Gold

by K. A. Linde

  Eric looked disgusted. She shouldn’t care what he thought, but she did.

  “Jesus,” Eric said. “He was married with a kid, and you never knew? Shit! What a fucking asshole!”

  Bryna steeled herself for what she was about to say next. “Yeah, well, you were meeting with that asshole today.”

  Eric turned to stone. “What?”

  “His name is Jude Rose, and he’s the best sports agent in the industry. I’m guessing Blaine is signing with him, and that’s why he was on campus.”

  Eric’s mouth dropped open. “That asshole was Jude Rose?”

  “Yeah.” Bryna looked away, uncertain. “I didn’t know he was a sports agent either at the time. It was a whirl of lust and luxury. He seemed to get me, but he was really playing me.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said wholeheartedly. “I can’t believe that happened to you.”

  “I was a willing participant.”

  “You can’t be a willing participant to that level of deception. You were in high school, for Christ’s sake!”

  “I don’t let it rule me.” She tried for confidence. “I’m in control now. I know what I want, and he showed it to me in a rather explicit way.”

  “What do you mean? What is it that you want?”

  “What I told you all along. You didn’t believe me, but I want someone to take care of me like he did. I want all the luxury and none of the baggage.”

  “No offense, but you sound like a gold digger, which is absurd, considering who you are.”

  “There are worse things to be.” She shrugged. “And who am I anyway? Any money I have comes from my father, who is also forcing me to live with my pervy asshole stepbrother. I can’t live like this forever.”

  Eric’s eyes went wide. He didn’t like Pace. She knew that much, but there was something else in his eyes that she couldn’t place. Pity?

  “This guy really fucked you up, didn’t he?”

  Her silence was answer enough.

  “I’d kick his ass if I could,” he said.

  “Don’t bother. I could have buried him, but I didn’t. I wanted to come out of this on top.”

  “You were hurt in a relationship. I can understand that. You don’t have to put up this act for me.”

  Bryna shook her head. “It’s not an act, and I’m not hurt. I’m finally seeing things clearly.”

  “All right,” he said.

  But she knew he could never understand. How could he?

  Her phone buzzed noisily in her pocket, and she plucked it out. The text message was from a number she didn’t recognize, but it had an L.A. area code. She frowned. This felt eerily familiar.

  “Hmm…” she murmured. She opened the message.

  Are you free?

  “Well, that’s interesting.”

  “What?” Eric asked.

  “I just got a message from the devil himself.”

  “ARE YOU GOING TO ANSWER HIM?” Eric asked.

  Bryna shrugged. “I guess.”

  He gave her an exasperated look as she typed back a response.

  Who is this?

  She was pretty sure it was Jude, but she had deleted his number out of her phone long ago. It was possible it was someone else. She just doubted it. After seeing him on campus, she had done nothing but think about him. Perhaps it was vanity to think he had been doing the same.

  Bri, you know who this is.

  With proof before her, joy sparked in her belly with the new knowledge.

  Do I?

  She knew she was playing coy, but she wanted him to say it. She wanted him to admit that it was him and that he couldn’t stop thinking about her. It was sick and twisted, but she couldn’t deny it.

  Yes.

  His answer was so resolute, but another message followed quickly behind it.

  I wasn’t expecting to see you today.

  I noticed. Why are you texting me?

  Let’s meet up.

  She ground her teeth together. Honestly? Just like that? She could tell in one text message that he wanted to start everything up all over again. A year down the drain, and all for nothing.

  So, you saw me for a whole two seconds, and what? The temptation to cheat on your wife was too great?

  I just want to see you.

  No. I haven’t heard from you in a year. You made your bed, and now, you have to lie in it.

  “Ugh,” she grumbled.

  “What’s he saying?” Eric flipped the burgers and tried not to look too interested in her conversation.

  “He’s being…himself.” The next buzz sent her scrambling back to find out what he’d said.

  You’re not the least bit curious about what I have to say?

  No.

  Yes, she was insanely curious. Why now? Is it because he’s in Vegas and his wife isn’t here to watch over him? Is it ease of access? Or does he have something legitimate he wants to say?

  She cursed her heart for hoping. Hope was the drug of the weak.

  Liar.

  That one word cut like knives.

  That’s your repertoire.

  I’d say we share the talent.

  Ugh! Why am I even considering this? Why am I even allowing him to have this conversation with me? After everything, he was weaseling his way back in.

  What do you want?

  To see you. To talk.

  Talk? Honestly? How do I know this isn’t a lie? A trap?

  She knew who he was. Jude never wanted to just talk, and being near him was toxic. This very conversation was bad enough. Seeing him would be the equivalent of Hiroshima.

  What does it matter? You’re considering it by talking to me. Give in to your curiosity. I have a hotel room nearby. Meet me.

  She shook her head. He would never change. She knew she shouldn’t even consider going. But then again, she wasn’t seeing anyone. Not really. That also had never been their problem.

  She hated second-guessing herself, and she hated wondering what-if. What-if had never done anyone any good. She needed to put this all behind her.

  Fine. Send me the address.

  Bryna tossed her phone into her purse at her feet. “Speaking of the devil, guess I have to cut our lunch short.”

  “So, you’re really going to go see him? After everything you told me?” Eric asked.

  “Yep.” She stood and stretched out her legs. “It probably doesn’t make sense to you.”

  It didn’t make much sense to her, except that she was drawn to Jude and too damn curious not to go.

  “No. It doesn’t make sense. Do you think this is a good idea?”

  “Probably not.”

  “And you’re going to go anyway?”

  “Yeah,” she confirmed.

  “What’s the likelihood that you’ll walk out of this less fucked up?”

  She considered the question. “I’d guess it’s a one-in-a-million shot.”

  “And you’re still going to go?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “How exactly do you plan on getting there?” he asked. His arms were crossed over his chest. His hamburgers were forgotten on the plate he had rested them on.

  “I guess if you don’t take me, I’ll have to walk there myself,” she told him defiantly.

  He sighed. She could see he was as resigned as she was.

  “All right. Can I take you, and when he inevitably pisses you off, kick his ass?”

  “You’re not going to fight me on this?”

  “I’d love to. Trust me,” he grumbled. “But arguing with you is like trying to move a mountain. You’re set on this.”

  “Yeah, I am.”

  “Promise to be careful.”

  Bryna shrugged. She was never careful. Life was too short. It was better to live dangerously and recklessly or not at all. She had every right to give Jude a piece of her mind, an opportunity that had been robbed from her for a year. He had taken so much and given nothing in return. She deserved this moment.

  This time, she wasn’t naive eno
ugh to think that he cared about her or that she loved him. She wouldn’t be caught off guard with his presence like she had been on campus. She was too smart to be trapped in his snare.

  Eric clearly wanted to argue with her more, but he didn’t. He didn’t pressure her to do the right thing. He didn’t try to tell her that seeing Jude would be the wrong move. He didn’t even say anything about the nerves in his posture. He must seriously think she was going to die after one interaction with Jude. She was stronger than that.

  She would have to be.

  Eric and Bryna made it to the hotel where Jude was staying. It was a five-star hotel off campus, and Eric knew where it was without her telling him. He drove up to the entrance to let her out.

  She took a deep breath.

  She started to get out, but he reached out and grabbed her arm.

  “Hey.”

  “Yeah?” she asked.

  “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

  “Me, too,” she whispered.

  “I’ll wait for you.”

  She shook her head. “No. I can’t ask you to do that.”

  “You didn’t ask.”

  She smiled. “Thanks for being a good friend, but I’ll be fine. I don’t know how long I’ll be.”

  “Call me when you’re done then.”

  “I will.” She shrugged off his arm. “Don’t worry about me.”

  He didn’t think she was fine on a good day, and today was far from that. She almost felt a pang of regret for putting him in this position, but it disappeared quickly.

  Bryna entered the hotel and took the elevator up to Jude’s room. Her hands were shaking when she reached his door. She took a few deep breaths until her body was calm and relaxed once more.

  She repeated the mantra in her mind that had so often calmed her before, I am queen. I am queen. I am queen.

  She knocked.

  Someone shuffled around inside the room, and then the door was opening. She’d thought she was prepared. She’d thought this wouldn’t affect her like earlier when she hadn’t expected him. She had been wrong.

  The breath whooshed out of her lungs at the sight of him. God, he’s beautiful. Up close, words didn’t do him justice. Dark hair, all-knowing dark eyes, those lips, that jaw—it was too much. He looked perfect in a suit. His tie was missing, and the top button had been undone. Her stomach fluttered.

  She would not break. She could do this.

  “Bri,” he said. He seemed to taste her name on his tongue.

  She wished it had made her cringe, but it only drew her in.

  She was fucked.

  “Come on in.”

  He opened the door wide, and she entered his suite. It was modest for his tastes, but she suspected he would only be here for the night. He would have gone more extravagant if he had to actually spend any time in the hotel. He clearly hadn’t been expecting visitors. He was a man of many pleasures and liked to showcase them.

  “I knew you’d come.”

  He walked up behind her. She could feel his presence so close to her. She forced herself to remain still. She was not intimidated.

  “I’ve heard that before,” she said coyly.

  He laughed lightly in her ear. She felt powerless in that moment, pulled into his enthrallment. She both loved and hated the feeling. This was why she had gotten with Hugh in the first place. She wanted the power. She could have her own exhilarating moments without the inevitable destruction that could follow.

  “You know,” he whispered, “I’m glad you’re here.”

  His hand slid across the small of her back. His touch was like an electric current under her skin. It would be so easy to lean into him. She could let him sweep her away in his tempting dance. But she knew she couldn’t, not if she wanted to make it out of here intact.

  “Let’s not.” She stepped away and faced him. “I might be only a year older, but I’m infinitely wiser. I’m not going to drop at your feet over your seduction techniques.”

  “Oh, how I do love you on your knees though.”

  Bryna glared at him. This was not how she had envisioned the conversation. Though she hadn’t really known what it would be like anyway.

  “Stop it,” she snapped.

  “You’re right, of course,” he said, clearing the distance. “You’re so over it all.” He flicked the diamond necklace that he had given her.

  She defiantly raised her chin. “Oh, you like my scarlet letter?” She held up her wrist where the bracelet Hugh had given her a couple of weeks ago was attached. “Looks like I’ve gotten another.”

  Jude seemed surprised at first, and then his cool demeanor returned. “I see you’ve upgraded.”

  “That is an understatement,” she said. She couldn’t keep the malice from her voice. “If this was all you wanted to say to me, then this was a total waste of my time.”

  “You know why you came here,” he said. He stepped toward her, walking her backward. “You didn’t give a shit about what I might say. You came here because you haven’t seen me in a year.”

  “I thought I would find an ounce of a decent human being, and I was wrong.”

  He grabbed her around the waist. Her body distinctly remembered the feel of his touch. She wanted nothing more than to let those memories wash over her. She could drown in the memories.

  “Stay here with me,” he said. His words weren’t even pleading. They were a demand, as if he thought he had any right to demand something from her.

  His mouth was on hers a second later. She gasped, and his tongue slipped into her mouth. He tasted amazing. Her whole world surrendered. This was what it was supposed to be like, yet it was all wrong. She hated herself for enjoying it.

  She roughly pushed him away from her. “How dare you! Jesus Christ! I cannot believe you’re trying to fuck me right now. You are married. You have a kid! If she knew you were here right now, you would never see the light of day again. I could bury you.”

  Jude seemed unperturbed. “Oh, Bri, you wouldn’t—even if you wanted to.”

  “You’re an asshole.” She was shaking again. She couldn’t seem to stop.

  All the emotions she’d buried deep inside herself were breaking free. Everything felt too real.

  “You ripped my life apart and left me without a word, and all you got was a slap on the wrist for your behavior. I should have known better than to think you would act like the grown-up in all of this.”

  She glared at him. She was disgusted. In him. In herself.

  “Bri, come on,” he said as she stormed toward the door.

  This had been a mistake. A horrible mistake. Seeing him had fucked everything up rather than making everything better. She had thought it would be bad but not like this. Not like she had a gaping wound in her body.

  “Don’t,” she snapped. “Leave me alone. Call your wife, and forget this entire thing.”

  She rushed out of the room and down the hall. Jude didn’t follow her. She didn’t know why she had expected him to. It wasn’t in his nature to be kind or caring or loving. He’d wanted her to come to his hotel room to have sex. No consequences for him. He had never once thought about what it would do to her.

  She couldn’t keep it together.

  She fished out her phone and fumbled through her contacts to find Eric’s name.

  He answered immediately. “Bryna, are you okay?”

  Tears streamed down her face. “No,” she admitted. “Will you come get me?”

  “I’m waiting for you outside.”

  “You waited?” she asked. She didn’t know how long she had been inside with Jude, but it had been a while.

  “I had a feeling you might need me to.”

  She brushed the tears off her cheeks with the back of her hand. “Thank you.”

  There he was, waiting in his Jeep out front just as she had left him.

  She sank heavily into the passenger seat.

  “I’m guessing that one-in-a-million shot didn’t happen?”

  “No
, it didn’t.”

  She leaned across the car and rested her head on his shoulder. He didn’t protest as more tears leaked from her eyes.

  “You were right. It’s worse now,” she whispered.

  LIFE WAS A BLUR.

  One big, hazy blur.

  The weeks following her unfortunate meeting with Jude, Bryna felt like she had been transported in time. She was back to those first couple of weeks after Jude had walked out of her life. She was a zombie. A total mess.

  Even her tired mantra couldn’t save her from the crippling depression. She walked through classes, cheer practice, parties, all of it with the pretend ease she normally ruled with. But she didn’t feel it, and she didn’t care.

  Trihn and Stacia tried to pull her out of her funk, but they didn’t know what had happened. Any help they had was belied by their ignorance, and she refused to clue them in. They were busy with their own lives. Trihn and Neal were sickeningly cute together, and Stacia seemed to have some new guy she wasn’t talking about yet. It left Bryna with too much alone time, and thus, she spent a lot of her afternoons at Eric’s place, avoiding Pace.

  Even Hugh had seemed to notice a change in her mood. She could only fake so much with him. She had tried to be positive and upbeat for Valentine’s Day, which had landed on one of the weekends Hugh was in town. But all it had done was remind her of the Pink Charity Benefit where Jude had left her.

  Two more weeks had passed in no time, and she was on her way back to Hugh’s resort where she anticipated spending the weekend relaxing at the spa and shopping before locking herself away in his penthouse when he wasn’t working.

  She made it upstairs and found Hugh sitting on the balcony, staring out at the Strip.

  “Hey,” she said with a smile.

  He frowned when he saw her. That wasn’t normal.

  “What’s up?” she asked.

  “I hate seeing you like this.”

  “Like what?” She raised her chin and tried to fall naturally into her own self-confidence. She walked over to him.

  “You seem off.”

  She smiled and shrugged her shoulders. “I’m fine. Really.”

  “Yes. Well, in either case, I decided I wanted to get you a little pick-me-up.”