Don't Blink

by L. G. Davis

  “The lab clearly made a mistake. It happens.” My gaze snaps back to the doctor. “Please, tell him, doctor. It does happen, right?”

  “Well, mistakes do occur, but the lab we used—”

  “You see, Jared? You heard her.” I reach for his arm, but he yanks it away. “The results are wrong. I promise you that.”

  “I’m not the father,” Jared mumbles under his breath. “I’m not the father.” He repeats the words a few more times, then he throws his head back and starts to laugh. “I was such a fool.”

  “No, you’re not. I love you, and you love me. This baby is ours.” My voice is deflated. If the paternity test can’t prove the truth to him, what power do my words hold? “I’m telling you the truth. I don’t know what’s going on here, but I didn’t sleep with any other man. I’ve never cheated on you.”

  “Stop working so hard to cover up your lies,” he barks. “It’s all out in the open.”

  “Let me leave you two alone for a bit.” The doctor stands up and disappears through the door.

  The moment she’s gone, our conversation dies. Brittle silence hovers between us like a heavy mist. We sit side by side, staring into space, buried in our tortured thoughts. I have no idea what more I can say to him.

  How could this happen? I was so positive the results would set the record straight.

  I pick up the piece of paper, running my gaze over every single word and number, searching for a mistake. I find none. It clearly states that my husband is not the father of my baby. There’s only one explanation. Someone is behind this. The person who sent the text has something to do with these results.

  “I think someone manipulated the results.” The words come out in a whisper. “I didn’t sleep with another man.” I know I sound like a broken record, but I have to keep trying.

  “I’m tired, Caitlin. I’m tired of being lied to.”

  “So what does this mean for us, Jared?” I ask, breathless with rage. “You’re ready to give up on our marriage just like that?” My anger subsides as soon as it started. “Come on. What if we do another test?”

  “I don’t need any more tests done. I have faith in those results. No one manipulated them as you claim. The only person manipulating anything right now is you.”

  “I’m not—”

  “You’re trying to manipulate the situation so it leans in your favor. You’re working so hard to prove to me that you are the woman I loved, the woman I married.”

  Sorrow closes up my throat. “You don’t love me anymore?” My words are barely audible in my whisper.

  He shoves his hands into his hair and closes his eyes. “I can’t deal with this right now.” His shoulders slump forward, dragged down by hurt. “I’m out of here.”

  I’m waiting for him to get up and leave, but he just sits there, his hands still in his hair, breathing hard.

  “No.” I bite my bottom lip to stop it from trembling. “Don’t do this to us, Jared. Give me another chance to prove it to you.”

  “I’ve got all the proof that I need, right there.” He jabs a finger at the test results.

  “It’s not the right proof.” I curl my hands into fists. “Something happened here, and I don’t know how to explain it.”

  “Don’t try. I’m out of here.” This time he shoots out of his chair and walks out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

  A few seconds later, Dr. Fern enters the room. “Are you okay?” Her words are not in harmony with her expression. She’s judging me again. Given the results, I don’t blame her. “Would you like a glass of water?”

  “I don’t need water. I need another test done.”

  “I’m pretty sure the results will be the same.” She pulls a folder from a shelf. “I’ve seen it happen with many patients before.”

  “But you said yourself that errors can occur.”

  “In rare cases.”

  “This could be one of those rare cases.” I struggle to keep my voice from rising.

  The doctor sits down and pins me with a gaze. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Lester, but I have to ask you to leave. I have other patients waiting. Unless there’s something else you want to talk about.”

  “Fine.” I grab my bag and the results and scramble to my feet. “I’m sorry for keeping you.”

  I step out of the room without saying goodbye. It’s not fair for me to be angry at the doctor. But I can’t help it. I can’t keep my anger from scorching anyone I come into contact with.

  As I stumble through the waiting room, tears explode from my eyes. I don’t care about the stares or the whispers. All I care about is getting to the car, where Jared is waiting for me. I have to save what’s left of my marriage. I don’t give a damn what anyone says. I’ll do another test at a different lab.

  CHAPTER 39

  It’s raining outside—huge, fat drops plopping onto my head and shoulders like small marbles. Since rain is my friend, I don’t bother to cover myself like the pedestrians rushing past me with umbrellas, handbags, or newspapers over their heads.

  I stand on the sidewalk with my eyes raised to the sky. My tears burst from my eyes and mix with the rainwater.

  My blue, cotton dress is getting drenched by the second, my hair flattening at the top of my head and hanging around my face in wet ropes.

  A huge ball of laughter pushes its way up my chest. It spills from my lips and rings in my ears. My life is a freaking joke. It would make for such a great comedy. No wonder Jared cracked up earlier.

  I’m shaking with mirth and crying at the same time as people step around me. A toddler stops to stare until her mother grabs her hand and drags her away from the crazy woman on the sidewalk. They will have one hell of a story to tell at their dinner table.

  I’m still laughing when I finally find the courage to go to the car, holding my handbag close to my body to prevent rainwater from getting inside.

  What I feel most like doing is throwing myself to the ground and curling up into a ball, but I’m pregnant. It’s no longer just about me. My body is no longer just my own.

  I push myself forward, one shaky step after the other, barely able to see much through the curtain of rain. When I get to the car, I come to a halt. No one is inside.

  I thought Jared would be waiting in the car, but he must have gone home without me.

  I stare at my car for a long time as though he would magically appear. He doesn’t, so I pull out my spare car key and yank the door open, throwing my dripping bag onto the passenger’s seat. I get out again to get the towel I keep in the trunk.

  Back inside the car, I dry my hair, face, and hands. Before I drive off, I give Jared’s cell a call. It could be he’s inside one of the shops.

  The call goes to voicemail, and I don’t bother to leave a message. I wrap my hand tight around the phone, swallow the lump lingering in my throat, and dial again. This time, I leave a message.

  “Honey, I’m on my way home. We need to talk. I can explain everything.” When I hang up, my throat is thick with fresh tears.

  I’m barely able to breathe as I start the car, afraid of what is waiting for me at home. What if I find him gone and never have a chance to explain? What if he never believes me? What if the second test results come back still saying Jared is not the father?

  I can’t let that happen. I’ll ask a different doctor to administer the test, and I’ll insist on a different lab from the one Dr. Fern used. I’ll even ask for the results to be sent to me by mail straight from the external lab. Hopefully, it won’t be too late by then.

  By the time I turn into our street, the heavy rain has turned to a drizzle.

  I stop the car in front of the house and count to ten before getting out. My cold, damp dress sticks to my legs when I walk through the gate. Goose pimples scatter across my skin. The chill I feel is not only from the cold. I’m getting the kind of feeling I get when I’m being watched.

  I turn my head toward Ruth’s cottage. She’s at her kitchen window. She raises a hand to wave at me. Sinc
e I no longer understand her mixed signals, I don’t wave back.

  I step over a puddle of water and continue down the path to my house.

  At the front door, I stop and lean my head against the wood. After gathering up the courage to face my husband, I stand back, lift my chin, and open the door.

  Jared’s luggage is in the entrance hall, his laptop and one of his cameras on top of his favorite, battered suitcase.

  He’s not gone. That’s a slice of relief in itself, but he has one foot out the door.

  I still have a chance to talk to him. I hear a cough coming from upstairs, followed by a string of curses.

  On my way up the stairs, I call his name, but he doesn’t answer.

  He’s not in our bedroom or the bathroom, where I expected to find him. There’s only one other place he could be.

  Sadness tears at my chest when I approach the nursery.

  He’s facing away from the door, removing a painting of a rain forest from the wall. Jared’s other passion is painting, and he’d painted it himself for the baby.

  A weight drops onto my shoulders and pushes down. I wrap my arms around myself to keep warm. It doesn’t help.

  He spins around and pins me with his gaze, his nostrils flared. Heartbeats pass between us as our eyes lock.

  I can’t believe he’s the man I love more than I’ve ever loved anyone before. His face is so completely distorted by anger that it’s hard to recognize him. I’m pretty sure when he looks at me, he doesn’t recognize me, either. All he sees is a cheater and a liar. He’s partly right. Even though I’m not a cheater, I am a liar.

  Driven by the desire to get him back, I take a few steps toward him, but he steps away. He drops the painting on the floor. Without a word, he pushes past me and barges out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

  I stand in the middle of the room, taking in the baby’s belongings. The nursery is ready now. The packages have all been opened, and everything is in its place.

  But the baby needs more than the things inside this room—her or his father.

  I turn on my heel and follow Jared. At the top of the stairs, I stop to catch my breath. He’s watching me from the bottom.

  “Don’t go.” My words are so low I almost can’t hear them as they push past the sobs inside my throat.

  Jared blinks once, then turns away. He steps into the tiny entrance hall and picks up his suitcase, slinging his camera over his shoulder.

  If I let him step out of the door, I might lose him for good. I have to make things right. I don’t care what I have to do to keep him with the baby and me.

  Finding the strength to fight, I descend the stairs, careful not to trip.

  There’s only one way out of this mess. I need to come clean. Once he knows the truth, he can decide whether to go or stay. I’ll respect whatever decision he makes on the other side of the truth.

  When I come close, he doesn’t move away this time. I place one of my cold hands on his arm. “Jared, please, you have to listen to me. The results today were really manipulated. And I think I know who did it.” I purse my lips. “There’s something you should know ... about me.”

  “What can you possibly say to me that I don’t already know?” He takes a step back. “Do you want to come clean? Are you ready to admit that the baby is Ralph’s?”

  “What are you talking about? Jared, the baby is not Ralph’s. I told you there’s nothing going on between us. I never slept with him or any other man.”

  “I’m finding that rather hard to believe. I suspected it all along.”

  “If you don’t believe me, why don’t you go and ask him yourself?”

  “And get lied to again? I don’t trust either one of you.”

  “Ralph is a pawn in this game just like you.” I blow out a slow breath. “There’s something much more going on.”

  “I have all the information I need.” His voice cracks. “He’s the father of your baby. No point in denying it any longer.”

  “You don’t really believe that.”

  “Actually, I do.” He drops his suitcase and pulls his cell phone from his pocket. He turns the small screen to me.

  Your wife is pregnant with Ralph Jenkins’s baby. Xoxo

  I reel back as if slapped. “Have you ever stopped to wonder who’s sending you those messages? I know who it is. But it’s a long story. Stay, and I’ll tell you the truth.”

  “Your version of the truth doesn’t interest me. It’s over, Caitlin. You’ve destroyed our marriage, and there’s no going back.”

  “Hear me out, please,” I plead. “I’m not who you think I am.”

  “I already know that.” He picks up the suitcase again. “I’m not coming back. Don’t call me.” My heart empties with each step he takes out the door.

  I stand in the doorway, still shivering, watching him close his car door and drive away from the life we built.

  In a daze, I stumble back into the house and sit on the steps, my head in my hands. My life is in tatters, and I can’t even find the strength to weep anymore.

  In the morning, when I show up at work, the first person I meet is Georgia, and she sends me right back home, saying I look like a mess and I should use up some of my leave days until the baby comes. I’m too broken to argue with her, so I walk out of Silver Oak. For some weird reason, it feels like goodbye.

  CHAPTER 40

  I have no idea how I get from my house to the school. Since Jared moved out yesterday, I’ve been feeling completely lost. I’ve resisted leaving the house this morning because it’s just so hard for me to go out there and pretend I’m fine. But I need to take responsibility. I need to face uncomfortable situations in order to resolve them.

  It’s lunch break at Silver Oak. Some of the students are outside, hanging out in groups on the school grounds, while others are still in the cafeteria.

  Inside the building, all eyes are on me. I get the feeling everyone knows my deepest, darkest secrets. From the looks I’m getting as I make my way down the school halls, and the whispers, I know I’ve been the topic of discussion. I wonder what they’re saying about me.

  Ignoring the stares, I put one foot in front of the other, my head held high. Relief pours out of me when I come to the door of the staff lounge. I draw in a breath and push it open.

  Two teachers—one of them a substitute—and Georgia are present in the room. Georgia gets up from the table before I step farther into the room. She looks surprised at seeing me.

  “Caitlin, you’re on leave. What are you doing here?” Her breath is tainted with the smell of onions.

  I avert my gaze. “I ... I’m not here to work. I need to speak to Ralph. Is he here?” I’ve tried to call him several times, but he didn’t pick up the phone.

  “I’m afraid Ralph is also on leave.”

  “Why?” I close my eyes when the answer comes to me. I open my eyes again and meet Georgia’s. “I’m the reason, right?”

  She shifts from one foot to the other. “Caitlin, I’m sure you know that there are several rumors spreading around town about the two of you. It’s become a distraction to the students.”

  I tilt my head to the side. “What are you saying, Georgia?”

  Georgia folds her arms in front of her ample chest as though she wants to keep a distance. “I think it’s best for you both to stay away from the school for a while until things calm down.”

  My head hits my chest. “Will I still have my job after my maternity leave?”

  Georgia doesn’t speak for a long time. In her silence, I get my answer.

  “Oh.” I paste on a smile. “I understand.”

  “I’m sorry. But the parents are complaining. You’re an amazing teacher, and you’ve helped a lot of students get good grades in math, but—”

  “Whatever you’re hearing is not true. It’s all lies.”

  “I’m sorry, Caitlin. My hands are tied here. I tried to ignore the rumors because I valued your contribution to Silver Oak, but—”

 
; I raise a hand to stop her. “You don’t have to explain or apologize.” I give her a sad smile. “You were kind to give me this job. I really enjoyed working here.”

  “I wish you and the baby luck.” I don’t miss the fact that she didn’t mention Jared’s name, which tells me everything I need to know. She knows he walked out on me. Someone must have seen him leave and spread the news. But how would they know? What if he was leaving for one of his trips?

  “Thanks.” With nothing left to say, I respect her wish and leave.

  I keep my head bowed, avoiding any eye contact with anyone until I’m outside the school gates and safely inside my car. I lean my head on my steering wheel. The tears threaten to spill. I hold them back. I’m tired of crying. They all think I’m an unfaithful wife. The results couldn’t prove it, but there’s someone who could.

  ON MY WAY TO RALPH’S place, I drop by a different gynecologist in Faypine’s city center. He takes the samples he needs and tells me the results will be mailed straight to me within a week.

  Before being called in, I’d tried to reach Ralph again, but he still wouldn’t pick up. People will have a field day if I go to his house, but what’s a little more gossip? I’m done caring at this point.

  I park a safe distance from his brick-stone house and wait inside the car, trying not to lose my nerve. What if I ring the bell and Marissa answers the door? The last thing I want is for his relationship to hit the rocks as well. On the other hand, I might get the chance to tell her the truth.

  I get out of the car and stroll down the street. About two minutes after I start walking, the door to Ralph’s house opens. He steps out, followed by Marissa. He leans in to kiss her, but she pulls away.

  My heart goes out to Ralph. He’s such a great guy. He deserves to be happy. It’s all my fault that his relationship is in pieces.

  I’m starting to wish I never came to Faypine at all. I hate that people are getting hurt because they’ve come into contact with me.

  I spin around and start heading back in the direction of my car. I don’t want her to see me. I can’t talk to her after all.