by Kenna Bardot
And not a lot of them had liked me, nor had anything good to say about me. To my face or behind my back.
"Yup. You'd already won the Challenge before they chose me to serve at Godsvail, so I only knew of you by name but you have a near-God like reputation." She nodded her head at me and bounced on her toes.
"Does she?" Gatlin, one of my classmates, spoke up and I turned to face him. There was nothing but a curiosity in his voice and in his dark teal eyes.
Cyrille turned to her and beamed. "Yup. The Descendants she used to serve? Three of them were still there when I arrived, but they touched none of the humans there nor any of the other Descendants." Her voice lowered as she cupped a hand around her mouth. "She was legendary, capturing their attention, their loyalty, and their dicks like that. Everybody wanted to know how she did it. Those who were not fans could not deny that she'd done something. People tried to tempt the twins and the Svadeni out of spite, but they just would not budge."
I felt a pang in my heart when I remembered what had recently happened, but all I did was pat the girl's head and smile. It did not reach my eyes. "Yes well, they seem to have been cured of that trap now. Maybe they’ll enjoy you next,” I suggested, trying to avoid the gaze of all the others who looked in on me with pity. "You all think it, don't you? I think so too. I can't blame you for doing the same." I shook my head, and I knew I threw them all a sad look. If they had not heard of what happened the day before, it would surprise me. Because this girl, Cyrille, was wrong. I could not give her any tips.
Because I had not kept them. Not in the way she said it. They'd grown tired of waiting, waiting because I hadn't done all I could to ensure that they understood that I was waiting for them too.
"It was nice meeting you, Cyrille. And no matter what you might believe or know about me. I'm just me. I have not forgotten that, and I never, ever will. That's something I would rather be known for than being the girl who trapped five dicks."
I turned around and ignored the looks that Willa and the others gave me. Theo took a step forward and spoke, “Mireyah? You okay? I shook my head and turned my head away from him as I shook off Cyrille's hand on my arm.
And walked off with my heart aching.
Because I had lied to them, but I could not lie to myself. I wanted to be the girl who had trapped five dicks. Hell, I wanted to be the one who had trapped five hearts.
Chapter 6
Mireyah
Before breakfast, I’d been told that they had suspended every other activity for the day, and instead, we were to all meet in the room off the archives and just below the library. All our professors would meet us there - or so they said.
When I’d told Astraea and Lysandra where I headed after breakfast, they’d shared glances before looking at me.
Differently, knowingly.
I shuddered to think about what might happen. Because they'd been worried and scared for me, and for them to both to react that way meant I was screwed. Royally screwed.
As I stood with my classmates inside the dimmed, cramped room, it did nothing to stop me from thinking about it.
The door opened quickly but soundlessly and all our instructors stepped in - Colm along with the others - the Leven, Nastroj, Byta, Springen and Vide. But they were quiet. They did not look at us, did not address us. They kept their faces straight and lined up, as if in a firing squad, at the very front of the room.
It felt like the correct way to describe them - a firing squad. I felt like I would be killed, if not physically then our souls were sure to suffer.
The door did not close behind them, and Caprice walked in and for being so tiny; she commanded the attention of the entire room. As a Sylfe, I could more clearly see the way she seemed to glow, a presence that not even the normal Gods could claim. She seemed to swirl towards the corner of the room before melting into the darkness. But she could not truly hide because she pulled us in, pulled us in just by being there.
"Children," Colm spoke up with a fond smile. Sometimes, I wondered how it was someone as kind as he had become a Svadeni. When Svadenis had a reputation not for warmth, but for seduction. Uncaring, sexual and vain. "Today, we wish to know you all better. Determine if some of you could already walk in the presence of the Gods. Could already attract their attention so you too may Ascend.”
I heard the barely controlled squeal that Willa released, even as I felt Theo beside me expel a long, slow breath. “We will ask you questions. Just one for each of you. We will listen to your answer. No one is to react and to ensure that we will take precautions to isolate you somewhat.” He stopped and stared towards the corner where Caprice was.
Moments later, a glow emanated from the ground and wrapped itself around me and with it, my vision of the rest of the room. With the gasps that sounded around me, my classmates reacting to what had happened, it became obvious we had not moved, but Caprice had blocked our vision.
"Do not be alarmed," Colm's disembodied voice echoed around me. "We have not taken your vision but made it so you can only be heard when you are addressed. All we ask from you is your honesty and no matter what happens at the end of all of this, the hope is you can move forward or stay on your own unique journeys.”
Only silence was his answer as no one spoke. Colm cleared his throat, and I could imagine him looking at the rest of the Sylfeshire instructors before he spoke, "As no one has questions, we will begin."
"Mr. Gatlin, you are first. Our question for you is simple and straightforward: Do you feel that you are ready to be a God?"
There was a pause before Gatlin spoke, his voice full and masculine though it trembled with uncertainty. "Yes. I believe that I have almost always been ready." He paused and for a moment I felt like he was about to say something but the silence dragged on before Colm spoke, "Is that all?"
"Yes." And this time he sounded defeated.
There was something to be said for hearing and not seeing. It was very easy to read and hear emotions and nuances that would have been missed under normal circumstances.
"Ms. Gennifer," Colm said after another long pause. "How are you feeling?"
"A little scared, to be honest, Sir Colm." And it was true, I could hear how her voice seemed to shrink tinier, rising about an octave higher that would have betrayed the emotion even if she hadn't spoken of it.
"No need to be scared, Ms. Gennifer. No harm will come to any of you. Trust me." A slight intake of her breath before Colm continued. "Our question for you: Do you know what you would do once you Ascend?"
"I will make sure I never feel weak again." She sniffled, and I heard scuffling sounds. I had a feeling that she was crying, or very near it at the very least.
"And have you ever felt weak then?"
Another sniffle, a wet sound that had me cringing. "Yes. And I want to forget how it feels."
I caught myself shaking my head, because while I too hated the feeling of being weak, I would never want to forget how it felt. There was power in remembering the feeling, to enable empathy, and give the power a stronger quality. There was strength in evolving from weakness.
"Okay. Thank you." I heard footsteps sounding nearer to where I stood and when he spoke, his voice was nearer too, "Mr. Theo?"
"Yes?"
"Do you think you can affect change?"
I heard Theo expel breath, or so I imagined it came from him as I waited for him to respond, closing my eyes because I knew that my time drew closer.
"With some qualms and reservation, I believe that change cannot be affected by just one individual." Another step and the sensation of someone walking closer.
“And?" Colm questioned. The way he said it, I could almost see that smile on his face - that questioning, irritating smile he wore all the damn time.
"And I believe that a God would have the wherewithal to effect change. As to the desire, it is something that is internal. If change is demanded of someone who does not want it, then more bad than good might be done."
A chuckle, barely heard b
ut there. "Okay. And would you, how did you phrase it, have the wherewithal or desire to do so?"
He sighed, and I wanted to giggle at the reaction. "Perhaps," he answered. If he had been nervous or scared at the start, impatience had replaced that. I knew for certain he was the sort of person not to suffer fools. Perhaps in a different life, we could have even been very good friends.
"Hmm. Okay then. Let's move on, shall we?" I drew in a sharp intake of breath and felt my heart thud in my chest. I didn't know why it mattered so much. I found myself hoping I could just be like Lysandra and say fuck it, I'd rather go to the Unwanted Lands. But I didn't know if I had the strength to do that.
Or the bravery.
It was horrifying to think I could be so weak about such a choice.
"Ms. Mireyah." His voice was right next to my ear. I held out my arms and felt nothing but air, even when I knew he could be only a foot away. It was a disconcerting sensation that brought my final challenge in Godsvail sharply to the forefront of my memories. "Yes, Ms. Mireyah. Our latest Sylfe. You move up so quickly, it's quite a shock. Tell us, do you feel you should be equal to the Gods?"
Of course, I would get the question about the stupid Gods. "I feel that the Gods should serve me. The mark of a true leader is one who can serve, just as well as they lead."
No one spoke and even seeing nothing, the tense silence that permeated made it obvious just what they thought of my answer.
"And would you be the same in the event you become a God?" Colm broke the silence, a smile in his voice; an amusement so palpable, I wondered that he was not chuckling when he spoke.
"Yes, I would. I would see it as an honour to serve and be served. To be an equal to all." I balled my hands into fists, feeling them tremble uncontrollably.
"Will you want humans to serve you then, Mireyah?" I sighed, because I had a feeling it would be a hardship to stop them. I voiced my opinion just so. His reply came quickly, clipped and unemotional, "You seem to have a very low opinion of most of the people you have left behind."
"I do not deny this to be true. However, I would like to clarify that I am not generalizing this. Some humans are more like me, but it would be difficult to find them amongst those who are desperate to serve.” A dark thought crossed my mind and for the first time since plunging into the darkness, I wished I could see.
I was desperate to wipe the amusement in Colm's face with a well-aimed fist.
"Okay then, Mireyah. There is no need for violence." An airy sensation seemed to wrap around my arm, lightly prying my fingers apart. "Thank you."
I felt rather than heard as Colm turned towards Willa and spoke, asking another heart-wrenching, soul-crushing question. And I could not hear it, did not know what was being said - not what he asked, nor what she answered. Because my mind screamed.
Without the guys to look forward to, without their touch, their voices and their love, there was nothing keeping me there. Keeping me wanting to become a God.
I tuned everything out and prayed for my day to end.
✽✽✽
Tate
Being able to see the others was a blessing and a miracle. As if it wasn't hard enough being separated from Mireyah, life in Mt. Demiorgo had tried to shoehorn us into fitting into the mold that all the other Gods followed. Living close to our Houses, staying in our region and fighting with those from our conflicting Regions.
We didn't tolerate it, but that didn't mean the system didn't do what it could to keep us separated. We all waited for the day when we could claim Mireyah as ours, unite ourselves through the Sire bond so we could form our own familial unit.
Unorthodox?
Absolutely, but it was the only thing that would ever bring any of us any kind of happiness. Not only would we have Mireyah, but we could finally have each other outside of the rare stolen moments where we managed to sneak away. I couldn't wait for the day when we lived under one roof again, when we didn't need to sneak around because Mireyah could be the public glue that held us together.
They would see our sexual proclivities with one another as much more tolerable if we were doing our duty and assisting with the creation of the next generation. It might not be preferred, considering Mireyah was only one female, but they'd tolerate it.
I had to believe that or I might go mad.
In one of the rare times where we all gathered in the Capital City of Demiorgo, we found each other quickly. We'd long since established a meeting place in the City Square where we listened to the announcements together.
Caprice stepped up to the mountain peak, looking down into the square where we all gathered. I knew from a first glance that everyone I could see was unwed. All single Gods and Goddesses. Staring up at Caprice could only mean one thing.
A Sylfe was about to be Unveiled.
I shared a glance with Ryle, nodding to him in support. We'd suspected Mireyah's time drew closer, with the obvious increase in the time she spent in the Viewing room.
"Welcome!" Caprice blurted, and today there was such a motherly and affectionate tone to her voice that showed plainly she was pleased. It drifted through the square and quieted all those who chatted around us. "Tomorrow, all unmarried Gods and Goddesses are invited to Sylfeshire to witness the Unveiling of not one, but two Sylfes. Both human-born, one male and one female.”
She paused, and I had to wonder why they might do two Unveilings in one day. It would make Sylfeshire crowded. Char gave me a suspicious look with his eyes narrowed, no doubt thinking the same thing. He missed nothing, observed everything around him. That had only grown more and more intense after his Ascension from what I could tell. I wanted to talk to him, wanted to touch him, but the moment was far too public for that. Gods surrounded us, and most would be uncomfortable with what we were to each other. Not that they'd never experimented with the other sex, but to actually love the same sex? Have a relationship?
That was unheard of. Frowned upon.
We needed our glue to be together, and once we had her, we would carve out a little life for ourselves.
"It is unusual that we would unveil two precious Sylfes in one day, I know," Caprice continued and her laugh highlighted the wrinkles around her eyes. "Or at least, two of opposing genders. But Colm and I have agreed that they are both prepared to take their places among you, should any of you desire it to be so. We hope you will join us tomorrow to celebrate the future of our race." She smiled calmly, eyes sparkling before stepping down off the peak to socialize with the Gods gathered who she knew personally.
One of the Gods in the group next to ours elbowed his friend in the ribs. "Another whore for the whorehouse. I'm so ready for fresh meat."
"What difference does it make? They all look the same. Pussy is pussy." His friend grinned as they walked off, and their words made me regret my own thoughts before I'd fallen in love with Mireyah.
I'd thought the same thing of Sylfeshire, didn't understand the significance of those who went there to genuinely seek a spouse. I only saw the young Gods who weren't ready for the Sire bond, only saw the way they used the Sylfes to suit their own needs without thought because they stole time from Gods who were actually genuine.
Shep stood on the other side of Char, and I could feel every muscle in his body vibrating with fury. He would contain the storm, because he had to. We had no way of knowing if the female Sylfe who would be Unveiled was Mireyah, but it didn't change the fact that those Gods would see her as nothing but another body to use when her time came. Even though I was less prone to violence than Shep or my twin, nothing would stop me from killing anyone who thought to touch my Mireyah.
Any who thought to take from her.
She was ours to touch. Ours to take. Ours to play with. Ours to possess.
As much as she might pretend to fight, she needed to kneel for us and bend for us just the same as we needed it from her. She craved our dominance and our ability to twist her up into knots and toy with her in all the ways that made her come apart so beautifully when the time
finally came.
The only thing that kept me sane was the thought of how quickly she would correct someone who tried to touch her without her permission. Hopefully, her years in Sylfeshire had taught her the differences between her rights as a Sylfe and the rights she hadn't had as a human.
Given that she’d ignored her lack of rights as a human, she was sure to be more fierce and powerful as a Sylfe.
It didn't escape my notice that she could very well rebuke our touch too. Could not let us kiss her or hug her or touch her, as we'd been dying to do. Because it had been too long and with how regimented our lives were, we hadn’t been able to visit her as often as we might want. As she might deserve.
It had been five years since I'd touched a woman. No one since Mireyah, and I couldn't wait for the day when our forced celibacy ended. I nodded to the others, my eyes connecting with Hollis' briefly as we went our separate ways. The moment was the only contact we could afford, the only way we could acknowledge that they had forced us to go our separate ways yet again.
Though Ryle and I belonged to different Houses, they were allied and allowed us slightly more freedom in our interactions with one another. We could walk to the Springen Express together, side by side.
"You think it's her?" Ryle asked me, barely glancing up at the golden architecture that encased the city center. It was literally the City of the Gods, and I imagined it looked exactly how all the humans who would never see it imagined it to be. Golden archways and towers, flowers growing from the sides of the buildings in bursts of color. A river flowed through the city, with massive bridges of embossed gold crossing over them as the waters sparkled in cerulean below. Our home in the West was less opulent, but nothing to sneeze at either. The West was a mix of metals, industrial and carving with bursts of blue throughout in honor of the three Houses that made up the region.
Majele. Nastroj. Karfi.
Blue. Silver. Gold.