Jackson's Girl: Being His Duology

by Charlie R. Love

  “I know. I know. You don’t need to explain it to me. I know. I know you tried to fight him off. You’re okay. I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner. I so sorry.” He kissed the top of my head. “Let me get you out of here. Okay?”

  I nodded and buried my face in his chest. He led us outside, to his car. Then he opened the car door and helped me in. “I will be right back.”

  I shook my head and hold onto his arm. “No, please don’t leave me alone.”

  “Emily, sweetheart. Look at me.” I did as he asked. He cupped my cheek. “I’m going to grab your clothes. Okay?”

  My clothes.

  I closed my eyes, but it only served to make me cry harder. I nodded. “Yes, please hurry.”

  “I will.”

  He closed the door gently behind, and I watched as he made his way back inside the house. I sat there in a daze, unable to process all that had happened. It didn’t feel real.

  I wasn’t sure how long I sat there, watching the house I grew up in from the safety of a two-ton metal and steel.

  I stared unblinkingly at the broken porch swing as it swayed back and forth to the harsh wind. And when the thunder struck, something happened.

  I blinked, and suddenly the porch swing was no longer hanging precariously on the fragile nail and hook.

  I didn’t even hear it hit the ground.

  But that was where it laid, broken and as far as I knew, unrepairable.

  Aiden came out the front door minutes later, a small bag containing my shirt in his hand. He didn’t look anywhere but in my direction. I was sure he couldn’t see me through the tinted window. He opened the driver’s door and climbed in.

  And without another word, he pulled me into his arms and I...

  I broke down.

  I cried in his chest and grabbed a fistful of his shirt, needing his strength more than anything. “Aiden.”

  “Shh. I know, Emily. It’s okay now. You’re safe. I promise. You’re safe.”

  I shook my head as the tears came out faster, and a sob made its way up my throat, the sound strange and tragic. I didn’t even know it was me until Aiden’s arms tightened, whispering words of comfort in my ears.

  He told me I was strong.

  He told me I was brave.

  And at the moment, I felt it, no matter how fleeting the feeling may be. I needed to brave for what I was going to ask of him.

  I looked up and meet his eyes. They were sad, as he cupped my face and wiped away the tears.

  “Don’t tell Jackson,” I whispered.

  His sharp intake of breath told me he heard me. “Why?”

  “Because he wasn’t here and there’s nothing he can do about it now.”

  “There’s a lot he can do. He can comfort you in ways I’ll never be able to do. He would want to know Emily. He would want to know.”

  I shook my head. “No. He’ll just blame himself. I’m okay.” When he shook his head, I grabbed ahold of his jaw and forced him to look at me. “I’m okay,” I repeated, my voice coming out much firmer.

  “You’re okay,” he repeated slowly. And despite those words, I buried my face in Aiden chest and sought out comfort from the wrong man.

  38

  Present: Jackson

  Jackson couldn’t get out of the diner fast enough.

  He threw some cash on the table, bypassing the waitress on his way out and didn’t look back. He was a mirage of emotions. Rage, pain, loss.

  They all battled for a place in his heart, but rage finally won out.

  With a shout, he kicked his car door, leaving a huge dent in the polished black paint. He didn’t care. And when that didn’t earn him any satisfaction, he used his fist on the metal, instead, doing more damage to himself than the car.

  He must’ve looked like a madman.

  He felt like he was going to lose his mind at any given second.

  Climbing into his car, he slammed it shut, throwing the journal carelessly on the passenger’s seat and pulled out his phone. It rang once.

  “Jackson.”

  “You bastard. Why didn’t you tell me!”

  There was a pause. “What are you talking about?”

  “Why didn’t you tell me that Emily was…” he choked on his words. He couldn’t even finish the sentence. What should have been joyous news to him, died along with everything all because of his wife’s careless and utterly stupid decision.

  “She didn’t know what to do. I tried to talk her out of it,” the other man pleaded.

  Jackson roared in the car. “You should have come to me! You’re my best friend. You should have told me.”

  “You didn’t see her. You didn’t see how desperate she was to make it disappear.”

  “It?”

  “You know what I mean. And if I had come to you, you would have lost her in the end. Can’t you see why I did what I did?”

  Jackson shook his head, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. And when he was too choked up to even reply, he hung up on Aiden and threw the phone somewhere behind.

  It didn’t even make a sound as it fell.

  And that’s when he lost it. Jackson leaned his head forwards and cried for the life that should have been. How was he ever going to forgive her?

  39

  Past: Emily

  When Aiden dropped me off at home, it was eight in the evening, and the sun was no longer out. The sky had turned dark, and the rain was just beginning to pick up.

  Aiden had texted Jackson earlier, telling him he was taking me out to dinner. And though that was true, I knew Aiden just wanted to make sure I was okay before he dropped me off. He was still reluctant to let me go and had tried, unsuccessfully, to get me to change my mind and tell Jackson.

  “Thanks for dropping me off,” I said.

  He smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Of course.”

  I leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. “And thank you for today.”

  He shook his head. “You don’t need to thank me for that.”

  “Yes, I do. I’ll see you later.”

  He nodded. Aiden made sure I was safely inside the house before he pulled away. I turned the lock and leaned against the large wooden door, trying to brace myself before I go up and see Jackson.

  My eyes were no longer red and swollen, but Jackson could read me well. He would know something was wrong with just one look.

  I took in a deep breath and pushed away from the door. Then I made my way up the stairs and into our room. The sight that greeted me took away all my worries and left a smile on my face. I hadn’t smile all day.

  Jackson was lying on the bed, shirtless from what I could see, and sound asleep. Even the occasional snores were endearing to me.

  I walked to the bathroom and got ready for bed. My hands shook the whole time.

  After, I shut off all the lights and climbed into bed with him, tugging the blankets around us. The air conditioner Jackson left on was made for the purpose that I wouldn’t get hot, sleeping tucked in by his side at night, and that was I did then. I tucked myself in by his side, carefully resting my head on his chest.

  Unconsciously, he pulled me in tighter to him, and without him even knowing, comforted me in ways I needed just then. He woke briefly and kissed my forehead. “Sleep, baby. I’ll be here when you wake,” he promised.

  I snuggled in closer to him, falling into a deep slumber I couldn’t even remember come morning.

  Time passed, and Aiden kept his promise. He never told Jackson anything, though he began to come over more often with Grant. I knew he was checking up on me, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.

  A part of me was touched he was as loyal to me as he was to Jackson, that he cared for me the same way Grant cared for me. Another part of me wished he would just give up because it had become exhausting to keep up the façade that I was fine when he and I both knew otherwise.

  I wasn’t fine.

  I had been having nightmares of late, and there was just no way for me to hid
e that from Jackson, who kept a close watch on me the first time it happened. He was always there, calming me down and bringing me back to him, but it didn’t prevent the monsters to wreak havoc in my mind.

  I couldn’t disguise the lack of sleep from anyone, most of all, not from Aiden, when he knew the source of my nightmare. And then a month had passed, and we were halfway through our summer.

  I woke up one morning with Jackson’s smiling face looming over me, a cup of coffee in hand. It was a familiar sight, and I grasped onto that familiarity that he presented, if for no other reason than to have that anchor me to earth.

  “How did you sleep?” he asked. Though from the looks in his eyes, he already had his answer. I shrugged. “Do you want to talk about what the nightmare is about?”

  I took a deep breath. “It’s the same one. I was little, seven or so, and my mom was calling out to me, telling me not to look, though I’m not exactly sure what she’s telling me not to look at, because my room was pitch black, and then the door opened, and the monster came in.”

  I had told him this the first time he had asked, which was true enough. I didn’t tell Jackson why I was dreaming it the way I dreamed it. I let him interpret it however he wanted, because the more the nightmares haunted me, the more I was convinced it wasn’t a dream, but a memory, and that was what kept me up most nights.

  “I’m sorry. I wished I was there to fight away the monster.”

  I urged him to put the cup down and pulled him to me, until he was lying on top of me. He braced his weight on both arms so not to crush me. “You’re here now. And you do keep the monster away,” I said softly.

  His eyes told me he didn’t think that was enough. Silly boy. He wanted to annihilate all that cause me pain, even from things he could never fight.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his jaw. “Won’t you kiss me, Jackson?”

  He leaned back and smiled at me. “You don’t even have to ask.”

  And then he kissed me.

  He kissed me the way I needed to be kissed. With the hard-pressed of his soft lips against mine, before he softly moved them, his tongue peeking out, the hot velvet touch running across my bottom lips, begging for entrance. And when I opened my mouth to let him in, we both groaned at the sensation.

  “Make me forget,” I whispered. “I need you.”

  “I got you,” he promised. And I knew he did. What a wonderful feeling it was, to know the one who loved you the most would always be there to catch you when you fall. It was almost enough to keep the monster at bay. Too bad Jackson couldn’t fight this battle for me. But he was there, and for a brief moment in time, I knew he could make me forget all about it.

  I let Jackson pull off the nightshirt I wore to bed, until I laid there, completely naked beneath him. His eyes took me in, as he traced a single finger around my skin, from my face, down the column of my neck and lower down.

  I moaned, squirming when he lightly ran that finger over my nipple, making it turn erect, just before he cupped one breast, playing with it.

  “Jackson,” I sighed when he pinched my nipple, and when he leaned forward and took a rigid peak into his mouth, I forgot why I had been so sad during the last month.

  He continued to play with my breast, his lips, tongue, and teeth turned me inside out while his hand, his large, capable hand made its descent down my body and cupped my intimate flesh.

  He petted me, driving me to the brink of pleasure, only to pull me back at the last moment. I pulled him tighter into me in frustration, and he smiled when I emitted a low growl that surprised even myself.

  “Jackson.” It seemed during moments like these, I was capable of only saying his name, but he knew what I wanted based on the tone of my voice. He knew I needed him, and I would beg if only I could just find my voice. “Jackson.” This one came out as a desperate plea, and I watched with fascination as he removed his clothes and donned on a condom before he entered me quickly.

  We both sighed in relief and satisfaction.

  I ran my hands over his taut buttocks, loving the way his muscle strained whenever I touched him. As if my touch alone had such a powerful impact on him.

  I moved my hips up and met the rhythms he set for us, my nails digging into his skin as my feet twisted and curled around the bedsheets.

  He quickened his pace, his thumb moved down between us until he found the bundle of nerves above my opening, and he rubbed in circles.

  Each thrust of his hips said one thing and one thing only—you belong to me.

  And my responding moan answered him—you belong to me first.

  I felt him shook as his movement became sloppy, so unlike the boy I loved, the who was always in control of his actions and emotions.

  I knew it then.

  I ruined him.

  Somehow, I made it impossible for him to live without me. I reveled in the thought, with something akin to twisted satisfaction powered through me. I urged him on, wrapping my legs around his lean hips and held him to me.

  He leaned down and kissed me just as he came, and his orgasms triggered my own, as I shook beneath him and came as well.

  I kissed him hard, fiercely.

  He didn’t mind. He seemed to welcome it. And everything disappeared as he did what I asked him to do.

  He made me forget that Jerimiah was the monster that came into my room around the time of my mother’s death, and touched me in a way I had only ever allowed Jackson to touch me. I knew it then. It wasn’t a nightmare, but a distant memory, that for the last blessed eleven years, I was able to forget.

  “Happy Birthday, Emily,” he whispered in my ear.

  I blew out a harsh breath and laughed. It was my eighteen birthday. “What a wonderful way to start my birthday,” I told him. Jackson suddenly tensed and moved back slightly so he could look at me. His expression confused me, so I asked, “What?”

  “One month, Emily.”

  “What about it?”

  “It’s been one month since I heard you laugh.”

  I looked away from him. I didn’t know how to respond to that, because I knew it was true.

  Jackson cupped my cheek and brought my focus back to him. “I wish I could kill whatever it was that took your laughter away.”

  I moved my face to the side and kissed his palm. “I love you,” I said because I didn’t know what else to say.

  “I love you.”

  “Are you going to love me forever?” Call me selfish, but I wanted that. I wanted to be the only women Jackson Wright would ever love.

  “Just until I die,” he answered gruffly.

  “I can live with that.”

  He smiled and once more, kissed me, holding me close.

  Around noon Aiden and Grant showed up, each carrying a small package wrapped in birthday paper.

  Aiden went to me first, where he wrapped me tightly in his arms, and let me bury my face in his chest. Since he was the only one who knew what happened, he was the only one able to offer the kind of comfort neither Jackson nor Grant could.

  I loved and hated that.

  I wished he didn’t have to lie to the boy he had come to think of as his brother, but at the same time, I was glad he did.

  “Happy Birthday, Emily.”

  I smiled and pulled back. “Thank you.” Eyeing the package, I asked, “For me?”

  He smiled and tweaked my nose. “You can open it after we cut the cake. I heard Jackson baked you one.”

  “Yes. He’s in the kitchen right now, putting frosting on it.”

  “Awesome, I’m going to go in there and see if he’ll let me lick the spoon after.” I laughed and pushed him away. Just as he was about to walk toward the kitchen, he turned around and asked me, “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah,” I said softly. “I’m fine. You worry too much.”

  “How can I not worry?”

  I gave him a gentle shove then. “Go. I’m fine. I promise.”

  He hesitated only for a moment, and giving me a short nod
, walked away. Grant took his place in front of me, squeezing me in a hug so tight, it was almost hard to breathe. I was sure Jackson talked about my nightmares with him.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

  I shook my head. I tell Grant everything, every little secret that belonged to me, I had told him. But I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him this one. I had to keep this one secret from him because I didn’t know how to tell him that his dad was a monster.

  I didn’t know how to tell him how much I had let his dad ruined me.

  “I’m fine,” I said.

  Grant didn’t believe me, but he let me have this one secret, maybe because on some level, he knew. Knew that this one secret could ruin him as well.

  “You know I love you, don’t you?” I asked.

  He leaned in and kissed my cheek. “You’re the only girl I ever love.”

  I smiled. “Come on. Let’s go celebrate my eighteen birthday.”

  He led me to the kitchen, and the sight that greeted us brought laughter out of me. Aiden was trying to wrestle the spoon away from Jackson, whereas Jackson, who looked very annoyed at this point, was doing a pretty good job keeping the large man away.

  “Come on, Jackson. Where’s the love. Just one lick. I promise I’ll be good.”

  “Dude, shut up and get away from me.”

  “Are you saying only Emily gets to lick the spoon.”

  “Oh, my God. Stay the hell away from me you pervert.”

  Grant joined in with the laughter, as Jackson blushed, a deep shade of red that was nothing but endearing. I walked over to the boys, and when Aiden saw me coming, he moved away from Jackson and hold me in his arms. “I’m kidnapping your girlfriend,” he said, just before he carried me around the ginormous kitchen. I squealed when I found my feet lifted up in the air.

  “If you hurt Emily, I’ll kill you,” I heard Jackson say.

  “You’re crazy, Aiden Montgomery. Put me down.” He did as I asked only after he circled around the island, placing me on it so that I sat next to where Jackson had put out the finished birthday cake.