Hard to Resist

by Shanora Williams

  Oh, no. I gulp as I continue to push the buggy forward. “What?”

  “When he comes back, he wants to go on a date with me!” she squeals.

  I frown. “What about Trey?”

  She groans loudly. “Fuck Trey. I hate him. He just wants me for my ass. But Mark . . . he is just too beautiful for words. I decided to be bold and send a text to Mark telling him to be straight-up with me. He told me the truth then immediately asked me on a date.”

  My eyes roll slightly. “Listen, Gracey, there’s something I have to tell you—”

  “He told me that he ran into you down there.”

  This time guilt burns the heart of my chest. “Oh really?” I gulp again, swallowing the brick in my throat. “What did he say?”

  “That you look better than ever without Bryson. You know, I find it beyond weird that they are down there of all places. I could have sworn that they said they were going to Ocean Isle beach for their summer getaway.”

  “Yeah. So I thought. Look, Grace—”

  “Nat!” Harper screeches from behind me.

  I spin around to face her as she smiles widely with a case of Ferrero Rocher chocolate in her hands. “They have it! I’ve been craving for this!”

  I nod before she dips around the corner to continue her snooping around for snacks. “Who was that?” Grace asks. “Harper?”

  “Yeah. Look, I’ll call you tonight, okay? I’m going to be spending some time with Nolan.” Plus, I keep getting interrupted and I take that as I sign that I shouldn’t be telling Grace about the altercation with Mark.

  “Yum. Snap a pic for me foreal this time!” she says. “I’m gonna call Mark.”

  “Grace, don’t call him.”

  “Why not?” I can tell that her eyebrows are raised and her hazel eyes are wide with a spark of confusion.

  “Because . . .” I hesitate. Somehow this has become harder for me to say. “Mark kissed me.”

  “Kissed you?” she spits. A low growl erupts from her throat before she huffs. “What the fuck? I used to see the way he looked at you but I always ignored it.” She groans and silence fills the line. “I guess I have to find someone else.”

  “I’m sorry, Gracey,” I mumble as I twist my buggy around to walk down the aisle and look for my other best friend.

  “Did you kiss him back?” she asks.

  I scowl. “No, Grace! You know me better than that. He came onto me. Nolan fought him.”

  “Nolan!” she screeches in more of a joyous shrill than anything else. She giggles heartily. “I bet he whooped Mark’s ass bad. I gotta see this Nolan guy. Send me a pic tonight. I’m serious. But, Nat, I gotta go! Mom’s calling for dinner. I’ll be expecting a picture from you.”

  The line ends and I sigh as I pull the phone away to place it in my back pocket. I turn to make my way down the main aisle but as I spot the straight, pale-blonde hair, the bright blue eyes, and the way her hand is placed on her hip as she talks to the brunette in front of her, I come to a screeching halt.

  Sara Manx! What the fuck is she doing here? I begin to turn around, reeling my buggy in the opposite direction but as Harper yells, “Nat!” again, I freeze. I turn to the sound of Harper’s voice and spot her standing in the middle of the main aisle with a bottle of Coke and two packs of cherry flavored Kool-Aid.

  “Kool-Aid or Coke?” she asks, her lips pouting indecisively. “Lazy,” she says lifting the bottle of Coke. “Or hard working wifey-material?” She lifts the pack of Kool-Aid with a coy smile.

  I push the buggy her way, keeping my eyes solely on her. Gripping her by the wrist, I drag her towards the nearest aisle.

  “Is that really Natalie Carmichael?” the familiar voice that I absolutely hate asks before I can even make it out of plain sight.

  “Who the hell is that?” Harper asks, tugging her wrist away as she takes a step back. “Who the fuck are you?” Her eyes narrow at Sara.

  Finding the will to be bold, I remove my sweaty palms from the handle of the buggy and step back with Harper. I stare straight into the heavily mascaraed light-blue eyes of Sara. It’s a shame. She still looks the same. Still disgustingly hidden behind a bag of make-up.

  Sara cracks a laugh as she tucks a pack of carrots beneath her arm. “I must say, Natalie, you look somewhat . . . incomplete.”

  “You still look completely shitty,” I mumble through clamped teeth.

  Harper tenses at my side as she clutches the bottle of Coca-Cola in her hand. “Is this the bitch that Bryson cheated on you with?” she asks. She then laughs as her eyes scan Sara’s extremely mini-skirt, tight pink tank-top, and her straight hair. “You’ve got to be kidding me, Nat. Did he really stoop this low to this worthless broad?”

  I nod. “Mmhmm. Sad isn’t it.”

  Sara stops just a foot away from us as the brunette comes to her side. As I stare at the brunette, I realize who she is. Madison Brewer, Mark’s ex-girlfriend. I smile at her devilishly, remembering why Mark had broken up with her. Mark realized that if he couldn’t have me, he didn’t want anyone. He said it to me one night while he was drunk but I’ve never said anything of it.

  “No, what’s sad is the fact that I have your boyfriend,” Sara says. I cringe but Harper shakes her head as she places the Coke in the buggy.

  “Listen here, bitch,” Harp says with more pleasure than anger. “You have five seconds to get the fuck out of our faces or I promise you that your blood will be all over this floor. You don’t want that, do you?” Harper’s lips press to give a sarcastic but full smile.

  Sara cracks a laugh. “A shame, Natalie, how you always have to have one of your friends stick up for you. Grace the Whore was already enough, don’t you think?”

  “Sara, I’m seriously not in the mood for you or your shit.”

  “What are you gonna do?” She places a hand on her hip again. “Call Bryson? Which side do you think he’ll take?”

  And then, just as the anger blinds me, just before I can charge forward and pounce on top of Sara, I spot Nolan strolling through the store while scanning the aisles. What in the hell? What is he doing here?

  “Why are they here?” Harper whispers in a hiss. “I really wanted to beat this bitch’s ass with you.”

  Nolan’s head whips to look in our direction as Dawson follows behind him. At first, he’s smiling, but as he gets closer and realizes how flushed my cheeks are and how drawn in my eyebrows are, his smile fades. He switches glances between me, Harper (who is still clueless as to why Dawson and Nolan are here) and then to Sara and Madison.

  “Natalie, what’s going on?” he asks as soon as he’s less than a foot away.

  “Uh . . .” My head shakes swiftly as Sara and Madison spin around to the sound of Nolan’s voice. As soon as they reach sight of him, their eyes broaden with a mix of bewilderment and adoration. Spotting the way their drool spills is priceless. I step through Sara and Madison purposely, bumping shoulders heavily with both of them before getting to Nolan. “It’s nothing. Why are you here?”

  “Who are those girls?” he murmurs so only I can hear.

  “Some . . . dumb bitches,” I grumble.

  “Are they stirring up trouble? If we’re interrupting, please ignore us. Dawson and I love a good cat fight.” His lips spread to grin and speaking of Dawson, he steps to the side of Nolan with his eyes hard on Harper.

  “Harper, baby,” he coos. Harper practically melts as she rushes for him.

  I turn to look at Sara and Madison who are still staring at us with wide eyes. As a sneer sneaks its way to my lips, I turn swiftly to kiss Nolan. At first, he stiffens but as he realizes that he loves when my lips are against his, he softens and kisses me back.

  “So pathetic,” Sara hisses beneath her breath but I can hear the jealousy brewing within her.

  I pull away from Nolan to turn and look at her. “Do me a favor,” I breathe.

  Sara and Madison’s eyebrows shoot up at the same time, their eyes still wide. “Tell Bryson that unlike him, I’ve do
ne better.”

  Clutching Nolan’s hand, I spin to grab the buggy and we trot along the aisle. Nolan lets out a roar of laughter just as Dawson does and Harper giggles as she meets up to me.

  “Oh my fucking God, Nat!” she squeals. “That was so fucking brilliant. You made Bryson look like complete shit! I know for sure that she’s gonna go back and tell him exactly what you said.”

  I giggle as Dawson steps to her side. “Is that how it was for you in high school?” he asks.

  “Worse,” Harper and I say at the same time.

  “Well don’t worry, Bunny. You kinda showed her. I’m glad I came. We were coming to tell you that you forgot your wallet.” Nolan’s hand slides into his back pocket to retrieve a teal pleather wallet. “Can’t pay without money, babe.”

  My cheeks spark with heat as I take it away from him. We continue to stroll through aisles for a few more items but I can’t believe how good I feel. I feel like I’ve really won with Sara the Slut. With her, I’ve always felt like she was knocking me out cold and stepping on my toes purposely. She just had a natural habit of being a bitch . . . something that I wasn’t back in high school.

  But now, I feel better. Now I feel like I can say “fuck Bryson and fuck Sara”. But just as my raid of happiness comes to surface, a rush of nervousness comes as well. My only hope is that we don’t run into Bryson like that. Knowing that Nolan will fight if he sees him touching me terrifies me. If he fights for me, he may end up leaving me.

  Nolan is too mature to deal with me—a girl that’s just graduated high school. Sooner or later he’ll tap out and say that he can’t deal with me or my past that is haunting me. Back there with Sara, that’s what it felt like. Like I was back in high school and being immature by showing off in her face or flaunting my new boyfriend. In fact, this time around it had to be worse.

  I just have to stay out of sighting. I can’t run into Bryson again.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  As I collect the last plate from the small patio table, a long pair of arms wrap around me from behind. The heat molds from the crook of my neck, to the crease between my shoulder blades, and even against my hips.

  “Need some help, Bunny?” Nolan’s voice trickles against my earlobe, causing heat to spark within every inch of my body.

  “I don’t think you can help me from back there.”

  “I don’t know,” he says before taking a step back. I spin around and watch as his eyes scan me. “I kind of like the view from where I am.” I bite on a smile as I turn around again. He presses against me, wrapping an arm around my waist. “Dawson and Harper went to take a walk on the beach.” Before I can react, he grabs my free hand and spins me around to face him. I stare into the abyss of grey before me as my chest sinks against his. His eyes are softer than ever before, but there is something else within them. Perhaps a craving for lust. “Did you think about tonight?” he asks, leaning in to place his lips against my ear.

  “Tonight?” I repeat. “I thought about it quite clearly.”

  “And?”

  “And I don’t think tonight is good timing.”

  Nolan pulls his head back to look at me. At first, there is a hard glare but after only a few seconds, he presses in until my butt hits the edge of the table and a smile sneaks its way to his lips. He kisses my neck tenderly and my skin hums. His lips then trail to the V of my tank top before making their way up to mine. I practically melt in his arms.

  “Don’t hold off, babe. You can’t tell me this doesn’t feel natural.”

  “Just because it feels natural, doesn’t mean that it should happen,” I say.

  “Oh really?” One of Nolan’s eyebrows elevate. He then picks me up in his arms. He clears one side of the table completely then lies me down. His lips immediately crush mine as a groan throttles against the back of my throat.

  When he catches me completely off-guard, it truly is hard to hold off on it. And I hate the fact that he knows it. He snatches his lips away quickly, trailing them down to my chest as he works to get my pants undone. As my pants unzip, he towers over me. I reach forward quickly to unzip his pants without taking my eyes off of him. His eyes have suddenly turned as hard as steel. I can see the tension that he has built inside. There’s a fire brewing within him that is radiating strongly from his body. Reaching his hand down, he cups my cheek.

  “Wanna take this to my bedroom?” he asks.

  I nod quickly. A warm smirk graces his lips before he reaches for my hand and leads the way toward his room. I can’t believe I’m actually walking through his home with only a pair of blue and white boy shorts on.

  Making the turn for the hall, Nolan steps ahead but when someone says, “Need me to leave?” we both whirl around quickly.

  Standing in the kitchen is a tall man with similar features as Nolan. He has the same dark hair but unlike Nolan’s grey eyes his have a hint of green in them. He is just as fit as Nolan—if anything fitter—with a red T-shirt and cargo shorts on. As he stares at us with a smile, that’s when I realize who he must be. Nolan’s brother.

  “Mills?” Nolan raises an eyebrow as he steps in front of me to guard me of his brother’s vision. “What in the hell are you doing here? I thought you were hanging with Lorie tonight.”

  Mills shrugs. “Eh, we got into it again. I took off before she could get too angry. Who’s your friend?” He reaches for a soft taco, takes a bite, and then his eyes meet Nolan’s again.

  “Natalie. I’ve told you about her,” Nolan says through his teeth.

  “Well I mean you’ve had so many over before. It’s kind of hard to keep up with them all,” Mill quips with a mouth full of food.

  A slight shudder corrupts me as Nolan squeezes my hand. “Mills, don’t start.”

  “What?” Mills shrugs as he takes a step forward with a large smile now on his lips. I happen to see everything that is going on in front of Nolan. “Natalie, is it?” he asks.

  I nod. “Yeah.”

  “Nolan treating you good? He’s not fucking up yet, is he? He tends to fuck up a lot with the ladies. My only hope is that he learns how to control it soon.”

  “Mills, just shut the hell up,” Nolan says through a sigh.

  “No, seriously. Did he provide you with a clean slate? Did he want to start fresh?” Mills grabs for a glass out of the cabinet beside him. “I told him, if he wants to really settle with someone, start clean. Don’t fuck up, don’t lie, and don’t cheat just because he feels like it will be a great way of payback.” Placing his glass down, he pulls the handle of the fridge then dips down to look in. “Outta tea, huh?”

  “Maybe I should go,” I murmur from behind Nolan. Nolan twists around quickly and clutches my hands in his.

  “Don’t let him get to you. He calls these things “tests”. He wants to see if you’ll run away,” he grumbles. “He sees it as if you run away, you’re not the one. He’ll think you’re not strong. But if you stay, perhaps you have heart. He can be a dick that way.”

  “Don’t act like I’m the one that started it,” Mills butts in. “You fucked with Lorie for what seemed like years before she actually started to like being around you.” I force a smile before looking over Nolan’s shoulder at Mills who is now gulping down a glass of water.

  “But I was only kidding,” Mills breathes. “I was expecting you to smack my baby brother upside his head. Good thing you stood your ground. But that was only one of my many tests.” He steps out of the kitchen and his eyes flicker at us. “The next few won’t be so easy. Gotta make sure you’re not like the rest.” He winks before trailing off to the living room. “Oh, and nice panties by the way. Sorry to have interrupted. Is the patio table dirty enough yet?” Mills chuckles as he finally disappears around the corner.

  My cheeks drain of color as Nolan lets out a sigh. “Seriously, Bunny, don’t mind him. He’s a chill guy. He’s just kidding.”

  I nod with a breathy laugh. “I know. It’s okay.”

  Nolan smiles then grips my hand before
pecking my lips with his gently. “Let’s go get your pants. I guess sex really isn’t meant to be for tonight.”

  I giggle as he chuckles and we make our way towards the patio.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  It’s a Thursday night and my legs are curled up beneath the coffee table again. Adjusting myself on the throw pillow, I sigh when I can’t get comfortable enough. But there is a real reason why I’m not comfortable. It’s because I’m expecting a call from my father today. When he’d text me, my heart had practically stopped beating.

  Serious talk tonight, Natty. Make sure you answer your phone.

  That’s what he said. So yeah, I’m pretty bummed out right now. All I can think is the negative. My dad wouldn’t just text me and say that. If he were happy, he would have added one of his silly smiley faces. But not this time. No, he’s upset about something.

  As I tap my pen against my chin, I finally find the right words to say:

  In order to be happy,

  You have to let something go

  You have to release something prideful

  You have to let yourself know

  That when it’s time to give in

  You can’t continue to hold on

  When it’s time to just give up

  Realize what’s wrong

  You won’t be happy with your pride

  You won’t be happy without love

  You won’t be smiling without a heart

  You won’t feel as free as a dove

  Love is still there,

  Even when you feel blinded by it

  Love is forever strong

  Even when you want to try and hide it

  My phone buzzes on the table, interrupting my next few lines. I gulp heavily, spotting the name “Dad” along with his picture on the screen. Dropping my pen quickly and rushing to my feet, I grab my phone and march for the patio door. I slide it open and as soon as I gulp the night air down, I answer.