Breaking Matthew

by Jennifer H. Westall

  When I got to the bottom drawer, I found an envelope buried beneath several folders. I rifled through the folders, pausing when I reached the last one and found two groups of documents with my name on them. They weren’t withdrawals from my bank account though. In fact, I wasn’t certain exactly what they were. But from the language on the documents, I could swear these were land deeds in my name. I hadn’t bought a single piece of property in my life. How did my name get on these? I turned to the last page in each group, and there on the line for the purchaser’s signature, was my name, just as if I’d signed it myself. But I’d never seen it before.

  “Well, Father,” I muttered to myself. “What are you up to?”

  I set the deeds aside and pulled out a booklet from the envelope that had been underneath the folders. It was another ledger. But as I looked through it, I didn’t recognize the names. Each name had a symbol beside it with an amount listed beside that. Some were marked out, some had amounts subtracted beneath the original amount. I turned the page and found even more. And then I saw several entries by the name Robert Paschal.

  I copied a few of the entries onto a sheet of paper, wondering if it was money Father owed to people. If so, then it was clear he was deeply in debt. And over twenty thousand of it was to Vanessa’s father alone. What was he thinking?

  I returned everything to its place, except for the two deeds. Those I took with me. If I was right, and this was land in my name, then I’d just have to beat Father at his own game. I was going to pay a little visit to the Building and Loan the next morning.

  Chapter Twelve

  Ruby

  After I told Matthew everything, I tossed and turned all night. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d just sold Samuel down the river. At the time, I’d felt relieved to share the truth so I wouldn’t feel so alone. But as the night wore on, my conscience wrestled with the terrible burden I’d placed on Matthew’s shoulders. Could I trust him to keep his word?

  So I wasn’t too surprised the next morning when he didn’t come by to visit me. It was the first day since I’d been locked up that not a single soul appeared at my cell. The quiet of the morning worked on my mind, sending it to all sorts of awful places. What if I was never free again? What if the jury found me guilty and sentenced me to the chair?

  I could deal with the idea of death. God and I had come to an understanding when I was running from that tornado. No, it wasn’t death I feared. It was the pain that would come before death that set my stomach on edge.

  Sometime after dinner, the door to the lobby opened, and Asa and Mother came in to see me. I was so happy to see them, I nearly ran across the cell.

  “Mother, Asa, what are you both doing here today? I thought you weren’t coming back until Thursday.”

  “I told them to meet me here so they could pick you up,” Matthew said from the doorway. He strode over to my cell with a huge smile on his face. The sheriff followed behind him with a set of keys dangling.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  “You’re going home. Your bond’s been paid.”

  “What?” I stepped back from the door and looked from one happy face to the next. Then I landed on Matthew. “Didn’t you hear a thing I said before? I can’t accept your money.”

  “Well thankfully, the fine county of Cullman has no problem accepting my money.”

  He looked so proud of himself. He hadn’t understood anything. “Matthew, I can’t. Please don’t force this on me.”

  His smile faded, and he turned to Asa. “Would you please talk some sense into her? I know that’s asking a lot, but would you please try?”

  “Ruby, honey,” Asa said. “Take a moment and think about what you’re doing. God is providing for your needs. Who are you to decide that it’s not good enough? Be mindful of your pride. Matthew cares for you, and God has given you a friend in your corner who has the means to help you. Don’t dismiss that help so carelessly.”

  I let out a deep sigh. “You mean the world to me. And I understand what you’re saying. I just don’t think it’s wise for me to be indebted to others. Even if they are friends, and even if their intentions are noble. God already provided for my needs at the church service on Sunday. His provision is enough.”

  Matthew’s head dropped between his shoulders. “There’s just no getting through to you.”

  Footsteps echoed in the empty cell room, and I turned to see Sheriff Peterson coming toward us followed by Mr. Oliver. The sheriff stuck a key in the cell door and gave it a turn.

  “Well, everything’s in order,” he said. “You can’t leave the county, but you’re free to go home until the trial.”

  “I’m not leaving,” I said.

  Sheriff Peterson looked at me like I was mad. Then he looked over at Mr. Oliver. “Did I miss something?”

  Matthew raised his head to regard the older man. “Can I talk to Ruby alone for a minute? We just need to get some things straightened out.”

  “Sure,” the sheriff said, leading the others back out to the office.

  As Matthew came into my cell, I realized it was the first time in weeks we weren’t separated by bars. I took a few steps back and steeled myself. “You aren’t going to change my mind.”

  “I know. Believe me, I haven’t forgotten who I’m dealing with. But I have something to say, and I wanted to say it without the others present. So just listen to me for a minute, all right?”

  “All right.”

  “First, can I ask just why you’re so set against me? Maybe if you explain to me why you can’t accept my help, I can find a way to be your friend without making you mad at me all the time.”

  Rocking on my heels, I tried to think of an answer that made sense. “I already explained. I can’t be indebted to you. It makes me…”

  “What?”

  “…Vulnerable.”

  He took a step toward me, and my stomach took a dip. “I swear, Ruby. I ain’t never gonna hurt you again.”

  I dropped my gaze to the floor. I couldn’t look at him. I’d lose myself in loving him again, and I’d wind up right back where I was before.

  “Look,” he said, closing the gap a bit more. “Do I owe you anything for helping me when I was sick?”

  I shook my head.

  “Remember the day you saved me? When I was dying, and you ran for Asa?”

  I did remember. I’d been desperate. If I’d lost him…

  “You wouldn’t let me give up, Ruby. I was ready to die. But you wouldn’t give up on me. And I ain’t giving up on you now. Let me help you. This ain’t about keeping score, or you being indebted to me. You’re afraid I’ll let you down again. But I’m telling you, Ruby, I’m right here. I ain’t going nowhere.”

  I shook my head and took another step back, doing everything I could to keep my breathing steady. “I’m not afraid.”

  “So what is it then? You’re the only one allowed to help people? You can pour every ounce of yourself out for others, but can’t nobody help you? Especially me, right? ’Cause I messed up. ’Cause I made a mistake over four years ago that you can’t forgive.”

  My whole body was shaking. Why’d he have to stand so close to me? He took my hand and ran his thumb over my palm. “Come on. Let’s get out of here and start making things right again. Please.”

  I studied his hand, memorized the warmth of it. I let myself look up into his eyes, and I wondered for one tiny second, what it would be like to kiss him. I was such a stupid girl.

  “All right,” I said, pulling my hand away from his. “I’ll accept your help this time. And…I forgive you.”

  His face lit up, and he pulled me into a hug so hard, I could barely breathe. Unable to stop the nervous laugh that escaped me, I wrapped my arms around him too. He pulled my shoulders back and laughed as well.

  “Holy moly!” he said. “Did I just win an argument with you?”

  “Don’t get used to it.”

  He threw his arm over my shoulder and guided me toward the cell door
. My heart still raced, despite my desperate attempt to control it. I knew this feeling too well, like the ground had suddenly been snatched away, and I was falling toward oblivion. But this time was worse. So much worse. Because I wasn’t a little girl with a crush anymore. I was a grown woman, and I was in love with Matthew Doyle all over again.

  Matthew treated all of us to a late lunch at the Busy Bee Café, my favorite place for a hamburger. It was after the dinner rush, so it wasn’t too crowded, but the ten people or so inside all stopped eating and stared at me when I came though the door. Every single one of them.

  I tried to pretend like I didn’t notice. I walked over to the booth near the windows and took a seat beside Matthew. I could tell Mother had noticed too. She made eye contact with me to check if I was all right. I smiled to let her know I was.

  The table next to ours had a newspaper on it, and the bold headline across the top said: “New evidence in Calhoun murder points to co-conspirator; police searching for suspect.”

  I hadn’t heard anything about that, so I reached for the paper. Matthew grabbed my other arm and pulled me tight against him. “Don’t do that. Trust me. It’s all garbage.”

  “Do they really think that? About the co-conspirator?”

  Matthew looked around at all of us and lowered his voice. “Mr. Oliver thinks the prosecutor will try to show that you went into the barn with the intent to kill Chester in order to cover up your relationship with a…well, with a colored boy.”

  “How could they even come up with that theory?” I asked. “That’s completely ridiculous!”

  “Probably from the Calhouns,” Mother said. “They’re talking to the paper, riling people up about you being friends with coloreds, and that you’re conspiring to start a rebellion against the laws that keep them separate from us.”

  I didn’t know what to say. “When did this turn into a circus?”

  Mother reached across the table and covered my hand with hers. “Let’s not waste our energy on the fools around here who believe everything they read in a newspaper. Let’s focus on the positives. You’re finally out of that horrible cell, and we can spend the next week getting ready. We’ve got a nice little sofa you can stay on until all this is cleared up.”

  “No, Mother. I want to stay where I am, at Ms. Harmon’s place with the other girls. I’ll be fine there.”

  Mother’s smile faded. “That shameful woman told us to get your things out of her house the day after you were arrested. I’m so sorry, honey.”

  With Ms. Harmon kicking me out, the newspaper making me out to be a murderer, and everyone staring at me like I was a sideshow at a carnival, I wondered how I was ever going to turn this around. Would I lose my job with Dr. Fisher as well? Who would want a criminal tending to them?

  I reckon Matthew saw the dismay on my face, ’cause he patted my hand. “It’s better for you to be with family right now anyway.”

  I put on my best smile for the rest of our meal, but I’d lost my appetite. I only half ate my hamburger, and it didn’t taste nearly as good as it usually did. Matthew paid the bill and walked us out to Asa’s truck. The joy of my getting out of jail had left us pretty quick. I hugged Matthew and thanked him again for his generosity.

  “Don’t even think about it ever again,” he said. “I mean it.”

  Asa climbed into the truck, and Mother called for me to come get in. I realized Matthew was holding my hand.

  “Why don’t I drive you?” he said. “I’m heading that way anyway, and then you three wouldn’t have to squeeze into that old truck.”

  I looked over at Mother, who gave me a small smile. “All right. We’ll see you two at the house.”

  She got into the truck, and Asa waved as they drove past us. I followed Matthew over to his car behind the cafe. The sickness in my stomach from earlier had been replaced with butterflies. Maybe everyone else in the county thought I was a cold-hearted killer, among other things, but Matthew believed in me. And maybe that was enough.

  He pulled open the passenger door and held my hand again as I stepped up into the car. I noticed the back seat was full of luggage, and my heart dropped. He came around and opened his door.

  “Where are you going?” I asked.

  He looked at me funny and chuckled. “To your Mother and Asa’s place. Right?”

  I tipped my head to motioned toward the back. “No, I mean this. Your bags are packed. Are you going to Nashville or something?”

  Closing the door, he turned and looked at me. “Do you really want me to go?”

  I fidgeted with my hands in my lap. I knew the best answer would be “Yes.” But the truth was much more complicated. “I want you to do what’s best for you. I want you to be happy.”

  “That almost sounded like an answer, but you know, it really wasn’t. Do you want me to go?”

  “Do you want to go? I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

  He sighed and dropped his head onto his hands as they gripped the steering wheel. “Ruby, I ain’t going to Nashville. That’s over. I don’t even want those jobs anymore. I done told you, I ain’t leaving you.” He turned to faced me. “I’m going to be here with you, going through this with you, the whole time.”

  A blush crept up my neck and cheeks. “Thank you.”

  He smiled before turning back to the wheel and starting the car. As he pulled out into the street and headed for Hanceville, I realized he hadn’t answered my question. “Wait a minute, so what is the luggage for?”

  Matthew explained that he’d been fighting with his daddy so much, he’d finally moved in with his brother. “Besides,” he said. “It made it a little easier to come see you every day.”

  “You didn’t have to do that,” I said. But deep down, I was so grateful he had. I had to admit that his visits gave me something to look forward to each day.

  “Anyway,” he said, “I figured with you getting out and moving back to Hanceville with your family, I’d go back and stay with my parents. If I do a good job of avoiding Father, I’m sure I can keep my sanity until your trial is over.”

  “You never know what could happen. You should work things out with him while you still can.”

  He stared at the road in front of him, saying nothing for a solid minute. “My family ain’t like yours, Ruby. Your father loved you, and you always knew that. You could trust him, and you loved him as much as he loved you.”

  “Your family is full of love! I’ve seen it myself. Your mother loves you, and Mary adores you. I don’t know your daddy as well, but I’m sure he loves you too. You should have seen how upset he was when you were sick.”

  Matthew swallowed hard. “He don’t really love me, Ruby. He just wants to control me. There’s a difference.”

  “All fathers are hard to get along with. Mine was, for sure. But I know your daddy loves you. And even if you two disagree, you need to try to find some common ground. Trust me. When he’s gone, you’ll regret all the disagreements.”

  He shook his head, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel. “You don’t know him. And frankly, I’m starting to realize that I don’t either. He isn’t a good man, Ruby.”

  He looked over at me with anguished eyes, and I wished I could help him see the power of forgiveness. His daddy was difficult—I’d experienced his forceful personality a few times—but I’d witnessed his anguish when Dr. Fisher had told the family that Matthew had only weeks to live. For whatever reason, Mr. Doyle kept his love locked up tight, but it was definitely there.

  The rest of the ride to Asa’s and Mother’s house was quiet and uneventful, so I spent it praying for Matthew and for the trials ahead. I knew that I wasn’t the only one about to face hard times, and I prayed God would strengthen all of us.

  As soon as Matthew pulled his car down the dirt road that led to the property, I could tell something was wrong. Mother was standing in the yard, waving her arms around as she talked to Asa, who knelt beside something in the ground. Matthew pulled up beside Asa�
�s truck, and I jumped out of the car.

  “What’s wrong?” I said as I approached Mother.

  She was crying, and could barely form a sentence. “Those…animals!”

  Matthew knelt beside Asa, and I went to see what they were looking at. It was a small wooden cross, like the kind graves were marked with. Only this one was sticking out of the front yard. A small piece of paper was nailed to it.

  I tried to read it, but Matthew yanked it out of the ground and threw it across the yard. “If they want a fight, then they’re going to get one.”

  “What did that say?” I asked.

  “Nothing!”

  Asa stood and turned to me, placing his hands on my shoulders. “Ruby, let’s get your mother inside and calm her down. Everything’s going to be all right.”

  “Look,” Matthew said. “I have my things in the car. I can stay here, and you and I can take shifts keeping watch.”

  “That isn’t necessary,” Asa said. “I’m sure this is just to frighten us.”

  “You think so?” Matthew yelled. “It’s working!”

  This was too much. “What did the paper say?” I screamed at them.

  Matthew and Asa stared blankly at me, so I stomped across the yard and picked up the cross.

  “Ruby, don’t,” Matthew called.

  “Don’t tell me what to do!”

  I looked down at the small piece of paper and read:

  “Here lies Ruby Graves

  A young woman who never

  Learned her lesson…

  1917-1936”

  My stomach swam, and I felt the earth shift beneath me. I might’ve fallen right over if Matthew hadn’t come beside me and put his arm around my waist.

  “No one’s gonna hurt you ever again, I swear.”

  “You got that right,” Mother said. She’d marched over to us and was standing in front of me with her fists on her hips. “I’ll tell you right now, if that good-for-nothing Klan wants to play like this, then they got another thing coming to them. I think it’s time they got a dose of the Kellum clan!”