Break My Fall (No Limits)

by Cameron, J. T.

  “Hope so.”

  Drew was pulling down the street by the time I got to the front porch. I took a moment to steel myself. I wasn’t all that worried about how it would go, thanks to my mom laying the groundwork with my dad, but I still had to remind myself to keep my resolve.

  The door was unlocked and when I stepped into the house, I smelled garlic bread and immediately knew my mom had made spaghetti for dinner. It had been my favorite since I was a kid.

  My parents came around the corner from the den as soon as they heard me. Mom took me in her arms, and I felt Dad’s hand on my back.

  “I’m so glad you’re here.” Mom squeezed me tighter. “I don’t ever want you to leave, but we’re not going to try to stop you.”

  And just like that, all the tension I’d felt about this conversation evaporated. Gone. In an instant, with those words.

  My Dad kissed my forehead. “I’m sorry about not listening to you earlier on the phone.”

  I held onto my mom but reached out for my dad, pulling him into our hug. “It’s okay.” I didn’t hold back the tears. “God, dinner smells good.”

  As we ate dinner, I laid out as much of my plan as I thought I needed to, telling them everything I could, but leaving out everything about Drew and blackjack.

  . . . . .

  When Mom and I had a moment alone, I said, “He took it well. What did you tell him?”

  She leaned closer to me and whispered. “I told him you were going to do what you needed to do and the last thing you needed was pressure from us.”

  I pressed my lips together, trying to control my emotion. My eyes blurred with tears, though, as I looked at my mother. “Thank you.”

  “And I told him I didn’t think he’d ever understand what this is like for you.” She looked sad. “Don’t get me wrong, he’s done a lot to protect you in all of this and he wants nothing more than to see you have a perfect life. It’s any parent’s wish. But…he’s a man. There’s no way he’ll understand what something like this does to a woman.”

  I was silent for a moment, thinking about what she said.

  She put her hand on mine. “This is all going to work out. I know it.”

  That was the same thing Drew had told me. I considered whether I should tell my parents about him, but was it really time to bring up the fact that I was falling in love with a guy just three months after the start of this turmoil? Probably not. Plus, what could I tell them about Drew? Especially about how he earned a living. They’d definitely want to know more about a boyfriend than they would someone who was just a friend, so I decided to leave it at that.

  Dad came back into the room, looking concerned. “You car isn’t in the driveway.”

  I looked at my mom, remembering that I told her I had come to Tampa with a friend. She must not have told my dad.

  “Oh, that’s right,” Mom said, looking at my dad. “She came with a friend.” She looked back at me. “I forgot about that and when I saw you, I was so happy I completely forgot about him.”

  “Him?” Dad’s eyes darted from my mom’s to mine.

  “The same guy you talked to on the phone this morning,” I said. “Drew.”

  Dad looked confused. “Well, where is he?”

  I shrugged. “He said he would go somewhere, ride around for a while and then come pick me up. He didn’t want to interfere with all of this.”

  Mom said, “Well, that’s silly. He could have eaten with us.”

  Before I could say anything, Dad said, “So you’re not staying here tonight?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t think so. I need to see Liz and get my stuff and I think we might leave really early in the morning, so I think I’m going to stay there.”

  I could tell Dad was biting his tongue, wanting to object and hoping I’d stay longer, but resisting, keeping his promise to my mother.

  Mom said, “It’s fine. We’ll come visit again soon. Maybe in a couple of weeks.”

  “That sounds great.”

  I picked up my phone and texted Drew.

  ME: I’m ready. You can come get me.

  DREW: Okay. On my way.

  ME: Remember how to get here?

  DREW: No, but GPS will.

  While I waited for him, I remembered that I needed to get a few things out of my old bedroom. Ever since graduation from high school and going off to college, every time I went in that room it was like walking back in time.

  My old desk in the corner still held some books from my high school classes. The shelf above the desk held some of my favorite books, and a few that I never finished but still had bookmarks in them where I had left off.

  The walls were nearly completely covered with posters of my favorite bands and actors from that period of my life. When I was in middle-school, my parents let me draw and paint on the walls. I stood there looking at my old masterpieces—murals designed by the mind of a young girl who was long gone now.

  Years worth of old clothes were still in the closet and in the large bottom drawer of the dresser. That drawer was where I’d hidden my diary until I burned it when I was sixteen, terrified of what my parents would think if they read it and discovered what was on my mind and what I’d been up to. In retrospect, that was nothing compared to what had happened to me since May.

  When I’d come here after the semester ended, I’d brought one suitcase full of winter clothes. I rolled it out of the closet, then sat down in front of my dresser. Pictures formed a border around the edges of the mirror. Most of them were me with friends, but some contained Kevin. I hadn’t even noticed those a few months ago. I guess looking at the mirror wasn’t on the priority list then.

  I hated the thought of his smiling face in my bedroom, even if it was just in pictures. What use would I ever have for these? None. So, in an act that turned out to me more cathartic than I could have imagined, I took down each picture with Kevin in it, tore them up, and discarded the pieces into the trashcan.

  There wasn’t anything else I needed to get, so I grabbed the suitcase handle and started to leave the room. I stopped, looking back at it before closing the door. Despite the fact that I had stayed in this room just a few months ago, I felt like I hadn’t set foot inside it for years. Maybe I had done more growing up over the summer than I had in the previous three years. Or maybe it was more a matter of having lost an innocence that I’d managed to hold onto for that long.

  . . . . .

  Drew showed up fifteen minutes later.

  There were some awkward brief moments as he met my parents, mainly due to the fact that I had withheld the truth about our relationship. I felt somewhat guilty about it again, even though I knew it was just too much to add to everything that was going on and that my motive wasn’t a bad one.

  We didn’t spend much time standing around chatting, and when we were getting ready to leave, I hugged my mom, then my dad. Drew shook my dad’s hand, and my mom gave him a hug, thanking him for making the trip with me.

  Walking to the car, my dad said to Drew, “Thanks for looking out for her.”

  “Don’t mention it,” Drew said.

  As we pulled out of the driveway, I wondered if my parents would ever know just how much Drew really was looking out for me.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  “I have some of your things in my trunk,” Liz said as we were making our way to the front door. “We can stop by my car on the way to yours.”

  It was almost ten a.m. the next morning. Drew and I spent the night in the extra bedroom at Travis’s place. Most of the evening was spent catching up with Liz, talking, sipping some wine, and watching her happily explaining how she planned to redecorate the entire townhouse. “Men have no idea what they’re doing,” she’d said.

  Travis hadn’t heard it. He and Drew were sitting out on the screened-in porch, talking. About what, I had no idea. By now, Travis knew the whole story about my summer. I’d trusted Liz to fill him in.

  Later, as Drew and I were going to sleep, I’d asked him what he
and Travis were talking about. He told me it was mostly guy stuff. When I pressed him on it, though, he told me Travis was pissed with Kevin and that the other guys in our group of friends had all turned on him when they found out what Kevin had done to me over the last couple of days.

  When Drew and I woke up, Travis had already gone to work. Liz had made breakfast—toast, eggs, and a huge bowl of fruit. I joked that she had never once made breakfast of any kind in all the years I’d known her and here she was going all domestic on me. After we ate, Drew and I had decided it was time to get on the road.

  Drew followed us out of the den. “Need help?”

  Liz turned as she reached for the door handle. “No, just some things I borrowed and never gave back. Mostly clothes. Nothing big.”

  “I’ll get our stuff out of the bedroom.” Drew started to head up the stairs. “That’ll give you two a few minutes to talk before we go.”

  “Get my stuff out of the bathroom?”

  “You got it.”

  As Liz and I walked down the sidewalk while Drew gathered our things, she said, “I know what you went through wasn’t worth it, but…Drew. You’re really getting some payback there.”

  “I like to think he’s the one getting the good deal here,” I joked.

  “Oh, yeah. What you went through was definitely worth it from his perspective.”

  I laughed. “Thanks.”

  I was thinking that this one-on-one time with Liz was going to be a rare thing from now on. I didn’t want to think it would never happen again, but I’d learned over the summer that life can change with only a second’s notice. And I didn’t want to let this opportunity pass.

  “I’m going to miss you so much.”

  She turned her head toward me and even though she was smiling, I could see her eyes welling up. “Me, too. But I’m happy for you. To be honest, I was feeling kind of selfish.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She sighed and crossed her arms as she leaned on the hood of her car. “I wanted you to come back because I have so much fun with you and I can’t imagine my senior year without you as my roommate. But, you know, it could have been hell on you, considering all that happened.”

  My eyes were getting a little blurry, but I blinked the tears away. “I know. I dreaded it all summer. But you’re one of the few reasons I would want to come back. I mean, if I could. But….”

  “I know.” She spread her arms wide. “But, hey, look how this worked out for both of us.”

  “So true. You and Travis have to come to Charleston for a visit.”

  “We will.”

  “Soon?”

  “I promise,” she said.

  Neither of us held back the tears as we hugged.

  But even through the tears, my peripheral vision picked up the silver car that had pulled up and stopped next to us.

  The window rolled down and my stomach felt like it did whenever I was on a roller-coaster.

  “Shit,” I whispered as I pulled back from Liz.

  I felt the blood rush away from my face. My heart pounded, my legs felt weak.

  Liz looked over where I was looking. She spoke for both of us when she said, “You’re stalking her now? Get the fuck out of here.”

  Kevin didn’t pull into a parking space. He turned off his car where it was and got out. I wasn’t afraid of him. I had no worries that he’d try to hurt me or Liz. I was just repulsed at the sight of him.

  As he approached, Liz and I didn’t back away. He held his hands up as if to indicate that he was harmlessly just stopping by. “Hey, Leah. I thought I could find you here.”

  He looked different. More so than I would have imagined after roughly three months of not seeing him. His hair was longer than he’d ever let it get in the time that I knew him. He had put on a few pounds. Not many, but enough to notice, and most of it had gathered around his belly. It wasn’t anything like the surprise of finding out what kind of person he really was, though. The physical change just seemed to complete the process of my realization that he wasn’t who I thought he was.

  “Kevin, leave.” Those were the only two words I wanted to say to him. I thought I’d made myself clear on that last phone call.

  “I just want to talk.”

  Liz let out a bitter laugh. “Hey, shouldn’t you be at home posting pictures on the Internet?”

  Kevin didn’t even look at her. He kept his eyes on me. “I don’t know what she’s talking about.”

  So that was it. His defense. His excuse. He was going to play dumb, claim no knowledge of the things we all knew he had posted, and he’d probably get away with it.

  “Bullshit.” Liz put her hand on my back. “Let’s go inside.”

  Before we could turn around to make our way back to the apartment, Kevin took a step toward us.

  He looked beyond desperate. Maybe even a little…off. I don’t know what it was I saw that day, but there was something in Kevin’s eyes I’d never seen before. “Leah, wait.”

  I didn’t hear Drew coming down the sidewalk and apparently Liz didn’t, either. When he brushed past us, we were both startled. Liz and I took a step back. Drew was now right in front of us, maybe ten feet ahead, and standing within arm’s reach of Kevin. I guess he hadn’t seen Drew coming, either, or he had and was surprised by what was happening.

  My ex wasn’t a big guy, 5’11” and he’d put on a little weight, but he wasn’t huge. He probably had twenty or thirty pounds on Drew, who had a more athletic build to begin with. As they stood facing each other, Drew was a couple of inches taller.

  “Who the fuck is this?” Kevin said, leaning a little so he could look around Drew and see me. I kept my eyes trained on Drew’s back, worried about what might happen.

  “I’m with Leah.” Drew’s voice was calm, steady, assured.

  Kevin’s, on the other hand, was loud and as he raised his voice, the pitch went up. “Get the fuck out of here.” Kevin stepped to the side, as if trying to walk past Drew.

  Drew moved in the same direction, one fluid step to the right, keeping himself between Kevin and me.

  Kevin stopped, looked at Drew, and smirked. “Move, man.”

  “Move me.”

  Kevin emitted a laugh that I was sure he meant to sound dismissive, but it made him sound more frustrated, perhaps even a little scared. “Move you?”

  “That’s all I need.”

  I thought back to the day I had told Drew about what happened to me. I had jokingly asked him if he would drive to Tampa and kick Kevin’s ass, and he had answered seriously—no, he wouldn’t do that, wouldn’t put himself in the position of committing a crime and losing his freedom…at least not unless Kevin laid a hand on me or him.

  Kevin said, “That’s all you need for what?”

  “Move me,” Drew repeated, taunting Kevin, sounding like he wanted an excuse to pummel him.

  The Kevin I knew wouldn’t try to hit Drew. But the Kevin I knew seemed to be a thing of the past, so I couldn’t be entirely sure he wouldn’t try it.

  Then fear stabbed through me as I quickly recalled a few flash memories….

  Kevin putting together a particleboard desk in my room, opening the box with a knife he pulled from his back pocket….

  Kevin pulling his knife from a pocket in his cargo shorts to gut a fish on the pier….

  Kevin pulling his knife out to open something he’d bought that came packaged in that hard plastic you can never get open without scissors or a blade….

  Kevin always carried a knife…

  As I debated how to warn Drew, Kevin spoke. “I’ll see you around, Leah. We’ll talk.”

  “No.” Drew shook his head back and forth slowly. “All you have is the pictures now.”

  Kevin’s face scrunched up in anger. “Fuck you, man. Whoever you are.” He peered around Drew so he could see me. “Who is this?”

  “Leah’s new boyfriend,” Liz said with a note of triumph in her voice, as if she had anything to gain by rubbing it in Kevin’s
face.

  This needed to deescalate, and fast. I stepped toward Drew, reaching to put my hand on his shoulder, finding it rigid. Drew’s right hand—the one farthest from Kevin—reached back and found my side. He was urging me to back up, so I did.

  “Your new boyfriend doesn’t say much.” Kevin looked from me, to Drew, taunting him.

  Drew took a step toward Kevin. “And you’re all talk. I’m waiting. Are you going to move me or just leave?”

  Kevin rolled his eyes dramatically, an overly forced expression. “Something’s wrong with this guy, Leah. He’s crazy or something.” Kevin never took his eyes off of Drew. He backed up a few steps, then turned toward his car. He opened the door and started to duck into it, but stuck his head up over the roof. “Nice rebound, Leah. Seriously. Great choice.”

  I fumed when I heard his words. Drew was anything but a rebound. I wanted Kevin to know that, but I quickly realized that his words were nothing more than an attempt to hurt me, rooted in his jealousy and anger, and I’d rather not respond and simply let him stew in his own misery.

  Drew didn’t turn around. He watched Kevin close the door and start his car.

  “Holy shit,” Liz whispered. “That was fucking nuts.”

  I didn’t say anything as I stared at the back of Drew’s head. I’d never seen him act like that before, but we’d never been in a situation like this, either. I wondered if he would be angry about the “rebound” comment. I wanted to see his face, get some kind of feeling for how angry he was.

  As Kevin pulled out of the parking lot, Drew finally turned around. He rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Fuckin’ coward.” He walked toward me, hugged me, asking, “You okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine.” I buried my face in his chest.

  “I’m not,” Liz said. “I wanted to see that boy’s ass beat.”

  I laughed, needing the comic relief, and with my ear against Drew’s chest I heard him laugh softly as well.

  . . . . .

  Twenty minutes later, we were merging onto I-275 North. In about four hours we would be getting on I-95, which would take us back to South Carolina. We would be back in Charleston by dinner time, and Drew had already planned a quiet meal on the boat.