His Reason to Stay: In the Line of Duty, Book 6

by Cathryn Fox

  “He taught me to read, to tie my shoes, to kill the monsters in the closet. He stood up for me on the playground. He gave me his Popsicle when mine fell. He looked out for me. When he needed your approval, all I did was make sure he got it.”

  “You’re a good solider and a good brother, always going above and beyond. But maybe it’s time for you to jump on what you want and find the happiness you and Rachel both deserve.” His father dropped down beside him.

  “Dad…” The cords in his neck were strung so tight it was hard to talk.

  “It’s time to let go of the past. You need to forgive Rachel and yourself.”

  “I forgive her.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “She never meant to hurt me.”

  “Just like you never meant to hurt your brother. He knows that, Kyle.”

  Kyle lifted his head and met his father’s weary eyes. “Yeah?”

  His father nodded. “He’d want you to be happy, and he’d want Rachel and Ava taken care of.”

  “You think so?”

  “Yes. So what will make you happy, son?”

  “Taking care of Rachel and Ava.”

  “Then what are you still doing here?”

  He fisted his hands and pounded them together. “I ran out on her. I fucking ran out when she told me. She said she couldn’t handle me running out on her again, and I did it anyways. I am such an asshole.”

  “You needed time to think. But now that you’ve had time to figure out what you want, you need to go back, and make this right. I want my family back, son.”

  “What if I’m too late?”

  “What if you’re not?”

  He sniffed and wiped his face with the back of his hand. Joints cracking from sitting on his knees so long, he climbed to his feet and turned to his father. “Thank you.” He held his arms out and his father pulled him in for a hug.

  He pulled back and turned Kyle toward his truck. “Go get her. Go get your family.”

  With renewed purpose, he hurried to his truck. It was late, but before he went to her, there was one stop he needed to make first. One girl that could very well help him get back into Rachel and Ava’s life.

  Close to an hour later he parked his truck on the street, and glanced at Rachel’s house. All the lights were off. Shit, what if she wouldn’t let him in, or worse, had taken off to someplace where he could never find them. He still had his key, and would use it if he had to, but he’d prefer it if Rachel welcomed him back in. He looked at the girl sitting beside him.

  “I’ll be right back, okay?” She turned from him and stared at the dark house, shifting anxiously like she could feel Kyle’s tension.

  He walked along her driveway, but a noise at the back of the house, a half cry, half hiccup sound caught his attention. He picked up the pace and darted around the back. The light outside the back door was on and he looked up at the deck to find it empty, then he darted a glance around the semi-lit yard.

  The noise sounded again and he turned toward the tree house. The light fanning out in the yard reached the small door he’d built for Ava. Rachel. Jesus Christ. She was in the tree house, and she was crying.

  “Rach,” he said quietly, and the noise stopped abruptly. Three steps took him to the towering tree and he braced his hands on the tree house door, glancing inside as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. “Hey,” he whispered.

  “Hey.”

  “Can I come in?”

  She sniffed. “No.”

  His heart crashed against his ribcage. “Rach, come on. Please let me come in.”

  “What do you want?”

  “I want to talk.” She went quiet and he said, “Please. You don’t have to say anything. Just listen, okay?”

  A beat and then, “Fine.”

  He listened to her clothes rustle as she moved over to make room for him. Hoisting himself up, he pushed through the opening and sat beside her. He mimicked her position by bending his legs and resting his elbows on his knees. They sat in silence for a long time, the sounds on the streets and a dog barking a few houses away breaking the uneasy quiet.

  “I’m kind of a dick,” he said, cutting through the tension between them.

  A noise crawled out of her throat and he couldn’t tell whether it was a laugh, hiccup, or cry. She stayed quiet, and he just listened to them breathe as their bodies touched.

  When she finally spoke she came back with, “If you’re waiting for me to voice an argument, I’m not going to.”

  “That’s because you’re kind of a dick too.”

  “I am not.” She whacked him. He feigned hurt, but it filled his heart���reminded him of old times.

  “Actually, you kind of are.” He angled his head her way and playfully nudged her with his shoulder. “You know, for not telling me I had a daughter and all.”

  A breath shuddered past her lips and washed over his face. “Kyle—”

  “But you know what. We’re both dicks, and it doesn’t matter.” He shifted his body, turning to face her as he crossed his legs. “Because I love you, Rach. I love you so fucking much. I’m so sorry I left when you needed me to stay.” He reached out and pulled one of her hands into his lap. “Not just tonight but four years ago, and again after James’s death. I don’t want to live without you and Ava in my life. I love you, Rachel. I love Ava. Please tell me I didn’t fuck this all up for us. And if I did, tell me how to make it right. I’m not leaving here,” he pointed down, toward the tree house floor. “I’m not leaving this spot until you tell me I can stay, because every reason I have for staying is here, right in front of me.”

  She straightened her legs and when she glanced past his shoulder, toward the tree house opening, his entire body stiffened. Was she leaving? Jesus Christ, he couldn’t handle it if she turned her back on him the way he had with her so many times.

  But then she crossed her legs and faced him. Her palms went to his face, and she squeezed, squishing his cheeks, a gesture that reminded him so much of his daughter.

  His daughter…

  Ava was his little girl and that made him the luckiest fucking man alive. He didn’t even want to take another breath without her being in his life, squishing his face, laughing when he called her squirt, and teaching her life skills.

  “Kyle,” Rachel said softly. “I think you need to stop hanging around Ava.”

  His heart stopped, air leaving his lungs in a whoosh. As worry flooded him, his throat squeezed and tears pricked his eyes. This couldn’t be happening. “Rachel, please…” he began, choking on his words.

  “You’re starting to talk too much, just like her.” The smile tugging at her mouth helped restart his heart.

  He leaned in, pressed his forehead to hers and cupped the back of her neck. “Rach,” he murmured, brushing his lips over hers as oxygen refilled his lungs. “You scared me.”

  “You scared me too. When you left, I never thought I’d see you again.”

  “I love you so much. I want to stay. I want to go back to school, get a degree, go work in my dad’s office.” He took a breath and let it out slowly. “I want to be your husband, Ava’s daddy. I want to be a real family. Rachel, without you two, I’m nothing.”

  She started to cry again, and he brushed the tears away with his thumb. “Hey,” he whispered. “What’s wrong?”

  “I want all that too, Kyle. I’m just so happy. Ava will be so happy.”

  “Come here,” he pulled her to his lap and held her, memories of that day at the bluff no longer strangling him. They held each other for a long time, exchanging kisses as joyful tears ran down their faces. He inched away, wiped his cheeks, then hers. “Can we go tell her?”

  She nodded. “There’s nothing I’d rather do.”

  “Before we do, I need to talk to you about something else.”

  “What is it?”

  “How about I show you instead.”

  “Kyle—”

  “Come on.” He climbed out of the tree house and held his hand out to help Rachel.
Taking her hand in his and pulling her tight against him, he walked her to the front of her house and led her to the truck. He opened the passenger door and Rachel yelped when Cuddles, aka Marley, jumped out and started running circles around her.

  “Kyle,” she shrieked. “What’s going on?”

  “Meet Cuddles,” he said.

  She shook her head, but he captured her hands. “Just hear me out. I know you work full time, but if I go back to school so I can join Dad then I’ll have odd hours and can take care of her.”

  “You’re going to work at your dad’s firm?”

  He shrugged. “Yeah, I kind of always wanted to.”

  “I know,” she said.

  “You did?”

  “Yeah, I did.”

  “And when I eventually go to work full time we can look at doggy day care.”

  She stared up at him, her eyes wide. “I can’t believe this.”

  “Please say yes. I want to do this for Ava. We’ll take care of her while you’re at work I promise.” He laughed. Jesus, he was actually starting to sound like Ava.

  “Actually, I’ve been thinking.”

  “About?”

  “Working part-time hours. With the office moving, I hate the idea of the longer commute. But that’s not the entire reason. I’ve always worked hard for everything. I never wanted your mother to think I was a gold digger. But you know what, that doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone, least of all someone who has no respect for me.”

  He kissed her. “That’s all going to change.”

  A little surprised look came over her face. “Oh, what makes you say that?”

  “You stood up for yourself and me tonight. You did it with style and respect, Rach. You threw Mom for a loop, and opened her eyes in a lot of ways.” He squeezed her hand. “Everything is changing, and we’re going to be a family.”

  Tears pooled in her eyes again, and he hugged her because there was no one in the world who needed or deserved a family more than Rachel. Cuddles barked and they both glanced down at her.

  “She’s so big.” Rachel laughed. “I think we might need a bigger house.”

  “Whatever you want, Rach. Always.”

  She smiled up at him, went up on her toes and pressed her lips to his. “You. What I want is you. All of you.”

  “So you keep saying.” He grinned, and added, “But give it a month or two after I keep leaving the toilet seat up.”

  She pursed her lips and tapped her chin. “Hmm, come to think of it—”

  “Hey,” he said laughing. “Let’s go.” He looked at Cuddles and tapped his leg. “There’s a little girl that’s going to be very excited to see you.” The dog’s tail wagged harder, like she knew what he was saying.

  Hand in hand, he and Rachel headed to the house, and Cuddles ran ahead like she couldn’t wait to get there. He opened the door and Cuddles bolted through the main level sniffing everything. “Come on, girl.”

  They headed upstairs, and quietly opened Ava’s door, blocking it slightly so Cuddles couldn’t barge in and scare her.

  “Ava,” he whispered. “Are you awake?” Light from the hall spilled in to the room as Ava sat up and rubbed her eyes.

  “Mommy?”

  “I’m here,” Rachel said.

  Rachel walked in and sat on the edge of the bed. “Uncle Kyle has a surprise for you.”

  “Hey, Ava,” he said quietly from the doorway.

  She blinked as Cuddles banged against the door trying to get in.

  “A surprise?”

  He opened the door and Cuddles took off running toward her. Her eyes went wide, and she screamed, “Cuddles!”

  The dog jumped on the bed and started licking her face, and she giggled hard. Kyle crossed the room, and eased Cuddles off her.

  “Mommy, Mommy can I keep her?”

  Kyle lowered himself onto her mattress as Cuddles jumped from the bed and ran around the room sniffing everything. Kyle took her little hand in his.

  “So, Ava, we were thinking maybe I could be your daddy, and we could keep Cuddles. Would you like that?”

  “You’re going to be my daddy?”

  “Yeah, I’m going to be your daddy, Ava.” She squished his face, looked at Rachel, then back at him. “Did Mommy say it was okay?”

  They both laughed hard. “Mommy says it’s okay,” Rachel said.

  Ava kissed his nose. “Daddy,” she squealed.

  The weight behind that one word as it left her mouth was like a healing balm and helped put the last pieces of his heart back together.

  Kyle looked at the two most important people in the world to him, and his heart swelled with all the love they offered him. He would love his brother forever, and always feel his absence, but it was time to let go of the guilt and be the man everyone needed him to be—including James.

  About the Author

  New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Cathryn Fox is a wife, mom, sister, daughter, and friend. She loves dogs, sunny weather, anything chocolate (she never says no to a brownie), pizza, and red wine. She has two teenagers who keep her busy with their never-ending activities, and a husband who is convinced he can turn her into a mixed-martial-arts fan. Cathryn can never find balance in her life, is always trying to find time to go to the gym, can never keep up with emails, Facebook, or Twitter, and tries to write page-turning books that her readers will love.

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  Look for these titles by Cathryn Fox

  Now Available:

  Blood Ties

  One on One

  Dance of the Dragon

  Pleasure Inn

  All Tied Up

  All Worked Up

  All Lit Up

  Whispering Cove

  Wet

  Brazen

  Silk

  Flirty

  Boys of Beachville

  Good at Being Bad

  A Lick of Flame

  Bad Girl Therapy

  In the Line of Duty

  His Obsession Next Door

  His Trouble in Tallulah

  His Strings to Pull

  His Moment to Steal

  His Taste of Temptation

  His Best Friend’s Girl

  Don’t miss the other titles in the In the Line of Duty Series!

  With a little help—and a little kink—from her friend, she might just get her man.

  In the Line of Duty, Book 5

  Skylar Redmond’s Sky Bar is regularly wall-to-wall hot soldiers. Yet she is alone—and getting tired of it. Forget about finding a man who’ll rock her world in the bedroom. She’ll settle for a guy who’s stable, kind and compassionate.

  Too bad that guy still sees her as the pigtailed girl from their youth, not the strong woman she is today. But maybe, with a little help, that’ll change.

  As an ex-military field ambulance technician, Matt James excels at performing under pressure. Pretending to be interested in Skylar to help her capture the attention of his best friend? Piece of cake—because he won’t be faking it. He’s been in love with her since their school yard days, but never pushed it. She deserves someone who can offer her more.

  A touch leads to a kiss, and a kiss to a night that throws a kink—or three—into Sky’s plan. Leaving her wondering if she’s going for the wrong man…and letting the right one slip through her fingers.

  Warning: This book contains a girl with her eyes on the wrong prize, and a half-cocked plan—but definitely not a half-cocked hero.
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  Don’t miss the other titles by Cathryn Fox!

  Unwrap a little holiday wickedness…

  Whispering Cove, Book 8

  The pleasures of Christmas. Love. The two things Jon Wilson doesn’t think he deserves, thanks to a holiday accident that took his parents. Under pressure from his uncle, Jon returns to Whispering Cove for the annual festivities, but he’s counting down the hours until he can hop a Christmas Eve plane back to his Miami medical practice.

  Chef Lila Sheppard left the big city and its fast-talking men for Whispering Cove, hoping to settle down with a nice, small-town boy. Until Mr. Picket Fence appears, though, she’s not opposed to a tango on the wild side. When Jon shows up—gorgeous, hot and temporary—she figures Santa delivered her Christmas present a few days early.

  Soon they’re heating up cold, wintry nights, but as they get lost in each other’s arms, Lila begins to realize their brief affair has become something more. Yet she wonders if there’s enough magic in Whispering Cove to show Jon that love can heal all hearts…and that there’s only one place he belongs.

  Warning: Contains enough passion to melt ice, and turn any blustery wintry night into a hot, sultry holiday.

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  This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locale or organizations is entirely coincidental.

  Samhain Publishing, Ltd.

  11821 Mason Montgomery Road Suite 4B

  Cincinnati OH 45249

  His Reason to Stay

  Copyright © 2016 by Cathryn Fox

  ISBN: 978-1-61923-297-6

  Edited by Tera Cuskaden

  Cover by Angela Waters

  All Rights Are Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.