Mr. Jingles strolled out of the bathroom, walking down the stairs. He passed the kitchen, through the new cat door, and trotted toward the fence. He looked up at the fence and jumped upward, his claws digging into the wood. He reached the top, his hind feet slowly meeting up with the rest of his body.
He leered into the glass door into Evan’s kitchen. He kept watch, finally seeing Evan enter and head for the sink. Mr. Jingles slowly proceeded to walk down the fence, jumping off a few feet away from the ground.
Mr. Jingles pranced through the mud to the cement area in front of the back door. He paced back and forth, hoping he’d get Evan’s attention.
***
Evan wiped his hands with the kitchen towel, looking over the enchiladas. There were two more left he needed to fill. Then it would be the simple task of pouring sauce and cheese over them. All he’d have left would be putting them in the oven on broil for a good seven minutes. Though he remembered the enchiladas were supposed to bake for about twenty minutes at 350 degrees, broiling would be quicker and he was becoming hungrier by the minute.
Digging into his front pocket, Evan pulled out his cell phone, checking to see if he’d received any messages from Shadow. He’d asked her to come over for dinner almost half an hour ago and received no response.
Confused, he shoved his cell phone back into his pocket. He continued to prepare the enchiladas before placing them in the oven whilst the earlier conversation he’d had with Venice settled in the back of his mind. He couldn’t stop thinking about the man in Venice’s vision.
He had blood on his hands, her voice echoed as he filled one enchilada. Blood.
Grandma Venice’s voice went in and out. Strange man. It’s someone from her past.
Evan very well knew this strange man in Venice’s vision was Shadow’s ex but it still wasn’t going to stop Evan from seeing Shadow.
***
Mr. Jingles pawed at the glass door, head shifting side to side, wondering how he was supposed to get Evan to look over. His instincts were telling him something horrible was going to happen and knowing how Shadow acted when Evan was around, maybe there was something Evan could do. Even though he was just a feline, he was able to sense these kinds of things. When something was off, something was off.
Mr. Jingles kept a close eye on Evan, who still managed to keep his back turned. Impatient, Mr. Jingles began to howl.
Evan’s head jerked sideways toward the kitchen window. Evan carefully listened to the trail of the cry, looking out the window seeing nothing but his backyard. Yet the cry had become louder.
Mr. Jingles spotted Evan peering out the window then stood on all fours. He began to pace back and forth, his eyes still focused on Evan. The movement caught Evan’s eye. He wiped his hands on a towel and proceeded toward the glass door.
The moment Evan opened the door, Mr. Jingles entered and headed toward the front door, wasting no time. Halfway across, Mr. Jingles looked back to see if Evan was following his lead. Evan stood in confusion. Eventually he followed Mr. Jingles. Once Mr. Jingles was at the front door, he meowed as he looked up at Evan. Open the door. You have to save her.
From basic intuition, Evan opened the front door, letting Mr. Jingles out. Evan stood in the doorway as Mr. Jingles began to trek toward his home. Less than halfway, Mr. Jingles stopped in his tracks and looked behind him to make sure Evan was following. But he wasn’t. Again he meowed.
“You want me to come with you?”
Mr. Jingles meowed again.
Not sure what to think of this, Evan closed the door behind him and walked behind Mr. Jingles, still perplexed.
Once they reached the porch, Evan pushed the doorbell, sliding his hands into his pockets. He stood there wondering why Mr. Jingles had come to take him to Shadow’s home. As they waited, Mr. Jingles stood on his feet with his front paws pressed against the window, peering in. The shades had been turned.
Evan took one look at Mr. Jingles’ behavior, feeling as if it was odd. Evan knocked, starting to feel anxious. Mr. Jingles paced back and forth, wide eyed. He began to cry, just like he had done before.
“Shadow, open the door!” he shouted, feeling uneasy.
His gut urged the suggestion something horrible was about to take place. He couldn’t help but to think it had something to do with Shadow’s ex.
***
Shadow sat in her bathroom, tears running down her cheeks, listening to Evan’s shouts from upstairs. He couldn’t help her. Even if he attempted to, he’d get himself killed or Marvin would mentally torture Evan just like he was doing to Shadow. That was no way to live a life with Marvin in the picture. And she certainly didn’t want to put him through that. Evan didn’t deserve a life full of misery. She pressed the blade against her wrist knowing this would end it all.
“Shadow! Listen to me,” he yelled in a panic, “you’ve got to trust me when I say this. I will not let anything happen to you. That’s my promise to you. You have to trust me. Please open the door and we can talk about what’s going on. Just please…open the door.” He pressed his head against the door, shifting from scenario to scenario.
His mind jumped to the cat door he’d installed. Evan ran past the window and peered over the fence, on a slight tiptoe. Instantaneously, he remembered he’d hinged the door from the inside, rather from the outside, which meant one thing; it would be impossible to unhook the door and enter. He walked back to the front of the door.
“Okay, that’s fine. If you don’t want to open the door, I’ll just call the police. They’ll be here in three minutes and you’re going to have to answer questions. I know you don’t want to do that.”
Evan pulled out his cell phone, ready to dial.
***
Blood poured out, trickling down from the sides of her wrist. She let out a long sigh of relief. But that didn’t last. She continued to hear Evan’s voice ring in her head. His persistent pounding continued to nag at her, with each pound seemingly getting louder and louder. With haste, Shadow surged to her feet, feeling dizzy.
She climbed down the stairs, pressing her wrist against her side. After taking the last step, she wiped away the tears and abruptly opened the door. There stood Evan, frantic, with his fist midway in the air.
Slowly putting his hand down, he gathered the view before him.
Shadow’s eyes were lined with redness, her cheeks flushed. He hadn’t seen someone in so much pain.
“If you don’t stop harassing me, I’ll call the cops on you.”
The words went through one ear and flushed through the other. He studied her face, her stance, the way her right arm seemed tenser than the left. Everything around him became dead silent. Her lips continued to move but he heard nothing. Evan’s eyes flicked back to Shadow’s right arm. Still, it seemed tense, palm formed into a fist. The red that began to seep into her beige skirt caught his attention.
Without giving it another thought, Evan lunged forward and took her hand, facing the bleeding palm upward.
His eyes, filled with fury, met hers.
“What the hell are you doing, Shadow?!”
She said nothing. Even though she no longer wanted to feel any kind of emotion, oddly enough, she felt the disappointment and anger from Evan.
Mr. Jingles looked up at Shadow. He knew she’d been through more than she could handle. Loving her was his duty. Five years ago, he was once an abandoned kitten on the street in the middle of the night. He knew what lonesome felt like. That specific night, hunger for food had exceed hours and when he felt fear overcome his mind, Shadow picked him up during her evening walk and pressed his tiny body against her soft and warm neck. Suddenly, his racing heart had become steadier and his cry for help faded.
She rescued him. Now it was his turn.
Mr. Jingles he walked back into his home, his body grazed against her legs, knowing Evan would one day take his place to l
ove and keep her safe.
Evan firmly grasped her other arm, as he closed the door behind them.
“C’mon,” he said, tugging on her arm, leading her back to his place.
“Let go of me!” she protested.
Evan continued to ignore as Shadow tried to struggle free.
***
Shadow sat on the toilet seat cover as Evan pulled out the first aid kit.
Evan kneeled down in front of her, observing how deep the cut was. Luckily Shadow had just missed the artery. He held a towel under her arm as he poured rubbing alcohol over the cut, stinging Shadow to the core. She winced.
“I forgot to mention it was going to sting,” he said through gritted teeth.
He wrapped the ends of the towel over the cut and pressed against the cut as he singlehandedly opened the big bandage. Removing the towel, Evan placed the beige bandage over her cut, rubbing it back and forth, making sure it was secure. Over it he wrapped around a white PowerFlex bandage, making sure it was just tight enough that it didn’t block the blood flow but secure enough to prevent any further bleeding.
“Okay, that should do it,” he said, clipping the end, running his hand over to make sure the ends stuck to one another. His eyes roved to hers. She looked up and met his and this was the first time she’d seen worry, fear, and anger in someone else’s eyes. But it was all formed in a different kind of way. It was because he cared. She looked away, feeling embarrassed and weak.
Chapter 17
They sat on the sofa with their dinner plates in hand. Evan had his feet up on the coffee table, and Shadow was curled up on the couch as her plate rested on her thighs. It had been a silent dinner. But in their minds, their thoughts about the last hour ate at them. Neither of them wanted to dissect what happened yet could sense the situation still lingering over their heads and feeling the need to address it.
Evan leaned forward, reaching for his glass of Coke. After he took a sip, he cocked his neck sideways, getting Shadow’s attention.
She was just about to take another bite, but she could knew what was coming—the dreaded question.
“Why?”
Clearing her throat, she put her fork down on her plate.
She adjusted her position, getting a better view of Evan’s face. “It’s the only way to end the pain.”
Evan looked away, bringing his focus to the coffee table and then back to his glass of Coke. One of the tiny bubbles that formed against the edge of the glass popped. He took a deep breath and looked back at Shadow.
“What problem is it going to solve?” he asked softly.
Shadow took a breath, wanting to give him an explanation, but then said nothing. She bit her lower lip with uncertainty.
“It doesn’t solve anything. Even though it’s your own life and you can do whatever the hell you want…suicide’s not going to solve anything. It’s only going to hurt the people that love you.”
“I guess I haven’t made it clear then. I don’t have anyone in my life that cares enough—”
“That’s a load of bull,” Evan said, cutting her off. He set his unfinished plate on the coffee table and sprung off the couch. He ran his fingers through his hair, looking everywhere but at Shadow. “The last time I was that terrified was when I found out my dad died. I was only four and I realized I didn’t have any of my parents anymore. They were gone and they were never coming back. And today, I thought the same thing was going to happen again. I don’t know how I fell in love with you, I wasn’t expecting to, but I did.” Tears shimmered in his eyes. “I know it’s selfish of me to talk about what I’ve lost, but you…I can’t lose you. Protecting you has crossed my mind so many times for different reasons, but loving you? I don’t have a reason for falling in love with you.” Evan unconsciously ran his fingers through his hair again, feeling weight being lifted off his shoulders mixed with anxiety about what was to come next.
This wasn’t the way he’d imagined telling Shadow that he was in love with her.
“Well,” she said, her eyes flicking to her plate, not knowing what the right response was. Memories of the past came flooding back. She took a moment before she spoke. “I think it’s best that we keep our distance. It’ll be better for the both of us.”
Her eyes brimmed with tears.
“Why? Give me a good enough reason.”
“Okay,” she said, placing her dinner plate on top of the table. She looked at him dead in the eyes and started, “My ex-fiancé is a secret agent. He works for a non-existent organization—and when I say non-existent, I mean that no one knows that it exists, literally. He tortures and kills people for a living. He’s been keeping an eye on the both of us. He’s been blackmailing me with pictures of you, me, and us and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. As long as I’m anywhere near you, he’s going to come after you and you don’t want that, Evan. I don’t want that.”
Shadow arose from the couch saddened.
Evan studied her as the earlier conversation he had with Venice ran through his mind.
“What if I told you that I already knew that?” he said with a faded smile. “I mean, I didn’t know about the whole secret agent stuff, but I knew getting involved with you would probably get me killed.”
“What? How?”
“This is gonna sound ridiculous,” he began. “Well…my grandma is a psychic. She had a vision about what was lying ahead for me. But she’s not always right about these things.”
Shadow let it register in her mind before she continued. “Did she say anything else?”
“No, that was about it,” he said, leaving out the part about not seeing Shadow again.
“Wow. There’s just a lot of information for one day. It seems like today is a first for everything, huh?” she said, looking up at him, mainly thinking about what he’d said earlier. She paused for a moment. The thought made her curious. “Why do you want to be a part of my life? I don’t understand it. Especially since it can get you killed.”
Evan sat back on the couch and looked at Shadow seriously. His heart was racing. “You probably don’t believe it and I don’t expect you to because of everything you’ve been through, but I love you. You have this aura that pulls me in. All I want to do is be there with you and give you everything you could ever imagine or at least try to.”
Shadow was taken aback by Evan’s answer. Everything felt unreal, as if Shadow and Evan were merely just actors in a romantic movie. She moved back to the couch. “I…I don’t know what to say,” she said softly. Memories of Evan flashed through her mind. A part of her felt guilty for not sharing what she knew. She didn’t deserve him. “You are a crazy man.”
Evan chuckled but deep down, he wondered if Shadow felt the same way about him. Truthfully, he wanted to hear her say those words but it wasn’t something that happened overnight, which begged the question: Why had he fallen in love so quickly? Was it a psychological way of fixing what he’d done to her in their previous life? Or was it because he really was in love with Shadow, for who she was?
He shook away the thoughts. His brows knitted in a frown as his eyes lingered on the white bandage wrapped around Shadow’s wrist.
“How many times have you…” His voice trailed off.
Shadow directed her attention to where Evan’s eyes were focused. “Today was the first time I actually went through with it,” she admitted. Times of the past came flashing by when she sat and cried wanting to end her life. Her eyes welled up with pain.
As hard as she tried to keep her emotions in control, she broke down right there, in front of Evan. Shadow let her head sulk close to her chest. Her shoulders became stiff and before she moved to wipe away her tears, Evan wiped them away for her. He pulled her in close, and wrapped his arm around her.
He kissed Shadow on top of her forehead.
“I’m not going to let him hurt you anymore,” he whispered.
She slid her arm around his waist as she rested her head on his chest. This was where she felt the safest.
Evan ran his hand through her hair while his mind lingered to what he’d done in his previous life. He wanted to share that with Shadow but so far there hadn’t been the perfect time. He couldn’t do it now because Shadow was in a fragile state and when they were having a good time, he didn’t want to ruin the moment. The more he thought about it, the more it felt like it was better left unsaid. At the same time, he didn’t want to keep anything from her either.
“You’re so beautiful inside and out. I don’t know why anyone would want to hurt you like this.”
Shadow pulled away, and met his gaze. She thought about what he said for a moment.
“I read something online once and it kinda struck me: Sometimes we pay for the sins we don’t remember.” She let out an exasperated sigh. “I probably hurt someone in a previous life and maybe I’m paying for it now.” Her mind jumped to the snippets of what she remembered. “It’s my karmic debt, I guess. I started doing a lot of research on it after everything in my life stopped making sense to me.”
Evan studied Shadow, impressed by the fact Shadow believed in karma, more so that she had poured herself into research. But she didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve to be emotionally blackmailed to live her life in constant fear. Not in this life or in the previous one. Understanding karma was hard. It only made sense to someone who knew the whole story, which neither of them did.
He shook his head in disagreement. “But you don’t deserve this. Not at all,” he said as he peered into her eyes.
“Yeah, well, the universe disagrees.”
Shadow sighed. “I should get going. Thank you for dinner. The enchiladas were really tasty.”
“Absolutely.” On cue, Evan rose to his feet. “Let me walk you home,” he said, offering his hand.
The slightest smile came across her face and just as quickly, it faded away.
The night had set in hours ago. The sky now filled with stars and galaxies. They walked hand in hand, quietly down the sidewalk. The shadows created by the streetlights walked farther and farther away, creating an elongated image of two people holding hands, each of them deeply hoping this night had started off differently.
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