Can't Let You Go: A Wheeler Brothers Novel

by Allie Everhart

  "Okay, that's weird," Callie says, then shakes her head really fast. "Not in a bad way. I'm just not used to seeing you two kiss. I'm sorry. It's not weird. I shouldn't have said that."

  Nash kisses her. "Don't worry about it. Just finish up lunch so we can get out of here and leave the lovebirds alone."

  "See?" I say to Nash. "That's why I didn't want to tell anyone. Callie thinks it weird and you're making dumbass comments."

  Nash smiles. "I won't do it again. Come on, let's leave the ladies alone to talk about us."

  The four of us have lunch, then Nash and Callie leave, and as expected, Jen and I have sex. What can I say? We've wanted to do this for years and now that we finally are, we can't stop. But we agree to take a break and go to a movie.

  It's the matinee so there's hardly anyone there. We sit in the back and hold hands and end up kissing and not watching the movie. When we get out of the theater, Jen turns her phone on and sees that her mom called. She immediately tenses up, assuming something's wrong. When it comes to Rita, that's always the assumption. She never calls just to say hello.

  Jen calls her back when we're in my truck. "Hey, Mom. What's up?" She listens, biting her lip, her face tensing up. "I know. I forgot. Bryce and I were at the movies and I wasn't even thinking about it. We'll go there right now and bring them over." She listens again, then nods. "Okay, bye."

  I sigh heavily. "What now?"

  "I forgot to get her groceries. I was supposed to bring them over this afternoon. We have to go get them. Let's go to the store by her house."

  "So we have to stop what we're doing and go get her groceries? Fuck that. She's a grown woman and she has a car. She can drive down the street and get her own damn groceries."

  "She said she's out of money."

  I clench the steering wheel, trying to control my anger. "Then we'll give her the damn money and she can go herself."

  "If we do that, you know she won't buy food. She'll spend the money on cigarettes. She needs to eat, Bryce. She's skin and bones." She puts her hand over mine. "Please? Will you just do this for me?"

  "Last time, Jen. This is the last time you're buying her groceries."

  "Bryce, I can't promise you that. I can't let her go hungry."

  "My God, Jen. Your mom is not going to go hungry. If she's that poor, which I know she's not, but if she were, she could get a job. And if she didn't want to work, she could stop going to the salon to get her hair bleached, and stop getting her nails done, and stop going to the tanning salon. She could buy a lot of food for how much all that costs." I've said this to Jen so many times I feel like a broken record, but I just keep saying it, hoping someday she'll listen.

  "I'll have a talk with her, okay?"

  "How did she buy food when you were a kid?" I ask, not ready to let this go.

  "I don't know. She probably asked some guy for money."

  "And did he do her grocery shopping?"

  "Bryce, come on. I don't want to fight about this."

  "As long as Rita's in our lives, we'll always be fighting about this."

  "What are you saying? You want me to cut her out of my life? That's not going to happen, Bryce. I've told you that a million times. She's all I have for family."

  "You have my family. And how do you know you don't have other family? Maybe you do and Rita's just never told you about them."

  "Her parents died when I was a kid. And she has a brother but they haven't talked in years."

  "So you have an uncle and probably some cousins. Maybe you should meet this uncle and see if he has any ideas for how to deal with your mom."

  "I've never met him. I don't even know where he lives and I'm not going to try to find him."

  "How about your dad? Why has she never told you anything about him?"

  "Because she doesn't know who it is. She slept with a lot of guys back then. It could've been any one of them."

  We're now at the grocery store and I pull into a spot. "Are we really doing this? Grocery shopping for a grown woman who's perfectly capable of doing it herself?"

  She opens her door. "Just wait here. It won't take me long."

  "I'm not waiting here." I get out of the truck and catch up with her and take her hand, stopping her. "Jen, I'm sorry, okay? I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at your mom."

  "I know, but we can't keep doing this. You have to learn to get along with her. And you have to understand that she'll never change."

  "Let's just get the groceries." I keep hold of her hand and we go in the store.

  I'm not going to argue with her about this in the parking lot. I don't want to argue with her at all but it's what we do whenever the topic of her mom comes up. If Jen and I really did end up together, her mom would always be an issue, which worries me.

  When we get to her mom's house, Mark is there, wearing a dingy white t-shirt that looks like it hasn't been washed in a year.

  "Did you get everything on the list?" Rita asks Jen.

  "Yeah, but Mom, I'm not going to keep—"

  "This doesn't look like everything," she says, as she pulls stuff out of the bag.

  "The rest is in the truck." I look at Mark. "You gonna help?"

  "Nah." He smirks. "You go ahead. I'll stay in here with the ladies." He winks at Jen and I almost punch him. I seriously hate this guy. He's one of those people who goes out of his way to cause trouble, just like Rita. It's no wonder those two hooked up.

  I bring the rest of the grocery bags in and drop them on the kitchen counter. Then I go over to Jen, taking her hand. "Come on, let's go."

  "She's not leaving," Rita snaps. "She just got here. She needs to stay and visit with her mama." She comes over and kisses Jen on the cheek. "Isn't that right, sweetie?"

  "I can't right now. Bryce and I need to go."

  "What's the rush?" Mark asks, standing next to Rita and lighting up a cigarette.

  "Jen can't breathe with the smoke," I say, glaring at Mark.

  "She can breathe just fine." Mark puffs on his cigarette. "She's just faking it so she has an excuse not to stay here and talk to her mama. You need to show some respect, little lady."

  Little lady? He talks like an old man and yet he's only a few years older than me. And respect? Seriously? He doesn't even know the meaning of the word.

  "Come on, Jen," Rita says. "Just stay for a few minutes."

  "Only if he puts his cigarette out," I say, nodding at Mark.

  "Bryce, it's okay," Jen says quietly to me. "We won't be staying long."

  "Now that's more like it," Mark says to her. "Your mama's house, your mama's rules. You remember that, sugar. And be sure to teach it to your little boyfriend." He puts his eyes on me and smirks, and it takes everything in me not to punch the guy.

  Just a few minutes. Then we can get out of here. But I don't know if I can stand being here for even a few minutes. It's bad enough coming here when it's just Rita, but now we have to deal with Mark.

  "What's this?" Rita asks, pointing at Jen's hand in mine. "You two are dating?"

  Jen holds my hand tighter. "Yeah. We are."

  She laughs. "Well, well. When did this happen?"

  "Just the other day," Jen says.

  "Is that so?" She smiles at us as she steals Mark's cigarette from him, takes a puff, then hands it back. "So should I start planning the wedding?"

  "We're just dating, Mom."

  Rita glances at me, then back at Jen. "Guess this means you're not leaving Chicago."

  "Probably not," she says, and I swear I heard a hint of sadness in her voice. Was I just imagining it? Or is Jen sad about the idea of staying here? What if she really does want to leave to get away from her mom? She says she doesn't, but I think if she got a job somewhere else, she'd be secretly happy about it. It's the only way she'll ever escape the hold her mom has on her.

  "I knew you'd never leave," Rita says. "You love your mama too much, don't you sweetie?" She reaches out and moves a strand of hair off Jen's face. "Jen, honey, you really need to lighten your ha
ir. You'd look so much prettier with a lighter color. It'll brighten up your face. Let's go to the salon together this week."

  "She doesn't want it lighter," I say, gritting my teeth.

  Rita narrows her eyes at me. "Are you speaking for my daughter now? You think you own her just because you're dating her?"

  "Mom, stop," Jen says, her voice rushed. She's stressed. We've only been here a couple minutes and Jen's already stressed. "Bryce only said that because he knows I like my hair the way it is. I don't want it lighter."

  "I'd like to see it lighter," Mark says, smiling in a sick, perverted way as his eyes move over her body, landing on her breasts. "You got quite a body on you, sweetheart."

  I step in front of Jen. "Don't fucking talk to her that way. And don't you dare look at her like that again."

  "Bryce, let's just go." She tugs on my jacket.

  "She's not allowed to get compliments?" Mark asks. "Rita, I think this boy needs to be taught a lesson. He definitely needs to learn how to respect his elders."

  "You're not my fucking elder," I say, keeping my eyes on him. 'We're practically the same age. And there's no way in hell I'd ever respect you."

  He snuffs out his cigarette in the ashtray that's on the counter. "I think it's time you leave, boy." He peers around me to Jen. "But leave your little girlfriend behind." He gets that sick grin again. "I'd like to get to know her better."

  Before I can even think, I lurch forward and punch him.

  "Bryce!" Jen yells. "No!"

  Mark is on the ground, his hand covering his bloody nose. "What the fuck?"

  "Bryce, you get out of here right now!" Rita pushes on my chest but I remain where I am, looking down at Mark.

  "You even think about Jen like that ever again and I'll be back to finish the job." I take Jen's hand and grab her coat off the chair and start walking to the door.

  "Bryce, wait," Jen says. "I can't keep up."

  "I have to get out of here," I say, my blood pumping hard. I'm so pissed right now. I want to go beat that guy unconscious.

  We get in the truck and I peel out of the driveway, wanting to get the hell away from that place as fast as possible.

  "Bryce, slow down," Jen says. "The roads are wet. We could get in an accident. And put your seatbelt on."

  I slow down a little and yank my seatbelt over my body. Jen takes it from me and clicks it in place.

  "I'm sorry about that," she says. "I didn't know he'd be there."

  "Jen, this is what I keep trying to tell you. Your mom is trouble and so are the people she hangs out with. You've gotta get some distance from her, and stop going over there."

  "She didn't do anything. It was Mark. He's the one causing trouble."

  "And your mom didn't do anything about it. That guy was basically saying he wanted to fuck you, and your mom just stood there, not saying anything."

  "My mom is used to guys talking that way. She didn't think anything of it."

  "She knows it's wrong. And talk about a lack of respect. That guy's supposed to be dating your mom but then he hits on you right in front of her."

  "She needs to dump him."

  "Yeah. But then she'll find another guy just like him."

  "I know," she says, closing her eyes. She does her anti-stress breathing and I reach over and hold her hand. She takes another deep breath, then opens her eyes again. "Are we going home?"

  "Yeah. Unless you want to go somewhere."

  "I'd rather go home. Get into bed." She smiles.

  I smile back. "Good idea."

  "I meant so we could play hockey."

  "Uh-huh. Sure you did." I squeeze her hand. "You okay?"

  She nods. "I think so."

  But I know she's not. I can feel it. She's still upset but trying to hide it. It usually takes a few hours for her to de-stress after being with her mom, or sometimes several days, depending on the mood Rita's in when Jen visits.

  Back at my apartment, I put our coats away, then take Jen to the couch to sit down. "Can you do something for me?"

  "What?" she asks.

  "Can you go this whole week without talking to your mom or going over there?"

  "I don't know. If I don't answer her calls, she'll keep calling or she'll show up here."

  "Then will you at least agree to not go over there? You're supposed to be relaxing this week, having fun. And going over there just now was neither one of those things."

  "I know." She nods. "Okay. I won't go over there."

  "Shit." I chuckle. "That was easy. As long as you're in an agreeable mood, what else should I ask for?" I pause. "How about quitting one of your jobs?"

  "No. I can't agree to that, although I'm probably fired from the restaurant so you might get your wish after all."

  "Have you heard from them?"

  "Not yet. Maybe I'll call Jerry tomorrow." She sighs. "But I dread doing it. I don't want to talk to him."

  "Then don't. Just take a week off from all the stuff that stresses you out and let's just...be together."

  She smiles. "That sounds really good."

  "Better than a spring break trip to Cancun?" I ask kiddingly.

  "Actually, yeah. It does." She kisses me. "I'd rather be here with you."

  I feel the same way about her. I'd take a week with Jen over anything else. And I'd like a lot more than a week. Now that we're together like this, all I want is to be with her. Not just for a few weeks, or a few months. But forever.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Jen

  It's Friday and I just got a message from my building manager saying the heat is fixed, but I'm not ready to go back there. I'd rather stay here with Bryce, and I think he wants that too.

  "What are you doing?" he asks, sitting next to me on the couch.

  "Looking for jobs." I click on my laptop.

  "See anything good?" He looks at my screen.

  "This one is for a job in Evanston. The pay is really bad but at least I'd get experience."

  "Would you like working there?"

  "Honestly? No. It's an insurance company, which I have no interest in. But I can't be picky."

  "Why not? Why pick a job you're going to hate?"

  "That's just how it is when you're starting out. You have to take whatever job you can find that will give you a paycheck and experience. The problem is, I'd have to work there for at least a year before going somewhere else so that I don't look like someone who can't keep a job."

  "So you'd have to work at a job you don't like for a year? Jen, it's not worth it. Just find something else. Don't even apply for that one. Is there anything else that looks good?"

  "There's a job working for a company that makes fitness equipment. It sounds like a great place to work. They have an onsite fitness center and they give employees free meals. It has a great benefit package and the job is just what I'm looking for. Entry level but you still get responsibility."

  "Did you apply?"

  "No. It's in San Francisco."

  "Jen, if it's a good job and you're excited about it, then you need to apply."

  So he's okay with me moving? I set my laptop down and prepare for the discussion we've both been avoiding. But then his phone rings.

  "Hey, Dad." Bryce nods. "Yeah, we're coming. We'll see you soon." He ends the call. "We need to get going. Everyone's already there."

  Tonight we're going to a Wheeler family dinner. We usually have them on Sundays, but we're having one tonight because Bryce's aunt and cousins are leaving tomorrow.

  "You ready for this?" Bryce asks as we're walking up to his dad's house.

  "Yeah. Why?"

  "It's going to be hard to pretend we're not dating."

  We still haven't told his family about us, and we didn't want to tonight with his aunt and cousins there. We'll wait for the next dinner, when it's just Bryce's dad and brothers.

  "I'll sit at the opposite end of the table," I say. "I won't even look at you."

  Bryce stops in front of the door. "Then this'll have to h
old me over until we get home." He puts his hands along the sides of my face and kisses me.

  "Shit, I knew it." I hear Austin's voice and turn to see him standing there holding the door open. He turns his head and yells into the house, "Bryce and Jen are dating!" Then he turns back and smiles at us. "I knew you guys couldn't live together all week without something happening."

  Bryce rolls his eyes. "We didn't want anyone to know. So thanks a lot for the announcement."

  "Anytime," Austin says, laughing. "Tell me when she's pregnant. I'll make sure everyone knows."

  "Jen's pregnant?" Jake appears behind Austin.

  "No!" Bryce says, pushing Austin aside so we can get in the door. "Don't listen to Austin. He's just making up shit."

  "So you two aren't dating?" Jake asks as Ivy walks in the room.

  I look at Bryce to answer. He smiles at me and pulls me into his side. "We're dating."

  "That's awesome!" Ivy says, running up and giving me a hug.

  Mitch walks in. "What's all the noise about?"

  "Bryce and Jen are dating," Jake says.

  "Good for you," Mitch says casually, but he's grinning from ear to ear.

  "About damn time," Nash says, appearing with Callie. "But now we're going to have to find something else to talk about."

  "Shit, you're right," Jake says. "What the hell are we going to talk about? We've been talking about Bryce and Jen for years."

  "Talk about Austin," Bryce says. "You can start nagging him about getting a girl."

  "I don't have time for a girl," he says. "I'm too busy with the band. Hey, are you guys coming tomorrow night?"

  "Yeah," Bryce says. "We'll be there."

  The last time Austin's band played, Bryce invited me to go with him to the bar but I wouldn't do it. It was too hard to be out with him like that, as if we were a couple when we really weren't. And from past experience, I knew that if I left him alone for two seconds, girls would come up to him and I'd have to pretend to be okay with it. And that would just remind me that Bryce dated other girls, which is something I tried not to think about. I'm sure he did the same when it came to me and other guys.

  Bryce's aunt and cousins walk in the room and we give the announcement again and get more congratulatory hugs. You'd think Bryce and I just announced our engagement the way everyone is reacting. But we're not even close to announcing that. In fact, on the way over here, I was thinking it's too soon to be asking Bryce about our future. We've dated for less than a week, and when we get back to our regular lives and don't see each other every day, things may change. A week from now, we could be broken up. That's why I've decided to go ahead and apply for that job in San Francisco, along with a couple other out-of-state jobs. I'm not saying I'd take them but I'd still like to apply and see if I could even get an interview. And if I did move, I could always move back here in a year or two. It wouldn't have to be permanent.