Sylfic

by Kenna Bardot

  "That was very thoughtful of you, I’m not fond of the sunshine so much as I enjoy reading under natural light," I admitted, albeit reluctantly. I didn’t like to give him any credit, but the more time I spent with him, the more I had to admit that he probably wasn’t as creepy as I’d thought previously.

  "I do have my moments. I know I must have given you a bad impression in Godsvail, but I assure you it was never my intent. We had so few moments together, you and I. It was difficult to articulate my desires in more acceptable ways, and I apologize." He held out a hand and he held a long-stemmed lily. I stared at it and he shrugged. “I learned that you liked plants.”

  I chuckled at him and took the flower from him. "I do, thank you. That was a very eloquent, well-rehearsed speech. Was it painful to apologize?"

  "Horribly," he laughed. "I'm not actually sorry. Here we are, and you don't look at me the way you do that dreadful Ashric Tovenaar, so I couldn't have been too horrid."

  My nose wrinkled at the thought of Ashric even as I sniffed. "Oh, no! You definitely weren't so bad as him. Mind you, it’d be hard to be worse than that one."

  "Don't worry about him, beautiful. I'll not allow him to have you." I nodded, feeling like I betrayed the men for thinking Lathyn seemed like a shelter against Ashric. As much as I would prefer my five, anything and anyone was better than Ashric Tovenaar.

  "I’ve asked you the same question before but we didn’t really get to talk much. How is Sylfeshire? Has it eased some of your hatred for the Gods?"

  I tilted my head thoughtfully, debating how to answer the loaded question. I decided honesty was the best policy. I'd been nothing but honest with Lathyn, and he didn't judge me for it. In fact, quite the opposite. Besides, I wouldn't have been true to myself if I wasn't honest, and I wouldn't move forward into what might be my marriage with dishonesty between us. "No," I answered with a smile. "I still hate them, to be frank. Perhaps even more so because it’s a hatred borne of knowledge rather than just blind rage."

  "Well, that may prove problematic when you become one in a short time." His tone scolded, but his eyes danced with humor. I stuck my hand into the water of the fountain, watching the water pour out of my hand as I lifted it. Lathyn's hand reached out, taking mine in his and watching as the water slid over both our hands. I swallowed, feeling too crowded with his hand on mine. But given the circumstances, the touch wasn't inappropriate.

  If anything it was kind, a subtle way for him to explore whatever chemistry might exist between us.

  There was nothing for me, no spark of life that I felt when any of the guys touched me.

  "You seem to have attracted quite the fan base in the short time since I Collected you. So many males are determined to make you into their Goddess."

  "It wasn't my intent, I assure you,” I whispered, my eyes widening. He slid closer on the bench until his knees touched mine lightly.

  "And what of the group of five? Do I need to feel threatened by them?" he asked, fingers moving to trail over the skin at my wrist. I felt eyes on me, and a quick glance confirmed several Sylfe's watched our interaction with interest through the windows. So much for off-limits.

  Regardless, I didn't pull my arm back. I wouldn't embarrass him for something so innocent.

  "We were together in Godsvail," I admitted, holding true to my policy of honesty.

  "Exclusively? Or were there others who came to know your body when I could not?"

  "Just them."

  He sighed. "I suppose I should have expected it. A beautiful woman like you would not go unnoticed in Godsvail. Though I wish that I'd been able to claim you as mine from the beginning, and we could have skipped all this circumstance."

  "I could have died," I reminded him, finally voicing the words that had lingered at the back of my mind. "You claim to care for me, to want me as your wife, and yet you took me from everything I loved and sent me there to die."

  He took both my hands in his, pulling them into his lap and staring down at me intently with vivid blue eyes. "I freed you from your human existence. A life in that village where you grew up would have left you to a life where you could never realize your potential and how you could change everything. I sent you to Godsvail knowing you would survive and thrive. And by my side? With the position I hold as a Liaison for the Gods? I can help."

  "How could you possibly have known that?"

  "Because you, my dear, are far too pigheaded to remove your clothes for a roomful of Gods. I was certain you would be too pigheaded to die. We have that in common, you and I." He shrugged and gave off such an arrogance

  I snorted a laugh, my body curling in on itself as it shook. "What? The not wanting to die?”

  He shook his head as he patted my knee. “Pig-headed.”

  “I concede. Reluctantly," I admitted, watching as he released my hands and leaned in to press a brief kiss at the corner of my mouth. I turned to follow his look when he sighed, finding Colm standing in the doorway and smiling sadly.

  "I regret that I have to leave you. Our time has already ended, but I am excited for the time when I can finally fight for the honor to be your Sire."

  "Goodbye, Lathyn," I murmured.

  "Until next time, my future wife."

  ✽✽✽

  "Mireyah?" Colm asked, gathering me from the lounge where I'd curled up to read. "They're ready for you." There was no joy in his face at delivering the news, no pleasure in knowing he would deliver me to them. He'd made no secret that he preferred Lathyn as my potential Sire, but he had oddly stopped talking him up at least.

  I appreciated it, but had to wonder about what prompted the change.

  Lysandra said that he probably realized he was failing in his duty to remain a separate entity, to see me through my Ascension as a guide and caretaker, and not as someone who had a personal interest in my future. Duty was everything to Colm, but he never distanced himself from us in the way he probably should have.

  "Okay." I stood and tucked my book under my arm. I let him lead me to the hall where the private rooms were, and I wasn't surprised that my men had arranged a private space for us. I didn't know if they thought there would be reconnecting on a physical level or not, but they'd never been fond of having an audience. Not when they seemed to still hold the secret of their relationship with one another so close to their hearts.

  "You'll have the same time with them as you had with Lathyn and not a moment more. When the time is up, I'll knock on the door and give you a moment to collect yourself-"

  "I'm not having sex with them today, Colm," I cut him off. "There are things we need to discuss, and they're of the utmost importance. It could very well be that they rescind their Declaration after this conversation for all I know. But sex is not on the agenda."

  He blew out a breath, taking my hand and giving it a brief squeeze. "As you know, they are no longer allowed to do so given the fact that their symbols are on your ear. However, not having sex might be for the best. Not only are you in the very unusual situation of having many Gods vying for your attention, but you also have to think with your head and your heart. Your body should be an afterthought in this. If you were to become sexually involved with any of them, I would suggest considering giving them all that opportunity to put them on an even field."

  "No," I protested. "If I have sex with any of them, it's because that is who I have chosen. I know my opinion may not matter, but I won't give my body to them all like a trial run. Sex means something to me." We stopped in front of the door, nodding to the guard who stepped up. I knew he would linger, ensure my safety in the circumstances. He wouldn't be able to hear our conversations, but all I had to do to alert him to trouble was scream. Not that there would be cause for that with my five males, but I imagined my time with Ashric could prove a different matter.

  It felt reassuring to think of the fact that I had a safeguard of sorts for my time with him.

  "Be strong," Colm said, giving me one last squeeze before he turned and strolled back down the h
all to deal with the rest of the Sylfes. I took a deep breath before opening the door and stepping into the space. I slid it closed behind me, feeling the weight of five stares on me before I even raised my eyes from the floor.

  "Mireyah," Hollis breathed, stepping into my space and hugging me first. His hands ran over the silky material at my waist, and not for the first time I thought of how it contrasted to the far cheaper fabric my Godsvail uniform had been. The uniform I had worn because of him.

  Was it strange to feel luxury on my skin? My hands ran over the bare skin of his forearms, his shirt sleeves rolled up to reveal them. Did it feel odd to have my fingers not cracked and calloused, but smooth like a pampered princess?

  When Ryle took me into his arms and squeezed me tight, I was sure my human body might have cracked under the pressure. But as a Sylfe, my body was strong enough to withstand his strength much better. Tate's body sealing against the back of me came next, sandwiching me between the twins.

  Where before it might have sent a bolt of pleasure and anticipation through me, after Jessica’s reminder, it only made my heart twist with pain. I tried to remain still, letting them nuzzle against me. I let myself enjoy it for the briefest moment, knowing it could very well be the last time I felt surrounded by them.

  Safe between them. The place that had become my refuge in Godsvail could very well be tarnished forever.

  Shep stepped up next, pressing his lips to my forehead and holding there for a moment. The wind of the storms swept over me with the motion, like a rush of power he just couldn't control. I suspected all the men became far more powerful as Gods than they'd been as Descendants, but I couldn't focus on that. Couldn't think about the ways they might have changed until I knew the truth.

  It didn't matter that I loved them, or that I probably always would.

  If there was one thing I wouldn't tolerate, it was disloyalty. I'd behaved, during all the years of our separation, like I was still theirs and they were still mine. If they hadn't done the same, then there would be nothing left to salvage between us.

  "Are you going to say anything, Mireyah?" Char asked finally, and Shep stepped away so that the leader - the king - could stare me down. I stepped up to him, standing directly in front of him.

  I would not back down.

  "Hi," I breathed, drawing a little tip to his lips. "I'm glad you're all here. Really, I am. But there is something we need to discuss before we decide where we go from here."

  "There is no deciding, Little Northerner. I know exactly where we go from here," Char returned, his voice a hissing whisper, like wind whistling through a hole in the wall. But there was no mistaking the command in it, the way he just expected me to fall in line. I imagined that Char had experienced another five years of bending people to his will, of leading despite his youth among the Gods. There was no other option for Charolais. It was just who he was.

  I didn't want to ask. Didn't want to hear the answer, but there was no alternative. Not when I remembered the way I'd so foolishly believed the worst of them when it had come to Annalee. I'd thought them sleeping around then, and even with mounting evidence to show they were, I'd turned out to be wrong. My assumptions had almost led me to lose them unnecessarily.

  I wouldn't spend the rest of my life wondering. I had to know the truth, and I deserved to hear it from them directly. "Have you been with anyone else? Any of you?" I asked, expelling the breath I didn’t know I’d been holding in.

  Char jolted back, staring at me with his brow furrowed. He took a step back from me, his face twisting in a moment of pain before he smoothed his features back to his normal impassive expression that gave absolutely nothing away.

  "What would make you ask that?" Tate asked, stepping in next to me and looking at me so closely I could practically feel him inside my head.

  "There's a Sylfe here, Jessica. During one of my last viewings, it was a day when I normally expected you would come. You never did. Or at least, I didn't see you. She claims you all took her to a private room and shared her," I answered.

  Char's eyes rolled in frustration, and I felt my heart squeeze. Surely if it weren't true, they would just deny it immediately, right? They wouldn't prolong my suffering needlessly.

  "I want to be patient with you," Shephard ground out between his gritted teeth, and something in that temperamental voice registered as hurt. I didn't want to hurt them. I just needed the answer. "But we've been desperate to see you. Desperate waiting for you to be able to be Declared for and wanting nothing more than to just be with you. And all this time, you've worried that we were willing to throw you away for sex with a Sylfe?"

  "Shep," I whispered, and tears stung my eyes. They didn't hesitate to pool until they fell down my cheeks. Tate's face morphed into one of anguish, no doubt picking up on everything inside me in that moment. "She knew things. Things that I don't think anyone who hasn't been with you could know."

  "Like what?" Hollis challenged, crossing his arms over his chest. His red eyes glared down at me, and I knew that if I was wrong, he would punish me. I'd probably love it. I'd probably explode in his arms like a desperate thing.

  "She knew the twins liked to have a woman between them. She called it a twin sandwich," I admitted. “She also knows how much Shep likes ass.”

  "Lots of people knew that, Mireyah," Tate whispered. "Almost everyone in Godsvail knew that, and it isn't a concept that's exclusive to us. And Shep is known as being the ass man because that’s who he is. Her knowing that means nothing. It would mean nothing to you if you only trusted us."

  "But-"

  "Listen to me," Char grunted, and my head snapped to him. "We took a vow to one another, that our relationship with each other was more important than any relationship we could ever find outside of it. We promised that no matter what, no one would come between us.” He paused, and the way his white eyes burned into mine made me hold in a shudder. “And then you came along," he paused, letting the words sink in. I stepped forward, feeling chastised already.

  "Char-"

  "And you came between us. We all wanted you, but you hated us. We didn't know how we could have you given the circumstances, but we made it work because we love you. You're one of us, and you're a part of our bond and a part of our vow. We will always honor that vow above all else." His hand wrapped around my wrist, and I felt a jolt of pain. Being a Sylfe meant that it didn’t affect me, but I felt the hurt he wasn’t able to show in his voice.

  "There has been no one else, Mireyah," Tate spoke up and the anguish perfectly mirrored mine. "No matter what that Sylfe said or where she got her information. You are ours, and we are yours. That is our vow."

  I sniffled, wiping my tears off my face with the back of my hand. None of them moved to touch me, none seemed to have any interest in comforting me. "I just, I haven't seen you in so long."

  "What does that have to do with anything, Snow?" Ryle asked, looking at me in a way that reminded me far too much of his brother in that moment.

  "Five years is plenty of time to change your minds about me. To realize that I'm just a Sylfe, and I'm nothing special-" I didn't get the chance to finish the words, before Shephard swept me up and dropped me on the bed. He climbed over the top of me, pressing into me. Surrounded.

  Safe.

  My tears came harder, quiet sobs that wracked my body beneath him as I clung to him in desperation. My arms and legs did their best to wrap around him in an attempt to take comfort in him. "You're everything special to us, Mireyah," he thundered. “I never want to hear you question that again. We didn’t choose to share ourselves with you lightly. You’ve got to learn to trust that we know what’s best for all of us. Every choice, every decision we’ve made has been for the benefit of us and our relationship.”

  "But I don't even know who I am anymore," I said back, feeling hands touch my legs and my arms. Tate shifted me to cradle my head in his lap until we all connected in our cuddle attempt.

  "That's okay. We remember who you are," Hollis said, h
olding my face in between his hands, those red eyes staring deep into mine, daring me into intimacy I was happy to walk into. "We'll help erase what this place did to you. The confusion. Remind you of who you are and where you came from. We’ll remind you that the most important thing is that you’re ours. You belong with us."

  There was nothing to be said to that, no argument I could make. Because I wanted it. I wanted to remember.

  I wanted to not feel like every day I drowned in luxury and erased a little more of the girl who had fought. The girl who had looked Gods in the face and told them she'd rather freeze to death than obey.

  The girl who refused to die out of spite.

  The last time I'd been with them, I'd been fighting to keep myself. To hold true to me. This time it felt like they were fighting to bring me back to life, like I'd spent five years in purgatory being brainwashed and manipulated. Sated with cookies and cakes and tea and silk sheets and reading in the sun.

  I didn't know what I would do when the day came and I became a Goddess. I only knew with a sudden ferocity that the day would come. Because their vow wouldn't let them leave me behind.

  "Good?" Tate asked, sensing the renewed determination in me.

  I nodded, my head bobbing in his lap, and against Shep's shoulder. When Shep leveled his body off of mine, he pulled me to sit in the middle of the bed, and they surrounded me. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "It's not that I don't trust you, I swear. I just let my insecurities get the best of me."

  "I'm not mad," Hollis said with a grin. "Last time, we only found out about your beliefs of our affairs because you walked in on us confronting Annalee. This time you admitted it and asked. Even if you waited a long time, you did the right thing, and regardless of your insecurity, that tells me just how much you do trust us. You know we wouldn't lie about it. If we didn't want you, we wouldn't be with you."

  I nodded my assent, even as trepidation slid down my spine. I would need to confront Jessica.