Build

by Gillian Archer

  “You don’t have to do that. You can take Rachel’s bed. She wouldn’t mind.”

  He gave me a sad smile. “Thanks, but it wouldn’t feel right. If you have a spare pillow, I wouldn’t turn it down.”

  “I can do that. I uh, I don’t know what you told Wyatt. Does he know?”

  Austin shook his head. “I couldn’t—I didn’t know what to tell him. So, I lied and said that his mom was working late, and that you had a doctor’s appointment. I felt bad for lying, but I didn’t think it was my place to tell him what’d happened. Once he met Blue, I think Rachel and you were the last things on his mind. Those two fell in love so fast.”

  “Sounds like someone else I know,” I murmured to myself.

  “What was that?”

  I cleared my throat. “Sorry, I’m mumbling. I’m tired. I said, sounds like he had a good afternoon.”

  “He did. I tried to give him one anyway. He passed out about twenty minutes ago midway through the second story. He’s a pretty damn cute kid.” Austin smiled, his eyes distant.

  And my heart melted.

  Why was my daughter so damn stubborn? She deserved to have Austin in her life. And so did Wyatt.

  “I’ll get that pillow for you,” I said before wheeling myself down the hall.

  “Do you need any help with anything tonight?” Austin asked as he accepted a pillow from me.

  “No. Thank you for everything you did today.”

  “I’m just glad I could be there for her one more time.” A bleak expression stole over his face then he turned away. “Good night, Trish.”

  “Night, Austin.”

  26

  Rachel

  I woke up with a start. It took me a few panicked seconds to figure out where I was. But between the loud beeping, the antiseptic smell, and floral sheets, I put it together. Hospital. I was in a hospital bed.

  But oddly I had no pain. Instead I felt kinda floaty. Hazy.

  Oh God, was that how Mom felt when she woke up after her accident? Could I even feel my feet? I blinked at the bottom of the bed and cautiously wiggled my toes. They moved. I wasn’t paralyzed. I flexed my hands. They moved too. I sighed in relief. It couldn’t have been that bad then.

  Wyatt! Where was my son? How long had I been here?

  I turned my head and saw my mom in her wheelchair, watching a gameshow on the TV. “Mom? Where’s Wyatt?”

  Mom turned her head to me and smiled. “Hey honey. How are you feeling?”

  “I don’t know. Where’s Wyatt?” My eyelids felt so heavy.

  “He’s home. I got someone to watch him—take him to school and keep him occupied, so I could be here with you.”

  “That’s good. I’m glad.” I murmured as I closed my heavy eyes. “What happened?”

  “You were in a car accident. A drunk driver hit you. You had surgery to repair some internal bleeding but you’re going to be okay.”

  I fought against the sleep tugging at me. There was something I needed to know. Something that was important. What was it again? I couldn’t remember anything.

  “Mom? Where’s Wyatt?”

  Mom laughed softly then murmured, “She’s really out of it, huh?”

  Before I could ask who she was talking to, I surrendered to the darkness enveloping me.

  *

  The next day, or two, everything had blurred together I couldn’t even tell what day of the week it was—I was sitting up and trying to ignore the ache afflicting my entire body. I don’t think there was a single part of me that didn’t hurt—my head, the places where my seat belt had bit into me, my back where the surgeons had cut into me. I was a walking, throbbing pain. Not that I was walking. Ugh. Instead I was sitting in my hospital bed, attempting to eat the “food” on the tray in front of me. Honestly none of it looked appetizing, but that was probably more of a comment on my churning stomach than the grey blobs on the tray. But I knew if I wanted to get out of here, I had to eat.

  “They tried to get me to eat that slop for a solid week when I was in here. It was vile.”

  “Thank you, Mom. That’s so helpful.”

  “We should get Wendy to bring you something from her diner. I bet that would perk you up.”

  I froze with my spoon suspended a few inches from my face. “Austin’s Aunt Wendy?”

  “Uh huh.” My mom bent over her phone, her fingers flying across the screen.

  “How do you know Wendy?” I set the spoon down, unable to concentrate on more than one thing with my fuzzy head.

  “Oh, she came here the day of the accident. His whole family was in the waiting room with me. That Austin is so thoughtful.”

  “Thoughtful? Wait, his whole family was here?”

  “Yes, I called and asked him to pick up Wyatt from preschool—which he did—but he also sent his family over to wait with me. I met Wendy, Sabrina, Dylan, and Nathan. And the other brother stopped by later…Ryan I think? Such a wonderful family.”

  My head was spinning, and it had nothing to do with my accident or the drugs they had me on. “Why would you call Austin to pick up Wyatt?”

  “No one else was available, and I wanted to be here with you. Hospital waiting rooms are no place for children, especially one Wyatt’s age. And Austin was happy to help.”

  “Happy to help,” I repeated to myself as the anger roiled within me. “Mom, I broke up with him. You can’t be calling a man to bail us out of our troubles. You’ve done that plenty of times in your lifetime already,” I muttered under my breath.

  “I heard that.”

  I pushed my lunch tray away then carefully eased back onto my back on the bed. “What? It’s true, isn’t it?”

  My mom’s eyes narrowed then she shook her head like she was disappointed in me. “I’m not letting you change the subject. We were talking about Austin.”

  I gingerly crossed my arms over my chest and looked away.

  “Haven’t you punished him enough, Rachel? He missed one afternoon date. One. I think he’s thoroughly proven this week that he cares about you, that he only wants the best for you and Wyatt.”

  “Because he watched Wyatt once? What a commitment,” I snarked sullenly.

  “He picked Wyatt up from preschool, bought a car seat for him, and watched him all day yesterday and today. And he also sent his family here to wait with me. You know, while I waited anxiously to hear if you were still alive? They are wonderful people, Rachel—Austin most of all. And if you don’t make it right with him, you will regret it your entire life.”

  “Can we talk about this later?” I closed my eyes to escape my mom’s lecture. “I’m tired.”

  “You can run all you want, but if you’re not careful, that man will move on, and you’ll be all alone. Again. Take it from me, there are more important things in life than your pride, honey. Regrets weigh heavy.”

  Before I could ask my mom what she regretted a nurse interrupted us to take my vitals, and the moment was gone.

  *

  “Wyatt!” My abs contracted so I could sit up, but a wave of agonizing pain had me moaning and collapsing back into bed. My bed. What the…?

  Oh right.

  I’d been dreaming that Wyatt’s dad had picked Wyatt up from school and had disappeared again, only this time with my son. But that was a dream. Jordan never showed up anywhere, least of all for our son.

  “Rachel? Are you okay?” The night nurse asked, as she wrote my vitals down on a chart.

  I blinked against the light. Her coming in must’ve woke me up.

  “It hurts,” I groaned, gesturing to the surgical incision.

  “I’ll get you something for the pain. Other than that, how are you feeling?”

  “Fine, I guess.” I was tired, sore, and out of sorts from my nightmare. Not to mention the guilt trip my mom laid on me the entire day before she finally left last night. Mom was Team Austin and had no problem letting me know how wrong I was. And then Wendy and Sabrina had stopped by. Neither had mentioned Austin but he was the elephant in
the room. He was the reason I knew both women and the reason both were visiting me. And yet his name didn’t come up once during their short visit.

  I didn’t know how to feel about the situation. I knew I owed him for stepping up in a way that no one had really asked him too. But I couldn’t forget the way he’d dropped me and my son when he went AWOL. He hadn’t even bothered to call or text me. Could I let myself depend on someone like that? Was I willing to trust Wyatt’s heart with a man like that?

  “You sure everything’s all right?” The nurse, Cynthia I think her name was, asked with a frown.

  I laughed sardonically. “How much time do you have?”

  “Well, my shift doesn’t end for three more hours, and you’re my last patient to check on for a while. What’s on your mind?”

  “Nothing. It’s okay.” In addition to Austin, there were my worries about my jobs—would I still have one, let alone both?—making rent at my craptastic apartment, and the mountainous medical bills my shitty insurance wouldn’t cover. But I didn’t want to think about any of that. All I could think about was him. Could I trust him again? Could I let Wyatt get close to him? Would he break my son’s heart? Why did life have to be so hard?

  “You know if you keep burying your feelings, eventually you’re gonna start walking on them. Wait, that’s not right. What was my grandma’s saying again?” Cynthia paused for a second then waved her hand. “I can’t remember. Anyhow, it’s not healthy. So what’s going on?”

  “Nothing really. Nothing worth bothering you with anyways.”

  “What’s his name?”

  “Huh? I’m sorry?” I immediately winced. Austin and sorry. Ugh.

  “Only a man could tie you up in knots like that. What’s his name?”

  Was I really so transparent? I thought I’d developed a tougher façade than that. And then I remembered how loud my mom got when she was passionate about something, and today she was really passionate about my relationship with Austin.

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “How much of my mom’s ranting did you hear before she left tonight.”

  “Enough to know she wants you to get back together with what’s-his-name. I’m sorry, I know it’s none of my business, but if you wanted to talk about him—the situation, whatever—I’m here. And if you want me to mind my own business and leave you alone, I can be at the nurses’ station in a jiffy.”

  I had to laugh at that. Cynthia had a way about her that made me want to confide in her. Like she was already a friend or something. “Austin. His name is Austin.”

  “Austin. Sounds sexy.” Cynthia sat down in the chair next to my bed and crossed her heels. “Now what did Austin do that was so unforgiveable?”

  “He uh, he stood me and my son up for a movie date.” I groaned, my head fell back against my pillow. “It sounds kinda ridiculous when I say it out loud, but if you understood mine and his history it’d make more sense.”

  Cynthia lifted a shoulder. “Then tell me.”

  And I did. For the next few minutes it all spilled out—how I met Austin when he was running away from his family, our time in Tahoe and later back home, how I was falling for him, and then his disappearing act again that had let down Wyatt. My history with unreliable men. “And that’s it.”

  “I get it. When it comes to your kid, you gotta put them first.”

  “I know it was just a movie, but next time it might be an important soccer match or heaven forbid—a surgery. I don’t want to have someone in my life that I can’t count on. I’ve had more than enough of them.”

  “Sounds easy to me. Trust your gut. You gotta watch out for you and your son. If Austin isn’t trustworthy, don’t let someone talk you into giving him another chance. Stand strong and keep him out of your life.”

  “I would. Only…”

  “Only, what? Is there something you haven’t told me?”

  I closed my eyes with a sigh then opened them to meet Cynthia’s attentive gaze. “He kinda has been showing up all week since my accident.”

  “He has?” Cynthia frowned. “I don’t remember seeing his name on the check-in sheet.”

  “He hasn’t been showing up here. He’s been there for my mom and son. He picked up Wyatt from preschool, bought a car seat so he can drive him around town, arranged for his family to visit with my mom, arranged someone to take her to and from the hospital since she can’t drive, and he’s watched Wyatt every day that I’ve been here. He’s done nothing but show up for my family this week.”

  “And he hasn’t come to visit you?”

  “I might’ve previously made it clear to him that I didn’t want to see him again.”

  Cynthia’s eyes shone with emotion. “That might be the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard of.”

  I sighed. “I know.”

  “So, what are you going to do?”

  I sighed and picked at the blanket covering. “That’s what I gotta figure out.”

  *

  My mom wasn’t one to ever let something go. The next day, Austin’s aunt Wendy showed up with food from her diner, and the Austin love fest resumed.

  “You did such an amazing job with those boys, Wendy. You must be so proud of all they’ve done.” My mom beamed from her seat at the tiny table on the other side of the room. Three containers of food covered the table in front of her.

  It all smelled so amazing, but my stomach wasn’t up for the challenge at the moment. I was struggling to keep my applesauce and soup from lunch down.

  Wendy smiled. “They’re pretty special. But I could tell you stories that would make you want to keep your daughter as far away from those boys as possible. They were pretty wild growing up.” She stopped and tilted her head. “And as adults.”

  “Oh, I bet. I can’t even imagine raising five children, especially four boys. How they’ve turned out and what they’ve accomplished is really a credit to you.”

  I closed my eyes and tried like hell not to be offended. I worked my ass off at two menial jobs to keep a very crappy roof over our heads. What did that say about my mom? I sighed and tried to get comfortable. Let it go. Just let it go.

  My poker face must’ve been MIA because Wendy tossed me an understanding smile. “I laugh it off, but I had to sacrifice a lot to raise my family. My boyfriend wasn’t interested in taking in four young boys, and I’d just had Sabrina, so I was new to the whole taking care of tiny humans thing. I mean I’d watched my sister do it, but it’s so not the same when it’s you all alone. I spread myself so thin with two jobs and school activities for the boys… Looking back I can’t tell one day from the rest. It’s just a long jumble of lack of sleep and stress and heartache.”

  I laughed. “That sounds familiar.”

  “Especially the lowlife partner bit,” My mom tossed in. “I’ve had more than my share of those.”

  I nodded.

  Wendy turned to me and took a deep breath. “I know it’s not my place, but can I just say one thing about Austin?”

  “You can try,” my mom muttered.

  “Mom, really?” I shook my head. “It’s not easy, okay? I have to think of more than just what I want. I have to think about Wyatt and what’s best for him.”

  “Because Austin hasn’t shown you his best this week?” My mom retorted. “He has taken care of Wyatt without a single complaint. He has shown up day after day and you’re still punishing him over something that happened weeks ago.”

  “I am so sorry that my getting hit by a drunk driver inconvenienced you all so much.” Tears burned my eyes, but I was determined not to let them fall.

  “If I could butt in…” Wendy smiled awkwardly.

  “Sure. Why not? I’d love to hear more from the Austin is Awesome Brigade.”

  “Rachel,” Mom hissed.

  “No, it’s all right,” Wendy replied. “And for the record I—more than anyone—am aware of Austin’s short comings. But that last time he ran off was a little different. He uh, he had just found out that Dylan had testified on their father’s
behalf at his last parole hearing.”

  “He did?” I whispered.

  Wendy nodded. “I guess he and Dylan got into it at their father’s lawyer’s office. It got pretty ugly. Things were said…”

  “But why would Dylan…?” I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I’d met Dylan a few times at the shop. He seemed like a nice guy. Why would he defend the man who’d murdered their mother?

  “I don’t know. I have a hard time with it too. Janet was not only my sister, she was my best friend. I don’t…I can’t…” Wendy took a shaky breath and wiped at her eyes. “Anyways, I know it was screwed up of Austin to disappear like that, but there were crazy extenuating circumstances.”

  “I’m so sorry.” I shifted to get out of bed then winced when my stitches pulled.

  “No, please. Stay in bed.” Wendy waved a hand. “I’m fine really.”

  Mom reached over and held Wendy’s hand then turned to me. “I know he disappointed you, but don’t you think you can forgive him?

  “I didn’t break up with him over a simple misunderstanding. What Dylan did was horrible for your family, but Austin doesn’t show up. That’s how we met! He found out about his father’s parole and he bailed. That’s what he does. How can I ever trust someone like that with my son? I just—I don’t…” I shrugged as I trailed off, frustrated.

  “But hasn’t he done enough to make up for it?” My mom shook her head. “I know he disappeared that day, but he has shown up over and over again while you’ve been in here. Every night he sleeps on that lumpy, tired sofa because he doesn’t want to leave Wyatt. Does that sound like someone who’s not one hundred percent in? When will it ever be enough to make you trust him again?”

  “I don’t know what to say, Mom. It’s just…hard. There’s a part of me that’s afraid to trust him again.”

  “Love is scary, honey. Trusting someone with your heart, with your child’s heart, is the most terrifying thing in this world. But you have to decide if it’s worth it. If Austin is worth it.”