The Last Howard Girl (Tudor Chronicles Book 3)

by Lesley Jepson

  Meg’s face fell at the thought of Lettice’s two daughters leaving her nursery to be with their mother. ‘When does she leave, Cat?’

  ‘As soon as Francis can manage to organise it, Meg. Within the week, I hazard.’

  Chapter 37

  obert kissed Lettice’s hard belly, just starting to swell with her latest babe, and fondled her lushly heavy breast with his hand. Lettice dragged in a shuddering breath.

  ‘Robin, what am I going to do? Without you? Without this? Shut away like a madwoman.’ Tears escaped the sides of her eyes and Robert lifted himself up on his elbow and kissed them away.

  ‘We shall write, lovely Lily. And we shall wait until you return.’

  Lettice squeezed her eyelids together to try and stop her tears falling. She didn’t want to spend her last hours with Robert a sobbing wreck. She turned on her side to look into his eyes, as his hand stroked her side and hip.

  ‘I shall return as soon as I can. As soon as our baby is born, I swear.’ Robert’s eyes widened as she spoke and she laughed delightedly. ‘I am determined that this baby is ours, Robin. His last name may have to be Deveraux, but his first name will be Robert.’ He gasped and Lettice continued, stroking her fingers down his chest, ‘and even if it’s a daughter, I will name her Robyn.’

  Robert caught her hand in his, and spoke urgently, ‘Have a care, Lily. If you do such a thing, our secret might be a secret no longer.’ Lettice moved slightly on the bed so her whole body pressed against his and she rotated her pelvis enticingly. Robert’s eyes closed briefly and she giggled again at his obvious reaction.

  ‘”Robert” is a family name of Walter’s, so they will think nothing of that for a son, and as for a daughter, Lissey Sheffield’s real name is Douglass, and that is so much worse than Robyn. No wonder she uses Lissey!’ Lettice bent her head forward and kissed Robert passionately.

  ‘Now, my Lord, there is to be no more talking. If I am to be gone from you for such a long time, I will need plenty to think about while we are apart.’ Robert groaned in his throat as he kissed her back and she brought her leg over his hip. His hand smoothed over her buttock and there was no more talking for a long time.

  ***

  ‘Thomas has saddled your horse, my Lady. And your brother is driving the cart with your clothes chests in.’ Robert tried to take a deep breath as he led Lettice to the mounting block, her trembling hand on his arm.

  ‘Thank you, my Lord.’ Lettice kept her eyes down as she climbed the shallow steps, then as Robert put his hands on her waist and lifted her onto the side saddle, she looked at him and quickly looked away.

  Sir Francis Knollys was busy testing the ropes of the cart holding his daughter’s belongings and speaking to his son, giving orders about the journey. Robert didn’t want Sir Francis to overhear his conversation, so he moved to the side of Lettice’s horse and pretended to adjust the buckles on the saddle.

  ‘Do not let your father see you weep, Lily. It might confirm his fears.’ His whisper was low.

  Lettice nodded silently and blinked her tears away, trying to take deep breaths and blowing them out through trembling lips.

  ‘We shall write, lovely Lily. And I have a gift for you.’ Lettice looked down from her horse questioningly as Robert drew a book from inside his doublet, wrapped in a silk kerchief. He spoke slightly more loudly, so Sir Francis could hear if he chose.

  ‘A book, my Lady. It may amuse you in your time away. It is a selection of tales from the court of King Arthur.’ Robert showed her the copy of Thomas Malory’s Morte D’Arthur and then covered it again, pressing it into her hands.

  ‘It is set in a very different court to ours, my Lady, but I am sure you will enjoy the stories,’ he again lowered his voice to a whisper, ‘and if you need to write to me in cipher, then use this. I have a copy that is the twin of this one, lovely Lily.’ She nodded briefly in understanding and then gathered her reins.

  ‘Thank you, my Lord. Please bid the Queen good bye for me. I am sorry to have gone before she is allowed to return to us.’ Robert caressed her foot under the pretence of shortening her stirrup, allowing his hand to stroke her leg until he could bear no more and he stood back. Lettice closed her eyes then took a shuddering breath and looked behind her.

  ‘Do come on, Ed. We have yet to get the girls from Aunt Meg and their things have all got to fit in there as well. I hope you left enough room.’ Ed looked back at her in bewilderment at her sharp tone and shook the reins to start the cart.

  ‘Good bye, daughter.’ Francis raised his hand in farewell, but Lettice simply stared at him before she turned her horse out of the stable yard, her hand caressing the book laid in front of her on the saddle.

  ***

  Robbie, I must see you privately before I return to court. I cannot bear that your first sight of me will be in public. I have much I must tell you before I appear before everyone. Much to explain. I am always yours. Bess.

  ***

  My love. I am yours to command. I am yours. I await your pleasure as always. R.

  ***

  Robert paced up and down in the presence chamber of Elizabeth’s apartment. It seemed such a long time since the day she had collapsed, a very long twelve weeks ago. He had asked Cat why Elizabeth felt she needed to see him privately, but all Cat had said was that he might find Elizabeth much changed by her brush with death.

  His stomach was clenching as he paced, and he felt his mouth becoming dry as he waited nervously for the door to open. He felt ridiculous; he had known Elizabeth since they were ten and both just come to court, he was never nervous before her. And yet…..

  The latch on Elizabeth’s bedchamber door rattled, and the few candles that dimly lit the room flickered and guttered in the draught as the door slowly opened. Robert stepped forward, pushing down his apprehension and held his hand out to lead her to the fire, where wine and sweetmeats had been set for them. In his mind he was telling himself he was a soldier, he had seen the scenes of battle, he had witnessed the death of his own brother, blown apart by a cannon ball; nothing was as bad as that. He looked up from his bow into Elizabeth’s eyes. And he smiled.

  Robert could see she was terrified of his reaction. Her lower lip was red and swollen and glistening with the salve that Cat would have made her use before she came to see him. He was careful to keep looking into her eyes as he stepped forward, taking both hands in his own, and bending his head he kissed her gently on the mouth.

  ‘My love.’

  He could feel her hand trembling within his grasp, so he put her hand on his arm and walked her to the fireplace. When they were in front of the huge chair, he circled her frighteningly slender form and took her with him into the seat, cradling her as he used to when they were younger and she wasn’t yet Queen. Elizabeth let out a huge sigh and leaned her head on his shoulder.

  ‘Oh, Robbie, I have missed you so much.’ He could still feel the tension in her body, even as she leaned into him, and he could hear the tears in her voice as she spoke.

  ‘And I you, my love. I tried to see you, but the doctor wouldn’t allow it.’ He chuckled, more to try and lighten the atmosphere than with any real amusement, ‘I feel I owe him an apology, Bess. I threatened his person and defamed his lineage.’ He felt her try to smile at his words, and he shook his head sadly, ‘Alas, it did no good. He still refused me admittance, as did Kat and Blanche, your other two guard dogs.’

  ‘They could do no other, Robbie. It was dangerous. And I looked ….. horrific. Still look …..,’ tears stopped her words in her throat, so Robert changed his position so he could look at her properly for the first time.

  ‘I can see you have been ill, my love,’ he traced the shadows under her eyes with his thumb, catch
ing a tear and licking it off, ‘and you are frighteningly thin,’ he tightened his arm which still held her in his lap, ‘but you are still my love, my Bess, my Queen.’ He bent his mouth again and captured her lips, kissing her properly this time, tasting her gently and nipping her lips with his own as he ended the kiss and nuzzled into her neck, exposed by the angle of her head.

  ‘But Robbie, I am scarred. Horribly scarred. My face is a ruin, and my body is ….’ Robert carried on kissing her neck and moved down to her bosom. Elizabeth had dressed simply for this meeting; as he held her, he could feel no corset or petticoat roll beneath her skirt. He could see she had on an embroidered shift beneath her gown, and he heard the whisper of one silk petticoat as she moved against him. Her hair was caught in a jewelled net at the back of her head, instead of her usual intricate copper pile. He finished kissing her and met her gaze.

  ‘I can feel your bones through your gown, Bess. And I can see some of the marks the disease has made here,’ he kissed her temple, ‘here,’ he kissed her jaw, ‘and here,’ he kissed her neck. ‘But you seem to think you have turned into a Caliban, a monster, when what you really need is plenty of good food, lots of fresh air and many, many kisses.’ She permitted herself a small smile at his words and he sighed; he knew he needed to speak plainly.

  ‘Bess, you have been near death. It is a terrible disease, and few who suffer it remain unscathed. But you have to understand that I love YOU, Bess. It matters not to me that you are thin, or scarred, just that you live and I have another chance to love you.’

  ‘But ….’ He kissed her again to still her words.

  ‘If I went to war for you, Bess, went to Ireland and lost an arm, or an eye, or my leg, would you love me less? Would you cast me off, throw me down?’

  ‘No, Robbie. You would still be my Robbie, the husband of my heart.’

  ‘Then allow me this, Bess. If we had said the words, if we had been in front of an altar, then we would have sworn ‘for better or worse’. You may have been changed by your illness, but you are still of my heart.’ She sighed and settled further into him, and he felt a lot of the tension leave her body as she relaxed. Then she squirmed a little in his lap and laughed. The first genuine laugh he had heard from her. He buried his face in her neck and kissed her shoulder.

  ‘And you have obviously felt through your skirt what you do to me,’ he kissed her nose, ‘still do to me.’

  ‘Yes, Robbie,’ she whispered, and he could feel her become more the Bess she had been before her illness in those words.

  ‘Then can I carry you back into your room, my love? And reaffirm our vows to one another?’

  ‘Only one candle though, Robbie. For now at least.’ She tightened her arms round his neck as he stood with her in his grasp and he carried her towards her bedchamber.

  ‘One candle or one thousand, my love. It makes no difference to me. You are still mine, as I am yours.’ He laid her gently on her freshly-made bed and kicked the door closed.

  ***

  The clash of metal on metal drowned out by cheers and catcalls drifted up to Elizabeth’s window and she sat on the window seat watching the scene unfold in the stable yard below.

  The sound of the key in the lock made her turn her head as Cat entered the room.

  ‘Cat, Cat. Come and see. Come and look.’ Elizabeth stretched a wasted arm out to take Cat’s hand and bring her to sit on the seat. Cat smiled at the excitement in Elizabeth’s voice.

  ‘What am I looking at, Princess?’ Cat peered into the yard far below.

  ‘Robbie,’ sighed Elizabeth delightedly.

  ‘Sparring with that pet henchman of his, I’ll hazard.’ Cat looked out of the window and saw Robert, stripped down to his soft leather riding breeches and boots, circling in the yard with his dagger in one hand and sword in the other, surrounded by the squires, stable lads and the pot boys who had escaped their kitchen duties, all cheering.

  Elizabeth giggled at Cat’s description of Thomas, who still walked with an air of intimidation no matter where he was.

  ‘Isn’t he wonderful, Cat? I never realised how well-muscled and strong he was. And he is so fast, look!’ Elizabeth watched breathlessly as Robert twisted away from Thomas to a hoot of cheers from the squires and came back from the other direction in the blink of an eye.

  ‘Really, Princess?’ Cat looked at Elizabeth doubtfully and Elizabeth blushed and chuckled softly.

  ‘I see him in candle light, Cat, in torchlight, in moonlight and in the grey of dawn. I feel the power in his shoulders, the strength in his thighs, the clench of his buttocks. But I never see him like that, shining with sweat from battle and dust clinging to his skin.’ Her tongue touched her lips as she spoke, and Cat’s eyebrows rose.

  A huge cheer went up from the boys, as Thomas disarmed Robert and he conceded the bout. Both men walked to the water barrel in the corner and took a long drink, then poured the dipper of water over their heads. Elizabeth watched as Robert shook the drops from his hair, then she left the window and sat in the chair at her dresser.

  ‘Will you help me dress this morning, Cat? Just you, until I am in my gown?’ Cat smiled and nodded, then bustled round the room collecting garments for the Queen to wear. Elizabeth looked at herself in the glass, touching her cheeks and her prominent collar bones, and picking up a strand of lifeless hair.

  ‘Oh, Cat. I am so thin, me and my hair both.’ Cat looked across and smiled again.

  ‘Good food and fresh air will soon make you well, my lovely.’

  ‘Robbie said that last night, Cat.’ Elizabeth laughed at Cat through the mirror.

  ‘Was everything ….. well, between you, Princess?’

  ‘Yes, Cat. He was very kind, and very loving. Almost himself, I thought.’

  ‘Almost, Princess?’ Cat’s brow furrowed questioningly. Elizabeth sighed, and Cat walked to the dresser and picked up Elizabeth’s hair brush, shaking out the thinning locks and brushing carefully. Elizabeth’s eyes closed in satisfaction.

  ‘Even before I was ill, Cat, I felt there was something different between us. He was loving and attentive, and yet, something was there. Ever since he asked me to wed and I refused, and we proposed him for the Scots Queen.’ She stopped speaking and gathered her thoughts as Cat brushed gently.

  ‘And while I was ill I had a long time to think, about me, about him and what I was expecting.’ Elizabeth opened her eyes and looked at Cat through the glass. ‘I am being less than fair to him, Cat. I know this, and I find myself regretting my behaviour but unable to change it.’ Tears began to gather in her eyes.

  ‘Regretting not marrying him, Princess?’

  ‘No Cat. But regretting that I am preventing him from having an heir. His brother Ambrose has no children despite many years of marriage. Robbie is unmarried, and all his other brothers are dead.’ Elizabeth shrugged. ‘I should let him have his own life, Cat, his own heir,’ she shook her head, ‘but I cannot let him go.’ Elizabeth began to chew her lip and Cat set the brush down and picked up the pot of salve.

  ‘Princess, he loves you. While he is content to be by your side, I wouldn’t worry about things changing. And if his contentment changes, then that is the time to think of a solution. But you can’t solve a problem you don’t yet know exists.’

  Cat touched some salve to Elizabeth’s lip, and then brought the embroidered shift to start dressing the Queen. She untied the shoulders of the nightgown and allowed it to fall to the floor, then put the shift over Elizabeth’s head and let it fall over the Queen’s thin body.

  ‘My clothes are too big for me, Cat.’ Elizabeth looked bleakly at her and Cat compressed her lips.

  ‘I think, Princess, that if we sew ruffles in the front of your shif
ts, it would improve the fall of your bodice.’ Cat walked round the Queen, appraising her appearance in her shift. ‘And if we put the petticoat roll on top, and the hoop underneath, it will help with the hang of your skirt. Once you regain some weight, we can adjust how many petticoats you wear. I can always tack up your hems if they are too long.’

  Elizabeth looked down at her flat bosom and thin hips shrouded by the fine cotton of her shift, then looked up at Cat, forehead creased in question. ‘Ruffles, Cat?’ Cat laughed.

  ‘Do you think all the ladies of your court are as buxom as they appear, Princess? Some of them are as flat as a kitchen table. Margaret Clifford may look like she is going to boil over the neck of her gown, but believe me, there is a lot of silk under there.’ Elizabeth’s shoulders were shaking with laughter as Cat described the Countess of Derby.

  ‘If you prefer, I will ask Meg if she would sew them, Princess. Then the seamstresses won’t gossip, and she will be glad of the distraction, since she has an empty nursery at the moment.’

  ‘I was sorry to hear that Francis has made Lettice go to Rotherfield Greys to wait for her baby, Cat. You must miss her, and the little girls.’

  ‘I do, Princess. The girls were a delight, and having Lettice among the ladies? Well, at least I knew there was one of them that would obey me without question. I so love instant obedience.’ She chuckled, ‘I shall have to see if Kit has finished training one of my other girls to take her place until she comes back. Maisie or Beth might be just the person.’ Elizabeth smiled and nodded, thinking of the parade of ladies in waiting that passed through her household under the watchful eye of Robert’s sister and Cat.

  ‘Send a message to Will and the council to tell them the meeting is to be postponed until after the noon meal, Cat. Send someone down to tell Robbie the same thing. I don’t think I will be ready until after then,’ Elizabeth looked at herself in the glass and shook her head sadly.

  ‘It is going to take some work to make the Lioness of England appear today.’