by Kenna Bardot
"Well, you saw them right? What did they say?" Astraea sat beside me, one of my hands still in hers as she rubbed circles on my palm.
"I didn't ask."
"Well, why the fuck not?" Lysandra's voice burst out, anger in every syllable. "Mind you, Gods are shitheads normally but if they're as wonderful as you say they are then maybe you should ask."
"Didn't feel like the time." I shrugged. "Up to that point they'd been visiting me regularly but then things changed. But I'll ask them. Eventually."
"But -" Lysandra started but stopped with a look beside me. "Fine, next time then."
I sighed and rubbed at my eyes. “I will. Don’t worry, I will. I might die if I don’t ask them. If I don’t find out.”
“Is that why you ran up to us? On your Unveiling? Why, with all the Gods waiting desperately to speak to you, your first thought was to run to us even when we couldn’t comfort you?” Astraea ran her hand down my hair.
"Well, I knew you would be there. Lysandra said she wanted a front-row seat to the drama.” I shot Lysandra a cheeky smile that just died at the edges when I saw how serious her face was. “Mireyah.”
“Okay, yes. I did run up to you. I'm just so sad. Lost and confused and afraid. I don't know what to do, how to feel, what to say and how to act. It's like everything I wanted is here, but nothing as well. What do I do?" I sniffed back the tears, bunching my hands into fists to keep them from falling.
"Baby, you shouldn't let it build up so much. Your body will eventually betray you and it will not be fun." Astraea wrapped an arm around my torso and squeezed. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to feel comfort from her presence.
"I wanted the comfort that I knew I could get from you both. Just seeing you was enough for me." I held out a hand and could not help but smile when Astraea's long fingers wrapped around mine. "A girl's gotten spoiled spending a lot of time with you two beautiful ladies."
"Sweet talker. Did they do anything to you? I mean, I've heard what the new girl said, that Cyrille. You're a dick trap." Lysandra's mouth quirked up, and I knew that she was desperately trying to stop herself from laughing out loud.
"Dick trap?" I massaged my temple because the thought of Cyrille spreading rumours about me felt like a rotten cherry on top of shit sundae.
"Well, yeah, but in a good way. She said that you were the stuff of legends. Or," she sputtered and looked over my shoulder. I turned to face Astraea, and she wore a sheepish smile, shrugging at me the moment her eyes met mine.
"What?" I asked, annoyed. "And you call me a melodrama queen when you're the tease!"
"Well, she said your vagina was the stuff of legends. That once a dick got into it, it didn't wander. And sometimes, even just the promise of it was enough to keep a dick out of other holes." Lysandra held up a hand as I gawked at her, eyes going wide as they did so.
"What? Is that what she's saying?" my voice raised several octaves and a glance at Astraea confirmed that Lysandra wasn't lying.
"Woah, hold on. She's not doing it out of malice or spite. Jeez. She speaks of you with that glimmery look in her eyes, yeah? It feels more like she's a fangirl rather than being a bitch about it." Lysandra pulled on my hand to get me to sit back down onto the bed. I hadn't even realized that I'd surged up in annoyance.
"A fangirl?" I groaned. "Mother Rhiannon, how is that any better?"
"Well, she's not trying to destroy your life, yeah?" Lysandra threw me a sidelong glance that had me tilting my head at her.
“I guess. It’s not very comforting when she’s spouting what others who believe what Jessica is saying think is bullshit.” I sighed. “Not that I care about others per se. Just that I’m believing what Jessica is saying too. And that just destroys me, you know?”
Astraea gave my hand a supportive squeeze. “I understand how horrid it might seem but you have to ask them first before drawing any conclusions.”
“And what if she’s not lying? How would I survive?”
Lysandra hit her fist against the palm of her other hand. “I’ll kill them.”
I gave her a weak smile. “Thanks.”
“Contrary to what the violent queen is saying, we’re here and we’ll support you. You'll be fine, Mireyah. Quite fine. Now can you two get out of my bed, please?"
“Yes, your majesty,” Lysandra shot back as she pulled me to my feet.
And I laughed even as I prayed to the Gods that she was right.
Chapter 8
Mireyah
I squared my shoulders and took a deep breath. My last conversation with Lysandra and Astraea had unsettled me. They'd been wonderful, really, but they'd made me think and realize a lot of things I hadn't wanted to think or realize before.
I'd been in denial, which was something I found I was skilled at.
I wasn't ready for another Visitation, especially because I was one of the last Sylfes to have been released out into the world to walk amongst the Gods. And that meant I was still fresh, still highly desirable.
And I knew if I saw them, I needed to demand that we have that private conversation because I couldn’t really stand waiting with my thoughts. I should have learnt my lesson given what had happened with Annalee when we'd been in Godsvail. Waiting to ask a question only left me in a world of uncertainty.
I could only hope that when I asked my question, they would be honest with me. And whatever that honesty would reveal, that I could accept it whole-heartedly.
With a breath to steel myself, I walked out into the main space. Unlike how it had been during my Unveiling, there was no freshly erected ice wall. Instead, male and female Sylfes mixed and Mingled. Ready.
There were more Gods and Goddesses than there had been the last time, but I did not see Ryle's heavily built body nor Hollis' close-cropped red hair. Or any of the other guys. I sighed because I'd thought they would be there. I’d been so convinced that I would see them when I stepped out. Not seeing them there only ratcheted up my uncertainty.
It felt like more proof that I'd been right after all?
"Miss Bolstad," a voice spoke up from behind me, a very familiar voice. "Although you aren't Miss Bolstad anymore, are you?"
With wide eyes, I turned around to face him and I knew then that I should have expected it. As I pondered his statement, I felt the sadness stab through me at the truth of it. "No, not a Bolstad any longer."
Blue eyes, blue hair - it felt like ages since I'd last seen him. Since I had last acknowledged his presence. He gave me an up and down look, throwing me a satisfied smile. "And may I say it has been a delectable change? With age, you've only become more exotic, Mireyah." He leaned over to grab my hand, giving it a kiss before I could think to pull it away. The sensation of his lips hitting the back of my hand sent a tingle down my spine. I wasn’t sure how I could be more exotic when my hair and eyes labeled me the same as the rest of the Sylfes, but I tried not to read too much into the line he fed me.
Whatever fear and disgust I felt for him at the point crept into me and only had me wishing there was a way for me to run away. "Sir Lathyn," I started but stopped when he held up a hand.
"You wound me, my dear. Call me Lathyn. As I intend to be your Sire, it is only appropriate that you call me by my name.” He gave me what he must have thought to be a charming smile that I could barely stand.
I opened my mouth, struggling to think of what I could say in response. He spared me from having to do so by turning to his side the moment an Unwanted Sylfe arrived hefting a tray loaded with food and drink. "I sent a message ahead and reserved us a private nook so we might get to know one another away from this general chaos. Join me, please." He offered his elbow and for a brief second, I thought to step back and disappear into the crowd. Into the anonymity, because here was a God that I’d hated for so long who wanted me. Offered me a chance to Ascend into a prominent position.
And was I ready to welcome that?
But I looked up and saw Colm, eyebrow cocked, and I was fairly certain he'd have had quite the reac
tion to my escape wishes. He walked towards us with long strides, and I knew I had no choice but to stay and pretend I gave the first shit about Lathyn Majele’s status beyond what it could do for me.
"Lathyn," Colm said with a casual friendliness as he reached our space. "It's been a while. It has saddened many of us that you haven't been seeing any of my children."
Lathyn laughed even as he tucked my hand into the crook of his elbow harder, like he knew I would run away if I had the chance to do so. "Colm. I've been busy with my duties, given that not all of us can be fortunate enough to land a position that keeps us inside all the time. Besides, I would not dishonor my Mireyah by courting other women in her home." I felt my world tilt on its axis, the reality that Lathyn might have shown me more respect than the very men I thought to bond myself to feeling like the worst betrayal.
"Yes, we can’t all be that lucky. But we've been enslaved, haven't we?" Colm turned towards me and bared his teeth before turning the conversation, "I see you've reconnected with Mireyah. I heard you’ve taken a nook, yes?"
"Indeed. I've had one reserved and asked for food and drinks to be sent there. I'd ask you to join us, but I want my alone time with my beauty." He shot me a smile, and it took all my effort not to knee him in the groin. Such a creep.
"Of course. I'm sure Mireyah would love that, wouldn't she?” Colm asked me through gritted teeth and before I could speak up, he had grabbed my shoulder and pushed me towards the direction of the privacy nook even as Lathyn pivoted me along with him.
I gulped because I'd never wanted to be stuck in a private room with a God during visitation unless it was my Five. Because I was not in any position or inclination to give any other God what they expected once the doors to the private rooms were closed.
I sighed but had no choice since Lathyn still had my arm tucked against his side. I’d been stupid enough to go out on Visitation because I’d been blinded by my need to see and talk to my five. Now, I had to suffer the consequences of that.
As we walked away, I heard Colm laugh and call out, "Take care of our Mireyah."
When we entered the room, I was horrified to see that there was a bed in it, leaving no doubt what could be done in the room. With relief, I saw that there was also a table with two chairs on it. Food and drinks had been set up on the table, just as he’d mentioned to Colm.
The moment he closed the door behind him, all the noise in the public spaces disappeared and silence permeated the area. I sighed because while I wasn't exactly comfortable being alone with him, I had to admit that it had been thoughtful of him to arrange for privacy. He had been right - it was too noisy outside for any quality communication.
It was probably just him being self-serving, but what did I know?
He led me to a chair and pulled it out, helping me sit on it before claiming his own before next to me.
"How has Sylfeshire treated you, Mireyah? I imagine it must have been quite a change, going from having to work to a life of pampering so suddenly." He grinned at me even as he took a truffle from the tray before him and gestured for me to eat it from his hand. Knowing it would be impossible to refuse as it was an innocent act, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before leaning forward and wrapping my lips around the delectable chocolate morsel.
It felt like biting into gritty sand and was like sawdust mingling with the saliva in my mouth. The sensation of that intensified when Lathyn rubbed his thumb over my bottom lip and lingered there. I only barely resisted biting his thumb off. Colm would be very displeased if I did so.
His blue eyes darkened, pupils dilating, and I knew what he wanted. I held perfectly still, refusing to give in either direction. I couldn’t allow myself to cower away like he frightened me, but this was the God who had ripped me from my home and sent me to Godsvail. This was the God who would interfere with my relationship with the five, as tainted as it might be. I remembered every moment he’d tormented me. Every moment his fixation had made me feel uncomfortable in my skin and like an object to be owned.
"You really are a beautiful woman, Mireyah,” he sighed as his thumb exerted just enough pressure to pull my lip down so that my mouth opened and he touched the inside of my lip. The taste of his skin exploded in my mouth when he released it, feeling like a claim and a brand in and of itself. As much as he creeped me out, as much as I wanted to hate him, I couldn’t deny that the taste of him in my mouth felt right. I’d heard of the way Sylfe’s craved the Gods inside them, of the way it could become addictive, but I’d never experienced it for myself until that moment.
And his thumb in my mouth wasn’t even what my body craved.
The smug look on his face told me he knew exactly what he was doing when he gave me that taste. “I have lived for centuries and seen beauty pass through Sylfeshire time and time again, but none have been so alluring as you. None have tempted me to claim them, but you? I knew there was something special on your Collection Day.” He took a sip from his drink, a dark amber liquid he swirled in his crystal glass. “I knew in that moment that I would do whatever it took to see you succeed, so we might sit here just like this and prepare for our lives together. You only made matters worse when you refused to allow me to see you naked. Sylfeshire and its glorious fashion has given me a hint of what I missed.”
I smiled, because the memory of the day made me realize just how far I had come that the thought of it just gave me fond memories or, more, a bittersweet tang that I could just shake my head at. Who was that Mireyah? That Mireyah would hate the Mireyah that was in Sylfeshire now.
"Of course, I hadn’t expected that it would come so soon. I had thought more that it would be some time. You were and still are young." He nodded even as he reached out and took my hand. I considered, for a moment, pulling back and getting as far away from him as possible, but I stopped and let the feeling of his hand on mine settle. Yes, there was still disgust and anger there, but there had been disgust and anger in the relationship I’d had with my five before it had become different.
Evolved to be more beautiful even in all its tainted glory.
Perhaps it was as my teachers here in Sylfeshire always said. We were equal to the Gods to a certain extent. Because while we needed them, they as a species needed us to help them and ensure that their lines were kept fresh.
This and this alone caused me to question the amount of fixation Lathyn Majele had for me. With just how casual and friendly he was with Colm, it was obvious that he had a certain cachet in the world they lived in.
That meant for certain, there would be Sylfes and likely even Goddesses in his region who would jump at the chance to be his wife. "You show me far too much partiality, Lathyn. I should be flattered, but I am bewildered. You could have anyone else you want and get them more easily." I drew in a breath and cast my eyes to the ground.
"Perhaps this is true, but I have always done what I want and not let the ideas and viewpoints of others bother me or affect what that is." He shrugged and took a drink from his crystal glass, the dark mead smoothly swirling as he took it into his mouth. He displayed an arrogance, an attitude of being so sure of himself that echoed so perfectly my first impression of him. The Majele who I had despised beyond all imagining had a right to be arrogant. And it was embarrassing to think just how his ideals echoed a lot of mine.
I felt the respect for him bloom inside me reluctantly.
What choice did I have but to respect him even as the prospect of his company still angered me and how his touch could still disgust me? As a God, he was impressive, what he had accomplished great and as I saw all the Sylfes and even the Descendants and Gods respect him, I knew he deserved it.
My curiosity got the better of me, and I opened my mouth to ask him exactly what his duties were when the same Sylfe who had prepared and brought the tray from earlier came into view. She bowed low and spoke in a neutral voice, "Sir, you have an important message. They’ve asked that I interrupt you even when I mentioned you were in a privacy nook due to an emergency in
Demiorgo. It sounds very urgent.”
Lathyn sighed even as he stood up and I saw the way his face changed, the serious lines and maturity that spoke of years and acres of responsibility that he seemed so used to carrying. He nodded curtly but barely spared a glance for the bowing Sylfe, but he took my hand in his and gave it a soft kiss. "I hate to leave so soon when I have finally gotten you to myself but be sure that I will be back. Till next time, my dear Mireyah."
With a short bow, he walked out of the private nook and left me with the attendant. She looked up at me with a polite smile and a blank look.
An Unwanted Sylfe stuck in a lifetime of servitude.
Her time to find a spouse had expired and thus the pink of her coloring had faded until it was very light and grungy. Rather than keep her dignity and go to the Unwanted Lands, she had opted to remain in eternal servitude in the very place that had failed her. Even if I never Ascended, I would never make the same decision.
"Are you staying here, Miss? I would need to clean up as Sir Lathyn has left." I gave her a smile, not wanting to give her a hard time about it. While some other Sylfes treated these Unwanted Sylfes with barely disguised disdain, I knew they still had rights.
"Don’t worry. I'll be leaving. Let you get this cleaned up as soon as you can. I'll just see myself out. Thank you." The wide-eyed look she threw me showed just how little respect they got from everyone else in Sylfeshire. Shaking my head at the thought, I walked out of the room and walked back around to the Visitation area. Ideally, it would have been in my best interest to just escape but I was literally stuck having to pass by the viewing deck before I could hope to do so. There was the hope that the guys were there, and I could finally ask them my questions.