True Calling

by Siobhan Davis

  “Where the hell have you been?” Cal says, and I’m perplexed. The Ranger glances left and right before pulling up his visor and I’m startled to see that it’s Ben!

  “With ... friends. I don’t have much time, they can’t track me but I know they’re watching you so I can’t properly explain. Just do what they ask and wait for the time, OK?” Ben says and we both nod although I’m sure that Cal is as clueless as me. “Don’t worry about me, I’m safe, see you soon,” he says and he takes off running around the back of the Academy. Cal puts his head in his hands and I can’t see his expression. I try to wrap my arms around him, but he pushes me away.

  “I’m sick of being lied to!” he seethes as he strides off. I’m afraid to say anything so I keep my mouth shut and follow him. We are at the top of the steps when a group of Rangers run hurriedly around the side of the building. Cal moves to go after them, but I hold him back firmly with my hands.

  “No,” I whisper, “that won’t help.” He shoots me a scathing look, then ignores me and takes off after them anyway.

  I’m infuriated and my inclination is to let him go and face the consequences alone, but I’m afraid of what might happen so I follow suit. Cal is much faster than me and when I round the corner I can’t see him but I can hear him, shouting aggressively at someone. I quicken my pace and as I sprint around the next corner, I run straight into a Ranger: the impact knocks me to the ground and I see stars swimming in front of my eyes. I hear Cal shouting furiously and that wills me back to reality. I drag myself up shakily and as my vision clears I see Cal being physically restrained by two Rangers, he is contorting wildly and his face is consumed with rage. One of the Rangers punches him in the stomach and he crumples to the ground. “No, stop,” I shriek, as I feel a hand wrap across my chest. The Ranger is pulling me tightly, my back to his torso, and I can’t move. I force myself to stay calm. “Please let us go, we don’t want any trouble, we’ll go to class,” I say pleadingly. He weighs the situation up and then loosens his grip on me.

  “Get him out of here,” he says, nodding in Cal’s direction, as he releases me completely. All three Rangers run off in the direction of their colleagues and I go to Cal’s aid, he’s pulling himself up and I gingerly extend my arm to help him. He holds onto me and straightens himself up. “Are you hurt?” I ask, but he shakes his head in response. “Right, let’s go,” I say and I loop my arm through his.

  Neither one of us mentions it again and we both make big efforts to stick to neutral topics of conversation. Cal is back to his old self at lunch, laughing and joking with his buddies but only I can tell it’s forced. We make our way back home silently and I try not to worry about Ben, but the fear keeps threatening to overcome me; I can only imagine the turmoil that Cal must be feeling.

  Deacon is over at his friends house, but Lily is home, already working on dinner when we come in. We are jovial purely for her benefit. She advises that Dr. Zousa made contact and we can see Mom tomorrow. Cal protests when I tell him that I’m running him a bath, but I refuse to take no for an answer. The knock he took to his stomach must have caused some discomfort, and I know that he’s still in some pain from the injuries inflicted by his father.

  When I come back downstairs, I’m happy to see Melandra in the kitchen talking to Lily, she gives me a quick hug and asks after Cal. I debate whether I should say anything about today or our little visit to NSAF last night, but I decide not to mention it. She’s Cal’s sister, he can make a call on how much he wants her to know. She’s as intuitive as her brother though and I sense she knows that something is going on. We chat pleasantly about the pageant and she tells me that we’re clear favorites to win the public vote. Tell me something I don’t know, I think. Cal is delighted to see her and locks her in a bear hug. I suggest they go up to his room to talk privately and I spend a half hour with Lily working on the memory book for Dad.

  It was Lily’s idea to write an open letter to him, saying all the things we would have said if we’d been given the chance to say goodbye. It proves to be an immensely difficult task though, and one which neither of us gets through without breaking down.

  Mel stays for dinner and then leaves with a promise to drop by soon. “Why don’t you chill out while I help Lily clear up?” Cal says as he kisses me lightly on the lips. It’s the first time since this morning that he’s shown me any real affection, I hope it means I’m forgiven.

  Lily and Deacon are both asleep and we’re getting ready for our trip to Strata when I hear vigorous knocking at the front door. Our recent spate of visitors have been most definitely unwelcome, and as we’re not expecting guests at this late hour, I walk ominously towards the front door. He doesn’t wait to be invited in as he storms past me into the house.

  “Ah, Mr. Rada, to what do we owe this pleasure?” Cal asks caustically. I shoot him a warning glance.

  “Don’t be so flippant Cadet Remus, you know exactly why I’m here, I’m done with the small talk. Sit,” he orders. I do immediately as I’m told, but I have to drag Cal down into a seating position on the couch—now is not the time to get rebellious! “Where is Ben?” he asks.

  “We don’t know,” I say truthfully. He slams his fists down on the table shattering the glass and I nearly expire with fright.

  “He was being hounded by your Rangers the last time we saw him, so why don’t you go ask them,” Cal snarls. Zolt gets to his feet and puts his face directly in front of Cal.

  “Do I need to remind you of our conversation from last night?” he says and the naked threat in his tone is unmistakable. “I won’t be so charitable next time, no more second chances. Comply or risk the lives of those you love,” he sneers. Then he drops the bombshell.

  “That we can easily do, Commander Skyee’s death aroused no suspicion at all.”

  CHAPTER 23

  It’s like I’m having an out of body experience, as if I’m not really there, the numbness I feel dulls all of my senses. I slump automatically to the ground and hug my arms tightly around my knees. I sit there in a daze. After an indeterminable amount of time, I’m conscious of him lightly shaking me and calling my name repeatedly. I look up and see the empathy and sorrow in his eyes. I am slowly coming to but I can’t form any words and my body is so weak that it refuses to move. I don’t object when he lifts me onto the sofa and forces me to drink the spicy, sweet liquid; it burns as it slides down my throat. I feel it soothing me internally and gradually my state of disorientation lifts.

  “Ariana, please say something,” he implores. It takes a few minutes for the words to form cohesively.

  “I didn’t imagine it, did I?” I whisper. I’m secretly praying it’s not real.

  “No, and there was no mistaking the intention. He wants you to know they killed your father, it’s to frighten you into total submission.”

  “Well, it’s worked,” I tell him, my voice bordering on hysterical.

  “No, Ariana!” he says intensely. “Don’t you see, that’s the very reason why you can’t!” He’s on his feet now.

  “What about the others Cal? Can you live with yourself if they suffer the same fate as my father?” I ask him in an equally impassioned tone. He has no response to that.

  “We must comply, it’s what everyone has asked of us,” I whisper in his ear as I think of the requests from my father, Ben and Zolt. “We need to bide our time, it’s the smartest thing to do.” To do anything else would be suicide, but patience has never been Cal’s strong point.

  “Let’s wait half an hour and then head to Strata,” he whispers back. I don’t have any strength left to argue so we sit in silence, curled up on the sofa until he signals it’s time to leave. The rovercraft starts up smoothly and we pull out onto the empty road. The sense of apprehension I feel intensifies the closer we get to Strata.

  “This doesn’t feel right,” I tell Cal as we get out of the car.

  He is meticulous in his inspection of the area and there’s no evidence of any tampering whatsoever, but I still feel
a strong sense of unease. Once inside the screen, I insist that we check for signs of monitoring equipment in the woods, but our search turns up empty. I struggle to relax, but my sense of foreboding seems to be misplaced, so I try to reduce my anxiety.

  “Tell me what you know,” he says as we sit down in our usual spot. I update him briefly on my first visit to Strata and on the contents of my dad’s letter, I don’t go into detail though and I deliberately omit any mention of the stolen information and the anti-truth serum.

  “I didn’t know my father was working with the resistance movement, I knew he was unhappy with the government but he never mentioned anything specific. He was vocal about my cooperation in the pageant, at the time I thought it was to avoid any unwanted scrutiny of my family, but now I’m not so sure. Whatever he did, I know it was to protect me.”

  “Zolt seems to think the rebels have a need for us, is that true?” he asks.

  “I don’t know. I don’t know how we could possibly help...” and I’m genuinely at a loss for words, because I don’t have enough knowledge to form any viable opinion on the nature of our required involvement, if any.

  “Is Zane working with the rebels?” he asks me.

  “I assume so, it’s the most logical conclusion.”

  “Careful Ari!”

  I freeze at the sound of Zane’s voice. The alarm must show clearly on my face as Cal immediately asks what’s wrong.

  “Nothing, I’m fine.”

  “Dammit Ariana, stop concealing things from me!” he shouts out as he gets up and kicks the bark of the nearest tree in frustration.

  “You’ll think I’m crazy.”

  “No, I won’t; far from it,” he responds.

  “Zane just spoke to me.”

  “What did he say?”

  “He only called my name, but I heard him as clearly as if he was standing right here beside me.”

  “He’s trying to send you a message, let’s keep quiet and see if he makes contact with you again,” he says earnestly. I’ve got to admit, he’s pretty adept at handling all this weird stuff. We sit silently for a while and I try to blank my mind, to keep it unoccupied, in case Zane tries to communicate with me again. But it’s no good, I don’t hear anything else and at this stage I’m not convinced that I didn’t just imagine it in the first place.

  “Do you think your dad knows what’s going on?” I ask him.

  “I’m sure he knows something, it would explain his disapproval of you.”

  “Maybe you should go talk to him,” I suggest.

  “There’s no point, I know where his loyalty lies,” he says rigidly.

  “What did Ben mean?” I ask him.

  “I’m not sure, he was quite cryptic. I think he meant for us to comply with the authorities and wait for the signal from the rebels.”

  “That’s consistent with what my father said and I don’t see that we’ve any other choice. But you’ve got to control your temper Cal! I know you’re frustrated, I am too, but it’s dangerous to resist. We’ll participate in the ‘Amor Regale’ and look like it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to us. Let’s just hope that the rebels arrive quickly.”

  Cal takes my hand in his. “As long as we’re real I can pretend the rest. The only good thing to come out of this is that we’re together. Whatever happens, know I only want to be with you, that’s never going to change,” he says.

  “I know, and you know that I feel the same,” I say ineloquently.

  “Why did they have to kill my dad?” I ask him as the pain runs deep.

  “They either felt threatened by him or it was meant as a message for the rebels,” he says. I wish my father had confided more in me, but I suppose he was right to shield me from it, I’m in enough trouble as it is. Still it hurts that he dealt with all this alone and now he has paid the ultimate price. “We will resist, for your dad, make life difficult and fight; when the time comes,” Cal says boldly.

  “You think it will come to that?”

  “Yeah, but I guess it all depends on the plans the rebels have in mind. I hate being kept in the dark, we need answers and soon.” I agree and I share his frustration.

  “Can we get out of here now?” I beseech.

  “Sure, why are you so nervous?”

  “I know it seems unreasonable but it’s an instinct, a feeling. Either that or I’m just totally paranoid at this point,” I answer.

  “Paranoia would be understandable but I don’t think we should discount your keen intuition. Let’s not come here again unless it’s absolutely essential,” he says as he looks over his shoulder. I seem to have unnerved him too and we both move quickly through the woodland. I suffer severe palpitations as he peels back the screen, convinced that the authorities are waiting outside to take us into custody. But the road is empty, like last time. All the same, I’m greatly relieved when we’re safely inside the rovercraft and heading back home.

  Zane is attending a formal military briefing. There are several men and women around the table and they’re all staring closely at a map that is digitally displayed on a large screen in the center. It’s the layout of some building and they’re vocally discussing various entry and exit points.

  The next morning we’re officially announced as the Aqua representatives in the ‘Amor Regale’. Fenuka arrives at the house after we’ve finished breakfast to confirm she’s our official coordinator for the event, I take plenty of comfort from that. It’ll be nice to have a friendly face along for the ride. She runs through the process and gives us a schedule for the next sixteen days. This afternoon we’re being interviewed at the convention center by Dolores Lambten, she’s been tasked with interviewing the chosen couples from all seven Regions. We have to make the trip to Illumina tomorrow so I only have today to visit my mother and make arrangements for Lily and Deacon. I wave Fenuka off promising that I’ll meet her later.

  Cal heads to the Academy after depositing all of us directly to the NMF entrance. I look at his retreating back, missing him already; he walks purposefully, but I can see the tension in his gait. Dr. Zousa collects us from reception and brings us down to her office. I make my request of her first and she’s delighted to have Lily and Deacon stay for the few weeks I’m in Illumina. At least that’s one worry alleviated. I ask about Mom’s progress. Apparently she’s starting to respond positively to the medication but is still struggling to fight the crippling depression that’s taken hold of her. She warns us not to expect too much and not to make any demands on her.

  “So what should we do? How should we act?” I enquire as I have no idea how to handle this situation.

  “The best thing you can do is listen and be non-judgmental, you don’t need to pretend it hasn’t happened but keep the conversation light,” she tells us.

  “You ready Lil, Deacon?” I ask them and they both nod their heads in affirmation.

  We follow Dr. Zousa down a few corridors until we reach the entrance to the psychiatric wing. We have to scan our data-cuffs at numerous doors and security check-points on the way, and finally we’re outside Mom’s room. Dr. Zousa knocks gently on the door and then ushers us in. The room is a surprise: I had imagined a clinical, sterile environment, but it’s decorated in calming hues of pale blue, green and white. Mom is propped up in bed and she looks very ... serene. I notice several family pictures on her nightstand.

  “Anneka, you have some visitors,” Dr. Zousa says.

  “Hi Mom,” Lily says quietly as she tentatively reaches out to hug her.

  “Hi girls, Deacon,” she says as she reaches out her arms and envelops us in a big group hug. Lily and I grin to each other, this is more than I’d hoped for. I can tell that Dr. Zousa is greatly relieved. Deacon is still wrapped around Mom and he has his eyes shut tight, the separation is tough for all of us but it’s hardest on him. Dr. Zousa tells us we have ten minutes as she exits the room. Lily chats away about school and I take the opportunity to slyly study Mom. She looks well, but there’s a huge sadness lingering at the
back of her eyes and a vagueness which suggests the depth of the pain she’s struggling with. “I hear you’ve been chosen for the ‘Amor Regale’,” she says to me.

  “Yes, we leave tomorrow. Lily and Deacon are staying at Eve’s while I’m away,” I tell her in case she’s worried.

  “That’s good, how do you feel about it?” she asks.

  “I’m ... happy about it, Cal is ... great,” I say pathetically, trying to be light as Dr. Zousa advised. Mom looks unconvinced—I need to do better. “Honestly, I don’t know why I was so worried, we’re crazy about each other. This is better than I could’ve hoped for,” I say gaily as I try to visualize how Eve would respond in this situation. Mom seems to accept this on face value and I feel my shoulders visibly relax.

  “Are you coming home soon Mom?” Deacon begs and I can hear the desperation in his plea; she looks distraught.

  “Mom will be home as soon as the doctor says she can leave. We wouldn’t want her to come back until she’s better, sure we wouldn’t?” I say in the hope of dispelling the emotion in the room. Just then Dr. Zousa reappears and says we need to go, Mom needs her rest. I feel the tears well in my eyes and I try desperately to push them away before anyone notices.

  As she hugs me, she whispers lucidly in my ear, “No matter what, never lose sight of who you are.”

  ***

  Lily heads to class and I make the trip back to Aqua with Deacon. I drop him off at school and make my way to the Convention center. I spot Cal making his way up the steps so I call out to him. We travel upstairs together and the feel of his hand in mine gives me strength, knowing that I have him by my side gives me a level of confidence that I wouldn’t ordinarily feel in this situation. He kisses me goodbye outside the door; I have to practically prise myself away from him, such is the depth of my need.

  Fenuka gets to work on making me camera-ready. Once my make-up is applied she hands me a figure hugging white knee length dress to wear. It has long black sleeves and black contours that make my figure appear sleeker than normal. I majorly struggle to walk in the towering high heels she gives me, but considering I will be seated for the interview I should manage. As I look at my reflection in the mirror, I note that I look sophisticated without being adversely mature. I give myself a little pep talk and in a perverse way I’m actually looking forward to this; let the charades begin.