My Forbidden Mentor

by Laura Mills

  “Wouldn’t it be a perfect place to test the waters?”

  He knew what the gleam in her eyes meant. John pulled Melissa aside to jar her attention and then shifted, aiming his attention toward Jack. “Jack, will you give us a moment?” John stared him down, daring him to refuse.

  “Of course, Lord Blackburn,” Jack obliged, trailing off.

  What was she thinking? He switched back to her. She was about to expose the plans they had taken such care to guard. He leaned into her. “Have you lost your mind? Pay attention to how freely you speak when around others. Just as well, we are not prepared.” He spoke in a low, harsh tone. “You and I need to be on better terms for this to work.”

  Her head tipped to one side, giving him a direct look. “Is that an excuse, John? You’ve had reservations from the beginning about me riding for you, haven’t you?”

  He gazed down into her inquiring eyes, crossing his arms over his chest to keep from touching her like he wanted to. “I have complete faith in your riding abilities. If I had reservations before I certainly don’t have them now, but it’s not your riding skills I’m hesitant about. It’s you and I and having trust.”

  “Are you saying you don’t trust me? In what way?” He needed to explain that one.

  “That’s not it, Melissa. There’s a barrier between us and I don’t like it.” He stopped to look around, ensuring that they remained somewhat alone. “When you’re out there on top of Chief riding like the wind, I want you to be full of confidence. I want you to believe in yourself and the mount you’re riding. I want you to believe the only outcome for you is to win. Visualize it and make it happen.” His eyes grew large with expression and the tone of his voice elevated with excitement as he explained.

  “I’m confident when I ride, John.”

  “You won’t be one hundred percent if you and I are at a standstill. I know, Melissa.” He searched her eyes with his, wondering if he should share with her anything of what he’d been going through. Beautiful hazel eyes shimmered back at him, reflecting complete interest in what he was about to say. “Do you know how these past weeks have been for me? Excruciating hell, that’s how, because no matter how hard I try to put you out of my mind, no matter how involved I get myself with my thoroughbreds, lingering in the back of my mind is you.” He watched her. She stared back at him, unwavering in deep concentration. “And when you’re atop Chief, a champion horse belonging to your long lost lover, how can you help but not be distracted?”

  She thought about it, her eyes mesmerized by his and the words he’d just spoken. “You’re right.”

  “Melissa, I want to see you ride Chief through that finish line, believe me, I do. But you and I need to resolve this horrible mess that an insane woman has created between us. I want to kill her for what she has done to us.” He was steadily watching her reaction. “I’m glad you’ve agreed to listen to me because I want everything out in the open between us. I’m going to tell you the truth, Melissa. It will be up to you to decide whether to believe it. I hope by now you’ve known me long enough to know that I’m as honest a man as they come. I will not lie to you,” he told her as he displayed genuine sincerity.

  She smiled before responding. She missed him, everything about him. “I know you won’t John and I’m anxious to hear the truth.”

  He returned her smile with his own melting one. “Thank you.” As abruptly his smile began to diminish while seeing the natural blush in her cheeks paling before his eyes, and her smile turned into a frown. “Melissa, are you feeling well?” he asked, worried.

  She hadn’t wanted him to witness her anguish. She had tried really hard to hide her state but her stomach wouldn’t cooperate. The rolling motion in her belly began once again as she tried to respond. Her hand clutched at her upset stomach without her realizing it until she saw John’s eyes focus on that spot. She tried diverting his attention. “I’ve become famished all of a sudden.” A pasted-on smile would have to do the trick. “I just need to eat something.”

  “Has it been awhile since you’ve eaten? You seem like you’re in pain?”

  The concern in his eyes placed guilt upon her for she wasn’t being completely honest with him. The more time passed the worse she was feeling, which only confirmed that she and John had created a child. Again memories of his reaction to Vanessa and their child plundered in, reminding her to investigate the truth first before making her situation known to him. “I’m, yes, apparently so. At least that’s what my body would have me believe.”

  John thought her last statement odd but brushed it aside when all of a sudden Melissa began stumbling like she was dizzy. He helped her to the nearest bench and she sat. “Are you sure you’re all right?” When she didn’t answer he became firm. “Melissa, what is wrong?”

  Oh dear, this was first time she’d become dizzy like that. She needed something to settle her stomach and fast. “Food. I just need something to eat, John, then it will be better.” When he didn’t look convinced, she pressed on. “It must be my emotional state at seeing you again. It hasn’t been easy for me.” At least that wasn’t far from the truth.

  “I understand. Stay right here and I will get you something to eat.” After she nodded in approval John left in a swift motion to get some food.

  After she ate she seemed to feel better and John verified that she could go on. On the way they said their goodbyes to acquaintances that had stopped to converse with them before heading to John’s carriage. Jack was enjoying himself until John announced that he was not needed for the remainder of the evening. “Jack I’ll take Melissa back to her room tonight. We’re going to spend some time together, so if you’ll kindly excuse us.” John turned to open the carriage door for Melissa.

  Jack asked Melissa to verify. “Melissa, do you need my assistance this evening?”

  John became annoyed once again but let Melissa answer for herself, telling his driver his plans for their destination.

  Melissa assured Jack that John was accurate. “No Jack, I’ll be fine. Lord Blackburn is a very close friend of mine. He’ll see that I return to the hotel safely.” Her hand went to his arm, reassuring him. “Do something for yourself. Surely there’s some activity you’d enjoy doing.”

  He was keenly aware of John’s continued glare out of the corner of his eye so he conceded. “Yes, I’ll go catch a card game. I’ll see you in the morning then.” Flaunting an infinite smile, he left.

  They stopped by a nearby pond surrounded by shade trees. They stayed in the carriage for privacy while Jess, John’s driver, sat by the pond reading a book.

  For a flare of a second while sitting across from John, Melissa watched him and thought about the chance that she was carrying his child. It would be a handsome child she imagined, looking over the potential father while he took off his coat and loosened the collar of his shirt. John caught her gaze and returned a look of significance.

  She didn’t say a word but just watched and waited. This was the moment of truth. John cleared his throat, keeping his gaze steady. “First, I want to apologize on Vanessa’s behalf for her obscenely rude behavior toward you.”

  “John, you don’t need . . .”

  John interrupted her. “Melissa, please. I understand, but I feel it’s necessary. Please let me finish.”

  She nodded in agreement.

  He took a calming breath. “I never did find out what she had said to you but regardless, her actions were uncalled for. I remember telling you that she was a past lover of mine.” He stopped to find that her reaction hadn’t changed. “I had not seen her for quite some time and the last couple of times I had, her behavior seemed suspicious. I thought by not associating with her anymore that my problem would be solved,” he chuckled. “How wrong I was,” he said with a shake of his head. “It started with confronting you that day and then trying to trap me.” His features turned solemn. “As you know I will not marry a woman I do not love, and I certainly do not love Vanessa.”

  Yes, John, but do you love m
e? Melissa cried in silence.

  “I thought about your reactions later and realized that marrying Vanessa hadn’t bothered you so much as the mention of the child had. I can only imagine that at the time you assumed the child to be mine.” He saw in her eyes that his assumption had been confirmed. “It’s not,” he clarified.

  The child is not his? “You’re sure?” she asked, because that would explain his reaction toward the child.

  “One hundred percent. Vanessa will attest to that.” Softness claimed his stressful features. “I never, ever went without protection with her, or for that matter, with any other woman except you.”

  “Only me?” Melissa asked, dumbfounded.

  “Yes.” His hand posed the familiar gliding motion across the top of his velvety black head, smoothing stray hairs. “I have to admit it’s the last thing on my mind when I make love to you.” John’s hand dropped to his side by sheer determination as the urge to touch her became immense.

  Those honeyed cheeks of hers reddened. He hadn’t witnessed her shyness since before their first intimate encounter.

  “I understand the distraction,” she said, quite aware her cheeks showed color if the heat burning them was any indication.

  “Yes but that doesn’t excuse my behavior.” He grinned before becoming serious again. “To finish my explanation, I couldn’t figure out why Vanessa had asked me to marry her. I didn’t know if you knew that, but she did.” Melissa nodded in conformation that she did. “Well I tried to find out the reason why but she wouldn’t tell me, at least not until a couple of nights ago when I confronted her about it again.”

  “Who is the father then?” Melissa inquired, more anxious to hear about that than Vanessa’s marriage proposal.

  “I’m quite embarrassed to say, but I’m also so angry with Vanessa that if I didn’t have some kind of human decency I would kill her. That’s between you and me.”

  “Of course.” Melissa didn’t want to seem impatient, which was not an easy task for her. “But who is the father, John?”

  “This also remains between you and me.”

  “Of course.”

  “It’s my father, Melissa.”

  “What? I could have sworn you just said your father?”

  “That’s what I said. There’s something evil about Vanessa, for she planned the whole thing.”

  “You’re jesting.” Melissa gasped in horrid realization.

  “No, I wish I were, and now I must figure out a way to save my heartless father from scandal and financial ruin when she tries to trap him into marriage.”

  “What she’s done to us is bad enough, but your father?”

  “It’s retaliation against me,” he said. Their gazes held, allowing John to witness the astonishment that he himself must have shown in front of Vanessa. “Do you believe me, then?”

  “As farfetched as her actions are, yes, I believe you, and I want to apologize for my behavior. I wasn’t myself. I didn’t let you explain and I feel awful about that.” When she saw John start to shake his head, a short burst of anger toward Vanessa burst free. “She shouldn’t be putting you or your family through this, John. She’s vicious and deceitful and . . .”

  His hand came up to halt her. “Or you. I see now how it would look to you. I’m so sorry Melissa for this whole misunderstanding that has kept us apart.”

  “I believe you,” she reassured because he looked so hurt.

  “Forgive me Melissa for saying those things I didn’t mean. I felt so lost, so confused by your reactions that I lashed out.”

  She wanted to grab him from across the carriage and hold him tight, wanted to comfort him and let him know that she still cared, still wanted him, and still loved him. “John, now that I’ve listened to the truth I understand. We were victims of a manipulative plan to destroy us, but we’re stronger than that. We’re a team and being involved in racing horses we have a strong connection to each other.”

  John concentrated on what she didn’t say, disappointed that she didn’t finish speaking the truth. She’d said too much not to know what she would have said. Because the moment was tender, any more pressure on her might backfire, which was obvious when she changed her tactic, so he kept his feelings to himself, letting her decide when the time was right.

  Melissa held out her hand to shake. “Friends still?”

  He hesitated, realizing how right he’d been in assuming that she needed more time and less force. Reluctantly he took her hand in his and shook it. He smiled, knowing they were more than friends and how ridiculous it seemed to agree to just that. “Friends still,” he said squeezing her hand, adding, “Although, I desire more,” just to make her aware of his intentions.

  The nervous glance of their eyes held. “One step at a time, John,” she told him, thinking, you have to love me, John. You’ve got to tell me so first. I can’t be hurt again, especially by you.

  At least she hadn’t rejected the idea. “Good. Now, about this Jack character.”

  “John I explained earlier, he’s my driver.”

  “Melissa I want you to think about moving out of that hotel room. You can stay with me in mine.” He didn’t trust Jack’s intentions.

  Melissa liked the idea but it was much too soon. She needed more time. If she stayed with John it would be less than half an hour before he’d have her in bed with him. Not yet, she told herself. “John you’re worrying too much. I appreciate the offer but really, I’m only staying one more night and then I’ll be on my way home,” she informed him, sounding very sure of her plans.

  John wanted to kick himself for moving too fast but he needed to get rid of Jack. He would leave when she did and take her home and then Jack could go on his merry way alone. “Perhaps, but if you leave in another day you’ll be leaving with Jack. Why don’t you stay and I’ll take you home? And I think I should stay in your room with you just to make sure Jack stays in line.” Pausing, he saw that “I know what you’re up to” look on her precious face. “Well, you won’t stay in mine.” Pausing again, he assured her, “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

  Melissa began laughing, startling John for a second, and then his lips curved into a smile while she spoke with true confidence. “Sleep on the floor?” she said to John with a broadening grin, her brows rising as she proceeded. “John, you wouldn’t last half an hour and I’d find you in my bed,” she told him, her white teeth glowing.

  He responded to her remarks by telling her how it would really be. He inclined forward, “Let’s be serious now, sweetheart. Wouldn’t it be more like me finding you on the floor next me?” Leaning even closer to her, his face only inches away, he carried on, “Gripping that part of my body right below my belly.”

  Her face flushed and turned bright red. She interrupted him before he could continue. “Stop it, John. That’s enough.” Leaning back against the soft leather seat to distance herself, she counteracted his lustful words, “I don’t want to hear anymore. You’re not fair, talking like that.” She caught his satisfied grin before averting her eyes. She wasn’t smiling anymore.

  He reclined back as well to give her room to breathe for she seemed to be gasping for air. The smile John gave her was out of the satisfaction that he’d affected her and not in a friendship sort of way. “Will you have supper with me?” he asked, hoping to rectify her mood. “I know a nice restaurant we could try?”

  A smile crept upon her lips. “I don’t give you enough credit, Lord Blackburn. Your approach makes it hard to resist.”

  “Does that mean yes then?” he asked in that lusty, husky voice of his.

  “Yes.” How could she refuse?

  John was pleased with the results he had attained. Supper was an opportunity to be one step closer to her. Seeing the steaming desire for him in her hazel eyes a moment ago combined with her blushing cheeks was pure torture for him. He became aroused as a result of teasing her when in the process he was being teased as well. Now is not the time he told himself, hoping he would be back to normal before ent
ering the restaurant.

  Supper resulted in pleasant conversation and delicious food, although at times the mood was a bit strained due to the history of intimacy between them, and the lack of touching seemed to initiate a battle of inner struggles for both.

  Melissa craved his love and affection but swore to herself she would not give in until confirming the reality of his feelings for her.

  John wanted to devour her, to imprison her within his embrace to ensure he hadn’t lost her, but he kept his distance to avoid scaring her off.

  Both were polite and agreeable but beneath their cool and easy exteriors sparks were flaring, their desires for physical contact burning with a heat so hot it left them both flustered.

  After supper John walked Melissa to her hotel. On the way Melissa gave infinite details about her visit with her cousins and how much she had enjoyed herself, leaving out any notion at all of her possibly being pregnant.

  They weren’t far from her hotel so in a short amount of time they were approaching the stairway to her room. Climbing the stairs, her focus moved to his strong, handsome profile, lingering on the lips that she yearned for. He turned to catch her looking at him and she quickly faced forward to avoid his seductive gaze that mirrored back.

  Reaching her door, awkwardness set in for both. They stood before each other, not touching but very close. John’s gaze shifted downward and he noticed Melissa’s intertwined fingers tightening, proving she was just as uneasy. John took the liberty of placing his large hands around her folded ones.

  She looked down at their clasped hands. She felt jittery and her body began to tremble. Her gaze was broken when John spoke.

  “Melissa, I had a nice time tonight. I’d like to do it again.”

  After skimming his handsome features her eyes found his, catching in his glistening heated trap. “It was very nice John. I would like to do it again, too,” she responded in a sighing plea.

  Their eyes steadied as passion was growing anew between them. John directly conveyed what they both wanted. “Melissa, I want to kiss you? May I?”