by Kenna Bardot
After a week of waiting, in what felt like futility, I was giving up. What had been excitement to go out every morning had dissipated into hurt and disappointment.
Aes and Lysandra tried to help me out, however, I would lock the door and pretend they weren’t there until they eventually gave up and left me be. I knew that Caprice was threatening to come back and talk to some of them, so they were likely distracted. So, I didn’t mind that they didn’t always come.
The door burst open but my gaze did not leave the ceiling - I was determined to count all the pink and lavender swirls that decorated it and reminded me all too well of the outfits they made us wear daily. Engrossed in that examination, I could not even muster the energy to check who had intruded my peace and privacy nor the effort to curse that I'd been disturbed.
"Perhaps our Mireyah is catatonic," Lysandra spoke up with a laugh, even as the door closed behind her with a sharp crack.
"Lysandra, don't be mean. Mireyah’s gone through so many changes in such a short time." Astraea's voice, calm and gentle, washed over me and somehow the comforting quality of it was more painful than Lysandra’s brashness.
"Thanks, guys," I murmured, and I was sure they could not hear me. However, I should have figured that Lysandra had the ears of a bat.
"What? Did you just thank us?" Her face swam into view, those sharp features and those strong eyes peering into me. She saw me, I knew that. For a Sylfe, she could see more than even a Nastroj could. It made me wonder just what kind of God she would be sometimes, but that wasn’t really an important thing to think about at that moment. I pushed her face away as I struggled to a sitting position. As I did, I looked over to see Astraea staring at me with a sad expression on her face.
"How did I ever get you as my friends? You've known each other for years, but you just welcomed me into that beautiful friendship so easily. I know I wouldn’t have survived my time here quite as well without you." The tears streaked down Astraea's eyes even as she walked forward and wrapped her arms around me. Beside us, on the bed, I was certain I heard Lysandra sniffing.
"Ly, are you crying too?" Astraea asked on a watery laugh and I felt the bed rock as Lysandra shoved at our taller friend. "No, you fucking fool. Your hair just slapped my face when you jumped on Mireyah and started blubbering on her."
'Sure, sure," Astraea agreed even as she pulled back. "I'm sorry for hitting you, darling. Did my hair get into your poor nose and eyes?"
Another shove. "Oh, don't you start, Astraea. I hate sentimental bullshit."
I sniffled, unashamed to show that I was crying. "Sorry, Lysandra. I don't do it often. Just been having a hard couple of days."
Astraea ran a hand down my hair. "Oh, darling, they'll come for you. You should trust them. If what you say about them is true, trust them."
"Even if Gods can't be trusted as a whole," Lysandra pointed out with a shrug at the look Astraea shot her. "What? It's true. For your sake though, Mireyah, I hope they come. Obviously, not being with them makes you sad and depressed."
"I hate it. Hate it so much. I hate the Gods, and for a moment I forgot that they were Gods because I loved them. I deluded myself. And I hate that I’ve been so wrapped up in my own shit, I haven’t understood how hard this time is for you too. What with Caprice threatening to come back and talk to some of you again. I don’t want either of you to feel like I do - the lost, terrified feeling of it.” I wrapped my arms around Lysandra and let the up and down motion of her arms rubbing me on my back soothe me.
“Don’t worry about us, Mireyah. We’ve always survived. And we always will, even if things do eventually change. Let’s not think about these things for a while, okay?”
And I was happy enough to do just that.
✽✽✽
Ryle
My shoulders were tense as I walked side by side with Tate as we headed towards the Springen Express station to head down towards the main city center. I could sense him throwing me concerned looks every so often, and I was certain my twin worried about me. "Stop looking," I ground out through gritted teeth, my fists bunching as I did so. It wasn't often that I wanted to cave my brother's face in, but sometimes it felt necessary.
"No need to get mad," he replied in his placating tone, which only drove me up the wall. "You've been unnaturally quiet since we left the West."
I stopped in my tracks, and he stopped after going ahead for about two steps. When he looked back I asked, "When have I ever been a chatterbox?"
He sighed and rubbed at his temples. "Unnaturally quiet, Ryle. It's a different silence. How could I not know when you throw out so much of it, it's more work to stop myself from reading it versus just letting it in? Look, I know you're stressed about her and so am I, but wanting to punch me really doesn't help, does it?"
Tate looked towards my right side, and it surprised me to note that I'd raised my fist. I sighed and put it back down towards my side. "Sorry. I'm worried. We said we'd go back, but we haven't gone back. What if, in the meantime, she decides that she'd rather not have us anymore?"
He smiled at me and gestured forward, and we resumed walking towards our destination. "Since when has that ever stopped us? Besides, she won't. Her connection to us is as strong as ours for her. We are one. We just need to be patient until the day comes that we can finally fight for her and claim her. Besides, we'll see her this week. We said we can finally go."
"Fine. Why are there so many people out today?" I asked as I realized that the road down towards the Springen Express was full of chattering people.
"Dunno," Tate mumbled. "Wait. Ella!" he called out towards a Nastroj who walked on the other side of the street before jogging to catch up to her.
I turned to follow in his direction, watching as they spoke to each other as I approached them. When my brother's body went rigid, I went on high alert and started walking towards them faster. When I was eventually within earshot, I caught the tail end of their conversation."
"Thanks, Ella. You have a good day now," Tate said, voice tense as Ella smiled at him.
"Sure, Tate. You take care." She turned and came face to face with me. She shot me a smile and a raised eyebrow. "Ryle. Good day to you, gentlemen." She waved and walked off and I waited until she was far enough away, before I grabbed Tate's shoulder and threw him a hard look.
"Bad news, Ryle. Terrible news. Lathyn Majele has apparently Declared for someone. The Goddesses here in the West are pretty torn up about it since he's decided he would rather marry the young Sylfe than a full-blown Goddess."
"A young Sylfe?" I repeated the words as it sunk in and I whispered, "Mireyah?"
"I assume so. Lathyn Majele has been obsessed with Mireyah since before Godsvail. It stands to reason he would Declare for her." Tate sighed and started walking towards the station faster and I sped up to keep pace with him.
"When the fuck did she become Declareable?" I felt the tension rise in my neck as I thought about what might have happened if we'd not been able to Declare for Mireyah within the deadline. It was a thought too horrific to think of. "The bloody fucking North keep Char tied up there that we can't visit."
"Yes. They're very strict, Ryle. The strictest of all the Regions. Bloody North had the most celebrations that kept them tied up but it's really been difficult for us to coordinate all our times given how we come from all four regions. It's a logistic nightmare, and we vowed we wouldn't go back unless we could all make it." Tate shook his head as we strode into the station. "Now, we have to tell the guys that Lathyn has Declared for Mireyah."
"Fuck. Let's hope Shep doesn't destroy any buildings." I felt my jaw tense. "Hell, let's hope I don't destroy any buildings."
"Char can control you both. This is why we need him around. I just hope he doesn't end up blaming himself for this." Tate gave my shoulder a squeeze as we approached the Springen on duty. "Main square please."
"Both of you?"
I nodded, and she waved her hand. As I felt myself blink out, I thought of our Mireyah. With L
athyn declaring for her, the fact of her coming to us suddenly didn't seem like such a foregone conclusion.
And I was itching to punch someone's face over that.
Chapter 11
Mireyah
The next morning, Theo knocked on my door just as he’d done the entire week I locked myself in my room. But for the first time, I opened the door the moment he did. He’d been surprised, but he didn’t question my decision to go to the Visitation area that morning.
"You should relax, Mireyah." Theo said as we walked side by side. It was the first thing he’d said in the last five minutes. I nodded as what he said drove me over the edge - my friends were right. It was best to just let things be. Things would happen no matter how stressed I made myself over them.
Because really, I was done hoping. If Lathyn Majele was to be the only one to Declare for me, perhaps I had to resign myself to the fact that I would become a Goddess by his side. Or, much easier, allow myself to accept that I was on a path much like Lysandra was and deny Ascension. It was a path I could see for myself.
"Mireyah," Theo's voice broke through my thoughts and I had to look up to see him peering down at me worriedly. "Are you sure you're ready to do this? We entered this room five minutes ago then you just stopped. Are you sure you want to go out there?”
I closed my eyes before throwing him as bright a smile as I can muster. I patted his upper arm to relax him. "Sure, Theo. Thanks. Don't know what I'd do without you, really."
He nodded and stared at me disbelievingly even as he pushed the door open. "If you say so, Mireyah. I'm not one to argue with a female." He laughed and rubbed a hand behind his neck in obvious discomfort.
I took pity on him and gave his cheek a gentle pat. "It's fine, Theo. Don't stress yourself about it. Females are difficult, you've got that right. Me more so than most, especially you know?"
He shrugged at that statement. "Sure but, actually, I think you're cool. I have what I think is a fairly accurate idea of what is happening to you since I’ve been observing, and I pick things up now and again. However, I try to mind my business because that keeps you out of trouble. But from the little time we’ve spent in each other’s company, I can posit that you're cooler than a majority of the Sylfes here in this place."
I stared at him wide-eyed because I was struck dumb. Here I was in my little world with my small circle of friends, and I hadn't been open to the fact that, perhaps, there were others around me that weren't so bad. I touched a hand to my chest, touched. "Aww. Is that why you've been stopping by my door to walk with me every morning? Because I’m cool?"
I saw the way the color crept up his neck and had to smile. "Well, sure. I know it looks like I do it so well. Enjoy the mingling and the networking. The basic selling of me and my companionship, but it makes things easier when walking with someone else."
"You're not wrong about that, Theo. And you know what? I posit that you’re a cool dude yourself too. Should we head inside?" I pointed to the open door, and he bowed, allowing me to walk in before him. "After you, Mireyah."
I walked out and saw the same Sylfes, acting as they always did - begging and pleading to the Gods and Goddesses who visited. There was such a tinge of desperation, a thin coating of pleading in their eyes and in their voice as I heard them in passing. Perhaps the Kald and the Byta from my first Visitation had not been entirely wrong - some Sylfes were desperate.
I took a seat in the private alcove where I’d first met Oryn, sad that he wasn’t there. I sighed and settled in with my book. This was as safe as I could be.
Time passed, and I did not notice it even with the way the light changed from the varied positions of the sun in the sky. Distracted as I was, my head came up suddenly when I felt as though I heard my name being called out. My head cocked to the side as I tried to hear. "Mireyah! Is Mireyah Sylfe not here? If you're here, announce yourself."
I tucked my book under my arm and stood, walking towards the voice. When I rounded the corner, I saw our professor, Sage Byta, calling my name, but I barely noticed him because my eyes tracked towards a more wonderful and welcome sight.
Five beautiful sights. My beautiful guys. All larger than life. I smiled at them, and my heart stopped when there was no reaction. Until Hollis smiled - that perfect face breath-taking in its beauty. And all the rest of them smiled.
Well, most of them. Because I couldn’t really expect the same jovial and friendly reaction from all of them.
Char, the whiteness that spoke of a cold and emotionless shell that only hid my slightly sadistic but devoted guy underneath it all.
Shep, purple and turbulent, always jealous but always thoughtful, always thinking of me first before anything.
The twins. Ryle with his gold and gilt, strong shoulders and muscles as hard as rock that hid a soft interior that was perfectly willing to show me love and wrap me in a protective case.
His brother, Tate, as silvery as moonlight as Ryle was golden as the sun. He was the one who knew me so well, sometimes even more than I felt like I knew myself.
And there was Hollis. Hollis, who was flawless even for a God -perfection that hid insecurities and flaws that made him someone irresistible to fall for.
Without a thought I walked towards them. Yes, we needed to talk, but first I had to touch them. Remind myself that they were, in fact, real. But, to my surprise, they turned and walked towards the fountain instead. Sage Byta’s head came up as they did so, head tilting in question. I saw Colm rushing towards him, giving his shoulder a pat before looking towards my five.
They stood, much as Lathyn had more than a week ago. "We Declare for Mireyah. Our desire to give her the Sire Bond. You all here bear witness. Colm Svadeni, Sage Byta, Sylfes of Sylfeshire, Gods of Demiorgo and Mireyah the Sylfe herself."
My breath caught in my throat, a sensation that made me feel alive. I rushed towards them, allowing the book I held to tumble to the ground and my dress to whip behind me. As I ran, I heard them, the whispers. The shock that five Gods would declare for a Sylfe all at one time. But I ignored them as Ryle caught me in his strong arms. I held the sensation to my chest - happiness.
The purity of it was bound to be tainted soon enough.
We didn’t have enough time. Not nearly enough until they’d had to leave. But they’d given me a gift second only to that moment they’d told me they loved me. The moment they left, I scurried back inside before Colm could confront me so I could hug my happiness to myself.
Theo bumped his shoulder against mine and smiled down when he caught up to me in a private hallway. "Glad to see you all smiling and happy now. Was that what was worrying you?”
Talk about the obvious. Too happy to care, I just smiled up to him and shrugged. "To a certain extent, sure. It's not that simple, though."
"Five Gods all at once. I don't think that's ever happened before. The shire is abuzz about it. Perhaps you noticed?" He cocked his head to the side, bringing attention to the fact that Sylfes were staring at us as we passed. Or me, rather. They were staring and whispering at me.
"And can she satisfy them?" a voice spoke up from behind me. "The twins themselves are already hard to keep up with, being sandwiched between those broad shoulders and rock-hard muscles. Not to mention the way Shep likes to slap ass until it's red as a tomato and so sore you can't sit for days."
Theo spun around to face the female Sylfe. In my intense happiness, I’d forgotten that I still had a conversation I needed to have with my five. Perhaps with how happy they made me, I had just forgotten. Confronted with someone who threatened that happiness, I knew that I had no choice but to get the truth from my guys. Theo stepped towards her, mouth formed into an angry frown. "You're just jealous, Jessica. I don't see a God Declaring for you, much less five."
"I'm being very picky, trust me." She shrugged and ignored Theo to instead peer around to look at me. She raised an eyebrow at me as soon as she met my gaze. "And you know it don't you, Mireyah? Know that while it must have been easy to satisfy them
when they'd been Descendants in Godsvail Academy, it's hard to compete with Sylfes who have been practicing the subtle art of pleasure for years before you were born. Better yet, against Goddesses who don't need a Sire Bond to prove themselves equal.”
"Just leave her alone, Jess, and take your disgusting jealousy with you." Theo spun towards me, patting my arms when he reached me. "Don't listen to her, Mireyah. Okay? Declaring isn't something that is done lightly so they wouldn't if they didn't genuinely want you."
I nodded, but her words echoed in my mind, tainting the happiness that had been so pure and overflowing just moments before.
"Mireyah?"
But I tuned him out, because it had taken them a long time to Declare for me then almost like what Lathyn had done, they’d said their piece, barely talked to me before walking away.
And I dreaded that it was my fault. Was it because I had stuck them with a vow? Made them promise that they would take me as soon as they could. The thought of it filled me with dread, and I could not allow it to leave and let the insecurity wash over me.
✽✽✽
I went about my day. Most of the attention from the other Gods had dissipated since word got around that Lathyn Declared for me, followed by the most unusual Declaration of five Gods at once and the uncertainty that surrounded that.
I enjoyed the peace, because with their lack of interest came a lack of interaction. I could sit outside by the pools and not have to worry about being approached. I could even sit in one of the outdoor benches, away from the shade with a book in hand and not have to worry.
It felt freeing, to not be bothered at all hours of the day or feel the need to hide away. Whatever would happen, I was headed towards the Sire trials with six guys.
As Visitation time ended on the last day before the deadline for my Declarations, I didn't feel any hesitation in walking through the main space before the Gods had left for the night. Surely, Colm would see no harm in my retiring early, given that he seemed entirely content with Lathyn's Declaration for me. Anything after that was extraneous in his mind.