True Calling

by Siobhan Davis

  “How did you get involved in all this?” I ask Zane.

  “Clementia needed my computer skills. I turned them down at first but then I changed my mind,” he tells us.

  “What changed your mind?” Cal asks him.

  “Ari; I knew my chances of getting her back were greatly enhanced if I became involved with Clementia,” he says sincerely.

  “Then I would’ve done the same,” Cal replies. It’s the first time they’ve agreed on anything, it’s a start although it’s still extremely tentative.

  “Your dad also helped sway me,” Zane adds.

  “So he was working with Clementia? That much was true?” I ask.

  “Yes, he wanted his family away from the clutches of the authorities. He asked me to make it happen, I owe him that much,” he says, and I hear the blatant suffering in his voice.

  “You two were close?” I ask.

  “Your dad was like a surrogate father to me after my own dad died, I feel his loss the same,” he says quietly. None of us speaks for a few minutes.

  “I think we should leave now,” Zane says, breaking the silence. “I’m not comfortable here either. I know I took a risk asking you to meet me here, but I couldn’t wait any longer to see you. These last two years have been so tough, it’s like a part of me died when you left,” he says as he clenches his hands tightly together. I sense he’s fighting the urge to touch me. Cal raises his eyes to the sky but thankfully keeps quiet.

  “Zane, I,” I pause because I really don’t know what to say to that.“I’m so grateful for all you’ve done—are doing—truly I am. I know that’s not what you want to hear but...” I trail off at a loss for words.

  He looks upset but merely says,“We can take our time getting to know each other again.” I see the look of intense displeasure on Cal’s face as we make our way to the exit point. “Agent Dale will keep you appraised, I’ll be in touch. Stay safe,” Zane says in parting. I give him a hesitant hug but keep him firmly at arms length, there’s no sense in goading Cal any further this evening. Zane strides forward quickly and fluidly retracts the screen, so there’s no time to register any terror. The street is empty and silent. He runs over to the waiting hovercraft and jumps in, it takes off immediately. Cal ensures the screen is secured before we make our way home.

  “Well, what do you think?” I ask when we’re safely back in the house.

  “I much preferred it when he was your brother,” he says dryly.

  ***

  Raina and Agent Dale arrive promptly. I introduce them to Lily and Deacon as Dad’s friends, and tell them there’s more official paperwork to be finalized. They both willingly go to their rooms. Agent Dale takes Cal aside in the dining room to extract the camscan and discuss his trip to NSAF. Raina and I work together in the living area. She shows me a technique for communicating with her, and we practice it several times until I think my head might burst with the mental exertion. However, we’ve made good progress and are deftly engaging in silent conversation when the men come into the room. “Time to evac,” Agent Dale says and Raina clasps my hands in hers.

  “Good work Ariana. See if you can send me a message later, it takes more effort if the person is not in the immediate vicinity. Practice as much as you can. See you same time tomorrow.”

  ***

  I lie restlessly in bed, alone. Today has been an emotionally charged day, and I’m drained. I force myself to confront my feelings for Zane. He is fit, in a boy-next-door kind of way; I allow myself to acknowledge the fact. I can completely understand how I fell for him, he seems loyal and reliable and ... solid, dependable. He only once came close to losing his temper when Cal was inciting him. I don’t have any romantic feelings for him though—any emotions I had are clearly so deeply hidden to have been completely forgotten. I know I must have shared an intense bond with him, but that’s in the past. I’ve chosen a life with Cal, and nothing that’s happened has changed my mind. I know Zane will be disappointed, but I can’t turn back the clock, life has moved on and so must he. I’d like to think that we can be friends: anyone that goes to such lengths to ensure my survival at least earns the right to my friendship. I hope it can be enough for him, but I’m not sure that it will.

  “Ari,” I hear him call inside my mind and I wonder how long he’s been listening. It seems we’ve gained our privacy back on one hand, but on the other, I’ve lost my precious inner privacy. I’m starting to feel resentful.

  “What Zane? Can a girl not think in confidence anymore?” I say silently, and I hope I have embedded enough venom into my tone. I must remember to ask Raina if it’s possible to inflict emotion in my silent communications.

  “It’s not my intention to invade your privacy; anyway I can’t hear your thoughts, my talent doesn’t work like that. I have something I need to tell you, it didn’t feel appropriate to mention it today,” he says.

  “OK, go on,” I encourage him.

  “How are you sure Cal deserves your trust?” he asks. I’m immediately on the defensive which I know is a bit unfair.

  “How can you be so sure that he’s not to be trusted?” I turn it back on him.

  “Ari, Agent Dale told me that Commander Remus shot your father’s stealth-craft out of the sky.” It’s a bolt from the blue, and it has the desired effect; I’m shaken.

  “Is he sure?”

  “Categorically. I’m sorry Ari.” I only have to think for a minute.

  “This doesn’t change the way I feel about Cal, he’s never gotten on with his dad, and I’m certain he has no knowledge of this. Whatever you think of him, you’re mistaken,” I say.

  “If you believe he’s trustworthy then I accept that,” he says, and I’m relieved.

  “Thank you. Can you convince the other non-believers? It’s upsetting for both of us, and there are bigger things to be worrying about,” I reply.

  “Sure. And Ari ... I know this is hard for you. I’m so happy to see you again, getting you to safety has always been my main priority, anything else would be a bonus,” he says.

  “I told you I won’t give you false hope, we can be friends, no more.”

  “That’s enough—for now. We started out as friends anyway,” he says. It’s so hard not having access to any of my memories.

  “I didn’t know that.”

  “I can fill you in when we’re back on Earth if you like,” he says.

  “Sure,” I say though I don’t know if that will benefit either of us. “I’m shattered Zane. Good night, see you soon.”

  “Sleep well Ari.” And despite my dramatic day, I fall into a quick and deep sleep.

  The next morning I appraise Cal of my conversation with Zane. I know he thinks I‘m keeping things from him, and I’m keen to show him it’s not the case. He goes really white at the news that his father played a part in my father’s death. “Ariana,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry, he disgusts me! I’m ashamed to be related to him. I should have killed him when I had the chance,” he rages.

  “Ssshh, Cal, you don’t mean that. I know you’re better than that, and you’re not accountable for his actions.”

  “No wonder they were suspicious of me,” he says.

  I groan when the reminder pings on my data-cuff. “What?” he asks.

  “I forgot that Fenuka arranged a stupid appointment with the wedding planner for this morning, I better go face the music,” I say tetchily. I expect him to react adversely to my expression of anti-wedding rhetoric, but he passes no comment either way.

  Keela, the wedding planner, wants to set a date within the next month, but I insist that I want it pushed out as far as possible. She seems to think my views are negotiable as she attempts to cajole me into bringing it forward, Fenuka has to intervene before it turns nasty. It’s certainly not the best start to our working relationship. I speak to Fenuka briefly about what will become of Lily and Deacon, and she promises to make enquiries.

  Raina shows up promptly at eight, and we take off where we left things the previous ni
ght. I practice sending both her and Zane messages as we test the level of my ability. She explains how to expand my mind and search for thoughts and feelings in others. I can’t detect her mind, but I have more success at breaking into Zane’s head. “How is it that I can access his feelings when he isn’t even here?”

  “You share a powerful connection and your mind is more accustomed to his,” she says this just as Cal walks into the living area. I try to search his head to see if I can access his thoughts, without success. It doesn’t matter anyway, I can tell how unhappy he is just by looking at his face.

  Cal is very quiet after Raina has left. I know all of this is difficult for him, but I don’t know how to make it right, or if that’s even possible. “What are you thinking?” I ask him finally in an attempt to get him to open up to me. He looks at me sadly.

  “I know none of this is your fault Ariana, but this whole situation just sucks.”

  “This is hard for all of us. I have no romantic feelings for him anymore, but he’s risked so much for me and I can’t shut him out or ignore him. At some point he meant a lot to me, that counts for something. He’s going to be in my life, you’ll just have to find a way to deal with it,” I say softly because I don’t want him to get the wrong message. He looks deeply troubled. “Cal, you mean the world to me, you know that. You need to trust me,” I say tiredly. I’m starting to resent having to reassure him all the time, though I know that’s insensitive, and not entirely fair.

  “It’s not you I don’t trust,” he says, and I understand his meaning.

  “Cal, he knows how I feel about you. I really don’t think he’d do anything unless I felt the same way he did.”

  “That’s precisely what I’m afraid of. What if your memories return Ariana? And you realize you love him more than me?” I struggle to respond because I don’t know if he’s right. If my memories come back, I have no idea how I’ll feel. He’s looking at me anxiously, awaiting my response.

  “Even if my memories resurface, they’re only memories Cal. It won’t alter the feelings I have for you,” I say honestly, and it’s as much reassurance as I can offer.

  I feel him in my head, like a silent trespasser before he makes himself known. That’s a first—my gift is definitely growing stronger. “Eavesdropping again Zane?” I ask silently.

  “Ari, I know you think it’s deliberate but it’s not. I need to ask you something,” he responds.

  “So ask me.” I watch Cal, watching me intently. “It’s Zane,” I tell him before he asks the obvious. He sighs in frustration but makes no attempt to leave. “What’s up Zane?” I ask.

  “Ari, I need to meet with you on your own. No pressure, but there are things I have to tell you, things I can’t say with him there. Will you meet me, please?” he asks. I’m really conflicted. I don’t want to do anything that would cause Cal to doubt me but Zane isn’t really asking for much and it seems like the least I can do after everything he’s done for me. Plus he knows how I feel, and nothing he says will change that, so I agree. “6 p.m. tomorrow in Strata. I’ll go on foot, let’s keep this between us,” he says.

  “Agreed,” I say and I sense him leaving. Cal is sitting there anxiously, some explanation is required. “We were just practising accessing each other’s minds. I could sense he was there before he spoke, that hasn’t happened before,” I say. He seems to accept my explanation readily; it only serves to exacerbate my guilty feelings, so I fling myself onto his lap and bury my head in his chest. His arms wrap tightly around me, and I hold onto him for dear life. He might not have a direct line to my thoughts, but I hope that my actions speak louder than words.

  We visit Mom the next morning on our way to school, she’s still so distant, and unlike herself. Dr. Zousa confirms that her progress is inconsistent. There’s no indication as to when she’ll be well enough to come back home. I say goodbye to Lily in the reception area and take Deacon to school.

  Cal is waiting for me outside Deacon’s school, we link hands as we make our way to the Velo station. It’s hard to look him straight in the eye, when I’m planning on sneaking off later to meet up with Zane; he’d be so upset if he knew. I wonder is this what my life will be like, going forward? Feeling caught between the two of them all the time. I can’t exist like that, this is the first and last time I’ll be deceptive, I decide. I try to assuage my feelings of guilt by admitting it’s less hurtful for Cal if he never knows about it, but I’m only kidding myself. I spend most of the day wondering how I’m going to get away undetected but, as it turns out, I don’t end up needing any excuse.

  My data-cuff pings when I’m in my final class of the day. Mercifully Cal is sitting beside me, and he helps calm me down. Lily has been injured in an accident, and she’s been admitted to the hospital wing. Cal naturally comes with me, and I’m frantic with worry the whole journey to Prism. I only calm down after I see that she’s okay. She explains how she tripped and fell coming down the stairs and landed painfully on her left arm. The doctor confirms it’s a clean break and easily mended. She’s also bruised some of her ribs. She is scheduled for a medi-scan in the morning, so in the meantime, they’re going to keep her in overnight for observation.

  “Ari,” I hear Zane call me.

  “Sorry, I got held up but...” I start to respond, but he interrupts me.

  “It’s a trap, don’t come!”

  CHAPTER 28

  Zane has tuned out. What did he mean? I feel the bile rise in my throat as the sense of horror I feel threatens to overwhelm me. I need to know what’s going on, so I determinedly focus my mind and see the action as it unfolds. The Rangers have cuffed his hands behind his back, and they’re towing him, roughly, from the hideout. Commander Remus is waiting outside the screen; he stuns him with his hand-held weapon and Zane is rendered unconscious. The Rangers place his slackened body in the back of the rovercraft, and they speed off into the distance.

  “Raina!” I call out silently.

  “I saw it too. Don’t worry, they won’t hurt him, he’s far too valuable.”

  “We have to get him out!” I hope I’m shouting it.

  “We will. Please stay calm, there’s a possibility they were hoping to capture you too. Don’t give them any reason, stay safe,” she says as she zones out.

  I’m terrified for Zane. This is all my fault, he’s only in Novo because of me. I should have refused to meet him, then he wouldn’t have been captured. I hope Raina’s assessment is correct, I don’t know what I’ll do if anything happens to him on my account. “Zane,” I call out desperately, but I can’t connect. I assume he’s still knocked out.

  Cal can tell something is up and he peers at me quizzically. “We have to go Lil, will you be all right?” I ask.

  “Sure,” she answers in a slurred voice.

  “They’ve sedated her,” Cal whispers. For a fleeting moment, I wish I could trade places. I can understand why Cal got drunk, the temptation to blot everything out is enticing.

  ***

  I update him as soon as we walk through the door. If he’s suspicious of why Zane was in the hideout in the first place, he doesn’t say anything.

  “You were right.”

  “About what?” I ask.

  “You sensed something was wrong at the hideout, the authorities must have installed surveillance.”

  “Why didn’t they arrest us last time?” I muse. I can see him mulling it over.

  “I think they were gathering intell.” I know he’s hit the nail on the head.

  “Then they know we’re playing both sides! It’s inevitable that they’re coming for us,” I say with resignation.

  “They can’t confine us indefinitely Ariana. We’re the Novo Silentium couple, people will notice if we’re missing, and there’s the small matter of our wedding,” he says logically. I know he’s right about this too, but I’m certain the authorities won’t let this go unpunished. I automatically reach out for him; the warmth of his body is comforting, but it doesn’t distill the chill I
feel all over.

  We both hear the vehicle pull up at the same time, and we jointly move towards the front door. I’m hugely surprised to see Commander De Luca mounting the steps, but I compose my expression in time. “I need a word with you both,” he says.

  “You can say whatever you came to say right here,” Cal says stubbornly as he blocks him from entering the house.

  “The president is indisposed, so he asked me to pay you a visit on his behalf. Zane is being held for questioning. We know about the rebel mission, and we’re rounding up all other insurgents. Refusing to cooperate with us will be counter-productive. The president wants to remind you that your loved ones can be easily dealt with at the flick of a switch.” His distinct intonation is an intentional reminder of the conversation we had with Zane a few short days ago. So they were listening. “You’re the Novo Silentium couple and you will get married—the date is set for three week’s time. The president says this is your final warning, do you understand?” We both nod as we know we’re not in any position to bargain. “Very well,” Commander De Luca says as he turns on his heel.

  I shut the door firmly behind us. “He’s on our side,” I whisper to Cal. I know the house is supposedly safe, but the events of today have brought everything into question. “He’s the guy who gave me the notes.”

  “Have you heard anything from Zane yet?” he asks.

  “No, you’ll be the first to know,” I tell him.

  “Ariana,” I hear Raina call. “We’ll have to stay away, to protect you both. I’ll advise you of the plan when it’s in place. Let me know if Zane makes contact. Keep practising and stay safe,” she says.

  “Who was that?” Cal asks me.

  “Raina.” A disturbing thought lodges in my brain. “How do you know when I’m talking silently?” I enquire.

  “You kind of freeze a little and your expression goes blank, I’ve learned to tell the signs.” I frown.