that her rings glinted in the light of the chandelier. ‘That’s right, Jessie. Barney married me. I’m his wife and you’ll never see him again.’

  Jessie stared at the rings and then she threw back her head and let out a howl of laughter. ‘You poor sad cow. Did you really believe a toff like Barney would marry a common little trollop like you?’

  Lizzie tugged at Tilly’s hand. ‘Let’s go, Tilly. I don’t want to stay here not a minute longer.’

  ‘Wait for me outside,’ Tilly said, opening the door and giving Lizzie a gentle push in the right direction. ‘Abel’s waiting with the cart. I won’t be a minute.’

  Lizzie hesitated for a moment and then ran down the steps to climb up on the cart beside Abel. Tilly turned on Jessie, whose words had struck cold fear through her heart, more painful than a knife thrust. Not that she believed her for a moment, but there was something in Jessie’s confident manner that shook her to her core. ‘Say what you like, Jessie, but I’ve got the marriage certificate to prove it’s legal.’

  Jessie curled her lip. ‘Married you quick, did he? Let me see, I bet it was in the register office at Holborn with the faithful Bootle in attendance and witnessed by Mrs B and a third party. Bootle wouldn’t dare put his signature to a document that he knew very well was a forgery.’

  ‘You don’t know what you’re saying.’

  ‘Yes I do, you silly mare. He did the very same thing to me once, a good few years ago when I coughed up the money to pay off his creditors. He was still a student then and didn’t dare go to his old man who would have cut him off without a penny.’

  ‘But you’re old! He wouldn’t have married you. He just wouldn’t have done such a thing.’

  ‘I may have been a few years older than Barney, but I’d got money and experience. We’re good together and I know that he’ll always come back to me.’

  Balling her fists at her sides and curbing the desire to slap Jessie’s spiteful face, Tilly forced herself to keep calm. ‘You’re just jealous. Barney loves me and I don’t care what you say, we’re married, all legal and proper and I’m just waiting for him to send word for me to join him in India.’

  ‘You’ll be waiting until hell freezes over then, my girl.’

  Shrugging her shoulders, Tilly started down the steps.

  ‘You poor stupid cow,’ Jessie called after her. ‘If you don’t believe me, go and see Bootle. You’ll save yourself a lot of grief.’

  Tilly felt as though she had fallen into a deep pit of despair. She tried hard to dismiss Jessie’s revelations as the spiteful ramblings of a jealous woman, but the seeds of doubt had been sown in her mind. She barely heard what Lizzie was saying to her on the way back to Red Dragon Passage, automatically making the necessary responses as Lizzie gabbled on about her miserable time as a scullery maid. Having seen her safely into the house, Tilly left Lizzie with Pops and hurried out to clamber back on the cart next to Abel, who drove them to Wapping in stony silence. For once, Tilly was thankful for his taciturn nature.

  When they arrived in Duck’s Foot Lane, Abel tugged on the reins bringing Neptune to a halt outside the house. He leapt down onto the pavement, leaving Tilly to clamber down unaided. As he started to walk off towards the docks, Tilly called out to him. ‘Aren’t you coming in?’

  Abel stopped, turning slowly to scowl at her. ‘I don’t live here no more.’

  ‘But aren’t you going to stay and help your dad?’

  ‘Did the old bugger ever do anything for me? I done me bit. I fetched you, didn’t I? From now on you can look after him and that stupid bitch he went and married. I’ve found me a widow-woman with a place of her own south of the river in Bermondsey.’ Shoving his hands in his pockets, Abel ambled off, whistling tunelessly.

  Left alone with Neptune, who turned his head and gave her a baleful stare, Tilly shuddered at the sight of the tall, narrow house with its dark cellar and harrowing memories. But she must not think about that. Emily needed her and she must put all her personal problems aside for the moment at least. Hitching Neptune’s nosebag over his head, Tilly left him to his own devices and knocked on the door.

  ‘Tilly. Oh, Tilly, I’m so glad you come.’ Emily flung her arms around Tilly and burst into tears.

  ‘Don’t cry, Emmie. I’m here to help you.’

  Holding Tilly by the hand, Emily dragged her into the narrow passage that led to the kitchen. Diamond was sitting on a piece of sacking in the middle of the floor chewing on a beef bone.

  ‘She’s teething,’ Emily said, sniffing and wiping her eyes o
n her apron. ‘What with Diamond crying all the time with her sore gums and him upstairs more helpless than a baby, and the new one kicking and punching me insides like it wants to get out already, I’m at me wits’ end.’

  ‘Sit down and I’ll make you a cup of tea,’ Tilly said, casting around for the teapot in the jumble of crockery on the kitchen table. The untidiness of the room was in stark contrast to the neatness and order that Emily had first brought to the house.

  ‘I know, it’s a mess, but I can’t cope, Tilly. I dunno what to do, I really don’t.’

  ‘Sit down and take the weight off your feet,’ Tilly advised, eyeing Emily’s swollen belly. ‘Don’t get in a state. We’ll sort it out between us.’

  Emily flopped down on a chair. ‘And there’s the business to run. Abel’s a pig and he won’t help. If the business goes under we’ll starve.’

  ‘Keep calm. Just keep calm. There’s always a way.’

  An hour later, with the kitchen reasonably tidy and the floor swept, Tilly took a seat at the table. Emily sat with Diamond suckling at her breast, making soft guzzling noises. The sight of them together brought the pain of losing her own child flooding back and Tilly had to look away, biting her lip in an effort to prevent herself from crying. She had fought so hard to put her loss behind her but it was still there, a raw wound inside her that felt as though it would never heal and was made worse by the knowledge that Barney had not shared her grief. If she were to admit the truth, she knew that he was relieved that there would be no child: he had not said as much, but then he had not needed to. The only other person in whom she might have confided was Clem; she had not even told Ma about the loss of her baby. It was almost impossible to put her feelings into words, but she felt that Clem would have understood. If only he were here now – not for herself, of course, but for his father and Emily who desperately needed his help now that Abel had deserted them. Clem would know what to do, but he was far away in a military hospital in Meerut and Tilly knew that it was up to her and her alone to sort things out.