Life After Perfect
Page 6
She picked up a piece of paper and an ink pen. What do I even say?
She sat in his chair, and spun toward the large windows that overlooked the city. She couldn’t even cry.
She turned back around and leaned forward. Her fingers stroked the fine leather of the desk pad she’d bought him on his birthday last month. The bomber-jacket leather was so soft. It had been a fun splurge. He was hard to buy for because they really bought whatever they wanted when they wanted it, but when she found this . . . she knew it would be perfect.
He’d barely been able to keep his hands off the fine soft leather when she’d given it to him. Not unlike the way he seemed to be with that woman today.
She reached into her purse and pulled out her new lipstick. Bright magenta with just a hint of sparkle to it. He’d said it made her mouth look sexy.
She twisted the lip color up and scrawled L i A R in big letters across the entire thirty-six inches of the desk pad.
The letters looked fluorescent against the dark leather. The letter i had come out a little short.
She stared at it. That little i taunted her. No surprise, because I am feeling right small today. Rather than extend the I to the height of the rest of the letters, she lifted the lipstick to her mouth and ran it across her lips in a thick layer, then leaned forward and dotted that lowercase i with her lips. “You don’t deserve me. Kiss that.”
She hoped the hot pink never came out of the leather.
“Bye, love,” she said as she headed for the door.
Standing at the door, she took one last glance back. There was something calming about what she’d just done. She straightened herself and pasted a perfect smile on her face.
The receptionist, on the other hand, looked so pale Katherine wondered if she might get the poor girl some water.
“I’m sorry,” the girl mouthed.
“No. He is.” Katherine strode out of the building, not bothering to look back.
When she got to the parking garage, she stepped out of her heels and ran the stairs. It was a relief to burn some of the adrenaline that was making her body ache, the exercise releasing some of the anxiousness in her gut.
She stood next to her car wondering if Ron’s receptionist was hard at work trying to remove her message. She had a feeling the girl may have just gone home sick right then and there, and the way she looked, no one would have questioned her sincerity.
Katherine started the car, and silenced the radio, needing to steer clear of the happy music that she’d been dancing her way through the morning to. She didn’t feel happy, didn’t want to feel happy, and didn’t know if she’d ever smile a real smile again.
Now what? Change the locks on the house? Can I even legally do that?
Would she even need to? Clearly his preferences lay elsewhere. Once he knew that she knew, he might not even show his face.
He could have his little mistress. More power to him. She probably didn’t even have a job. Little Twinkie. No. Ho Ho. Yeah, that was more like it. She hoped the girl drained him for every penny he’d ever saved. It would serve him right. What kind of woman slept with another woman’s husband?
The lowest of low.
Katherine didn’t know her next step, but did know that she needed time. Time to figure it all out. This was the kind of problem that required a plan.
Without a second thought, she dialed her boss.
“Didn’t you just leave out of here?” Dave Harris asked.
“Not too long ago. I had something come up. A family emergency.”
“Everything okay?”
“Not really. I’m on the road, heading out of town. I need to take a leave of absence. I’m sorry it’s such short notice. I need at least a month. I can explain later if you need—”
“No explanations necessary, unless you just need the ear.”
“No. I can’t talk about it yet.”
“Katherine, you take care of your family. That’s the most important thing. We’ll cover things here.”
“I might need the whole ninety days.” It was one of the benefits, although it was rare anyone ever took advantage of it, especially since it was without pay.
“We can cross that bridge when we get to it. Do what you need to do. Touch base with me later.”
“My laptop is locked in my desk if you need to secure it.”
“Good, that will save you the trouble of mailing it in while you’re on leave.”
“Thank you so much, Dave.” Katherine knew she was lucky to work for him. Some people wouldn’t have a benefit like this so easily initiated, even if most companies dangled it as one.
“Is there anything I can do?”
He was always so supportive. Not just a coworker, but right up there on the friend list. He’d be shocked when he found out. Or maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe it was a man’s code or something. “No. Nothing anyone can do. Time’s what I need right now.” That wasn’t entirely untrue.
“Make it be on your side then, gal.”
“Thanks.” She hung up the phone and closed her eyes. One five-minute phone call and she had a leave of absence. That was almost too easy.
She put her car in drive and navigated the tight curves toward the garage exit. At the crossarm, she took her credit card from her wallet. Just as she was ready to swipe the card in the machine, she hesitated, and then switched it out for Ron’s. She never used his credit card. They had each other’s cards, just in case, but they’d just always settled their own spending. Not today. No sir.
If Ron had any doubts that it had been she who left that four-letter message on his desk, in case multiple women were competing for his affection (the thought!), the twelve-dollar parking fee on his credit card would solve that little puzzle for him pretty quick.
“Thank you very much,” she sneered.
Cars packed her in on all sides, but at least traffic was moving. She drove in silence. Twice she picked up her phone to call Shaleigh, but then decided she just wasn’t up to discussing things with anyone, not even her lawyer, yet.
When she pulled into her driveway, she didn’t bother putting her car in the garage. Partly because it always drove Ron crazy when she didn’t, and partly because she wasn’t sure she planned to stay. She stared at the house. It wasn’t a home anymore. He’d just ruined that.
She switched off the ignition and sat there.
Just this morning she’d wanted nothing more than to spend more time with her husband and strengthen their bond. Maybe start that family.
If anyone had asked her this morning, she’d have sworn on her life that she’d have a forty-plus-year marriage like Bertie and Donald’s. They’d always seemed so happy, but then even they had secrets.
And now . . . it was making her physically ill to even think about seeing her husband’s face one more time. She’d always sworn she wouldn’t have a marriage like her own mom and dad. They never talked about anything. Nope, they just complained about each other to everyone. She’d always thought if there was any kind of problem, she and Ron would be able to talk about it, and solve it. But then she hadn’t even realized there was a problem, had she? Had she been too busy to even notice?
Katherine sat in the driveway for so long she began to sweat. On a hotter day, she could have suffocated in the car. Wouldn’t that have been a surprise for Ron when he got home? No, she wasn’t the type to go wallowing in self-pity. Lock his ass in the car to suffocate? Maybe.
She pulled herself together and got out. As she walked up the sidewalk, she heard Peggy calling her name as she made her way across the yard.
“I was beginning to think you’d passed out in your car,” she said.
Peggy must have seen her drive up. She looked better than she had yesterday afternoon. Today she wore a crisp white blouse and lots of silver jewelry. “How are you doing?”
“Good. Tucker go
t his papers this morning.” Her wrists jingled from the row of bracelets. “Lord, he hit the roof. Movers left like twenty minutes ago with all of his stuff. That was a weird feeling. To watch someone pack up your husband’s stuff. I mean it’s not like he’s dead. Or maybe he should be. I mean not dead-dead. Dead to me. Wait . . .” She reached for Katherine’s hand. “Are you okay?”
A choked cry escaped from her. And that was it. She hadn’t cried when she caught Ron. Hadn’t cried when she scribbled the message on his desk. Hadn’t broken down all the way home, but one look into Peggy’s eyes and she’d lost all of her restraint, and she couldn’t even catch her breath to explain.
“Oh, my goodness. Katherine? I’m so sorry. I was just rambling. All about me. I didn’t even notice. What is going on?”
Katherine folded to a heap on the front porch.
“Did something happen to Ron? Oh, God. He’s not dead, is he? You know how I’m always saying things like that. Has something happened to him?”
Katherine let out a halfhearted laugh through her tears. Oh, something had happened to Ron all right, was happening pretty frequently to him, too. But not like Peggy was thinking.
“Let’s get you inside,” Peggy said.
“I can’t.” Katherine shook her head and clenched her keys tighter in her hand. She couldn’t go inside. There was nothing in there she needed. Nothing but more lies. She leaned forward on her knees and cried.
Peggy sat down next to her and rubbed a hand along her back. “Honey. What’s wrong?”
“I’m so sorry. You’re going through all of this stuff, too. It’s not fair. I’m so sorry about Tucker.”
“Oh, Katherine, you’re more upset than I am. Honey, don’t do this to yourself. I’m going to be fine. Yes, he’s going to be a big fat pain in the ass about it. Already conjured up a lawyer to do battle with me, but I’m not the least bit worried. And no matter what he does or how long he drags it out, it’s going to be on his dime.” She grabbed Katherine’s hand. “It’s okay, honey.”
“No. It’s not.” Katherine ran a hand across her face.
“Let me at least go in and get you some tissues.”
Katherine handed over the keys and Peggy went inside.
By the time Peggy came out with a glass of water and a box of tissues, Katherine had pulled herself somewhat together. “I’m sorry, Peggy.”
“Don’t be. We’re friends. Now what in the heck has you so upset?”
Katherine tugged two tissues from the box, and then squeezed them into her hand. “Peggy, I saw Ron with another woman today.”
Peggy’s lips pulled into a tight line. She shook her head, then tilted it slightly as her eyes softened in response.
Katherine hated to ask, but she had to. “Did you know?”
Peggy lowered her chin. “No, honey. I didn’t know. Ron isn’t Tucker. I’m sure Ron was very discreet. Are you sure what you saw was . . . you know.”
She nodded. “No question about it.” She pulled her phone out and scrolled to the picture of Ron kissing the woman. “Right in the street.” She shoved the phone into Peggy’s hands.
Her friend took a long look at the picture, even zoomed in, and then dropped her hands to her lap. “No way to really wiggle out of that one.” The redhead tilted the phone to the left. “You don’t even do CPR in that position.”
Katherine took the phone back. She took one more look at the picture, resulting in a groan, and then pressed the power button. Even the red slide to power off prompt annoyed her right now.
“Maybe you can work things out. Couples do it all the time. You know middle-age craziness and all that.”
She flashed Peggy a look. “Seriously? I could never forgive this.”
“Me either. I just wanted you to consider it.” Peggy wiggled her toes, the nails bright orange, in her sandals. “What are you going to do?”
“I’d like to run away.”
“Then do it.” Peggy leaned her head on Katherine’s shoulder. “You have a career and you can take care of yourself. Trust me: I’ll be in an ugly, nasty fight with Tucker for months, maybe years, over all of this. He’s going to nickel-and-dime me to death. You don’t have to go through it. If I were in your shoes, my ass would be in that cute little sports car and I’d be halfway to somewhere else by now.” She wiggled her toes again. “Well, right after I got a nice new pedi to match the car. I wouldn’t want to clash.” She laughed and nudged Katherine. “Come on, honey. Giggle a little. We have to stay positive. Somehow.”
“Really? You’d up and run away?”
“Yeah. Really. I mean, call Shaleigh and let her do all the legal stuff, but you don’t need to put yourself through all of this. Can’t you work from anywhere? With all the travel you do for work, I’d suspect so.”
“I can, but I actually called my boss right after everything went down and asked for a leave of absence.”
“Oh, girl. You are crazy if you don’t get out of here right now. What’s stopping you?”
“I don’t know.”
Peggy stood up. “Come on. If you’re one-hundred-percent sure you don’t want to consider forgiving him . . . then leave.”
Could she really do that? Did she want him to come home and grovel and swear his allegiance on their relationship? Well, yeah. But would she ever believe him again? No. “I’m leaving.”
“Good. Let’s go pack your stuff. You can be out of here, and licking your wounds in a super-nice suite with room service, before Ron ever gets home tonight.”
Katherine sniffed back the tears, and stood . . . ready to forge ahead. “You’re right. I don’t want an apology. I don’t want to hear an excuse, or have him turn this around to be my fault. What’s done is done.”
Chapter Five
“Come on.” Peggy hopped up and opened the front door.
Katherine paused in the foyer. Like she was a visitor in her own house. She turned to her friend. “Peggy? I’m so sorry I never told you about Tucker crossing lines with women. I mean I never knew he actually did anything, but all the wives complained about the way he was overly friendly, and not one of us did anything to stop him. I’m so sorry. Will you ever forgive me?”
“I know,” she said quietly. “It’s funny how crisp and clear hindsight became once I knew the truth. I wouldn’t wish it on my best friend. I’m sorry you were put in that position with Tucker. I’m sorry you’re going through this too. I wouldn’t wish this kind of betrayal on anyone.”
But Katherine had to wonder if it was some kind of karma retaliation. If she’d been a better friend. If she’d kneed that son of a gun Tucker Allen right in the family jewels and told Peggy, maybe her own situation would be different. Something she’d never know now.
Katherine looked around her home in a new light. It was funny how one teensy thing could change everything. Well, it wasn’t really all that little. When it came to lies, this wasn’t an itty-bitty one.
The pictures of their happy moments sat on the mantel and tables, and now they looked like the ones that came in the frames when you buy them. Like a good-looking couple you don’t know who needs to be replaced with real people.
“You and I don’t deserve this,” Katherine said.
“You’re right.” Peggy took both of Katherine’s hands in her own. “Don’t forget that. We deserve better. Trust me, there will be days when you’ll find yourself searching for what you did wrong. This is their problem. Their shortcoming. Not ours.”
“Easy to say.” Katherine sucked in a deep breath. After all, if she’d been enough, been perfect, would he have ever needed to stray? She could have stroked his ego more. It was probably hard on a he-man’s ego to have his wife make more money. Not that they ever talked about it. “You’re right. It’s going to be hard to not blame myself.”
“But don’t. Promise me,” Peggy said.
Katherine wasn’t
about to make that promise. She’d just be a liar if she did.
She scanned the room. How do you pack just a few things? Memories, treasures, pieces of her whole life were in this house. “How do I even figure out what I need?” She walked past so many things that held importance it was hard not to want to scoop up every little memory and take it with her. But then she’d need a moving van, maybe two, and there’d be time to come back for that stuff. Right now, she just needed space. “I guess this is like ‘what do you grab in a fire drill?’ Only the critical stuff.”
Katherine stood at the base of the stairs and clutched the handrail. Had he ever had that woman here, in their bed? While she was traveling? Opportunity. She’d certainly given him plenty of that, if not reason. She lifted a heavy leg to the first step on the stairway and then trudged upstairs.
Peggy followed and helped Katherine fill her wheeled travel bag with casual wear and underclothes; then she took to the bathroom and grabbed the makeup and personal items Katherine might need.
“Just a minute,” Katherine said as she eased past Peggy into the bathroom. She looked around: her favorite perfumes and the embroidered hand towel her grandmother had made for her as a wedding gift were on the counter. She touched the worn fabric. It was hard to leave anything behind. Her attention settled on Ron’s toothbrush.
Peggy stepped behind her.
“He has the best smile,” Katherine said, tears welling at the conflicting emotions coursing through her. “Damn him.”
Peggy snatched the toothbrush from the holder. “Do you have any white vinegar?”
“Yeah. In the kitchen. Why?”
“Come on.” Peggy raced down the stairs and Katherine followed her. “Get me that white vinegar.” Peggy grabbed a coffee cup from the sink drainer and stood at the ready. Toothbrush in one hand, coffee mug in the other.
Katherine slammed through two cabinets and then walked over to Peggy with the vinegar. “What are we doing?”