Bleeding Heart

by AM Hartnett

  But he’d bet a lot of money that the fucking would be spectacular. He’d spent more time thinking about it than he should have. He had made up his mind that she was the type of woman who bit the pillow to keep from getting too loud. She’d blush when he pulled her panties aside, but twist her fingers in his hair while he used his tongue on her. She’d try and keep her secrets, but when he got her worked up she’d spill her guts and tell him everything.

  ‘That’s it. I’m done.’

  Seth dropped his paintbrush into the ice-cream bucket of water, tapped the lid on his paint can and left it all where it was to head back to his apartment. The door had barely closed behind him before his cock was out, and he stood there with his back to it as he conjured those lurid thoughts once more.

  It didn’t take long. Just thinking of her shimmying out of that cute little skirt she had walked out in, and cooing over her shoulder, ‘I am a bad girl,’ and he was all juiced up.

  Pressing his shoulders against the door, he jutted his hips forward and held his breath as hot come drizzled over his fist.

  ‘Oh, Jesus.’ His head pounding, he sagged against the door. The last time he’d had this many solo sessions he was eleven and had just discovered masturbation.

  Yet even as he fought against the urge to sink down against the door, the same thought popped into his head. This time, he said it out loud. ‘What the fuck did she mean by that?’

  He might as well admit it, his crush on her. He knew that the same lack of will-power that had kept him from kicking the smokes was going to keep him sniffing around her until he found out.

  Todd finished his anecdote, and April faked a smile.

  It was the last thing she planned to fake tonight as far as Todd the Barista was concerned. Not that she planned to throw him down and use him like a human dildo. Quite the opposite.

  This was the worst date she’d ever been on.

  It took an hour for her to admit it without blaming the thigh sweats her exchange with Seth had left her, but there was no denying that Todd really was an asshole.

  First, he had no money, something he admitted only after the cheque came. He looked at her with a goofy smile and said, ‘I’ll get it next time.’

  Second, he complained about everything. Everything. He had a degree in English literature and worked in a coffee shop, so naturally everyone was beneath him including his boss, even though his boss had an MBA and owned/managed three restaurants. He hated the city, which he called backward – but not as backward as his hometown. He hated everywhere he had ever vacationed. He hated everywhere she had ever vacationed. He talked shit about her neighbourhood and its clientele. He went on about the gentrification of the area, then backtracked when she pointed out that the neighbourhood demographic was mostly unchanged since the 1950s.

  Then, Lord help her, he actually brought up Seth specifically.

  ‘How hard is it to order from the menu? “Grande.” That’s all you gotta say. “Grande.” But he comes in and orders “a medium coffee with a bit of caramel”, then gives me a pissy look when I clarify that he wants “a grande two-pump caramel breakfast blend”, and then he hovers at the counter watching me make it. He must be a real treat to have as a landlord.’

  She smiled back at him and looked longingly at what was left in his beer glass. Still at least half full. She’d already ended the date once, but he’d promised he’d be finished in a minute. She would have ditched him if he didn’t know where she lived.

  The waitress strode up for the fifth time and asked April if she wanted a refill. After the third time, April had caught a sympathetic look she discreetly returned. The waitress wanted them gone so the table could be bussed, and April just wanted to get out of there before she stabbed herself in the brain with a knife.

  This was not what she had in mind when she imagined her first date after striking out on her own. Granted, she wasn’t expecting some slick billionaire to swoop out of nowhere and make her come with just a look, but she was hoping for more than this guy. A nice dinner where he pays, then off for drinks where she’d pay. There’d be flirting on top of more flirting, and then there’d be making out, and her virgin bed would have its cherry mercilessly popped.

  Instead…

  ‘I wish they’d change the music. This has to be the third time they’ve played U2. You’d think, with a space this size, they’d bring in a live band instead of shitty satellite radio.’

  ‘It’s not so bad,’ she said, giving him another half-assed smile, and as he drained the last couple of mouthfuls of beer she could have wept.

  ‘Let’s get out of here,’ he said after he finished smacking his lips. ‘There’s a park just a couple of blocks from here so we can finally get some privacy.’

  This last little dig was aimed at the waitress, who had swooped in as soon as they got to their feet. April followed up her apologetic look by throwing some more money on the table.

  ‘Good luck,’ the waitress mouthed, and April wondered if she wasn’t the first unlucky bachelorette Todd the Barista had brought to this bar.

  ‘Actually, my shoes aren’t really great for walking,’ she lied, having worn the flats with the rubber soles specifically for having an after-dinner stroll.

  ‘Then I’ll walk you home.’

  And he began again, complaining about the potted plants hanging from the old-fashioned streetlights, and the cobblestoned sidewalks, and the new organic grocery that had recently opened up where a vintage bookstore used to be.

  All the while she nodded and let her mind wander.

  She could have gotten a six-pack and sat on the fire escape with a joint. She could have thrown on Annie Lennox and gotten drunk and stoned.

  Or she could have knocked on Seth’s door and asked him if he wanted to split her six-pack. Then she could have gotten buzzed enough to really make a move on him.

  He seemed to be into her. Unless he was one of those guys who flirted with every woman without realising it, she was sure he got as much of a charge from their banter as she did.

  Bad girl.

  God, he made her want to be a bad girl, and she wanted him to do bad things to her. Sweaty things that would leave her sore and bruised but entirely satisfied in the morning.

  Instead she wanted to leave Todd sore and bruised, but in a much less fun way.

  Once they reached the stoop, April cringed at the thought of what came next. She hoped he didn’t try and kiss her, or press her for a second date right there.

  What he did was even worse. He tucked his hands into his pockets and gave her a sheepish smile.

  ‘Hey, do you mind if I use your bathroom before I take off?’

  Sitting on the windowsill for his last two cigarettes of the night, Seth was in the middle of giving Marco’s fluffy belly a rub when the light came on upstairs and he heard voices.

  She had brought that guy home. Her business, he told himself, but at the same time he tensed up. If she brought her date home, she was probably going to fuck that guy.

  And he was going to have to listen to it.

  It wouldn’t be the first time. He’d enjoyed it the last time his upstairs neighbour took things to the bedroom, but this time he was looking forward to listening to it about as much as he had looked forward to the next bout of Katy Perry’s greatest hits. He had earplugs, but they were cheap and only drowned out the irritating sounds. Against creaking beds and ecstatic moans they were useless.

  The window scraped open and she spoke, though he couldn’t hear what she said.

  Marco rolled onto his feet and, after shaking off the lethargy Seth’s pampering had induced, moved towards the step.

  ‘I don’t think so.’ Seth scooped the cat up under his belly and tucked the furry body against his. Marco wriggled, but Seth held tight. He wasn’t chasing his pet up the stairs and making an asshole of himself.

  He stubbed out his smoke and lit another, and he heard her again.

  ‘You can smoke out here,’ she said, and the fire escape rat
tled as two bodies stepped out into the square of light coming from her apartment.

  From the shadows of his own little nook, Seth watched her settle with her back against the railing. The red-headed kid from the coffee shop took the place next to her, and Seth simmered a little more than he’d expected when that arm draped across her back.

  Yeah, she was going to fuck that guy.

  He took two long drags and stubbed out, then ducked to go back into his apartment.

  ‘OK, seriously, I’m not going to fuck you after I bought you dinner and two beers.’

  Seth paused and cocked his head, but he didn’t catch the muttered reply, only her scoffing laugh.

  ‘What makes you think I’d suck your dick, either? Look, this has been fun, but – all right, now you can take your hand off my tit.’

  This time, Seth caught the reply. ‘Come on, you invited me up.’

  ‘I did not. I let you up here to take a piss. I was being nice. You could have watered the grass for all I cared.’

  ‘Why are you being such a bitch?’

  ‘Because you’re an asshole. You ask me out and then spend the entire time bitching about every goddamn thing, and then you don’t even have the cash to go dutch, and now you’re trying to get your dick wet because apparently I owe you?’

  ‘What are you, some kind of feminazi?’

  ‘Oh, you are this close to being pitched over this railing – and, if you don’t stop trying to grab my nipple, I’m going to bite your ear off.’

  Having heard enough, Seth let the cat down and stepped out onto the landing.

  ‘Everything all right up there?’

  The two figures swivelled to face him, and he stepped up into the light.

  ‘He was just leaving,’ April said, and gave her date a smug look. ‘Weren’t you?’

  ‘Yeah, I was just –’

  And then came the hesitation as he looked down at Seth.

  Seth raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest. ‘Do I have to come up there?’

  It was April who made the final point by thrusting her face into her date’s.

  ‘Bye.’

  Without another word, the guy ducked through the window. Seth supposed he should be grateful he didn’t have to lay hands on him like he did the last unwanted douchebag who refused to leave his property, but the truth was he was a little disappointed that he didn’t get to play knight in shining armour.

  But, watching her glare after her visitor, eyes narrowed like she could set a man on fire that way, he chuckled and leaned against the railing.

  My kind of woman.

  Only after they’d both looked down the alley to watch her date boot it across the street did she sigh.

  ‘I hate that guy,’ she said, then looked at Seth. ‘Thanks.’

  ‘I didn’t do shit.’

  ‘Come up here and look at the trail of urine he left in his wake and say that.’

  ‘Again, all you.’

  ‘Right, I’m a warrior princess.’ She leaned back as she had when she first stepped onto the landing. ‘I feel like I need more alcohol. Care to come up and have one with me?’

  He might have been imagining it, but he swore she had spoken in that same purr as her last words in the hall. Whether it was fantasy or not, he felt a light kick in his gut and his cock twitched as he felt the urge to close the gap between them and just kiss the face off her.

  I shouldn’t, he thought, seconds before he nodded.

  ‘Sounds good.’

  Chapter Six

  Seth climbed the fire escape and followed her inside, pausing halfway in to push Marco back to the other side.

  ‘It’s OK. He’s fine to come in, too,’ she called as she moved to the kitchen, stopping to kick off her flats on the way. At the fridge she took a good look at him and the last of her irritation with Todd vanished, chased off by the thrill of seeing Seth sink down onto her sofa.

  God, he was gorgeous, taking up the entire sofa as he stretched out. That T-shirt was a girl’s best friend, tight to show off his wide chest and shoulders, and those inked bare arms contrasted nicely with her red slipcover.

  ‘Is it a little surreal to see these places constantly changing when people move?’ she asked as she returned, noticing his curious look around him. He hadn’t seen the place since he’d helped her unload the car.

  Seth took the beer and shook his head. ‘I don’t usually see the insides except when I have to, and even then it’s point A to point B. I did see the inside of this one a handful of times. I was – friendly – with the previous tenant.’

  How friendly? she wondered, noting his pause. The couple she’d met outside hadn’t lived here, just the woman. Maybe she and Seth had a thing before the hot blond guy had entered the picture. Maybe he got friendly with his female tenants often.

  ‘Sorry, by the way,’ she said. She would have liked to take the seat next to him, but he had so much of it and didn’t move for her, so she took the chair.

  Brows raised, he held the mouth of the bottle to his lips before understanding showed on his face. He sipped and shook his head.

  ‘Don’t worry about it. Comes with the job to take out some trash every once in a while.’

  ‘Still, I must be making the worst impression.’

  ‘Nah, you’re good.’ He leaned forward and placed the beer on a coaster, then looked around. ‘Where did Marco get off to?’

  ‘I saw him going into the bedroom. He’s not an underwear thief, is he?’

  ‘Not unless you’re wearing them and sitting on the can, but that might just apply to me.’

  April was pleased to see a smile appear beneath all that hair. It was shy and perfect and turned her insides to goo, along with the quick look that accompanied it.

  ‘How long have you had him?’

  ‘Six years. My wife found him out back in the dumpster. He could fit in the palm of my hand at the time. We had a no-pets policy in the building at the time, but, after I gave him a bath and he didn’t stink, she wanted to keep him. So now we allow pets.’

  ‘I’ve been here less than two weeks and I’m pretty sure he’s more of a mascot.’ She giggled, still struck by the picture of this hulking man with giant hands giving a tiny black fluffball a bath. She curled up in the chair, and another thrill went through her as she caught him discreetly checking her out. Her skirt rode up further than it should have, but she left it.

  She wanted him to look at her, and as long as she wasn’t flashing her pussy at him she could get away with feigning ignorance.

  ‘I take it you haven’t owned the building since 1952, like it says on the sign.’

  ‘Ten years.’

  ‘Wow.’ Ten years ago, she hadn’t even been in a training bra. Then again, he wasn’t exactly ancient either. ‘How old were you?’

  ‘Twenty-seven,’ he said with a grin, and gave her a moment to do the math. ‘I’d been working in construction and it was getting harder to find steady work, so to keep from going out west or up north, we decided to put our money into this place. It wasn’t too bad. The tenants at the time had been here a number of years, so for the first few years we were kind of like everyone’s grandkids. They’re all gone now, except for Mrs Boyd on first floor, though I think she’ll be going soon. She can’t get around too much and her mind seems to be going. She keeps asking me when Rita is going to return her crock pot.’

  Three times now he had alluded to his late wife. That was enough for April to know that he wasn’t sensitive about it, and so she came right out and asked, ‘How long has your wife been gone?’

  ‘Just over two years.’

  There was nothing in his tone to suggest that his wounds were still fresh. He looked her in the eyes as he spoke, and, though his pause seemed to indicate he was mulling something in his mind, he finished with a smile and reclaimed his bottle.

  ‘Good beer. Good and cheap. I hate that crafty stuff that’s all the rage these days.’ He settled back again and the shy smile morphed into
a smirk. ‘How are you sleeping?’

  The question knocked her back. She got hot all at once as she thought of those wicked thoughts that had been putting her to sleep.

  ‘Sorry?’

  ‘The man who lives in 4D has been growling about your upstairs neighbours playing their TV too loud.’

  ‘Oh!’ April shook her head. ‘I haven’t heard anything. I thought this place was soundproof.’

  ‘Not exactly.’ He raised the bottle to his lips, and after taking a sip he chuckled. ‘So long as you keep the window closed.’

  ‘Is that a warning?’

  ‘Maybe a little. I’ve heard a lot since I took over this place. I’ve seen a lot, too.’ A smirk he tried to fight took over his face. ‘I’ve done a bit of noise-making myself.’

  ‘Recently?’

  His grin widened. ‘Very recently.’

  The tickle that spiralled through April went everywhere, to the soles of her feet and the back of her throat, and curled delightfully between her legs.

  ‘So I was right,’ she said slyly. ‘You and the woman who used to live in my apartment?’

  He hesitated, and April clicked her tongue against her teeth.

  ‘Come on. You brought it up. I can take it. I’m a big girl.’

  Seth struck his broad pose, and this time it looked like a challenge. ‘Me and the woman who used to live in this apartment…and her boyfriend.’

  April wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but that wasn’t it. For all her fantasies about him, she’d gotten it into her head that he was a vanilla kind of guy.

  He laughed as she brought the bottle to her lips. ‘I’ve got you wondering now, don’t I?’

  ‘A little,’ she said, and rolled her eyes. ‘OK, a lot, and I have to ask: was it two on one, or more of a group thing?’

  ‘Group thing.’

  ‘Then you’re bisexual?’

  ‘I guess you could say I am. Not my preference 99 per cent of the time, but it happens. Actually, I think the right term for what I am is more pansexual.’

  ‘So, you’re not vanilla at all.’

  Seth raised a brow. ‘Not even a little, and you sound so surprised.’

  ‘You wear bedroom slippers all day. That doesn’t actually scream kinky.’