Passion's Promise

by Danielle Steel

  “How old are you now?”

  “Thirty-six.”

  “You don’t look it.” She was surprised.

  “Maybe not, querida, but I sure as hell feel it.” He laughed his soft velvety laugh, and the warm Mexican eyes danced. “Some days I feel eighty.”

  “I know what you mean. Alejandro …” Her face grew serious.

  “What, babe?” He thought he knew what was coming.

  “You think Luke’s okay?”

  “In what way?” Oh God, don’t let her ask. He couldn’t tell her. Luke had to do that himself, if he hadn’t already … but he should have by now.

  “I don’t know. He’s so … well … so bold, I guess that’s the right word. He just does what he does and that’s it. I worry about his parole, about his safety, his life, everything. But he doesn’t seem to.” She wasn’t looking at him and he watched her hands; they were nervous and taut, playing games with her pen.

  “No, he doesn’t worry about his parole, or his ass, or much of anything. That’s just Luke.”

  “Do you think he’s going to get his ass in a jam one day? Like maybe killed?” She couldn’t help thinking of Morrissey. Her eyes came back to him, full of questions, and fear.

  “If he has problems, Kezia, he’ll tell us.”

  “Yeah. The day before the ceiling comes down.” She had learned that much about him. He never said a word till the last minute, about anything. “He doesn’t give one much warning.”

  “No, Kezia. He doesn’t. That’s just his way.”

  “One has to respect it, I suppose.”

  He nodded very quietly, and wanted to reach out and touch her hand. But he couldn’t. All he could do was talk to Luke. He thought it was time.

  “And that, my friend, ought to finish the story. Thank you.” With a sigh, she sat back in the chair in Alejandro’s office. It had been a long day. They’d been talking for hours.

  “You think you’ve got it all?” He looked pleased. She was fun to work with. Lucas was one hell of a lucky man, and he knew it.

  “All, and then some. Can I lure you downtown for dinner? You ought to have something to make up for my picking your brain all afternoon.”

  He smiled at the thought. “I don’t know about that. Hell, Kezia, if you get us some decent publicity for this place, it might change a lot of things. Community acceptance, if nothing else. That’s been one of our biggest problems. They hate us worse up here than they do at City Hall. We get it at both ends.”

  “It really seems like that.”

  “Maybe your story will change the trend.”

  “I hope so, love. I really hope so. So, what about dinner?”

  “You’re on. I’d take you to dinner up here, but Lucas would kill us both. I don’t think he wants you hanging around this part of town.”

  “Snob.”

  “No, for once in his life he’s using his head. Kezia, he’s right. Don’t just come up here like it’s the cool thing to do. It isn’t. It’s dangerous. Very.”

  She was amused at their collective concern. The two tough guys protecting the delicate flower. “Okay, okay. I get the message. I got a whole speech from Luke on the phone. He wanted me to come up here today in a limo.” She laughed.

  “Did your’ Alejandro’s eyes grew wide. Talk about heat from the neighborhood!

  “Of course not, you ass. I came up by subway.” He answered her laugh with his own. They had fallen into the easy banter and jovial insults of friends, and she was glad. He was a very appealing man. Deeply sensitive, and at the same time fun. Above all, what struck her again about him was his kindness. And he was right about her too. Her past was a part of her life. The grandeur, the money … running away from it wouldn’t solve anything. She was tempted to with Luke, but that wouldn’t do it. She was Kezia Saint Martin and he was Lucas Johns and they loved each other. He couldn’t become another Whit, and she was no street girl. They had come from different places and met when the time was right. But now what? What about the future? She hadn’t figured that one out yet. She hadn’t figured that out at all. And maybe neither had Luke.

  “Hey, Kezia, tell you what … how about dinner down in the Village?”

  “Italian?” It was all she ever ate with Luke, and pasta was coming out of her ears. She had cooked spaghetti for him the night before.

  “No. Fuck Italian. That’s Luke’s trip. Spanish! I know a great place.” She laughed at him and shook her head.

  “Don’t you guys ever eat hamburgers or hot dogs or steak?”

  “No way. Right about now I’d sell my soul for a burrito. You don’t know what it does to a Mexican to live in this town. Everything’s kosher or pizza.” He made a face and she laughed again as she followed him out.

  “Tell the truth. It’s fantastic, isn’t it?” She had settled on a tostada while he ate paella.

  “I’ve got to admit, it’s not bad. And it’s a change from fettuccine.”

  “This place is run by a Mexican bandit, and his old lady’s from Madrid. Great combination.”

  She smiled and sipped at her wine. It had been a nice evening. She enjoyed Alejandro’s company and it took the edge off her yearning for Luke. All she wanted to do was go home and wait for his call.

  “Kezia …” Alejandro seemed to hesitate.

  “Yeah?”

  “You’re good for him. You’re the best thing he’s ever had. But do me a favor …” He paused again.

  “What, love?” How she liked this funny Mexican man. He cared so much about everything. The kids at his center, his friends, and especially Luke. And now her.

  “Please don’t get hurt. He lives a hard life. It’s a long way from home for you. Lucas is a gambler. He plays and he pays. But if he loses … you’ll pay too. Through the teeth, kid—worse than anything you know.”

  “Yeah. I know.” They sat silent for a moment in the light of the candle on their table, and thought their own thoughts.

  And when Alejandro took her home, Luke was waiting for her in the living room.

  “Lucas!” She ran into his arms and was instantly swept off the ground. “Oh darling, you’re home!”

  “You’d better believe it! And what’s this lecherous Mexican bandit doing with my woman?” But there was no fear in his eyes, only delight at having Kezia in his arms again.

  “We did the interview today.” Her words were muffled as she buried her face in his chest. She held him as tightly as a child would, clutching all her security in those arms, in those shoulders, in that man.

  “I wondered where you were. I got home two hours ago.”

  “You did?” She looked more childlike than ever, the days of worry slipping away from her like rain. Alejandro stood by and watched the scene with a smile. “We had dinner at a nice little Spanish place in the Village.”

  “Oh God, he took you to that place? How bad is the heartburn?”

  She grinned up at him again as she slid out of her shoes and stretched, a look of mischief coming to her eyes. Lucas was home and he was safe!

  “Not bad. And it was lovely. Alejandro is very good to me.

  “Best dude I know.” Lucas sprawled on the couch with an appreciative look toward his friend, who was getting ready to leave them.

  “Don’t you want some coffee, Alejandro?”

  “Nope, I’ll leave you lovebirds alone.”

  “Smart man, Al. She has some packing to do anyway. We’re leaving for Chicago in the morning.”

  “We are? Oh Lucas, I love you! How long are we staying?” This time she wanted to know how long they had.

  “How about till Thanksgiving?” He looked at her happily through half-closed eyes.

  “Together? Three weeks? Lucas, you’re crazy! How can I stay away that long? The column …” Oh shit.

  “You do it in the summer, don’t you?” She nodded.

  “Yeah, but I cover things over there, and there’s no one here in the summer.” He laughed, and she looked a question into his eyes.

 
“What’s so funny?”

  “The way you say ‘no one.’ Can’t you cover a couple of posh posh parties in Chicago?”

  “Yeah. I guess I could.” And she wanted to go. Oh God, how she wanted to go!

  “Then why don’t you? And maybe I can wind things up there in less than three weeks. There’s no reason why I can’t work out of New York. What the hell … and all I really need is a week there to work out some things. I can commute, if I have to.”

  “Could we both commute?” Her eyes were filled with stars.

  “Sure we could, Mama. The two of us. I made up my mind on the plane coming back here tonight. I told you it would never be like that last stint again, and it won’t be. I can’t stand it without you.”

  “Lucas, my love, I adore you.” She bent quickly to kiss him.

  “Then take me to bed. Good night, Alejandro.”

  Their friend chuckled to himself as he let himself out. Lucas was asleep before she turned the lights out. She looked at him, sound asleep on his side. Lucas Johns. Her man. The hub of her life. And here she was, following him from town to town like a gypsy. It was fun, she loved it, but she knew that sooner or later she’d have to make some decisions … the column … she hadn’t been to a party in weeks … and now she was off to Chicago … and what then? But at least Lucas was with her. And safe. Who cared about parties? She had been afraid for his life.

  Chapter 20

  “Kezia, when are you coming back?”

  She had been on the phone long-distance to Edward in New York for over half an hour. “Probably some time next week. I’m still working on that story out here.” And she had appeared at two social galas, but it was harder out here. This wasn’t her town. It took a lot more research to come up with the dirt. “Besides, darling, I’m enjoying Chicago.” That confirmed the worst of his suspicions. She sounded so happy. And she was not the sort to be thrilled by Chicago; it was not her milieu. Too Midwest, too American, too Sears Roebuck, and not enough of the rarefied air of Bergdorf’s and Bendel’s. There had to be someone in Chicago. Someone new? He only hoped it was someone worthwhile. And respectable.

  “I saw your last article in Harper’s. Nice piece. And I heard from Simpson the other day that you’ve got something coming out in a few weeks in the Sunday Times.”

  “I do? Which one?”

  “Something about a drug rehabilitation center in Harlem. I didn’t know you’d done that.”

  “That was just before I left town. Save it for me when it comes out.” But suddenly there was an unspoken awkwardness between them. They both felt it.

  “Kezia, are you all right?”

  And now it was back to that again. “Yes, Edward, I’m fine. Honest. We’ll have lunch next week when I get back, and you can see for yourself. I’ll even meet you at La Côte Basque.”

  “Dear lady, how kind you are.”

  She laughed at him and they hung up after a few moments of business: they had some new tax shelters to discuss.

  “Luke looked up from his reading with a quizzical eye. “Who was that?” He knew it had to be Edward or Simpson.

  “Edward.”

  “You can tell him you’ll have lunch with him sooner. If you want.”

  “Are you sending me back?” They had been gone for ten days.

  “No, you jerk.” He grinned at the look on her face. “I just thought we’d go back tomorrow. You’ve got your work to consider, and I have to commute to D.C. for the rest of the week. There’s a series of closed meetings for the moratorium that I want to attend, and I can catch another speaking engagement or two down there. Washington seems to love me.” The checks had been coming in with pleasing regularity. “I just thought we’d settle down in New York for a couple of weeks.”

  She laughed at him, relieved. “Are you sure you can stand staying anyplace for that long?”

  “I’ll sure try.” He slapped her behind as he walked to the bar and poured himself a bourbon and water.

  “Luke?” She was lying on the bed, looking pensive.

  “Yeah?”

  “What am I going to do about the column?”

  “That’s up to you, babe. You’ve got to make up your own mind on that. Do you dig writing it?”

  “Once in a while. But not lately. Not for a long time, in fact.”

  “Then maybe it’s time to quit, for your own sake. But don’t give it up for me. Do what you want. And if you’ve got to stick around New York covering fancy parties, then you do that. You’ve got to take care of your business too. Don’t forget that.”

  “I’ll see how I feel about it after next week. Ill do my usual thing when we go back to New York. Then I’ll see how it feels.” With Luke commuting to Washington, she’d have plenty of time to hit her old circuit.

  After four days in New York, she had been to the opening of a play, the closing of a theater, two lunches for ambassadors’ wives, and a charity fashion show. Her feet hurt, her mind ached, and her ears were numbed by the constant flow of idle gossip. Who gave a damn? Kezia didn’t. Not anymore.

  “Lucas, if I ever hear the word ‘divine’ again, I think I’m going to throw up.”

  “You look tired.” She looked more than tired. She looked drained, and she felt it.

  “I am tired, and I hate all that fucking shit.” She had even made it to a meeting of the Arthritis Ball that day. Tiffany had passed out in the John. And she couldn’t even use it for the column. The only good piece of information she’d picked up was that Marina and Halpern were getting married. But so what? Who cared?

  “What are we doing this weekend?” If he told her that they were going to Chicago, she would have a fit of hysterics. She didn’t want to go anywhere, except bed.

  “Nothing. Maybe I’ll go up and see Al. Want to have him for dinner?” He was sitting on the edge of the bed and looked as tired as she.

  “That, I would love. I’ll cook something here.” He smiled at the domestic exchange and she picked up on what he was thinking. “It’s neat, isn’t it, Luke? Sometimes I wonder if you love it all as much as I do. I’ve never lived like this before.”

  He grinned at her, knowing how true that was.

  “You know what I mean.”

  “Yes, I do. And I probably love it even more than you do. I’m beginning to wonder how I survived without you before this.” He slipped into bed beside her, and she turned off the light. He had his own keys to the apartment, and used the answering service as his, she had cleaned out a closet for him, and the maid had finally even smiled at him. Once. She called him “Mister Luke.”

  “You know something, darling? We’re lucky. Incredibly lucky.” She was pleased with herself, as though she had caught a falling star in her hands.

  “Yes, baby, we are.” Even if only for now….

  “Well, gentlemen, I propose a toast to the demise of Martin Hallam.”

  “Lucas, what does she mean?” Alejandro looked puzzled and Luke looked at her curiously. This was the first he had heard of it.

  “Kezia, does this mean what I think?”

  “Yes, sir. It does. After seven years of writing the Martin Hallam column, I quit. I did it today.”

  Luke looked at her, shocked. “What did they say?”

  “They don’t know yet. I told Simpson today, and he’s going to handle the rest. They’ll know tomorrow.”

  “Are you sure?” It wasn’t too late to reverse the decision.

  “I have never been so sure in my life. I don’t have the time for that garbage anymore. Or the inclination to waste my time doing it” She saw a strange look pass between Luke and Alejandro, and wondered why no one seemed impressed. “Well, you two are certainly a lousy audience for my big announcement. Phooey on both of you.”

  Alejandro smiled and Luke laughed.

  “I guess we’re just kind of shocked, babe. And I suddenly wondered if you’re doing it because of me.”

  “Not really, darling. It’s my decision. I don’t want to have to go to those shitty parties
for the rest of my life. You saw how tired I was this week. And for what? It’s just not my thing anymore.”

  “Have you told Edward?” He looked worried, and Alejandro was looking daggers at him.

  “No. I’ll call him tomorrow. You’re the first two to know after Simpson. And you’re a couple of creeps.”

  “I’m sorry, baby. It’s just sort of a shock.” He lifted his glass to her then, a nervous smile on his face. ‘To Martin Hallam then.” Alejandro raised his glass in response, but his eyes never left Lucas’ face.

  “To Martin Hallam. Rest in peace.”

  “Amen.” Kezia drained her glass in one gulp.

  “No, Edward. I’m sure. And Simpson agrees. It’s a diversion I don’t really have time for anymore. I want to stick with serious writing.”

  “But it’s such a drastic step, Kezia. You’re used to the column. Everyone’s used to it. It’s become an institution. Have you given this decision adequate thought?”

  “Of course I have. For months. And the fact is, darling, that I don’t want to be an ‘institution.’ Not that kind of institution. I want to be a writer, a good one, not a gossip monger amongst fools. Really, darling, you’ll see. It’s the best possible decision.”

  “Kezia, you’re making me nervous.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. Why?” She swung her foot as she sat at her desk. She had called him right after Luke left the house for a morning of meetings. At least Luke had come around, after the first shock. And Simpson had applauded the decision, and said it was high time.

  “I wish I knew why you make me nervous. I think it’s because I get the feeling I don’t know what you’re up to, not that it’s really any of my business.” But he wanted it to be. That was the rub.

  “Edward, you’re going to make yourself senile worrying about nothing.” He was beginning to annoy her. Constantly.

  “What are you doing for Thanksgiving?” It was almost an accusation.

  “Going away.” But he didn’t dare ask where. And she didn’t volunteer the information. They were going back to Chicago.

  “All right, all right. Dammit, Kezia, I’m sorry. It’s just that, in my mind, you will always be a child.”