Sylfic

by Kenna Bardot

  "Oh, here's fresh meat," a voice spoke up from behind me and pulled at my dress as I walked. It had the annoying effect of making the straps of my dress fall off my shoulder to drape loosely over my arms and the top of it to slide down and reveal more of my boobs. I pulled up, and the Byta and Kald reacted with a laugh. "Oh, well, if it isn't a demure Sylfe. You're a rare one, aren't you? The Sylfes here are more than willing to spread their legs for us if it means that we may Declare for them."

  I fumed at the words and pulled my dress away from his grasp with a sharp tug. I huffed as I stepped back. "I would rather stay here, stay single and become Unwanted than to let anyone like the two of you touch any part of my body. Just because you're Gods, you think you have the right to treat us like your toys? Like things rather than living creatures? Well, you're wrong because we're not."

  The Kald laughed, cold and callous, just like his house was famed for. "Look at you standing there all proud, thinking you're special. See if you don't come crawling back to us in time with your desperate hands, your pleading eyes and your pouting lips. You'd be begging us eventually, and we'll be here to have our pick of anything and anyone we want. So scurry away, insignificant Sylfe, and believe the lies they spout to placate you."

  Without another word, I pulled up my skirt and pivoted towards the other direction. I ignored all the other Gods and Sylfes who were mingling in the deck, having had my fill of anyone at the moment. I rounded a corner where I knew there to be a quiet, secluded alcove I could hide in for the time being. As I did, my eyes landed on the Kald who sat there, head bowed as he seemed too engrossed in a thick book. Given my very recent encounter with a Kald, I stopped in my tracks and tried to step back as quietly as I could so as not to bring his attention to me.

  Unfortunately, it did not work when his head came up and his head swiveled straight towards me. Just to stop him from making any commentary, I dipped in as low a curtsy as my spine and dignity could manage and muttered, "Apologies, sir. I thought no one was here. I'll leave you be."

  I heard the scurrying and saw a pair of booted feet land in front of me. "No, don't. I'm not used to anyone knowing that I am here. Usually, I spend my time peacefully enough alone. But you're free to use it. Are you hiding from someone?"

  I sighed and looked up - while his eyes were bronze as was his hair; they were not cruel as I knew the Kalds to be. Just as the Kald from earlier had been. In fact, his smile was very kind, friendly and easy to trust. "Yes, sir. Generally, I'm just tired of Gods in general." I winced when the words slipped out of my mouth. It was probably not the smartest thing to say in front of a God.

  "Yes, our species can be disgusting so I understand. That's why I sit here waiting and hoping." His gaze trailed off to the side before he waved it away. "But, enough about me. Sit, sit. Let's talk." He gestured to the other seat in the alcove and I moved towards it hesitantly before plopping down.

  "I'm Oryn. Obviously a Kald." He eyed me, but with none of the sexual overtures that tinged the eyes of the others. "Let me guess? Human-born from the North?"

  My eyes widened at the pronouncement. "Yes. How did you know?"

  "Even the pink can't hide that white. Your skin is fair - the fair that only years of living in snow could bring. I'm a Kald. I know cold and snow." He reached out with his hand and grabbed the vines that grew over the walls of the alcove. Within moments, they started turning to white ice. I smiled when I reached over to touch it. Sylfeshire was comfortable and luxurious, but the ice brought a longing pull in my belly. I missed home, what I could remember of it.

  "I miss ice. The cold. Sylfeshire is beautiful, but there's nothing as beautiful as crisp, freshly fallen snow." I smiled over at him and met his eyes and he was nodding even as he allowed the coolness to spread over the tiny alcove we shared. He laughed even as he pulled his hand away. "I should stop. Colm gets so mad when we destroy his place. He's very protective. Of Sylfeshire and his Sylfes."

  I nodded and thought of how he'd tried to protect me from Ashric. "That he is. He surprises me, being a God and a Svadeni. He cares for us but does not see us as sexual beings, and not just because it’s his duty. It's different from what I expect."

  He laughed, and I knew any other God would have taken offense from what I said. "Not all Gods are monsters, although a great deal many of us are."

  "I'm sorry. I seem to forget that," I paused as I flushed, realizing that I would say something I would probably regret.

  "I’m a God? No problem. I forget this myself on most days." He poked his head out of the alcove and seemed to look at something while thinking. He sighed and stood, holding his book close to his side. "It was a pleasure meeting you but I unfortunately need to get going. However, I did not get your name."

  "Mireyah."

  He looked at his timepiece and sighed before putting it back into his pocket. "Well, Mireyah, it was a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am fatalistic enough to think it was meant to be for you to run into my alcove just when I am in it. However, I have other duties and sadly today doesn't seem to be the day for me to get what I have been waiting so patiently for. I hope I see you again next time."

  “It was nice to meet you, Oryn. I look forward to our next meeting.” He bowed and walked off, but not before I saw the extreme sadness in his eyes.

  And I watched him walk off, knowing I’d made a friend.

  Chapter 9

  Mireyah

  My time in Sylfeshire became more routine. For about a week I’d wait for my guys during Visitation but whenever I realize that they wouldn’t, I’d just escape to spend some time with my friends.

  That was why when we were told that Visitation was suspended for half of the day because they had to talk to all of us, it felt like such a big change in schedule. It made me wonder, really, why we were even given a schedule when they could just change it on short notice.

  But Lysandra had not been happy when they’d informed us at the start of our first class. As guards led us down the hallway and into the larger meeting room, we met with Astraea and the two of them had walked hand in hand down the hallway like they were walking to their execution.

  In the room, all those who had been declared Ready to Mingle stood waiting, and I initially tried to ask the two what was going on because it was obvious that they knew what it was. But they just silently stood watching the door.

  Lysandra's tiny hand held mine, grasping me firmly. For such a small thing, Lysandra packed quite a punch. More bite than bark, that's what I saw her as. Which was a big deal because she had a lot of bark.

  To my left, Astraea stood, tall and slender and elegant. Her long fingers lay on my shoulders, kneading. The way she worked my skin made it obvious that she worried over something.

  I tried to whisper my questions to them, but Lysandra just shook her head while Astraea pressed a hand to her mouth. No amount of coaxing or asking could pry the information out of them. So I shut up and just waited.

  Eventually, I realized that the time of my ignorance was drawing to a close when the door sprung wide open and both Lysandra and Astraea's grips tightened on me.

  Zeevar, if the two didn't break any bones, it would shock me. Colm walked in, followed by Edlynne. As they did, they closed the door behind them.

  "Children, thank you for gathering. Tomorrow, we will begin a special time." Edlynne spoke, eyes crinkling up at the edges from smiling. But she worried. I could see it in the way her lips trembled and the way she looked at all of us intently.

  "Yes, tomorrow Mother Caprice will be here, thus beginning the time of Judgment. She will talk to all of you within this week and Colm and I want to make sure you are all prepared.”

  Everyone reacted. It was the most Sylfes I’d seen in one room except during mealtimes, but it was still more noise than I’d have expected. There were a variety of reactions - fear and anger like my friends, but also a lot of glee and excitement.

  Colm stepped forward with his hands held out. "Yes, yes. We understand that for a lot
of you this is an exciting time while for some others it is the exact opposite. Regardless of how we feel about all of it, we have some newbies amongst us so we need to explain what this is all about."

  Lysandra let go of my hand, and I peered down at her and noted there were tears in her eyes. She swiped at them angrily before she stepped forward. "Tell them what, Colm Svadeni? How Mother Caprice is coming here to torture our minds? How she will try to take every bad thing in our lives and turn it against us until we're begging her to stop? And all for what? So we would be Ready for one of her precious God Children to Declare for us? To fight for the honour of becoming our spouses in this manufactured ugliness of a scene? Is that it? Is that what we need to tell them?” She raised her arms and regarded the room before nodding at me and Theo. “Well, consider them told."

  Edlynne Nastroj stepped forward even as the noise reached an all-time high in the room. Some of those who had been initially excited looked horrified at Lysandra while some others in the rooms burst into tears - Astraea one among them - and I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. "You speak out of turn, Lysandra. I know you’ve been here for very long and have a certain familiarity with the way things are, but do not presume to project your own opinions on those who don’t yet have them. Allow them to form their own opinions and fears and anger. If they share your viewpoint, then I am sure they will come to that conclusion on their own, eventually.”

  Colm walked forward until he was right in front of me. “Mireyah, what they say is not entirely incorrect. Going in front of Mother Caprice alone is not an experience I would consider easy, and nor is it meant to be. She will gauge how Ready you are to have a God Declare for you. It is the first step towards becoming a God. Should that not be something you wish to be, ever or now, it is something that she will see in you. However, it is important to note." He looked away from me and towards the rest of the Sylfes who were in the room with me and continued, "that what she wants most is for you to experience the joy and pain of Ascension and join the Gods in Demiorgo. There is something to be said for achieving that.”

  Edlynne walked forward and stood shoulder to shoulder with Colm. She gave me and Theo a look. “As it is your first time, the two of you are going first tomorrow. The rest will have their turns on the following days and through the entire week. Note that if Mother Caprice is not satisfied with the time she speaks with you, she can come back during this season and ask to speak with you again. So going in front of her once and failing does not mean that you are safe, but merely that she has other plans.”

  She addressed the room, "Does anyone have questions?" She looked around expectantly, but no one spoke even as Astraea's hand trembled in mine. "Okay then. Mireyah, someone will fetch you from your room tomorrow in the middle of the morning after breakfast. Theo, they will fetch you after lunch. I will inform the rest of you of your times as they come. You are dismissed. Classes have been suspended today and Visitation opens after lunch if that’s what you are scheduled to do instead. Use the time you have before then for whatever you wish. Have a good day."

  We all walked out in somber silence.

  ✽✽✽

  The morning after the bombshell Edlynne and Colm dropped on us, I’d woken up so early that even Lysandra had been barely awake when I’d barged into her room. During breakfast, I’d eaten half a bowl of berries and two sips of hot, unsweetened tea. Anything else after that I could not keep down, which distressed me. It was an easy way of determining just how stressed I was - my body would go on a hunger strike. Under normal conditions, I would find it funny.

  I’d waited in my room for about an hour before the knock. Hand on my stomach, I opened the door and nodded at the Unwanted Sylfe. As I walked down the hallway in his wake, I regretted the decision to barely eat anything when the butterflies in my stomach fluttered in my stomach.

  If I had been full of food, I’d have been at risk of nausea, so there really was no winning in any scenario. Mostly just a “do your best and hope that your body cooperates” sort of situation. We stopped in front of a plain wooden door that he gestured for me to open, which I did, watching with trepidation as my hand trembled turning the doorknob.

  Through the crack, I could feel that the room was hotter than it was out in the hallway. A dim yellow light also emanated from the room, casting a strange glow over the door. I took a deep breath and stepped in, pulling the door closed behind me. The room was empty but for a light that I could not even pinpoint the source of. In the middle of the room sat Caprice, cross-legged and appearing to float over the floor. Upon closer inspection, it revealed a very tiny, barely noticeable stool on thin legs supporting her from below.

  Did I believe that she needed it? I still remembered her from my final Challenge in Godsvail, so I knew that she did not. But I appreciated her attempt at making it feel more normal and natural for me. I just stood there, looking at her, waiting for her to acknowledge me. I studied her - the long dark hair that fell down her back, the lines on her face smoother than they'd been the last time I'd seen her - a sign that she was calm, a calm that permeated the air inside the room. So calm, in fact, that I could almost believe that she was deep in slumber if not for that fact that she smiled and opened her mouth. "Come in, my dear. Come in. I don't bite."

  I took a small step forward and every single movement of my feet felt like a hardship, but I did eventually make it to stand in front of her. Still, she did not open her eyes. Still, I stood, and nothing happened for what felt like the longest time. I had reached the point that it tempted me to ask her what would happen until her eyes opened, the bright, crystalline quality in them piercing into me. I almost took an involuntary step back, but I tried my best to stand my ground. She smiled and all the lines of happiness and sadness on her face was a sight to behold at such a close view.

  "I've been excited to see you, she who was once Mireyah Bolstad of Wintercairn. Yes. I was not as easy to convince that you deserved to win the Challenge in Godvail, but I eventually agreed that you would make an interesting Sylfe. Now, we will see if you have what it takes to make an interesting God." She nodded and waved a hand. An image of me formed to my left. I turned and looked at her. This was the Mireyah of five years ago. A Mireyah that was still in my head, but somehow, I knew she was no longer in my heart.

  "Yes, I remember her," Caprice said with a nod at the image she created before turning her head towards me. "Do you?"

  I nodded, fists bunching in anger. I took a moment to take a deep breath and unclench them before answering, "I do. Mireyah of five years ago was young and inexperienced, idealistic and angry. She thought she was so smart. How wrong she was. I would like to warn her about what is coming, but I also know that if I had gotten a warning, I would not have heeded it, anyway. She deserves the journey, no matter how hard and impossible it seems to feel like it was worth it. Perhaps she could have more peace at the end.”

  Caprice tilted her head to the side. "And do you have so little peace then?"

  I opened my mouth, but then snapped it shut. In the last few days, I’ve been plagued with uncertainty. Yet, I didn't want to think about the men who had inspired me to work for something that I didn't even know I still wanted. Because I didn't even know if they were worth it. And should I ever conclude that they weren’t worth it, what was I going to do then?

  "Why do you hesitate? Do you think I need something as simple as waiting for you to answer my questions? That I can't just pull everything from your mind and consume it all until you're left with nothing but whatever fears and anger are so clear in you?" Her face was dark, clouded over and almost menacing. It was the first time that I did not see neither delight nor misery there but just that plain, dark and frightening anger.

  I took a tentative step back, involuntary as a reaction to the image she presented. My knees weakened, and her face was the last image I saw before my world plunged into darkness. I felt the jarring sensation as my body fell to the floor, knees knocking hard against the stone floors. And then I
understood the fear and the anger when it flooded into me.

  My eyes opened, and I took a moment to situate myself as I planted my hands on the ground so I could try to heave myself up. There was just an emptiness there, a darkness and an aloneness that felt so similar to my Final Challenge as a human in Godsvail.

  The figures shimmered a little before taking a corporeal form. And there they stood - Char, Ryle, Tate, Shep and Hollis - my former tormentors, my current loves. And just seeing them tore into a heart that felt battered and bruised even as my gut twisted into little knots.

  "These are the five Gods in your head and though a part of you prays they weren’t there, they are also the ones in your heart. Are they your first, last and only, she who was once Mireyah Bolstad of Wintercairn?” I felt the wind whipping around me as my men reached out their hands to me and I reached forward, but no matter how hard I tried, I could not reach them.

  “And what would you do if they do not prove themselves unworthy? Are you willing to fail with them? Or will you want to be a God at all costs?"

  I could feel the tears fall from my eye even as their names echoed in my mind - Char, Ryle, Tate, Shep and Hollis. I could not answer her question. The truth of the matter was, I could not form any words. Somehow, I knew I did not need to.

  "How hard are you willing to endure the tasks you will need to pass? Are you willing to cross the path to death and towards Zeevar before you are pulled back from that brink?" Her voice reverberated around me as the guys, the figures of them, looked down at my crouching figure. From that perspective, it felt like being attacked from above and all around. I pulled back my arms and instead raised my hands to my face to protect it and even more to block the view. Their names still echoed in my head, the sound reaching a crescendo that had me slapping my hands over my ears and shutting my eyes shut.

  "Do you regret winning the Challenge, Mireyah?" The world around me quieted down, only then making me realize that the wind had been whistling around me violently just moments before. "Do you regret it?" she repeated the question quietly.