Excess Baggage

by Pete Lister

  The remaining five ran to within ten yards of the house and threw their loads. All eight of the bottles hit the adobe walls of the house. A muted gunshot sounded from behind them, followed by the sound of glass breaking on the roof. Water started pouring from under the eaves, quickly extinguishing the eight small fires on the wrap-around porch.

  “What the fu...?” yelled one of the men before he dropped. Not knowing where to turn for safety, the last four turned for the cars, and three more fell to the shots coming from the dark. The last man turned back toward the house, threw down his gun, and raised his hands. “I surrender! Don’t shoot! Who the hell are you people!?” he shouted, as the Sherrys appeared from the darkness.

  Drew came around the car from behind him, John came around the side of the ranch house, where he had been turning off the water. Ashley appeared around the side of the stable, and Dianne stepped out of the garage, smiling and flashing three fingers at John, who smiled back at her. All were carrying rifles, with six-shooters in holsters on their belts.

  The last man standing stood stock still, his hands still raised above his head. They had come out here, twelve of them, to ambush four unsuspecting victims. Eleven lay dead, and he was now covered by four rifles, held by four obviously crack shots. Shiv was really going to be pissed off by this turn of events.

  “Put your hands behind you, partner.” A still-warm rifle barrel lay against the man’s cheek. When his hands were secured, Drew looked at Ashley. “Honey, if you want to pick up those sandwiches, we could probably use something about now.”

  With a smile, she turned and disappeared into the darkness.

  “I’ll make coffee,” Dianne said, brightly, turning toward the house.

  As Drew and his prisoner approached the house, the shutters started swinging back into place, and the windows swung out to fill the holes. Climbing the porch, Drew said to the bound gangster, “Wait right here.” Opening the front door, he recovered a push broom and pushed the broken glass from the Molotov cocktails into a small pile. Returning the broom, he came out with a dust pan and foxtail. Picking up the broken glass, he dumped it into a trash barrel next to the steps. Finally, he reached around and pushed opened the front door, again, gently guiding the bound captive into the living room.

  “Sit down, make yourself at home.” Drew said, smiling as he unloaded his rifle and hung it over the fireplace. “What’s your name?”

  The captive was obviously shaken. He had come to kill these people, and they were being courteous, almost friendly to him, except for having his hands bound.

  “Gilbert, Keith Gilbert.”

  John walked in from the kitchen, carrying a plate of sandwiches. Dianne followed him with a tray containing coffee mugs and a pot. Ashley came in the front door, having lowered the stop-strips and latched the gate.

  “Well, Keith Gilbert, we have some questions for you.” John sat down next to the man.

  “Are you going to kill me?” Gilbert asked.

  “Were you going to kill us?” Ashley asked him back.

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “Because that’s what Shiv paid me for.”

  “How much did Shiv pay you?” Dianne asked. “I’d just like to know how much we’re worth.”

  “Twenty-five hundred apiece up front, another twenty-five when we finished the job.”

  “Five thousand dollars apiece for twelve men, that’s sixty thousand dollars. My goodness.” She was smiling now.

  “It wasn’t personal, just business.” Gilbert told her.

  “We thought it was personal.” Ashley told him. “Seems to me, you picked the wrong business, Keith.”

  “It’s been pretty good to me up ‘till now.”

  “How would you feel if you got killed on this job?” Drew asked.

  “Well, if you don’t do it, Shiv Thompson will. No way he’d believe that I’m the only survivor.”

  “I think we can assure you that Shiv won’t do it. How do you take your coffee?”

  “Black.” Drew reached behind Gilbert and cut the plastic tie around his wrists. Dianne handed him a mug of coffee.

  “Good thing, ‘cause that’s the only way we serve it here.” Dianne told him.

  “Now, Keith. How would you like to change sides and find a new line of work?” John asked him.

  “Before or after you shoot me?”

  “We weren’t actually planning on shooting you, unless you force us to. You’re sitting in our living room, drinking coffee and eating sandwiches. I’d say we’ve shown our good faith so far, wouldn’t you?”

  “Yeah, I’d say so.”

  “Then let’s talk business.” Drew told him. “Honey, would you please grab me five grand?” Ashley smiled and walked up the stairs, returning in minutes with a stack of fifty hundred-dollar bills. Crossing the room, she handed them to her husband.

  “So, suppose we outbid Shiv for your services.” Drew asked, putting the stack of bills on the coffee table in front of Gilbert. “You keep the twenty-five hundred he already gave you, and here’s five thousand more. Now, does that sound fair?”

  “If you throw in not shooting me, I’d say it sounds pretty good.” They could see he was beginning to relax.

  “Okay, I guess we can throw that in. Now, do you know why Shiv is so determined to kill us?”

  “No, he just said that we needed to get one of you alive, that’s all he said.”

  “Then we’ll tell you why. You know what a kilo of heroin is worth on the street?”

  “A whole kilo?”

  “A whole brick, two, two and a half pounds.”

  “Yeah, about a hundred and a quarter, give or take ten grand.”

  “Well, we have sixty-three kilos that were stolen from Shiv. We didn’t steal them, we found them after Shiv’s boys killed the guy who stole them. Shiv wants it back, we don’t want to give it back.”

  “Jesus, I never heard anything about that, but that would sure do it. Shiv’s not known for being the forgiving type. If word of a heist like this got around, folks’d figure Shiv for an easy mark.”

  “Apparently he was. It only took one guy to take it from him.”

  “So what do you want from me?”

  “We’re going after Shiv ourselves. If we beat him, you’re free and clear. If we don’t, I know what I’d do. I’d shoot myself somewhere not too fatal, check myself into a hospital, and call Shiv for help.”

  “Sounds about right.”

  “You like Shiv?” Drew asked.

  “Man’s a prick.” Gilbert replied. “But, what do you want from me?”

  “Shiv’s address. We already have his phone number. We’re going to sting him and take him down. It’s going to go down soon, so you’re sitting on seventy-five hundred bucks. That will allow you to stay somewhere comfortable until you hear how it comes out. Does that sound fair?”

  “More than fair, but how do you know I won’t screw you?”

  “Last week, Shiv sent a dozen guys out here to kill us. Have you seen any of them lately?”

  “No. I know that Paustian and his crew haven’t been seen around town, lately.”

  “They’re dead. They were trapped in a house down the road from here when the propane tank exploded. Never even found the bodies. Tonight, Shiv sent another dozen of you guys out here to kill us. You’re the only survivor. By tomorrow morning, there won’t be a sign of the three cars, or the eleven bodies out in our yard. If you step out onto our porch, you’ll see that there’s not a sign of damage from those Molotov cocktails you boys put together. Shiv has chased us across Europe and Asia, and across this country. All he has to show for it over the last two years is he’s running out of troops. Look around you. How bad does it look like we’re suffering?”

  “Not all that bad.” Gilbert was smiling now.

  “So, for the next week or so, who you going to bet on?”

  “I believe I’d put my money on you guys.”

  “That, my friend, would be a pretty smart
bet. Can I interest you in another sandwich?”

  § § §

  After finishing their coffee, the Sherrys and Gilbert went back outside. John mounted the tractor, while Dianne walked up the driveway to the SUVs. Meanwhile, Drew started their Bobcat. Gilbert and Ashley began gathering bodies. Drew would drive the Bobcat to a body, and they would toss it into the scoop. It took two trips to get all the bodies piled next to the hole Drew had dug in the pasture. John started pulling the three SUVs to the pasture. The bodies were stacked alongside the SUVs. It took them the better part of two hours to bury three SUVs and eleven bodies. They finished before dawn by throwing the bodies into the SUVs before towing and pushing them into the hole.

  After filling in the hole, and spreading the dirt evenly over it and around the pasture, John drove to the garage and returned with a large sack of seed. Spreading it across the dirt, he looked satisfied. “We’ll have pasture here within a week. Within two weeks, you won’t be able to tell we were here.”

  When they had all returned to the house, John handed Gilbert an envelope. “Keith, here’s another twenty-five hundred. There’s a little blue Chevy sitting out front with the keys in it. I believe you deserve a vacation. I think if you were to wait a couple of weeks before returning to Chicago, it might be the best thing for all of us.”

  “Yessir, Mr. Sherry, I believe that sounds like a plan. I want you to know how much I appreciate what you’re doing here. You’d have been within your rights to leave me in that hole, and we both know it. I don’t know if I’ll go back to Chicago at all, but I can guarantee you it won’t be soon. I’ll leave your car at the airport.”

  “That would be nice. Just leave the keys in the ashtray. Drop us a postcard, if you feel like it.”

  “You’re unusual people, you know that?”

  “It’s easy to be magnanimous when you win.” John told him.

  § § §

  “Shiv, it’s di Stasio.” Shiv had been pacing back and forth in his office, waiting for this call.

  “Did they get the bastards?”

  “I don’t know. They went out there about two o’clock this morning. It’s after noon here now, and we haven’t heard a word. We drove past the place a little while ago, and there’s folks riding horses. No sign of any of the boys. Three SUVs and a dozen armed men don’t just disappear. We checked the house through the binoculars. No bullet holes, no damage of any kind, and the folks out front are smiling and laughing. You heard from anybody, yet?”

  “Not a goddam peep. What in hell is going on here? I’m gonna to get some answers if I gotta come out there myself. You guys get back in that rented pickup truck of yours, and you drive out there and look around, again. A dozen guys don’t just fall off the face of the earth. You might pay the sheriff a courtesy call, since you’re out-of-town cops on vacation in his county. See if there was any excitement last night. I’m running out of troops, here.”

  “We’ll call you back this afternoon, Shiv. Stand by, eh?”

  “I want answers, Ralph.”

  “Call you later.”

  § § §

  “Shiv, it’s Ralph. You heard anything, yet?”

  “Not a thing. Whadya find out?”

  “We stopped in at the sheriff’s department. Had a cup of coffee and a doughnut. Last night was quiet, just like every night, they tell me. Then we drove back out to the Sherry’s place. They’re gone. The place was deserted. But I can tell you that there’s not a sign of anything being disturbed, there’s no SUVs on the place, nothing. I don’t know where those boys went when they left us at the hotel, but I can tell you where they aren’t.”

  “So now what are you gonna do?”

  “Sonny and I are going to fly home in the morning. I don’t know what else to do, Shiv. We’re baffled by this thing.”

  “Jesus, Ralph, this is really starting to piss me off. Somebody’s gonna get hurt if I don’t get some answers.”

  “Yeah, well, we’ll call you when we get back to town.” Shiv slammed the receiver down without answering.

  § § §

  17

  As soon as Scott and di Stasio had driven away, the Sherrys unsaddled the horses and turned them loose in the pasture. While the two Chicago cops were schmoozing with the Teton County sheriff’s deputies, the Sherries had caught the 3:15 Delta flight to Chicago, with a connection in the Twin Cities. It was almost 11:00 when they landed at O’Hare, and almost midnight before they got into their rooms at Embassy Suites.

  The next morning, they were eating breakfast at the Schiller Park Denny’s on River Road, while laying out their plans for the next couple of days. John was going to touch bases with CPD to get some background on Shiv Thompson. “I’m going to go play with the big boys, but I need to know that you guys are safe while I’m gone. I need you to stay in the hotel today, at least until I get back.”

  “Pop, I rented a car for the day. I thought the girls and I would hit the Brookfield Zoo, while we’re here.” Drew told his father. “I doubt if Shiv does much drug dealing at the zoo.”

  “I’d feel a lot better knowing you guys were all here, safe. If I have to worry about your safety today, I’m not going to be able to function well in what could become a very hairy day. Besides, I’d feel better if you were keeping an eye on the girls.”

  “Excuse me,” Ashley snorted. “I believe ‘the girls’ can take pretty good care of themselves, thank you very much.” John and Drew both laughed.

  “All right, Pop, we’ll be good. I guess we can give the pool a workout.” John looked around the table and got nods of assent from the girls, too.

  While Drew and the wives lounged around the pool, John rented a car and drove into the city. He had called the Chicago PD Narcotics Section, and talked to a veteran detective named Todd James. After identifying himself as a retired copper, John convinced the detective to meet him for lunch at the Chicago Firehouse, a restaurant about a mile from CPD headquarters. When James arrived, John was already waiting at an outdoor table. After introductions, they swapped war stories right through lunch, and while waiting for dessert, James finally pinned him down.

  “So, John, while I’ve enjoyed chatting with you, and I appreciate your buying me lunch, I do have a job. What exactly can I do for you?”

  “Nothing, Todd. But there’s something very big I can do for you.”

  “That sounds good. I always enjoy having people do very big things for me.”

  “I have a plan, and if you decide to go for it, it has to have been your idea. I’m not going to be involved. You get all the credit, and I disappear. How’s that sound?”

  “I don’t know yet. Sounds a little hinky on first exposure.”

  “Okay, so tell me something, cop to cop. Who’s the worst bad actor in Chicago?”

  “That’s easy. Shiv Thompson.”

  “Okay, who’s next?”

  “Oh, I’d have to say a wannabe down here on the south side named Scott Lewis.”

  “Suppose I could get rid of Thompson and Lewis for you? Legally.”

  “I’d say you were a better man than I am.”

  “I may just be. I’m going to tell you a story, Todd. If you don’t believe me, or if you try to pressure me to play the game your way, you’ll never see me again. But, if you think I have a good plan, you can wrap up both Thompson and Lewis, legally, catching them both with a fortune in heroin, in their possession.”

  “John, if that’s your name, if you can accomplish that, in such a way that the arrests stand up in court, you can pretty much write your own ticket, as far as I’m concerned.”

  “I only have two conditions. First, you’re going to nail these guys, with the goods on them. You won’t have to make any kind of probable cause case. When that happens, you don’t know me. I’m not going to testify. I’m going to walk away and you’re going to make your case on the evidence you turned up from an anonymous tip.”

  “I can live with that.”

  “The second might be a little tougher for
you. You’ve got a couple of dirty cops in your department.”

  “Only a couple? John, you’re too kind.”

  “I’m talking about a couple on Shiv’s payroll.”

  “Are you sure about that?”

  “There’s no other way Shiv could have learned the things he’s learned. If my hunch is right, these guys are probably gold shields, and I can tell you they’ve been in Wyoming for at least the last two or three days. Here’s a photograph of them casing our ranch.”

  “It shouldn’t be too hard to find out if any detective partners have been on vacation the last couple of days. Then, it shouldn’t be hard to find out if they’ve flown to Wyoming. I’ll pass this around and see if anyone recognizes them.”

  “If you find them, just know that they fingered my family for Shiv. They drove past my place in Wyoming one afternoon after following my kid home, and the next morning, three o’clock in the morning, a dozen of Shiv’s boys launched a raid on my ranch.”

  “How’d you get away?”

  “They died.”

  “All of them?”

  “Eleven of them.”

  “And the twelfth?”

  “We gave him ten grand and he disappeared.”

  “John, who are you, really?”

  “Just a retired copper, Todd, just an old retired copper. So, are we going to deal?”

  “Hang on a minute. I have to call in. I’m going to take the afternoon off. Order me another coffee, will you?”

  § § §

  Dianne and Ashley were stretched out on adjacent chaise lounges, noses deep in their omnipresent novels. Drew was alternating between swimming laps and going off the diving board. They were almost alone in the indoor pool. It was shortly after noon when Drew walked over to where his wife and mother-in-law lay reading. “I’m starved. Anybody up for a bite of lunch? We can eat right here in the dining room.”