The night of the incident flashed through her mind. The conversation they’d had replayed over and over, reminding her of the words Ryan said. Sit down and watch TV with me. And every day, she wished she’d listened.
“I need some space, Denise,” Ryan answered, walking out through the front door, his hands deep in his pockets. He shivered, wearing only a short-sleeve shirt and pants, as he walked down the path.
Denise watched as he walked away, her eyes wet, her stomach was doing somersaults. She couldn’t help but think how she was to blame for all of this. If they hadn’t fought that night, if she had just sat down with Ryan that night, like she was asking right now, the accident would never happened. Ryan wouldn’t have ended up in the hospital. He wouldn’t have gone into a coma and then have his memory wiped away.
One moment, she felt she had everything she’d ever wanted. Now, it felt everything was falling apart, piece by piece.
***
Marvin sipped on some scotch on a grand leather couch across from Roy Hex, who was doing the same. They sat in Roy’s office, which was off limits to the rest of the agency with exceptions for the agents serving on the panel. Both of them exchanged only two sentences with one another. Marvin looked into his glass and made the scotch swirl.
“So,” Roy started off as he looked at Marvin with content, “is she coming back home?”
Marvin gave it a moment. “I’m trying every card in the deck. Don’t worry, she’ll come back.”
Crow’s feet were the only signs of aging on Roy’s face. He was in shape, far better than anyone in their sixties. His blue eyes sparkled as the sunlight bounced off his face. A beard he started fashioning just a few months ago covered his cheeks and chin.
When he smiled, dimples appeared on his cheeks. “Then you’re not trying hard enough. She’s an easy person to persuade. I thought you’d know since the two of you lived together for a year. Or was it more? I can’t seem to remember.”
“It was a year, sir.”
“What’s holding you back? You do remember the deal, don’t you?”
Marvin shifted in his seat, feeling cornered. “Yes, sir.”
“What’s the deal, Marvin?” he asked as he set down the scotch glass.
Marvin cleared his throat. He responded as he stared at the carpet, “If I have Shadow’s baby or get married to Shadow, I’ll be able to take over the agency once you step down.”
“I picked you out of the crowd of men here for a reason. I see potential in you but from where I’m sitting, it doesn’t seem like you really want to run the agency.”
“That’s far from the truth, sir. I love your daughter and more than anything, I want to marry her. I want to have a family with her—”
“Then what’s the holdup? Whether you love her or not, since this was a sham to begin with, you can only operate the agency if you get married to her.” He paused for a moment before he continued. “Convince her that you’re the only person in existence who will make her happy, far from what she could imagine.” He crossed his leg over the other. “I want this to be clear. I can’t hold this position open for too long. There are a few agents who are just as qualified. I can happily offer one of them the opportunity.”
Marvin pressed his hands together, pushing the tips of his fingers between his eyebrows. Hearing there were other potential suitors for this position made him uneasy. He wanted desperately to run the agency. It would make him the most powerful and feared man. No one would dare to cross him. And this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. This was his chance to make something out of himself.
“There is one problem,” he said. “She’s involved with someone else in Lake View.”
“Is it getting serious?”
“From the looks of it, I’d say yes.”
Roy leaned over to pick up his drink. “I don’t care how you do it, but get rid of the problem…permanently.”
“I have the situation in control now, sir. He won’t be problem any longer.”
“Good. And I suggest you do it soon. I already had the panel take care of your first problem. They weren’t too happy with what I asked them to do. ”
“I know, sir, and I appreciate you going out of your way to help me stall Bruce.”
Roy raised his glass.
“To making this world a better place.” Both of them took a sip of their scotch, knowing each was on the same page as the other.
***
It was late in the afternoon. Denise sat in front of the picture Ryan had been studying before storming out. It was the picture of him holding Nate for the first time. Ryan wore scrubs and had a grin from ear to ear. She could see the happiness on his face—it radiated in the picture. Tears filled her eyes knowing there was a chance Ryan would never recall this moment.
What was going to happen to their family?
The doorbell rang. Denise scattered to her feet, pressing her eyes with her thumbs so there were no signs of tear trails on her cheeks.
Nate was standing in front of the door, accompanied by Greece.
“Hey Denise,” she said as soon as Denise opened the door. Greece’s upbeat personality never seemed to die down.
Denise shook her head in disappointment and mentally smacked herself on the forehead. “They get out at 3:30 today. I totally forgot.” She sighed. She looked at Nate, who was bundled up in a jacket and scarf, mittens and boots. “I’m so sorry sweetie. I lost track of time.”
“Is everything okay, Denise?” Greece asked with concern.
“Yeah,” she forced out with a smile. The last thing she wanted was Greece over for a cup of coffee to talk about feelings. It would go on for hours and Denise simply didn’t have that kind of time on her hands. “Thank you for picking up Nate. I really appreciate it.”
“What are friends for,” she said cheekily. “If you ever need anything, or want to talk, I’m always here,” she added, flashing a smile before turning back and heading down the sidewalk.
Yeah, right.
Denise proceeded into the kitchen, where she found Nate looking over the pictures. She stood a few feet behind him.
“Are you hungry, sweetie?”
“No,” he replied, eyes still glued to the table scattered with pictures of him, from when he was a child to months back.
“What did you have for lunch?
“Pizza. Where’s Daddy?”
“Daddy went for a walk, sweetie. He should be back any minute.”
Any minute. It had been a few hours since Ryan left the house. Thinking about Ryan, Nate, and the entire family ever since Ryan woke up from his coma had mentally drained Denise. Some days, she was fine and was able to function properly. Other days, she couldn’t even remember what she had for breakfast, fifteen minutes after she’d had it.
All she wanted was to go to sleep and never wake up. This burden the universe had thrown on her, she wanted it to be done and over with.
Life wasn’t supposed to be easy, but it wasn’t supposed to be this hard either.
“What do you want for dinner?”
His back was still turned toward her.
She waited for an answer. Nothing.
“Nate, honey, what do you want for dinner? I can make spaghetti or sandwiches.”
She realized Nate was crying. Her heart dropped as she jolted forward, reeling in Nate closer to her. She cocked her head and saw tears trickling down his pink cheeks.
“Nate, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Deep down, she already knew the answer.
“Is Daddy gone again?”
As much as she wanted to fall apart and cry with Nate, she had to pull herself together for his sake. “No, honey. Daddy’s not gone. He’s here. He just needed to get some fresh air. He’ll be back.” She wrapped her arms around him as he buried his head into her shoulder.
Ryan had walked in soon enough
to hear the last bit of their conversation. He stood in the doorway, making sure not to make a sound. He leaned against the doorframe, letting out a sigh. What was he supposed to do?
Ryan made it to the kitchen, where Denise still had her arms wrapped around Nate. The sudden sound of Ryan’s footsteps startled both of them. Denise was too in tears. They looked up at Ryan for a moment.
“Come here, you guys,” he said, wrapping his arms around them. “I’m not going anywhere.”
***
It was almost half past five. Shadow walked out of the building, her purse hanging off her shoulder, feeling pretty good about herself. She scanned the parking lot before walking any farther. With a blink of an eye, she was bombarded by thoughts of Marvin. As much as she tried to fight the menace out of her mind, he had a habit of popping up. She was finally able to shake away the thought and reminded herself about what a great day she had. Most of it was spent thinking about the kiss. On several occasions she found herself trying to repress a smile as the previous night replayed in her mind.
Work life wasn’t too shabby either. The Pences were happy with the final design she’d worked on, thanks to Evan. She had landed two other big clients at the end of the day. She now had four demanding clients, which was going to keep her busy. Things were starting to turn around for Shadow. She was feeling content and powerful, something that was novel to her.
It took her a moment before she heard the loud gallop-like sound coming from behind her. She quickly turned around to find a young slender man, who wasn’t any older than twenty-one, running toward her direction. Her forehead creased in confusion. It was the same man who delivered the mail and made copies. He was also the first one before anyone else to leave but for the life of her, she couldn’t remember his name.
“Hey,” he wheezed.
“Hi,” she said, looking at him with concern. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” he said, handing her a black clasp envelope. When he tried to compose himself, his asthma kicked in. “This came in earlier and I was informed to personally hand it over to you, but then I couldn’t get a hold of you, and then I lost track of time. But, here it is. I’m giving it to you now.”
All Shadow could manage to say was “Oh-kay.”
The young man slouched over, wheezing and coughing. His eyes became watery and the veins in his forehead began to bulge.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked.
He nodded.
Shadow took a moment before she walked away, in confusion and concern. Why was this so urgent? Her pace became slower as she unclasped the hook. She pulled out photos of Evan running in the park. Her heart began to pound. The one after captured Evan at the hardware store, buying the cat door. Another picture was taken of Evan walking to the curb throwing out the trash.
The parking lot became blurry and nothing was making sense.
There were more pictures of Shadow and Evan together. One was of the two of them walking back in the rain from the park. Then there was the two of them kissing on her front porch.
Shadow felt herself standing still but everything around her seemed distorted. She could see the street, the cars parked in the parking lot. She could feel her heart begin to race. Her eyelids fluttered for a few seconds and then shut. Everything went black for a moment. The ground beneath had begun to spin. Even though cars were driving by, and a truck had passed by, the only sound she could hear was of her breathing.
This cannot be happening right now.
Shadow kneeled to the ground, pressing her hands against the cold cement wanting the pain to end. She gasped for air, feeling suffocated.
Okay, just breathe. Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale. No one is going to hurt you. He can’t hurt you. He can’t hurt you. He can’t hurt you.
Fifteen minutes later she finally gathered herself and managed to get back on her feet. The photos Marvin had of them were spread all over the parking lot. Her body trembled with fear, not really knowing what to do. She didn’t want to walk any farther but at the same time, she wanted to run.
A faint voice behind her made Shadow’s heart stop for a brief second. She sluggishly turned.
“Are you okay, Shadow?”
It was the same young man who delivered Shadow the black envelope. He looked at her, mixed with emotions. Shadow starred at him, not knowing what to say. How long had he been there?
“I woulda called the ambulance,” he continued, “but…you kept saying he’ll kill you too.” He hesitated, his brows furrowed. “Are we in danger?”
She could hear the panic in his voice, but struggled to say anything. Shadow shook her head then slowly picked up the photos off the ground, still trembling. She feared what was to come.
This was just the beginning.
***
“Hi Evan,” Venice said as she walked through the door.
Evan closed the door behind her.
“What smells so good?”
“I was making enchiladas.”
As they walked into the kitchen, Venice noticed the two plates and wine glasses set on the table.
“Dinner for two?”
Evan was in the middle of filling the enchiladas. Like always, the counter was a mess. There was cheese scattered, and little droplets of sauce around his workstation. The sink was piled with dishes but he was certainly enjoying himself.
“Yeah,” he said, taking a quick glance at Venice before bringing his focus back to the enchiladas.
Grandma Venice circled around the table as Evan’s back was faced toward her. “It looks delicious,” she replied. “Who did you invite?”
Evan craned his neck sideways, not meeting Venice’s eyes. “Shadow. I invited Shadow.”
“Oh.”
“‘Oh’? That sounded enthusiastic.”
“Actually, I came by to talk to you about Shadow.”
This time, Evan turned fully, giving Venice his undivided attention. “What about Shadow?”
“Look, Evan, I think we need to sit down and talk about this.”
His eyebrows furrowed. “Talk about what exactly?”
Venice reminded herself she was doing this for the right reason. She was saving his life, even though it didn’t seem like it right now, but by what Bruce had told her, Evan was in real danger. She pulled out a chair from the table for Evan and took a seat. “Come ,” she said, gesturing to the vacant chair.
Evan navigated toward the open seat. He sat down, with his eyebrows knitted.
“What’s going on?”
“So, there really isn’t an easy way to say this since it’s obvious you’ve invested time in this girl, but she’s dangerous.”
“How?”
Venice stayed silent for a moment. Her gaze flicked to the kitchen as her lips pursed. Her eyes met Evan’s. “Getting involved with Shadow…it’s going to get you killed.” She studied his face, looking for a reaction but Evan didn’t blink hearing the word killed. “I had a vision last night. There was a man standing over you with blood on his hands. I don’t know who it was but he killed you. You have to stay away from her, Evan.”
Her eyes brimmed with tears. Venice had to make sure Evan believed her. Otherwise, he’d start to question her and she knew better not to let Evan question her. She knew lying was never the answer but somehow in the situation she was in, it seemed like the best option.
Time was critical.
“Now all of the sudden, you have a vision of my death.” Evan looked down at his laps, fiddling with his fingers. It was making sense to Evan, even though he didn’t want to admit it. “How does this have anything to do with Shadow, though?”
“I think it’s someone from her past,” she whimpered. “I couldn’t quite figure it out, but it’s someone from her past and you’re standing in his way. I’m begging you, please,” she said as she put her palms together, “you
need cut her loose.”
“How sure are you? Are you a hundred percent sure this is going to happen?”
“I’m a hundred percent sure,” she said, reaching out for Evan’s hand.
Hesitating for a moment, Evan leaned forward and gripped Venice’s hand.
“Okay,” he said.
“Okay?”
“Okay,” he reassured her.
“Please promise me, Evan. I can’t bear to lose you.”
He placed his other hand on top of the other, reassuring her, “I promise.”
Evan hugged Grandma Venice, appreciating the concern but he knew in his gut it wasn’t possible for him to cut ties with Shadow.
“You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that.”
His response lingered with a hint of guilt. “Don’t mention it.”
***
He’s going to kill Evan and it’s going to be all my fault. Shadow sat on the bathroom floor leaning against the wall, sobbing. She had her hand laid out in front of her, holding a blade in the other. She didn’t deserve to be with Evan or to be loved by him. She reasoned with herself. She knew she wasn’t going to be able to keep herself away from Evan. He held a special place in her heart, even though it had been a short time knowing him. She would only attract danger to Evan as long as she was in the picture.
Life no longer had a meaning. It only became a burden.
Her stomach churned with anxiety and her heart bled with pain. Shadow knew this was going to hurt but the pain would go away forever. Then at last, she would finally be at peace. Marvin would no longer be able to hurt her. She would be free.
Mr. Jingles cautiously entered the bathroom, seeing something so familiar. He approached Shadow, his yellow eyes wide. He rubbed his head against Shadow’s arm, but Shadow paid no attention.
She had no will to live anymore. Everyone around her would always be in danger. What’s the point in living if I can’t have a normal life?
“I’m sorry, Mr. Jingles,” she said, choking on her sobs. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”
She tilted her head sideways, getting a blurry view of Mr. Jingles, who meowed as if he understood what she said.
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