by Mary Smith
“No, you’re not. You’re my sweetheart. You’re my Janan. You’re smart, beautiful, full of life, and I want you to be mine.”
“Ham—”
He cuts me off by kissing me again. This time I don’t fight it. I let the sensation of happiness wash over me. I miss his lips, his hold, and especially his touch. He grabs the back of my thighs and picks me up, laying me back onto the bed. His strong body covers mine as I allow his tongue to slip into my mouth. I wrap my legs around his waist and he pushes down on me.
“Please say yes to giving me a second chance.” He breaks away from my lips. “I want this more than anything.”
I touch his scruffy cheek. “I’ll never forgive myself if I hurt you.”
“You will only hurt me if you say no.”
I kiss him softly. “What about if we do a trial basis?” I contend.
“What do you mean?”
“Let’s go slow. I don’t want to hurt you.” It’s my biggest fear, and I know it’s bound to happen. I have Sharon’s blood in me. She was beyond the evilest woman in the world.
“You won’t hurt me and we’ll go however slow or fast you want.” He gives me a chaste kiss. “You tell me.”
My heart races because this is a step I want to take. I want to take it with him.
Chapter Eight
Hamilton
I PLATE UP the omelet and bacon and place it and a cup of coffee in front of Janan. I’m fighting every urge in my body not to drag her upstairs and do everything and anything to her. But just having her this close feels amazing and great to me. She’s giving me a second chance.
“I can get used to this.” Janan sips her coffee.
“Stay with me every night and I’ll make sure you get a balanced breakfast.” I’m being honest with her, but she thinks I’m joking. I grab my own plate and sit next to her at the breakfast bar. “Want to catch a movie tonight? Or maybe just grab dinner?” I’m going to make sure she doesn’t back out of her decision.
“I can do dinner. Where at?”
Before I can answer I hear my front door open. “Fuck.” I moan as I hear Alden, Nathan, and Teo coming toward the kitchen.
“Janan, you’re sexy as fuck.” Alden, of course, is the first to comment about her appearance.
Last night I changed her into a t-shirt of mine and a clean pair of shorts. “Shut up, Alden.”
“Hammy, please, I enjoy Alden’s comments.” Janan smiles and thanks him. “I’m still waiting on the dick pics though.”
I groan.
“Captain threatened my life if I sent them.” Alden helps himself to a bottled water from my fridge.
Janan giggles and bumps my shoulder. “What are you three doing here?” she asks them.
“We’re here to grab Baer and go workout,” Teo explains.
“How are you, Teo?” Janan smirks at him. “It seems we’ve not talked a lot.”
“I’m... fine.” He steps back and seems almost apprehensive to answer her. “Why? Are you asking for Nova?”
Janan gasps. “You know?”
“Everyone knows,” Nathan says.
“So.” Janan forgets her plate and focuses on Teo. “Are you single? No one back home in Sweden or anything?” Her face is glowing, and I know she’s getting all this information for Nova.
Teo clears his throat and crosses his arms. “I’m single.”
“As is Nova.” Janan rests her chin on the heel of her hand. “You two would make a cute couple.”
Teo says nothing. He just stands there with his arms crossed.
“Why aren’t you trying to hook me up with Nova?” Alden asks.
“Because she has class,” I tell him.
“I have class. I buy ribbed condoms for her pleasure. See,” he taps his temple, “I’m always thinking of the woman.”
Janan doubles over in laughter, and I can’t help the grin on my face. There’s no way to argue with Alden. He has an answer for everything.
“I’m not going to workout today,” I say hoping they’ll leave.
“What? Why?” Janan asks in a baffled tone. Before I can answer she continues. “Just go.” She pushes on my shoulder. “I’ll call Nova to come get me.”
I sigh. “If she can’t, then take my car.” I offer to her.
“Hey, why don’t you ever let me borrow your fly ass car?” Alden almost whines.
“She’s responsible,” I answer and head up to my room to change into my workout clothes. I hurry because I don’t want Janan to be down there too long with Alden. That guy can get into any woman’s panties he wants, and I don’t want to have to kill him if he crosses the line with Janan.
When I come back into the kitchen, I see Janan laughing again and the guys are as well. “What’s so funny?”
They all laugh harder and I know it’s something at my expense. “Come on let’s go,” I announce and quickly kiss Janan’s head, whom is still laughing, and head to the door.
Nathan drives us to the arena for our workout since there’s no practice today, but we’ll have to watch videos this afternoon. I’m thankful because I want to get home as soon as possible and figure out where to go to dinner with Janan. I know she’s not into fancy places and such, but I want something special for her.
I still can’t believe what the past several hours have brought me. When I heard Janan’s voice on the phone my heart stopped and didn’t start back up until she was next to me. I wanted to kill that shit-face asshole who was hurting Janan. I’d never seen her freeze up before. She’s always a fighter. However, I know she still has issues from growing up with Sharon. She even admitted a few to me this morning. Janan will never be Sharon. I know it in my heart.
The workout is hard, but I always push myself a little harder each time. Just one more rep. Just one more mile. Just one more pull up. I take my position on the Bears seriously. Being captain is more than just a “C” on the chest. You have to be a role model and essentially a big brother. No, I’m not in a position to “coach” anyone, but I’m there for the guys if they need me. I know I come off as a hard ass, but if I see a player just sitting around and not applying himself, I’ll give him a swift kick in the ass. It’s something I did with Teo when he was sucking so badly last season. I think Coach Long’s talking to him did a better job than mine, but he has a way with words.
“I hate you three so damn much.” Teo comes over to Nathan, Alden, and me in the locker room.
“Why?” Nathan asks.
Teo holds up his phone and I read the text on the screen.
Teo, it’s Nova. I was told you wanted my number.
“It wasn’t me,” I say as does Nathan and Alden. I groan. “I bet it was Janan.”
“Why? Why would she do that?” Teo nods to his phone.
“She’s just looking out for her cousin.” I defend her, even though she should have kept her nose out of it.
“Teo, have you been with a chick?” Alden asks. “I mean, I’ve never seen you with anyone. You still holding onto the V-card or did you dump it in back in Swede Land?” Alden is always saying countries wrong to piss off the guys.
“I’m not a virgin. I lost it years ago. But Nova... she’s... different.” Teo struggles for the words.
“Different, how?” Now, I feel as if I need to defend her.
“She’s... so.... um... shy.” He’s careful with his words.
“What he really means is she’s not pretty enough.” Alden translates.
“What?” I bark. “Nova is very pretty.” I glare at Teo.
“I never said that, Alden.” Teo throws his hands up. “I mean she’s shy. I’m certain she’s never been on a date. I mean look at her home life. We all know what Coach went through, and I’m certain she didn’t have a childhood of rainbows and sunshine.”
I sigh. “You’re right they didn’t have a great home life but they’re adults and have come a long way.” I direct myself in front of Teo. “You might be surprised how amazing Nova is. Just go on one date and see what happe
ns.”
Teo shrugs. “Okay. What’s one date going to do, right?”
I RUSH AROUND trying to make sure I have everything done by the time I need to head over to Janan’s place. Tonight is going to be our first official date, and I want everything to be absolutely perfect.
Nova buzzes me into their building. I take the stairs so I don’t have to wait on the elevator. Nova hugs me the second she swings open the door.
“Thank you. Thank you.” She keeps saying over and over.
I chuckle. “Why?”
“Teo texted me back and said it was because of you he’s taking me out.” She’s glowing with excitement.
“I’m glad, but you let me know if he’s an ass to you because I’ll kick his ass.” I warn her.
“He won’t be. He’s going to be a perfect gentleman. I can feel it.”
“Okay. Is Janan ready?” I ask as I walk into the apartment.
This place is a bit bittersweet for me. It’s here Janan told me she wasn’t going to give me a second chance several months ago. Her words broke me that day. I practically cried all the way home.
“Give her a few minutes. Alex was over here earlier and wouldn’t leave.” Nova informs me.
“Excuse me? What was fuck stick doing here?” My blood begins to boil. I should have broken the asshole’s nose.
“He came over to apologize. Nothing else. Calm down. You know Janan. She handled it and sent him on his way. She ordered him not to contact her again,” Nova tells me. “Trust me. He won’t be calling her anytime soon.”
My racing heart slows a bit from her words, but I’m still pissed because he came here to bother Janan and I wasn’t here to save her. Yes, I’m aware she can handle herself, but I’m her boyfriend. It’s my job.
“Why do you look as if you’re ready to fight a bull?” Janan’s question causes me to turn around and I’m frozen in place.
She’s more beautiful than I could have imagined.
And she’s mine.
Her brown hair is down around her shoulders in soft waves. The makeup on her face isn’t heavy, but it highlights her high cheekbones and breathtaking brown eyes. She has on a black dress, with a deep V showing her perfect breasts, and it flares out from her waist stopping right before her knees.
She’s perfect.
“I’m not mad.” I may have lied.
“Lair.” She calls me out and comes up to me.
I’m six foot eight and every woman I’ve ever been with has been a lot shorter than me, but Janan is almost five foot ten and with her heels, there’s not a massive difference.
“Are you ready to paint the town?” She grins.
“Yes.” I breathe out.
“You two have fun!” Nova calls out as we walk out of the apartment.
I hold tight to Janan as we make our way out to my car. “You could have taken this today,” I tell her once I’m driving down the street.
“Nova came and got me.” She has her hand on my thigh. “I had to go to campus and work today.”
“How are things going at the shelter?”
“Great.” She smiles. “I know I shouldn’t be excited about it since it’s heart wrenching for them being there, but the kids are great. I’m even helping a couple of the women study for their GEDs.”
“Really? Sweetheart, how awesome. So, you’re really enjoying tutoring?”
“I am. I’m so glad I changed my major too. I’m learning a lot, and it’s only been a short time since the semester started.”
I hit the interstate and head toward Concord. Sure, there’s plenty of places to eat in Manchester, but tonight I want a different location for my girl. Somewhere special for just the two of us.
I park near the Granite Restaurant. I open the door for Janan and hand-in-hand we walk toward the front door. I give my name but the hostess obviously recognizes me as she blatantly stares at me. I hold Janan closer to me as we make our way to the table. I hold her chair out for her and make sure she’s comfortable before I take my seat.
“This is fancy.” Janan smirks as she picks up the menu.
“It’s not overly fancy, but it’s nice.” I unbutton my jacket.
The waitress comes over and takes our order for drinks and appetizers. Over the years, I’ve been able to ignore the stares women give me. It’s just because I’m big and play hockey. However, when she leaves to put in our order, Janan has one eyebrow raised.
“What?”
“She was flirting with you.” Janan’s sing-song voice lowers.
“Lots of females flirt but you know me better.”
“You’re still a guy.” She points out.
“A guy in love with you.”
Her eyes lower and she tries to keep a straight face, but the corners of her mouth twitch. I’m so glad I told her how I felt this morning. I’m not trying to be overly expressive, but I had to tell her. Showing her the ring was a huge risk but every part of my being needed to show her. I want it to be on her finger. I want her to carry my last name. I want everything about her, but I’ll move at her pace. I don’t care how long it takes—Janan is my life—she has been for a long time.
“What are you going to have?” She changes the subject.
Now, I hide my smile and turn my attention to the menu. The waitress brings our drinks and takes our dinner orders. I decide on the spiced rubbed pork flat iron steak and Janan is getting the seared sea scallops.
As always, Janan and I fall into comfortable conversation. She tells me about her classes and school. Her true love is the NOW organization and the upcoming events and rallies they’re going to host. I’m proud of her. Her passion is helping reach so many people about their drive to bring awareness to women’s equality.
I go on and on about hockey, working out, and more hockey. I do add in Henry a bit, since he’ll be here next week. This’ll be the first time Henry will meet Janan face-to-face. I’m ready for the season to start. Hockey drives my soul.
But here’s Janan—right in front of me—and it seems different.
Hockey is behind Janan.
My girlfriend is first.
Chapter Nine
Janan
DINNER HAD BEEN perfect. A perfect date with Hamilton. Waking up the next day with a smile on my face is something I’ve not done in a long time. I get ready for my day by taking a long hot shower. Nova and I have been paying ridiculously large water bills, but we love it. Sounds weird, I know. Sharon, the evil bitch, would time every part of our lives and ten minute showers were a huge deal to her. Now, we practically stay in til either the water turns cold or my skin wrinkles.
“Oh my God, hurry up, I have to talk to you,” Nova yells through the door.
“Okay.” I step it up because I’m curious on what’s going on. Nova is the calmer one of us, so if she’s excited about something, then it has to be a huge deal.
Once I finish, I rush to the kitchen where Nova is beaming at her cell phone screen. She’s actually glowing. “All right, I’m ready.” I sit down across from her.
She turns her phone around and shows me several text messages from Teo.
I gasp. “He asked you out”—I clap my hands—“that’s awesome.”
“Thank you for forcing me to text him.” She clutches the phone to her chest. “We texted all night long. He’s funny and deep. So much more so than I thought before.” Nova is all doe eyed and is floating up in the clouds.
I giggle with excitement. “I’m happy for you. So, when are you going out?”
“Tonight.” Suddenly her face falls. “He wants to go out tonight.”
“Hey.” I reach for her hand. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t have anything to wear. Everything I own makes me look fatter than I already am.”
I roll my eyes. “Novabear, you’re not fat. You’re curvy.” I’m not feeding her a line either. Nova is slightly pear shaped and about a size ten. I’d kill for her thick hips and thighs. I’m straight like a railroad rail. “We’ll find something
amazing.”
“Would it be strange if I made the suggestion to Teo to come here for dinner? I wouldn’t feel comfortable going out in public and have people staring at us.” Her face drops again.
Sharon ruined Nova’s self-esteem. She constantly called her fat and ugly. “I think he’ll enjoy a home-cooked meal.” I smile at her. “Come on, let’s go shopping.”
We head straight for the mall. There were plenty of places for us to find something. We found a semi-casual outfit at Macy’s. A pair of dark skinny jeans, with a gray sequin tank top. It shows her cleavage and is tight enough to show off her awesome curves. I even help her pick up a pair of knee high heeled boots. Nova is much shorter than me, and I know Teo is at least six feet tall, so she needs some height.
For the rest of the day and into the evening, I work on homework and text a few of my NOW friends to finish up some small details for the upcoming rally. I know Hamilton is still working out and practicing, but I know I’ll hear from him.
Just then our door buzzer goes off and I hear Nova talking, but I can’t make out who she’s speaking too. I go back to my homework and focus on the words in front of me.
“You know this is how most school-girl fantasy pornos start.”
I drop my pen and a smile spreads quickly across my face as I turn in my chair and see Hamilton leaning against my doorway. “That sounds like something Alden would say.”
“Ouch.” Hamilton groans, comes into my room and sits on my bed.
“What are you doing here?”
“I missed you and wanted to see if you would like to go grab some food with me.”
“Perfect. Nova is cooking for Teo tonight, I’ll need to leave them alone for a bit.” I shut my books and grab my phone and purse.
“Teo told me. I think he’s nervous.” Hamilton stands and pulls me into his arms. “However, I’d like a kiss from my girlfriend who I’ve not seen all day.” He leans down and kisses me.
“Eeek! I’m sorry.” Nova squeals from the doorway. I look over and she has her eyes covered and she’s still saying sorry over and over.
“It’s okay.” I can’t help but giggle. “We were just kissing.” Hamilton still holds me closer to him. “What’s wrong?”