Jackson's Girl: Being His Duology

by Charlie R. Love

  Then I heard footsteps bounding up the stairs, and I knew right away it wasn’t Jackson coming, but Grant. He knocked softly, and when I didn’t answer, he opened the door and peeked his head through.

  I glared at him. It didn’t deter him, as he made his way through the door and closed it softly behind. I turned away and ignore him. I felt him sitting down next to me on the bed, and when I kept quiet, he sighed loudly.

  “You know I am only mad because you got hurt yesterday.”

  “Yeah, well you picked the wrong person to mad at.”

  “I don’t want to argue with you.”

  “Jackson’s not responsible for me,” I tried again. I still wasn’t satisfied with the way he answered things.

  “Yes, he is.”

  “I’m not a child.”

  “But you needed to be protected.”

  “Grant, you and Aiden were there as well,” I said, and he didn’t reply. I didn’t say anything after and let him make of that statement however he needed to.

  “I know,” he said after a while. “I think that’s why I’m so mad. I’m more angry at myself than I am at him.”

  “Don’t you see how ridiculous that is? Is everyone going to take responsibility every time something bad happens to me.”

  “Let’s get something straight. There won’t be a next time.”

  I cupped his cheek. “I know you love me. I love you, too. But you can’t always be there to keep away the monsters. Not even Jackson could. Can you stop blaming him for what happened? Can you stop blaming yourself?”

  He relaxed a little as he moved in closer to me. “Yeah,” he answered.

  “Good.” I rested my cheek on his shoulder and closed my eyes.

  Grant spoke after a while. “How are you feeling, Emily?”

  “Okay.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  I shrugged. “What’s there to talk about?”

  “Emily.”

  “I don’t know what to talk about when I don’t remember much of what happened.” I paused. Then, “I think I might have fainted.”

  Grant’s eyebrow drew together in concerns. “Are you sure?”

  I shrugged. “I dreamt of my mom.” And a monster, I didn’t say.

  “Your mom?” I nodded. “What was the dream about?”

  “She apologized.”

  He was quiet for a minute or two before he spoke. When he did, his voice was gruff. “You want an apology from her.” He didn’t say it like a question, but rather, a statement. I nodded anyway.

  “I want that, too,” he said. When I stayed silent, he continued, “Sometimes, I want to hear an apology from my mom for turning her back on us. For leaving me with a man who wasn’t fit to be a dad.”

  He grabbed my hand and played with the back of it with his thumb. I moved in closer, taking in the comforts from his familiarity. He smelled like happiness and safety. “Not that my situation could ever be compared to yours,” he said softly. “I just want you to know that I understand.”

  “I guess I’m still mad at her for leaving us behind. She took the easy way out, and for the life of me, I still don’t understand why.”

  “She was depressed.”

  I shrugged. “Is that enough to make someone want to take their life?”

  “I guess so. Have you told Jackson?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Why do you care. You don’t think he did a good job at protecting me.”

  He sighed. “I was mad. I’m not anymore. And I know what I said to him was wrong. And the fact that he let me do it, tells me he thinks I’m right.”

  “He blames himself for what happens.”

  “For what it’s worth, I don’t think he failed at protecting you. I think he might just be the best thing to have happened to you.”

  I smiled and leaned forward, kissing his shoulder. He wrapped me in his arms. “I think so, too.”

  “Tell him about your dream. He’ll make you feel better. And maybe then, you’ll get a better night sleep,” he said, tracing a single finger gently underneath my eyelids. I woke up with terrible bags surrounding them.

  “I know.”

  We stayed in the room for fifteen more minutes, and when we came back downstairs, Grant was much more relaxed. We found Jackson and Aiden in the kitchen. Jackson was in the middle of making breakfast, the conversation he was having with Aiden had taken most of his focus, while he mindlessly mixed the eggs.

  Their conversation ceased as soon as I took my first step in the kitchen. Aiden stood up from where he sat and engulfed me in his arms. “How are you feeling?” he asked softly.

  “I’m okay.” I pulled away and frowned. Aiden was sporting a nasty looking bruise on the side of his jaw. “You’re hurt.”

  He smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “If you think this is bad, you should see the other guy.”

  “Thank you,” I said.

  He shook his head. “Don’t thank me. I want to kill Terrance. I should have.”

  I shook my head. “I’m okay now.”

  Jackson coughed, and Aiden laughed. “I think Jackson might be a little impatient. You should go to him before he gives me a matching bruise on the other side of my face.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “He wouldn’t.”

  Aiden laughed again, though it didn’t look like he agreed with me. He gently pushed me Jackson’s way, and I walked over there, letting Jackson wrapped me in his arms. “Hey, how are you doing?” he whispered in my ear.

  “I’m okay. I wished everyone would stop asking me that.”

  He kissed the side of my head. “Are you hungry?”

  Not exactly, but if I told Jackson that, he would only worry. He would blame my loss of appetite on what happened the night before. So I nodded and walked away from the kitchen. No one stopped me, and I took a seat on one end of the couch, out in the living room. I heard hushed chatter. Grant was talking to Jackson, and it looked like he was apologizing.

  Good.

  After a while, Grant came out and sat next to me. I leaned against his body, and he held me up. “So, what are we doing today,” I asked him.

  “Whatever you want to do.”

  “Is it bad that I feel like staying in all day?”

  “Yes. You need to go out and have fun. As beautiful as this house really is, being holed up in it would feel like a prison. And then you’ll start thinking of things you shouldn’t be thinking about.”

  “Okay. Then you decide. Because I don’t really know. Do you have work today?”

  Grant nodded. “Yeah, but not until later in the evening. And if you want, I can always call for a day off.”

  “No. I am fine. You don’t have to treat me like I’m made of glass.”

  He sighed. “I know. I’m trying. It’s just, I can’t seem to let go of how you looked when we found you last night.”

  I wanted to ask him how did I look. I didn’t dare. I moved a little in his arms, suddenly uncomfortable, when I heard him grunted in pain. I moved back and looked at him questioningly, and when the answer came, my eyes widened in surprise.

  I tugged his shirt up, and he didn’t stop me, though I knew he wanted to. He didn’t want me to see. And when I got his shirt up, I wanted to cry. I whimpered, and he quickly pulled the shirt down.

  “Stop it. I’m okay,” he said.

  “Someone kicked you. Yesterday. Jackson and Aiden weren’t the only one fighting, were they?” Why would I have thought Grant had stayed out of it? I should have known better.

  “Stop worrying. That’s the only place I got hurt. And despite what you think, Daniel and me were pretty evenly match. Like Aiden said. If you think this looks bad, you should see the other guy.”

  I shook my head as tears sprang to my eyes. The fact that Grant was hurt affected me more than seeing Jackson and Aiden hurt because I knew Grant wasn’t a fighter. He didn’t like violence, and he tried to avoid it as much as possible. A side effect of having Jerimiah as
a dad, who seemed to always resort to violence whenever the mood strikes him.

  Grant pulled me into him, and I buried my face in his chest. He shushed me and wrapped his arms tighter around me when my whole body shook.

  “I’m okay,” he repeated, over and over again.

  Finally, what felt like forever, I was able to stop the crying and looked up at him. He gently wiped away my tears.

  “I don’t think I ever want to see you cry. Especially not for me.”

  “How could I not? You got hurt.”

  “And I survived. You know me. I always survive.”

  I paused then looked down. “Yes,” I answered softly. “You survived.”

  And that was the only thing any of us could hope for. To survive.

  35

  Past: Emily

  I had expected to go back to school with all the rumors that had happened at the party to weigh down on me, but surprisingly enough, no one talked about it, because no one even knew it happened.

  They knew about the fight Jackson got in with the two stupid boys at the party when one of them almost ran me over, but nothing more. School, for the most part, was pretty tamed.

  I caught glimpses of Jude and the other two boys at school every once in a while, but it seemed, Jackson had put the fear of God in their eyes because they meticulously avoided me at all cost.

  And even as I hadn’t been able to catch more than a passing glance of them, I knew they didn’t leave the battle without damages.

  Jude was in a leg cast. That pleased me more than I should be, but I didn’t care. If it made me a terrible person to enjoy seeing another human being hurt, so be it. The other two boys didn’t fare better than Jude did, their face marred with scabs and bruises, with broken limbs and broken ribs.

  Aiden and Grant’s bruised skin seemed small and insignificant compared to how wounded my attackers looked.

  I was able to go to school without having to worry much and before I knew it, we were at our last few weeks before school officially ends, and graduation was upon us all.

  I asked Jackson what he planned to do after graduation, but he only smiled and kissed me, distracting me, to keep from answering my question. I believed he was only doing that because he wanted to know what my plans were first and then he would plan accordingly to that.

  I thought it was silly, though I was secretly pleased that Jackson didn’t intend for us to go our separate ways after high school.

  Everyone was getting used to seeing Jackson and me together, and things were finally back to normal, though I still couldn’t wait to leave the place.

  I had gotten accepted to few colleges, all of which were out of states. I was sure Jackson had gotten accepted to those colleges as well, since he asked me to give him a list of all the places I had applied to, and I found him applying to those same places.

  Now all that was left was for me to pick one. Everything I wanted was within my reach, but I was afraid to take it, because surely, for something as good as this to happen to me, disaster was just waiting close by, hitting when I least expected it.

  I had thought it would hit in a place closest to me—my dad’s house. I just couldn’t have prepared for how correct my predictions were, in a wholly different matter.

  As we prepare for graduation, Jackson and I were also preparing for the life we would build together, as Jackson had once put it.

  He told me he’d lived to make all my dreams come true. He didn’t realize he already done it and so much more.

  Late into the night, when I couldn’t sleep due to excitement about the future, Jackson would stay up with me, and we would talk.

  He would tell me exactly how we were going to build our future over and over again, no matter how many times I asked him.

  “Tell me again,” I whispered in the darkness of our room.

  Jackson had one arm wrapped around me, while I laid my head on his chest, as he ran his fingers up and down the small of my back.

  “Hmm, okay. Let’s see. Where should I begin.”

  “Our house. Tell me about it.”

  “Ah, that’s right. You want a house near the lake.”

  “Yes, that’s the one.”

  I felt him smile against my skin. “A beautiful lake. Clear water surrounded by thick trees and blue sky.”

  “But not too close.”

  “You’re right. Not too close.”

  “We wouldn’t want our children to fall in and die.”

  Jackson shook in laughter. “As if I would ever let anything happen to any kids you give me.”

  I traced his lips. “No, you wouldn’t. You would be fiercely protective of them.”

  He nibbled on my finger before letting go. “Just as I am of their mother.”

  I moved my face up and kissed his jaw, the two-day-old stubbles tickling me. “And inside the house?”

  “A beautiful balcony just outside our room, where you can watch the sunrise whenever you want to,” Jackson answered.

  “And a porch swing.”

  “I’ll build one for you,” he promised.

  “That’s all I ask.”

  “You ask for simple things.”

  “They're not simple.”

  “I want to give you the world, Emily.”

  I pulled him in and hugged him tightly. “You already have.”

  “Kiss me,” he demanded softly. I complied, taking his lips in mine. And though Jackson let me control the kiss first, as soon as I deepened it, he took back the control, laying me flat on the bed and resting his body weight on top of me.

  I had never told him how much I loved it when he covered me like this. It made the world feel that much smaller and insignificant.

  As if nothing could ever hurt me.

  In this place, like this, with him, I was in my own little corner in the world. Safe and protected. I could fly if I wanted to.

  I was invincible.

  When I tugged at Jackson’s shirt, he let me, breaking away from the kiss long enough for me disposed of his shirt carelessly on the ground. He did the same to me.

  We slowly pulled each other’s clothes off, taking our time exploring the skin our palms came upon, and when I looked into Jackson’s eyes, he knew.

  He knew I was ready.

  There wasn’t any need for words. I didn’t need to tell him I loved him more than I had ever loved anyone, and he didn’t need to tell me I was safe with him.

  I knew.

  He kissed me as his hands explore every dip, every curve of my body, before heading south, circling once, twice, three times around my navel, driving me crazy. Just when I didn’t think I could handle it anymore, he cupped the intimate flesh between my legs, as he gently explored me there.

  He touched me as if it was the first time, though we both knew he knew me better there than I knew myself.

  His fingers delved into the lips, seeking entry before he found it and inserted two fingers inside. I moaned against his lips, wrapping my arms more securely around his neck.

  He began to move his fingers, and I cried out both in pleasure and in frustration when he wouldn’t let me go over the edge.

  He knew exactly what to do, to drive me toward the brink and not let me fall over. Every time I could feel myself building up, Jackson would hold back, inevitably stopping me from going any further.

  Desperate. I was desperate for him and desperate for him to let me fall, I had resorted to begging. “Please Jackson… I don’t think I can take it anymore… I need… I need… you.”

  “I got you,” he cooed. His thumb sought out the bundle of nerves above my opening, and when he found it, he rubbed harshly at it three times before I came, shouting out his name.

  Just when I came back down, I felt something thick and hard probe my entrance once more. Never looking away from my eyes, Jackson entered me, quickly when he was met with a wall of resistance.

  I bit his shoulder to keep from crying out in pain, as tears pricked my eyes. That was more painful than I thought.<
br />
  Jackson knew because he held still, even when I could feel the tremors that coursed through his body. A huge part of me wanted to tell him I didn’t want to do it anymore, though I knew the pain would go away.

  “Jackson?”

  “Shh, it’s okay, sweetheart. Just tell me when the pain subsides. I won’t move until you tell me to.”

  I nodded and buried my face in his neck. Lord, I wanted him to move. But remnants of the pain still remained, and the foreign feeling of having something as big as Jackson inside of me was frightening, made more so when I wasn’t sure what I should expect.

  But then something amazing happened.

  To my astonishment, the pain quickly gave way, as if it was never there to begin with, and what was left in its place was the familiar ache throbbing between my legs, and I had this urge to move.

  So I tilted my hips up a little and heard Jackson grunted in what sounded like pain. I moved back and looked up at him.

  “Did I hurt you?” I asked.

  “God, I think you might kill me.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He shook his head and smiled his amused smile, though it looked strained. “Don’t be. Do you want me to move?”

  “Yes,” I said, the thought making the ache returned much more fiercely.

  Jackson moved his hips, and a shot of pleasure went up my spine. I closed my eyes and wrapped my legs around his hips.

  “God,” I moaned.

  Jackson leaned down to kiss me, and then he moved again, except this time, he didn’t stop.

  I encouraged him on with my nails digging into his back, and he was only happy to comply, his movement growing bolder, quicker, harder.

  His back grew taunt where I touched, and I reveled in the muscle I felt there, loving the evidence of his physical strength just beneath my palm.

  I tightened around him, begging for more without having to utter a single word, and Jackson understood. He thrust into me harder.

  The erotic sound of our skin slapping against one and another nearly had me coming off in pleasure, but it was the way he looked at me as he moved, the love and respect I saw in his eyes, the ones that couldn’t be hidden even as lust claim him that got me over.