STORM: IT'S A CURSE TO REMEMBER

by Gurpreet Kaur Sidhu

  Venice grabbed a tissue from the coffee table and wiped the tears away at the sound of the knock on the door.

  “Come in,” she said, taking a deep breath and wiping her nose.

  Candice peered in, not expecting to see Venice in a fragile state.

  “Hey,” Candice said with concern. “Is everything okay?” She hadn’t heard the entire conversation. A missing sentence here and there threw her off entirely but something told her the meeting between the two of them did not end on a good note.

  She met her eyes. “Yeah…everything’s fine,” Venice said, clenching the tissue in her hand.

  “Okay,” Candice replied with a smile. “Mrs. Kingston called and rescheduled for next week Tuesday.”

  Venice nodded. “Thank you for letting me know.”

  Candice smiled as she closed the door.

  The old woman opened the bottom drawer, pulled out the journal, and began to write.

  Chapter 4

  Evan stood in front of the house patiently on Kentwood Drive in Dusk View, a city half an hour away from Lake View passing through the central business district and MidView. He held a chocolate cake topped off with chocolate-covered strawberries bought from Bernie’s, his favorite bakery. He peered into the window looking for Denise. He could see her pacing back and forth in the kitchen. She was wearing a pink apron that hung off her neck. Denise never really bothered tying her apron around her waist. “I’m going to take it off anyway,” Evan remembered Denise saying on multiple occasions.

  Evan pushed the doorbell button once again, hoping someone would come to his rescue. It was freezing. Dusk View was closer to the ocean than Lake View. The temperatures dropped lower and a lot faster than they did in Lake View but like Lake View, it never snowed. The homes were bigger and newer with very limited space in the front and backyard compared to the homes in Lake View. When he caught a glimpse of Denise as she turned away from the oven, he motioned her to come open the door for him.

  Denise hurried over to the door. Her apron swung behind her from side to side like Batman coming to his rescue. The dramatic effect of gravity came to a halt as she stood still, unlocking the door.

  “Oh, thank god you brought dessert,” Denise said, noticing the brown box with Bernie’s stamped across it in Evan’s hands.

  Denise Storm-Smith held the door as Evan entered the house. It was nice and warm.

  “I was going to bring ice cream but then I remembered how much Nate hates ice cream in the winter,” Evan said, walking into the kitchen with Denise only a few feet behind him. “He’s a weird kid. I loved ice cream in the winter when I was younger. You remember that? Getting brain freezes and then Grandma giving us that look that said it all.”

  “Tell me about it. I could hear her I told you so’s in my head when she gave us that look. I think it rubbed off on me. I do that with Nate sometimes,” she chuckled.

  “Sometimes? You’ve given me that look more than Grandma ever has.”

  Denise rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Stop exaggerating.”

  “You know I’m right.”

  “You should call her some time this week. She’s worried about you.”

  Denise turned back with a blank stare. This was the third time he’d mentioned this to her and even though she knew Evan was right, she didn’t like hearing it.

  Evan set the cake in the refrigerator and looked around the kitchen island. Denise had cooked up a storm today.

  “Were you on some crazy diet this past week?” Evan asked, eyeing everything in front of him.

  There was cheese lasagna in the oven, garlic bread, Caesar salad, green beans, and the last dish he assumed was a bowl of potato salad. Denise never cooked like this; only during the holidays and special occasions.

  She looked over her shoulder as she opened the oven door to check on the lasagna. “What?”

  “Holy, that smells good,” Evan said. He closed his eyes and sniffed the air as the aroma filled the kitchen. “Why did you make so much food?”

  Denise sighed. “I wasn’t sure if salad and lasagna was going to be enough and plus, leftovers are always good. You want some wine?” She turned to the wine cooler and pulled out a bottle.

  “Sure, why not. Where’s Nate, by the way? He’s usually in the kitchen trying to help.”

  Denise frowned as she set the wine glasses on the counter and began to pour. “He’s out on the porch. When he woke up in the morning to feed Firefins…”

  Her frown finished the end of her sentence.

  “Oh, that’s horrible. Ryan bought that fish for him, didn’t he?”

  “Yeah,” Denise said, pushing the cork back in the wine bottle. She handed Evan his wine glass and took a seat beside him.

  “He came downstairs in the morning with tears in his eyes. His eyes were puffy, like super puffy…it was really heartbreaking. I remember him asking Ryan over and over again if he could get a pet. After all the begging, Nate finally got his fish.” Denise’s eyes traveled to the screen door where she could see Nate sitting on the porch, with his arms folded on his knees and head lowered. What really pained Denise was Ryan wasn’t there to console Nate. Lost in thought, she began to daydream. Her mind jumped from one scenario to another, each worse than the last.

  Evan’s multiple elbow nudges didn’t help Denise out of her trance.

  “Denise.”

  “Huh?” Her pupils, dilated, slowly went back to normal when she met Evan’s eyes. She gradually took another sip as she came back to reality.

  “You okay?”

  “To be honest, I don’t know. Ever since the accident, it’s just been a nightmare. With running a company, raising Nate…sometimes I just feel like I can’t even breathe. I feel like my brain is going to explode.”

  Evan put down his wine glass and wrapped his arm around Denise. “I’m sorry Denise. I really am.”

  “I know,” she replied as she took a sip.

  Ryan’s car accident had taken place in October, which put him in a coma for a month and a half. It had been a month since Ryan awoke, remembering everything but not recalling Denise ever being pregnant with Nate.

  “Is he showing any improvements?”

  “No,” Denise said, turning to Evan, “I mean, he’s walking and talking. He’s getting his physical therapy and the doctor said that he’ll be discharged from the hospital in the next few days. That’s really good news, but—”

  “You haven’t told Nate huh?”

  “No, I haven’t. I don’t know how,” she shrugged, not wanting to go into detail about how Ryan was handling it, which certainly didn’t help Denise.

  Evan and Denise sat in silence. When the kitchen timer went off, Denise quickly scooted off her chair. She grabbed the oven mitt off the counter, as she made her way to the oven and pulled out the sizzling hot lasagna.

  “Holy, that smells so damn good,” Evan said again, eyeing the tray as Denise brought it over to the counter.

  The cheese bubbled while the oil rested on top.

  “I just hope it tastes as good as it looks,” Denise mumbled, as she examined all sides of the lasagna dish. The confidence started to kick in once Denise cut into the lasagna, seeing that it had been cooked thoroughly. “Can you go and get Nate for me please?”

  “Yeah, sure thing,” Evan said, rising from his seat. He walked to the screen door, peering through quietly before stepping out onto the porch. Evan joined Nate Smith on the steps, who was layered with a gray coat and a red scarf around his neck. Evan looked at Nate, who didn’t bother to turn around.

  “Hey, buddy,” Evan finally said. He waited for a response from Nate, but got nothing. Evan playfully nudged Nate, hoping to get his attention.

  Slowly, Nate lifted his head from his knees, craning his neck sideways, meeting Evan’s eyes. “Hi, Uncle Evan,” he said in a somber voice.

  Evan coul
d see the sadness through his big brown eyes.

  “How’s it going?” Evan asked, trying to make the conversation upbeat.

  “Firefins died today.”

  Evan never had the experience of talking to a child about death. What was the right thing to say? Nate was only seven years old. Evan was pretty sure the topic itself was too much for a seven-year-old to comprehend.

  “I’m sorry buddy.” Evan paused for a moment, trying to think of something comforting to say that would put Nate in a better mood. “You can always get another fish…”

  “I can’t replace Firefins,” Nate sighed. “It won’t be the same.”

  Evan was surprised by the response Nate gave. He had no idea how well Nate comprehended death. Nate was much wiser at his age than Evan was when he was seven years old.

  “That’s very true,” Evan agreed. “Hey, you lost your toof,” he added, noticing the gap between his front teeth.

  Nate ran his finger across the gap. “Yeah,” he giggled.

  “What’s so funny?”

  Nate’s teeth gleamed as he roared with laughter remembering the funny incident.

  “Last week when my tooth was really loose, I pulled it out right in front of my mom. She made a disgusting face, Uncle Evan. It was so funny! And she almost threw up.” Nate held his stomach as he laughed.

  Evan remembered the pranks Ryan pulled in the early years of their marriage before Nate was born. In a lot of ways, Nate definitely took after his father.

  “Are you hungry? Dinner’s ready.”

  “Yeah, I kinda am,” Nate said, getting up from the porch.

  Evan stood tall beside Nate. He followed his uncle back into the house, where Denise had already set the dinner table. She smiled at Evan, feeling a bit relieved after she witnessed the change in Nate’s mood.

  They sat around the kitchen table, passing the garlic bread, taking one piece each; each dish going around the table once.

  “So what have you been up to lately?” Denise asked Evan.

  Her eyes flicked over to her right. Nate had just put in a steaming hot piece of lasagna into his mouth. Within a split second, Nate spit it out onto his plate, waving his hand back and forth in front of his face and panting. He scrunched his face while his tongue stuck out like a puppy on a hot summer day.

  “Oh sweetie. Here,” she said, picking up his glass and handing it to him. “Drink some soda. It’ll help cool off the burn. You gotta be careful, hun.”

  She watched Nate as he took a couple of sips before putting his glass down on the table. On another note, she realized how long Nate’s hair had grown in the last couple of weeks, brown and curled at the ends. Just like Ryan’s. Even though Ryan wasn’t here with them, just looking at Nate made her feel Ryan’s presence.

  Denise turned to Evan and asked, “Are you almost finished with the garden?”

  Evan grinned in embarrassment. “No, not really,” he said, locking eyes with Denise, knowing what she’d say next.

  She shook her head in disappointment. “You’re so consumed in this belief that these episodes you’re having mean something,” she said, biting into some lasagna before continuing. “You’re letting your life pass you by. I mean, what if you figure out—which shouldn’t take long—that these dreams or memories, whatever they are, really don’t mean anything? You’re going to look back and regret not taking that time and doing something that mattered. Something more productive, like, I don’t know…dating.”

  “You’re really not going to let this go, are you? And I’m not ready to date just yet, either.”

  Denise put her fork down. “No, I’m not. I understand you want to know why you’re having these episodes, but I just think that they’re taking control of your life.”

  “They have, Denise,” Evan said, wishing Denise wasn’t right. “You don’t know what it’s like to wake up feeling like you’re living a double life. It feels like my past is controlling me. There are times when I dread going to sleep. I don’t want to wake up in the middle of the night, screaming, and drenched in sweat. My life is a nightmare, Denise. I want it to end and the only way that’s gonna happen is to figure out why I’m remembering these parts of my life.”

  Denise looked at her brother with concern. She was starting to realize it was more serious than she thought.

  “Okay,” she said, picking up her fork again. “Just don’t lose focus on the things that matter in your life now. Like your career and family.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ve got it handled.”

  She gave him that look—the one arched eyebrow, pursed lips, and a glare.

  “I know what I’m doing,” Evan reassured her.

  “Okay,” she said, quietly collecting some green beans with her fork. “So, there’s this new girl who moved from Pool View. She’s one of the interior designers. Real pretty. I was thinking what a cute couple you two would make.”

  “No, Denise. You’re not going to set me up. You do a horrible, horrible job setting people up.”

  Denise gasped in shock. “What are you talking about?”

  Evan looked over at Nate, who was quite enjoying the conversation between his mother and uncle. “Your mother,” he began, “she thinks she’s cupid.”

  Nate giggled at Evan’s comment. “Cupids aren’t real.”

  “Exactly,” Evan responded. He turned to Denise. “Nate knows what he’s talking about.”

  Denise stabbed some bits of lettuce and a crouton with her fork and said, “But love exists and you need to go out there and find it, then get married, and if you’re not going to look,” she said as her voice started to rise, “then let me help you.” She gazed at Evan as she chewed, eyes widened in curiosity.

  “I don’t disagree that love exists, but I don’t think I’m ready to give it my all. I did that with Harmony and look where it got me. One amazing year down the drain.”

  “You’re being so cynical. Just because it didn’t work out with one person doesn’t mean the next one is going to be the same,” she said, raising her eyebrow as she continued to chew. “You always had a problem opening up with women—”

  “Wait, wait, wait,” he said, holding up his hand in defense, “that’s not true.”

  Denise exclaimed, “That’s totally true! After you go through a break-up, it’s like you never want to date again. You’re so scared of getting hurt again that you just push the idea of being in love and being happy aside all for a fifty percent chance of getting your heart broken.”

  Evan scoffed, not wanting to admit Denise was partially true. “I don’t want to bring someone in my life if I’m not ready, and I certainly don’t want you setting me up with anyone. I’ll find someone.”

  “How?” Denise asked, expecting an on-the-spot answer. “You’re an introvert. You rarely ever go out.” She turned to Nate and noticed three-fourths of his plate empty. “Here you go, baby,” she said sweetly. She leaned over, picked up a piece of lasagna with a spatula, and slid it onto Nate’s plate.

  Nate’s eyebrows furrowed and whined, “But I’m not hungry.”

  “C’mon, you didn’t have a good breakfast today. That’s a very small piece, sweetie. You need to bulk up. Don’t you want to be big and strong when you get older?” she asked, meeting his eyes.

  Nate looked down at his plate, not too happy. “Okay,” he said in a glum voice.

  “Denise, he’s only seven. What’s he bulking up for?”

  Denise turned to Evan, disregarding his comment. “Oh, don’t swerve your way around this. Where are you going to find someone, huh?”

  Evan shrugged. “A dating website? The library?” He saw the horrified expression on Denise’s face and quickly said, “Those are some of the ways of meeting people. Plus, why are you so worried about me finding someone?”

  Her eyes flicked to the garden. She used her knife and fork to cut a piece of
the lasagna. “I don’t want you to be alone,” she said with a sigh. “Take Mr. Brar, for example. He and his wife loved each other more than anyone I know and after Mrs. Brar passed away, he said something to me that I’ll never forget.”

  “What did he say?”

  “He said a life partner makes life a hundred times better. I want the same for you. I mean everyone deserves someone, especially you.”

  Denise knew the kind of guy her brother was. He was a gentleman with a soft, kind heart. He was the type of guy who would open the car door, cook dinner, buy cute little presents, and ultimately make the woman feel like a princess. Denise knew her brother would make a great husband and father one day and she knew deep down, that’s what Evan wanted too.

  Evan smiled and reached over, softly squeezing her hand. “Stop worrying. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to.” He sighed, knowing Denise’s concern was coming from a good hearted place. “I envied Mr. and Mrs. Brar’s relationship, though. They were the neighborhood lovebirds.”

  “It’s hard to be a cynic when you see a couple like that.”

  Later that evening, Denise drove down to Lake View Hospital where Ryan was admitted while Evan stayed home with Nate. The big plans Evan had for the two of them was to sit in front of the television, watch movies, and eat some of the delicious cake he’d bought from Bernie’s Bakery.

  As Denise pulled into the parking lot, it started to feel a lot like home. Sometimes Denise would come and visit Ryan during lunch and after work before she picked up Nate from the recreation program she’d enrolled him in. Or she wouldn’t go at all. Those were the days where she would cry to herself after the day at the office was over. She tried her best to keep herself from falling apart but life got the best of her at times.

  She got out of the car and felt the cold winter breeze against her face. Denise walked through the parking lot in her long beige coat, looking at the surrounding cars. There were families who were sitting in the hospital waiting room hoping for good news, or sitting by the bedside of their loved ones, hoping to take them home. For the longest time Denise felt alone in her situation. But as her visits became more frequent, she realized she wasn’t the only one going through a rough time. Other people were walking in the same shoes as her. She shivered, feeling the warmth take over as she entered through the automatic doors. The lights were bright and sharp, causing Denise to squint.