Kierce
Page 17
Embarrassed to have her fighting his battles, yet impressed by her assertiveness, Kierce hastily spoke. “I just swore a blood oath to obey the Alpha’s orders.”
“He hasn’t given an order yet,” she said shrewdly. “We’re discussing options.”
“I think the plan has much to recommend it,” Timtur said. “And there you have my official recommendation. Clearly, more time is needed for Kierce to come fully to terms with his new abilities.”
Aydarr stared at them in silence. Kierce speculated whether he was taking private counsel from his enforcers on a tight telepathic band. He found it challenging to stand at parade rest under the Alpha’s penetrating gaze. What must Aydarr be thinking, having a human arguing about a Badari command decision? Elianna told me she was important to them, but how far can she stretch her usefulness?
“The work on the ship must take priority,” Aydarr said in a voice that brooked no argument.
What ship is he talking about? Kierce wasn’t about to ask the question or anything else. He’d find out from Elianna later, in private.
Aydarr studied him. “What do you say to this?”
“I trust Elianna’s judgment,” he said. “Obviously, there’s a lot I’m not yet aware of, but an uninhabited island would provide me a safe place to work on what the Great Mother and I discussed.” Couldn’t hurt to remind them all of his recent encounter with their deity. He wanted to be wherever Elianna was, not stuck here in the valley. “Of course, I’d prioritize my duties as assigned by you.”
“You’re no use to me with your attention split between being a man and a beast,” Aydarr said. “Limits your effectiveness and reliability in combat. Your own situational awareness would be shredded. You’d be a distraction because my men—my other soldiers—would have to keep one eye on you at all times.”
The words stung because he knew himself to be an excellent soldier in normal times, but Kierce couldn’t disagree with Aydarr’s current assessment.
“I will say, if you gain control over the entire process, and I confess to not understanding all the issues you perceive, you’d be a valuable asset in scouting and in combat, able to bring an element of offensive surprise.” Aydarr flashed his talons in the moonlight for a brief instant. “Those of us with the aspects of our animal heritage are impressive in our own right, but nothing like the full feline form you displayed.”
At least he’s trying to look on the brighter side. Kierce appreciated the Alpha’s admiration and assessment of his capabilities.
“But I do believe you could stand guard effectively in your present state of mind, especially with Elianna’s safety at stake. And working with a small unit of soldiers would be a beginning to your career with us. All right, I assign you to the duty roster at the island, effective tomorrow, with a secondary assignment of working out how to go forward from this point. Of doing whatever the goddess commanded you to do.” Aydarr issued a crisp order to Mateer. “Escort them to the domicile for the rest of tonight. I’m going home to my mate.” He nodded and strode off, clearly finished with the entire discussion.
Timtur lingered. “We don’t have communications with the island, other than one limited daily burst from the MARL unit, but if there’s an update I need to know, or an urgent question you need to ask me, feel free to add the point to the message. MARL can partition it off to keep it private if necessary.” He clasped Kierce’s shoulder briefly. “Again, welcome to the pack.”
He and Reede walked away together, leaving Kierce and Elianna with Mateer. “Grab your duffle,” the enforcer said, “And we’ll be on our way.”
As he left the glade, Kierce glanced back and blinked. Tiny green sparkles of light were flitting around the platform and the plinths, spiraling into the night sky as he watched. Had the goddess remained present for the entire discussion and the induction ceremony? He felt honored and pressured at the same time. It was on his shoulders now to work out how to live as a split being, and to deal with drug flashbacks, if the condition reoccurred despite the Great Mother’s reassurances. He squared his shoulders as he continued to walk toward the occupied portion of the valley.
He had so many factors on his side but most of all Elianna. I can do this.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Kierce was silent on the hike to the caves where people had their domiciles, a bit away from the new arrival dorm where she’d stayed before. Elianna thanked Mateer once he’d escorted them to the cave they were borrowing for the remainder of the night. “I appreciate being able to have our privacy together.”
The enforcer smiled, which created an entirely different aspect to his demeanor. “No problem at all. We’re trying to be supportive. Your flyer leaves for the island promptly two hours after dawn. I’ll see to it Walt knows he has another authorized passenger, and we’ll have your MARL unit take a special order from the Alpha to Camron, who’s in charge on the island. If there’s nothing else, I’ll be going.”
“We’re fine, thank you.” Kierce’s tone was distant but polite.
“Nicolle said she’d have basic rations delivered to the kitchen area here in the cave,” Mateer said, pausing on the threshold of the cave’s entrance. “If you want less light, you tell your portable MARL extrusion here in the cave to dim his energy. You may have enough of the phosphorescent lichen not to need the artificial light at all tonight.” He waved one hand and bounded out of sight, heading for the comfort of his own cave no doubt.
“This valley is a never ending set of wonders,” Elianna said, going to the kitchen and prowling through the storage unit. “Are you hungry?”
Kierce sat on the couch which was their sole piece of furniture, adrift on a utilitarian carpet which looked as if it belonged in a cheap spaceport hotel. “Sure, if there are any nutrition drinks. Maybe a trail ration or two. I had a good dinner when I was in the tiger form. The residents eat well here.”
“You have no idea.” She re-entered the living area and handed him the requested items. “Wait until you try the cafeteria. One of the rescued colonists is a top flight chef and she delights in providing high quality food.” Kierce’s reaction to her comment was noncommittal, but she was determined to present their future as if she had no question but that he’d be a full member of the valley’s population. She wasn’t prepared to accept anything less for him.
Elianna sat next to him on the couch and they ate their late night snack companionably. She stole sideways glances at him as she kicked off her shoes to get more comfortable, trying to guess what was on his mind and remembered what Mateer had said before he left. She sighed. Better have this out. “Did it bother you to hear Walt is the pilot flying us down there tomorrow?”
Kierce’s face took on a mulish expression. “Say what you want but the man is interested in you.” He tapped his nose. “I can tell, remember?”
“And I’m interested in you.” She slid onto his lap and put her hand on the center of his chest as he automatically folded her into his arms. “My one condition for this island assignment is you can’t have a beef with Walt.”
“If he pursues you—”
“If he hits on me I’ll tell him I’m not interested and I trust you to trust me. My job on the island is to repair and refit a Chimmer ship the pack somehow got its hands on, so Walt and Gabe can take it and try to reach the Sectors. I’ll have to work closely with both of them at times. So far he’s been entirely professional and pleasant to me and I can’t imagine he’ll suddenly change. Besides, he’s a highly respected individual here in the valley; I’ve seen his status during my short stay here. So don’t go spoiling for a needless fight.” She kissed him lightly. “What’s between you and me is our business and no one else’s.”
“I’ve missed talking with you,” he said. “When we first arrived here I was afraid this set up was a new, fiendish Khagrish trick to break my sanity and then, when your scent vanished, I was frantic with worry about you.”
“I did tell you I’d be gone for a short while.” The idea he’d belie
Kierce shrugged. “You told the tiger and he doesn’t process information.”
“I told you.” She cupped his face with her hands and leaned close. “You and the tiger are one and the man is in charge. But I apologize for not giving enough weight to the fact the feline form doesn’t comprehend complicated discussion. I hated to go but Jill and Aydarr promised me the first trip would only be for a day and they did keep their word. Forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” he said. “We have a lot to learn about each other still.”
“I’ll enjoy the process.” Unable to resist, she kissed him again, licking his lips with her tongue then plunging into the warmth of his mouth as he opened to her. She put her arms around his neck and drew him close, so her breasts rubbed his chest. Deepening the kiss she felt a wave of possessiveness sweep over her. This man was meant to be hers, surely, just as she knew she could belong to only him.
Kierce groaned as he held her tight and his cock lengthened and hardened underneath her, only to be stymied by his utility pants and her slacks. She moved from side to side, rocking a little in his hold and he broke off the kiss, saying as he did so, “Does this cave have a bedroom? The couch is totally inadequate for what I have in mind for the remaining hours of this night.”
“Let’s go find out,” she said, laughing as he stood, easily carrying her with him. She clutched at his shoulders and locked her legs behind his back. “I can walk, you know.”
“But this is more fun.” Seeming determined to leave the darker topics behind them for now, he grinned, hands under her bottom to keep her secure and headed toward an opening on the opposite side from the kitchen area. “Maybe the sleeping quarters are over here.”
When he stepped inside the natural stone arch, he whistled and she gasped. The bedroom was a smaller chamber, softly lit at the moment by lichen clinging to the rocks far above and the walls, their greens and blues and whites providing enough light to see the utilitarian bed against the far wall. Another doorway yawned to the left.
The oddly shaped metallic unit Mateer had said was provided by MARL floated into the room, veering to avoid a collision with them. “Do you desire more light?”
“No, we’re good,” Elianna said. “This place is nothing short of magical.”
The small ovoid drifted away again, out of the chamber, and Kierce walked to the bed, gently depositing her on top of the covers. He lay next to her and she rolled onto her side, yanking at his shirt to untuck it from his pants, saying as she did so,. “I’ve missed you so much.” With his co-operation, the annoying garment was removed and tossed aside, and she ran her hands over his broad back, wrapping her leg over his. The rock hard bulge pushing at his pants pressed against the vee of her legs. “Too many clothes again,” she said with a smile as she unfastened the pants.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you with my answer to Mateer, declaring we’re not mates,” he said in a rush, brow furrowed, eyes locked on hers. “I expressed myself badly. If I wasn’t cursed with this mutation the Khagrish forced on me, I’d like nothing better than to ask you to accept my mate mark. To claim each other.”
Since he provided the opening she’d been hoping for, as far as more discussion of his situation, Elianna asked, “What exactly is it you’re worried about? Are you afraid you’ll lose control and turn into the tiger unexpectedly?”
His response was prompt and firm. “Of course not.”
“Because I could handle the problem—we’d figure out safeguards. Are you afraid if you become the tiger again you’ll hurt me? Or innocent bystanders?” She was determined to get to the bottom of the issue keeping them apart at the deepest level of commitment. Being kept away from him, worrying so desperately about him because of her strong emotions where he was concerned had opened her eyes to how fiercely she wanted to be with him as a permanent partner. Now he was able to assume his rightful form, the last thing she’d expected—or wanted—was emotional distance.
He shook his head. “It’s not like that. I’d never hurt you—I couldn’t, not even as the tiger. The beast knows you’re special.”
She kissed him and hugged him close. “Then explain the situation to me.”
His voice was slow, the words halting. “The drug Innimarrg gave me does terrible things to my mind, inducing painful, disgusting, terrifying thoughts and hallucinations. The only way to escape was to sink deep into the tiger.” He gave her a proud look, which made her heart ache, remembering how he’d been tested. “I know how to take their physical abuse and punishment. I’m a warrior, I can handle the torture, recover and stay unbroken. But this—this mental assault—” He fisted his hands as if he sought to do battle with someone or something, then his shoulders slumped. “You must think me a failure.”
“I think you’re a brave man, and I hate the torture the Khagrish inflicted on you. And I totally understand how hard it is to combat a mental assault.” The anguish in his voice made her sad and protective of him. Holding him close, she said, “But didn’t the goddess clean all of the drug out of your system?”
He averted his eyes and his voice became so soft she could barely hear him. “I’m afraid the recurrences will persist. If I can still shift into the beast, if the cat is indeed the other half of my being for the rest of my life, the temptation to escape into the near-mindless state will be insidious. I’m constantly thinking I feel the first hint of the intense symptoms starting, or else I’m afraid the next minute will bring them. Since she left me the tiger, I have to fight the urge to flee into becoming the animal.”
Elianna put her hand under his chin and gently turned his head so she could see him. “Hey, I think the concerns are probably a natural anxiety after all you’ve been though. Every minute you don’t have a flashback, don’t become the tiger to escape, you’re building a stronger boundary for your true self, and I’m here to help. But now I wonder if I should have insisted you come to the island. Maybe it would have been better to stay here and work with the healer.”
“No. Being with you will be the best thing. I’m not saying or thinking I want to place the responsibility for my full recovery on you because that wouldn’t be fair or right. It’s my task to handle. But you understand me at the deepest levels.” He took a deep breath and framed her face with his hands. “And my love for you is my shield against what Innimarrg tried to do to me.”
Warmth and happiness filled her heart, to hear those words from him but she was resigned to the reality of a difficult road ahead. Desperate for the right thing to say, Elianna was driven to make it clear how much she loved him, without putting additional pressure on him. He was piling the stress on himself. Kierce needed her to be supportive, and patient.
“I want us to be mates, which is a powerful incentive.” He searched her face and she remembered he had enhanced vision even as the man. “Would you be mine, if I were stable?”
“Yes. Absolutely, because I love you too, stubborn man.” Joy surged through her entire body, making her tremble. The question, even though it was couched as a possibility, rather than an outright proposal, was what she’d hoped for between them. Claiming this man to be hers was what she wanted more than anything, but he had to be ready. “Although I think you’re more recovered than you’re allowing yourself to believe. But we’ll see how it goes on the island.” They’d talked more than enough for now, given his level of agitation, and Elianna moved so she could kiss him.
At first he seemed willing but hesitant in his embrace.
Elianna leaned away from him, studying his expression and body language. “Do we need to talk more? I’m here to do whatever you need but I was hoping we could stop talking and be together, the way we were in the outside enclosure at the lab, you know?”
He leaned his forehead against hers and held her so tight she could feel his heart beating. “I want to be with you tonight more than you can imagine, if it won’t make you sad to lie with me when there’s no possibility of being mates.”
“Hey.” She gave him feathery kisses along his clenched jawline. “We’ll be mates someday, I have faith, but even if we never cross that bridge for one reason or another, there’s nothing to keep us from being together here and now. We love each other and nothing else is required. Except fewer clothes in the way.”
Elianna slid off the bed and took off her garments in a rush, then watched appreciatively as he removed his new boots and the utility pants.
Naked, Kierce reached for her, pulling her onto the bed again. “My answer is yes, as long as you’re sure. I never want to cause you any sorrow but my desire for you is undeniable. And welcome.” Now he smiled, caressing her breast with one hand and lowering his head to taste the rosy nipple.
Elianna reached between their bodies to stroke his cock, root to tip, which she knew aroused him without fail. He loved it when she touched him and even more when she used her mouth to caress and stimulate him, which she did now, swirling her tongue over the plum-shaped head and then applying suction. Kierce’s hips bucked as she employed her best efforts, and he ran his hands over her body, teasing and tickling and caressing, until they were both hot and impatient to come together fully.
Kierce pulled her under him and guided himself into her, his thrusts powerful and possessive. She rose to meet him without hesitation, giving as good as she got, until they both tipped over the edge of ecstasy and banished their worries for another time, lost in the mutual pleasure and the closeness of their union, bonded mates or not.
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