Adam

by K. A. Robinson

  She ran into me and stumbled back.

  “Whoa, sorry,” she mumbled as she tried to move around me.

  I moved with her.

  “Excuse me,” she said.

  She tried to move around me again, but I blocked her.

  “What the fuck, asshole?” She finally looked up. When she saw me, she froze.

  “What the fuck are you doing in California?” I demanded. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t care, yet there I was, asking the question.

  “Move.” She tried to push past me.

  I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. “You don’t belong here. No one wants you here.”

  “Back the fuck off of me!” She jerked her arm free. “I’m here with my friends. Seeing you was just an unfortunate accident.”

  “Bullshit. You’re at my party. I don’t want you here.” That was a lie whether I wanted to admit it or not.

  Even though I hated that she was here, it was still good to see her. Something stirred in me as I looked down at her. I’d missed her.

  “And I don’t give a fuck what you want.” She shoved at my chest.

  When I didn’t move, she shoved me again. She pulled her fist back to hit me, but she lost her balance and fell on her ass. I smirked. She was definitely drunk. My smirk was short-lived though. Amber kicked my leg—hard. I cursed as I toppled over next to her.

  “Fuckin’ bitch,” I snarled at her.

  In true Amber fashion, she kicked me again. “And proud of it.”

  We glared at each other, neither of us willing to back down. My eyes finally lowered, and I took in her bikini. She looked amazing. My stomach tightened as I fought with myself. I wanted—no, I needed to kiss her, but I knew that it would only end in disaster. Before I could talk myself out of it, I jerked forward and pushed her back. Our lips collided as my body pressed against hers.

  She seemed surprised for a moment, and then she was angry. She tried to fight me, but she quickly caved. I pressed down on her further as she started kissing me back. I kissed her deeply, my tongue diving into her mouth. She bit down on my tongue, and I moaned as I thrust my hips against her. She moaned in response and dug her fingernails into my back. That was all it took for me to snap.

  I shoved her bikini top aside and sucked one of her nipples into my mouth. She moaned as I swirled my tongue around her nipple before biting down on it.

  “I hate you,” she mumbled when I released it.

  “The feeling’s mutual,” I said as I undid the ties on her bikini bottom.

  Once they were free, I tossed it aside and jerked my swim trunks down my hips. In one swift move, I entered her. She groaned again, her nails digging deeper into my skin. I thrust my hips forward hard enough that her body moved up the beach a few inches. I cursed as I grabbed her hips to hold her in place. She wrapped her legs around my waist and tilted her hips so that I could penetrate deeper.

  “Goddamn,” I said through gritted teeth as I fucked her harder. “I’ve waited for this for so fucking long.”

  My breathing was ragged as I fought for control. Far too soon for my liking, I felt myself explode inside her. I never stopped moving though. I continued to thrust into her as my fingers found her clit. She cried out as she came, a sound I’d missed for so long. When Amber came, she came. She didn’t hold back. Just like with everything else in her life, she gave it her all. Her cries were so loud that I wondered if anyone back at the party could hear us.

  Once we both finished, I pulled out of her and rolled onto my back. I was completely spent. My eyes shut, and within seconds, I was out. I didn’t even stir when Amber fought to dress me again.

  ***

  My eyes slowly slid open. The sun was blaring down on me, making it hard for me to see anything. It didn’t help that my head was splitting open, and I was pretty sure that I had sand up my ass. I groaned as my eyes adjusted, and I looked around. My gaze landed on Amber, who was sitting only a few inches away. Parts of us were touching, something I’d thought would never happen again. A faint smile curved my lips. The sight of her took my breath away.

  Suddenly, my brain woke up, and I realized just how close we were. My smile disappeared as I ripped my body away from Amber’s. The hurt that crossed her face hit me like a punch in the gut. I pushed my remorse aside. I wasn’t supposed to be around her.

  “What the fuck?” I shouted as I stood and glared down at her.

  She groaned. “Will you shut up or at least talk quieter? I have a headache from hell.”

  She wasn’t the only one.

  “I told you to stay away from me, not sneak up on me for a cuddle when I passed out,” I said angrily, but I lowered my voice for both our sakes.

  “Um, excuse me?” She angrily stood up. She stepped closer to me and poked her finger into my chest. “You were the one who hunted me down when I went to take a piss break!”

  “Bullshit!” I said. Suddenly, I wasn’t sure though. Had I sought her out? It wasn’t like she could have dragged me out here by herself. I weighed twice as much as her.

  “Believe what you want. You were the one who cornered me and—”

  “And what?” I demanded.

  She gave me the cruelest smile I’d ever seen. “And fucked me like the whore I am.”

  Horror flooded me.

  We didn’t—but no, we had. The night before flashed through my mind. I had followed her out here. We’d fought, and I’d tackled her. I’d fucked her senseless. Then, I had passed out.

  It took everything in me not to turn and run away when I realized what I’d done.

  And fucked me like the whore I am.

  I’d called her a whore so many times over the years.

  I looked at her, and for a moment, I felt a flash of regret. Amber had never been innocent, but I’d slowly ruined her over the years. The woman in front of me wasn’t even close to the one I’d met back in West Virginia.

  She thought I considered her a whore.

  If only she knew how much I loved her, how much it had killed me to hurt her the way I did…

  I couldn’t change anything though. Pushing her away had been for the best for both of us. I wasn’t sure if either of us was stable enough to have a solid relationship without destroying what was left of the other.

  I opened my mouth to speak, but I clamped it shut when I heard a voice in the distance calling Amber’s name. I looked over to see Chloe and Drake approaching us.

  “Last night was a fucking mistake. As far as I’m concerned, it never happened,” I managed to growl just before they reached us.

  “There you are. We woke up, and you were gone.” Chloe glanced at me. “Um…are you guys okay?”

  Amber forced a smile onto her face. “We’re fine. Just catching up on how much we hate each other.” She looped her arm through Chloe’s and started dragging her away from me. “Are we heading back to your place?”

  “Yeah.” Chloe glanced back to me. She seemed unsure of whether or not to let Amber drag her away.

  When the girls were far enough away that they couldn’t possibly hear us, Drake turned to me. “What happened?”

  I shrugged. “Nothing important.”

  “Bullshit. What did you do this time?”

  That made my blood boil. Of course he would assume that if something happened, it was automatically my fault.

  “I didn’t do anything,” I lied. I waved my hands in the air, motioning to where Amber had stood only moments before. “Amber and I are like oil and water. We don’t mix. It’s best if we just stay away from each other.”

  He shook his head. “You’re a damn fool, Adam.”

  I watched as he turned and walked away. He had no idea how much it killed me to do and say the things I had, especially when it came to Amber. He had no idea at all.

  Past

  November

  “Why the fuck do you need me to help you hang shelves?” I grumbled as I followed Drake up the stairs of his house.

  “Shut up and help me. Chloe’s bee
n bustin’ my balls to put them up in one of the spare rooms,” Drake said when we reached the second floor.

  “You’re pussy-whipped, my friend,” I grumbled.

  Drake opened the door to a spare room and walked inside. I followed him even though I didn’t really want to. Truthfully, I’d rather be anywhere else at the moment. Since Amber’s swift entrance and departure from my life two months ago, things had been tense between Drake and me. I had no idea when he’d switched to Team Amber, but it sucked monkey ass.

  When I walked in, I glanced around the room for the shelves. What I saw instead stopped me dead in my tracks. My eyes landed on Amber.

  She stood in the middle of the room, watching me.

  “What in the actual fuck?” I growled as I turned and glared at Drake. “What the hell is she doing here?”

  “She’s here for you,” Drake said, crossing his arms over his chest.

  “Fuck that.” I tried to move past Drake. There was no way that I could have another showdown with Amber. I didn’t have it in me.

  He blocked me, causing me to get even angrier. “You’re not leaving until you two talk.”

  “This was a damn setup. Why?” I shouted at Drake. “I thought I made it clear that I wanted nothing to do with her.”

  “Because she has something she needs to tell you, and I knew you’d never willingly see her.”

  “You’re right, and I’m not going to talk to her now. Move!”

  Drake shook his head. “You’re not going anywhere. Now, I can close the door and leave you two alone, or I can stand in here while she talks to you. Trust me when I say, you’re better off without me. This isn’t something that you’re going to want me to hang around for.”

  I glared at him before turning away. “Fine. She can say whatever the hell she needs to say, and then I’m gone. I don’t care if I have to take down your ass to leave. What the fuck happened to bros before hoes?”

  Drake grinned. “I got married. Bros never stood a chance.” He turned to leave. “Yell if you need me, Amber.”

  Once he was gone, neither Amber nor I spoke. Instead, I glared at her. Surprisingly, she didn’t glare back.

  I took a better look at her. Amber looked…tired. No, she looked positively drained.

  “Are you going to stare at me or tell me what the fuck you need to say?” I finally said.

  She looked away for a moment before speaking, “I think you might want to sit down.”

  “I’ll stand, thanks,” I said.

  She looked like she wanted to tell me to go fuck myself, but somehow, she managed to refrain from doing so. “Suit yourself. But once I start talking, I want you to let me finish before you say anything, okay?”

  I raised an eyebrow.

  “I’m serious.”

  “Fine. Whatever. Just get on with it.”

  “Before I came out here last month, I got sick. I ended up going to the doctor, and he gave me antibiotics. The only problem with them is that they fuck up birth control. I forgot that.” She sighed. “I’m pregnant, Adam. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I am. I know you probably hate me more than ever for it, but I can’t change anything. And…there’s something else. We had sex that night, but I had sex with someone else shortly after. I don’t know if it’s his or yours. I won’t know until the baby is born.”

  I stared at her.

  Then, I stared some more.

  She fidgeted as she waited for me to say something. I couldn’t. I was frozen with shock.

  “Adam, talk to me, please.”

  “You’re pregnant,” I managed to say. Surely, I had heard her wrong. There was no way that I was going to be a dad.

  “I’m not asking for anything from you. I know what Hilary did to you, and I would never do that. I understand if you want nothing to do with this child, but Chloe thought you needed to know.”

  “Chloe thought I needed to know?” I asked, finally breaking from my stupor. “And what about you? Did you think I needed to know?”

  She looked away. “I hadn’t decided yet, but she made me tell you.”

  “Jesus Christ!” I exploded. “You’re carrying my kid, and you thought I didn’t need to know?”

  I was livid. How dare she try to keep something like that from me!

  That baby was as much mine as it was hers.

  “I don’t know if it’s yours! I would never expect you to take care of me like you did with her. I didn’t do this to trap you or whatever it is you’re thinking. It was an accident.”

  That was the last thing on my mind. Amber wasn’t the type of girl who would try to trap a man. She was the complete opposite. She usually tried to run the other way.

  Then, it hit me.

  I don’t know if it’s his or yours.

  That was Hilary all over again.

  Surely, God wouldn’t be so cruel. He wouldn’t hand me another gift and then rip it away.

  “I don’t give a fuck if it’s mine or not! I have a right to know!” I shouted. I wanted to do more than shout. I wanted to throw something.

  “I’m sorry. I thought you’d tell me to get lost. I know how much you hate me.”

  “Goddamn it, Amber! This isn’t about you! It’s about that baby,” I growled. “Have you told the other asshole?”

  She nodded. “Yeah.”

  “And?” I asked.

  She dropped down onto the bed. “He didn’t take it well. He doesn’t want anything to do with the baby even if it’s his.”

  My nostrils flared. “Fucker.”

  How could someone know he might possibly be a dad and not care? It made no sense to me. I wasn’t the most responsible man in the world, and I’d made more than my fair share of mistakes, but fucking hell, I knew when to step up and take responsibility. A child wasn’t something to run from. It was something to run toward.

  “It’s not all his fault.” She hesitated. “He’s married. I doubt his wife would be cool if I moved into their spare room.”

  My mouth dropped open in shock. “The motherfucker is married, but he decided to sleep with you. Then, he decided he wanted nothing to do with…” I ran my hands over my face. “I want to fucking kill him, and I don’t even know who he is.”

  She sighed. “It doesn’t matter. I can take care of myself. At least he knows, and now, you do, too. I don’t have that on my conscience any longer. I can go back home and figure out where to go from there.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked.

  She rolled her eyes. “I have to find a doctor, tell my parents, and figure out what the hell I need to raise a baby. Besides the doctor, I have no idea how to go about any of that.”

  “You’re not going back to Morgantown,” I said furiously.

  There was no way that I would let her leave now, not with my baby. I wouldn’t risk something happening while I was too far away to help.

  “What?”

  “You’re not going back. You’re staying here with me. That could be my child you’re carrying, and I’m not going to just let you walk away with it.”

  “I…you…” she sputtered, unable to form a coherent sentence.

  “You’ll stay with me, and we’ll figure out all that shit together.”

  “But you hate me!” she blurted out.

  I didn’t. God, I didn’t. But how could I tell her that right now? I couldn’t, not with her telling me all of this. She’d think I was saying it just because of the baby.

  “It doesn’t matter what I think of you. If that kid’s mine, I’m taking care of it. I want to be there for everything—every doctor’s appointment, every ultrasound, the first time he kicks…all of it.”

  “He?” she asked.

  I grinned, surprising both of us.

  “Of course it’s a he.”

  She shook her head. “Adam, this isn’t something to just jump into. We’ll have to see each other constantly, especially if you expect me to stay with you. How well do you think that’s going to go?”

  I shrugged.
“We’ll figure it out as we go.”

  “And what happens if once he’s born, you find out you’re not the father?”

  “Like I said, we’ll figure it out as we go.”

  With the other guy being a douche, I knew that I would claim this baby whether or not it was biologically mine. I wouldn’t let him and Amber fend for themselves. I loved Amber even if she didn’t know it, and I already loved this baby.

  I saw tears in her eyes.

  “You’re really going to help me, aren’t you?”

  I suddenly felt uncomfortable. “Of course I am.”

  “Thank you,” she whispered, her body sagging in relief.

  It was as if I’d taken the weight of the world off her shoulders.

  “Hey, don’t cry.” I walked over and knelt down in front of her. “Living with me won’t be that bad.”

  She smiled through her tears. “That’s debatable.” Her smile disappeared as she stared at me. “Can we try to get along? Can we be…friends again? I don’t know if I can do this with you if we aren’t.”

  I studied her for a moment. “Yeah, we can be friends.”

  She wrapped her arms around me, taking both of us by surprise. “Thank you.”

  I awkwardly patted her on the back. “No problem.”

  “Adam?” she asked as she pulled away. “Can I ask for one more favor?”

  I warily eyed her. “What?”

  “I know how you are with…women. I don’t think I can handle living with you and watching you bring them home. Can you not fuck around while I’m there?”

  I frowned. “I can keep it in my pants, Amber.”

  The thought of not having sex with other women didn’t bother me at all. In a way, I felt relieved. After all these years, I finally had a valid excuse not to be a complete dick.

  “I know. I just…” She trailed off.

  I sighed. “I get it. Don’t worry. I won’t mess around with anyone.”

  “Thank you.”

  I gave her a small smile before my eyes dropped down to her stomach. “Can I…can I touch you?”

  She nodded. I reached out and pressed my hand on her lower stomach. It was still flat, but I knew that she would start showing in no time at all. I couldn’t feel it yet, but my baby was inside of her.