by Lola StVil
Godotwait4me: I hear you tell me things. And it’s sexy as $@$#$
notall2gether: What kind of things?
Godotwait4me: How much you like it. How much you like me. And how good it feels
notall2gether: I’m glad to know I’m so complimentary in your head
Godotwait4me: And giving
notall2gether: I bet
Godotwait4me: So . . . what do you think about (and don’t get shy on me). It’s your turn
notall2gether: I think about doing Jay Z to cheer him up since his wife has left him all alone to be with you
Godotwait4me: C’mon Rain. What do you think about?
notall2gether: Hands. Kissing. Hair stroking
Godotwait4me: Awwww
notall2gether: Whatever :)
Godotwait4me: Do you ever cast anyone in a role?
notall2gether: Yeah, I casted you
Godotwait4me: Really???
notall2gether: Yeah, you’re the bellhop Jay Z and I ring for when hours of acrobatic sex leave us dehydrated
Godotwait4me: Do I get to watch?
notall2gether: Sure why not
Godotwait4me: For real, Rain. Do you think about me when you are alone, doing it?
notall2gether: I haven’t been doing it bc lately I have had something better
Godotwait4me: What?
notall2gether: This
Godotwait4me: Night?
notall2gether: Night
He Lingers
In the milk in my cereal
The sound in my steps. The music in my laughter.
He fills spaces between my pauses
In My Mind’s Eye
We’ve been traveling
Godot and I cross oceans, hop islands, space walk
We’ve had lunch at the Louvre
Dinner at the Plaza, breakfast in bed
He’s painted, serenaded, and
Loved me
It’s Early
Too early for him to be online
So I send a poem in hopes that
Just contacting him will hold me over
How You’ll Know (That I Like You)
I am usually a Times New Roman girl
Every now and then I get wild
And I throw in some
Arial Black
Then there was the time I got reckless
Gave in to peer pressure and used
Matisse ITC
But today just for you I will bend
I will shape, I will sculpt
Everything I am
And give you
Edwardian Script
(Wow, when did I become such a flirt?)
Is Anything
Supposed to feel this good?
Won’t the gods come tear us apart?
We’ve stolen all the world’s happiness and
Poured it all into texts
Maybe the Gods
Don’t yet know what we have taken from them
When they do, how swift will their justice be?
How much will this cost us?
Godotwait4me: So . . . you have 2 bffs. 1 is gay and the other is sick. A lot to deal with
notall2gether: They are the ones who have to put up with me mostly
Godotwait4me: You seem super easy to get along with
notall2gether: I’m a hard one but I’ve got my reasons . . .
Godotwait4me: Is that from Desperado?
notall2gether: OMG, you know it?
Godotwait4me: My Dad loves those old people songs.
notall2gether: My Dad too! He used to play them all the time
Godotwait4me: What exactly does it mean to “ride fences”?
notall2gether: idk. Maybe it’s like something they used to do in the 60s like burning bras
Godotwait4me: I can’t believe you know that song
notall2gether: Sad but true. I was the only 6 yr old to know all the words to American Pie.
Godotwait4me: Long version?
notall2gether: Yeah, Dad said the short version was crap
Godotwait4me: I got my Dad a double CD of oldies for fathers day last year. I wish I didn’t
notall2gether: Why
Godotwait4me: I think it makes him . . . sad
notall2gether: But he still liked it. It’s a good kind of sad
Godotwait4me: ???
notall2gether: I mean he’s gonna be sad anyway so it might as well be to his fav tune, right?
Godotwait4me: I guess . . . Hey?
notall2gether: What?
Godotwait4me: Dance with me?
notall2gether: Via text?
Godotwait4me: Yeah. Wherever you are. Stop and be with me
notall2gether: K, what are we dancing to?
Godotwait4me: I have the perfect song. My parents danced to it at their wedding. It’s their song. I’m sending you a youtube link
notall2gether: “Have I told you lately”?
Godotwait4me: Rod Stewart, is that cool?
notall2gether: Lol. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Let’s do it!
[Please wait for music to load]
notall2gether: That was sweet, but everyone at Starbucks thinks I’m crazy now bc of you
notall2gether: I’m going to have to relocate. Thx Godot!
Godotwait4me: I’m sure you look great. Didn’t know you could dance
notall2gether: I’m the best dancer at St. Bernadette’s
Godotwait4me: Is that your school?
notall2gether: No. It’s from Grease! Dash said any self-respecting gay boy
notall2gether: has to have a bff with extensive musical theater knowledge
Godotwait4me: Well he is doing a good job with you
notall2gether: Thanks, I actually really like the song you picked. And the part where he says
notall2gether: “ease my troubles, that’s what you do” that reminds me of us
Godotwait4me: Me too
notall2gether: It’s late. Gotta go. Dance again soon?
Godotwait4me: It’s a date
notall2gether: Night
Godotwait4me: Night
Love.
Fake like I know how it works
Everyone else does
Later We Ask Boots About Her Health
She dodges the question with skilled, rehearsed moves
Dash pushes for more info; she declines
We sit in silence, our sorrow-coated eyes dry like deserts
She hates when we cry, so we keep it in
(Mostly)
Maybe She’s Just Getting the Flu
I throw out in desperation
Dash leaps at it and holds on for dear life
And the Headaches?
Well, Dash and I agree it’s from stress, homework, and junk
She is just fine . . .
notall2gether: Boots wants to have sex
Godotwait4me: Cool. Can I watch?
notall2gether: Be serious. She should wait
Godotwait4me: Isn’t she ya know . . .
notall2gether: Yeah, she’s dying but not today. She should wait until . . .
Godotwait4me: There is no until for her. She has to live in the moment. It’s all she has
notall2gether: So bc she is short on time, she can do what she wants?
Godotwait4me: Let’s say it’s your last days. What are you doing?
notall2gether: You
Godotwait4me: Seriously?
notall2gether: It’s my last days on earth right?
Godotwait4me: Yeah
notall2gether: So . . . yeah
Godotwait4me: That’s the only way you would have sex with me?
notall2gether: No, if you had a deadly illness, I’d do you
Godotwait4me: Awww
notall2gether: But I would not be good at it
Godotwait4me: Yes you would
notall2gether: No, I am not sure where everything go
es
Godotwait4me: Will send you instruction manual
notall2gether: So . . . you have done it before?
Godotwait4me: Kind of
notall2gether: ???
Godotwait4me: I got close then my stupid sis came home and we had to stop
notall2gether: Oh. So you got a girl?
Godotwait4me: It was last year
notall2gether: So she is not your girl now?
Godotwait4me: No
notall2gether: Why
Godotwait4me: She liked some other guy
notall2gether: Sucks. How far did you two get?
Godotwait4me: I took off her underwear
notall2gether: And . . .
Godotwait4me: Sis came home
notall2gether: Did she see you?
Godotwait4me: No. I am world’s fastest dresser. Nearly had heart attack
notall2gether: Shame to be so young and get so close to death
Godotwait4me: All that and I didn’t even get to do it
notall2gether: Did you not try again?
Godotwait4me: She went to spend the summer with her aunt. Met new guy
notall2gether: You miss her?
Godotwait4me: not since it has begun to “Rain”
notall2gether: Are you always this sweet?
Godotwait4me: Yes, aren’t I adorable?
notall2gether: And humble
Godotwait4me: Glad you noticed
notall2gether: I haven’t had sex yet
Godotwait4me: How far have you gotten?
notall2gether: Farther than my dad would have wanted. Not as far as I would have liked
Godotwait4me: Details
notall2gether: He took off my bra and touched me a little
Godotwait4me: Lucky guy
Godotwait4me: Then what?
notall2gether: Nothing
Godotwait4me: Why
notall2gether: I chickened out
Godotwait4me: Why
notall2gether: He was in the math club
Godotwait4me: And your body rejects future mathematicians?
notall2gether: The whole time he would rather have been doing fractions
Godotwait4me: What happened after?
notall2gether: We ordered a pizza and he helped me with my algebra
Godotwait4me: Nice guy
notall2gether: We were just friends
Godotwait4me: Is that what we are?
notall2gether: Is that all you want us to be?
Godotwait4me: idk
Godotwait4me: Let’s meet. I want to hang with you in real world
notall2gether: Been to real world; not much there
Godotwait4me: There’s you. I don’t even know what your laugh sounds like
notall2gether: It’s not all that impressive
Godotwait4me: Bugs Bunny like?
notall2gether: More Daffy Duck
Godotwait4me: Ohhh my fav.
notall2gether: It’s late. Gotta go :)
Lately
Dash has done away with bright-colored tees
Advertising love for sale
He now wears monotone everything that allows him to
Blend
The Difference Between Him
And the White Noise is the difference between
White and off-white
In short my friend is
Fading
When Asked About
Change, Dash insists he’s simply experimenting
He’s trying out straight boys’ skin
Even His Walk Has Changed
He used to glide down the hallway
Mark each step with his vibrant, sparkling bounce
Now he walks down the hallway
Marks each step with the sound of uniform
Sameness
We Watch As
Dash breaks apart from the inside
He’s been great in my eyes
Never shrinking in the face of
Soul-sucking succubi
Who aim to leave merely a shell
He has never failed to
Rail. Rally. Rage.
Against the many
till now
His Undoing
Is for his dad
Figures if he breaks himself up
Gathers himself back together
He’ll be a different person
Bring Up the Subject
Of Sam and the dance again
Dash shrugs and gives us
Reason #185:
Ask someone out during a full moon???
Dance Overdrive (A Nursery Rhyme)
Sally from English thought John would ask
But two weeks have since passed
She put her hopes on Peter
Maybe he would need her
Peter came through and asked her to go
But only if Kay says no
Carl wants to go with Jill
Who’s not too cute but still . . .
Jill has eyes for Jack
But already said yes, can’t take it back
Matt wants to go with Terry but she’s too tall
Who wants to tiptoe kiss after all?
Mandy is going with Mark
’Cause he can stay out past dark
Every girl’s found someone to take her
Be it the butcher or the baker
Me, I’ll be home doing just fine
Got everything I need online.
Then Again
I can picture it now
Entering the gym, Godot by my side
The elegance of our entrance makes each pair of eyes stay on us
While we dance, laugh, and cuddle, people look on, bewildered
That gorgeous, sexy, charming girl, she looks like Shay Summers
But, how, how can that be . . . ?
One Thing I Hate
About seeing Godot only online?
The dances we won’t dance
The movies we won’t see
The hands we won’t hold
Then Meet Him in the Real World
Think to myself
What Godot and I have now is amazing
Could we survive IRL?
Never.
notall2gether: G, what’s up?
Godotwait4me: If my house burned down with me in it, it would fall right in line with the day I been having
notall2gether: That bad?
Godotwait4me: Can’t begin to tell you
notall2gether: Try
Godotwait4me: Why? You gonna fix it?
notall2gether: Yeah, I know people
Godotwait4me: Thx but I don’t think you can help me
notall2gether: What happened?
Godotwait4me: Rents fighting for property. Who owned what and when
notall2gether: Sorry
Godotwait4me: Why would they get married if they were just gonna split?
Godotwait4me: What was the point?
notall2gether: I don’t think they knew
Godotwait4me: She knew. She knew she would never be faithful. So why say yes to a guy
Godotwait4me: if you’re gonna break his heart a few years later?
notall2gether: I guess things don’t turn out the way you think they will
Godotwait4me: Yeah like you and me
notall2gether: ???
Godotwait4me: I thought if I found a really cool chick who was silly, smart and sweet, she and
Godotwait4me: I would hang all the time. But you want nothing to do with me
notall2gether: That’s not true. You know how I feel about you
Godotwait4me: Yeah, you like me so much you never want to see me
notall2gether: Don’t be like that
Godotwait4me: Yeah. I know. I gotta be the “understanding” type.
Godotwait4me: The guy who lets you take your time and go the pace you want.
; Godotwait4me: But I have spent the last 2 hours listening to my dad fight to keep
Godotwait4me: a summer house harder than he fought to keep me
notall2gether: I’m sorry about that
Godotwait4me: I don’t feel like being understanding. I feel like seeing you, let’s meet up in 30.
notall2gether: I can’t
Godotwait4me: Why
notall2gether: Bc I’m not ready
Godotwait4me: When will you be?
notall2gether: idk
Godotwait4me: Thx Rain, that’s really helpful
[Godotwait4me has logged off]
All the While My Friends Still Tried to Find
Reasons why I should meet up with Godot
He could be foreign = Shay, it’s your duty as an American
He could be from another galaxy = Shay, it’s your duty as an earthling
He could be hot = Shay, it’s your duty as a gay boy’s best friend
They Found Reasons
Hiding in places I never thought to look
Beneath mattress. Behind fridge. Back of closet.
I kindly rejected each with courteous letter
Dear Reason & Logic, Inc.:
Shay Summers no longer
1. Needs
2. Desires
Nor
3. Requires your services.
She will seek representation from competitor
Irrational Joy & Blind Bliss, Inc.
Ms. Summers thanks you for your years of service
Boots Would Like
Me to invest in the self-help section of the bookstore
She points out that low self-esteem can hold people back in life
Dash points out that big girls like me are sexy
I point out the hour
We are late for class
Judging from Our Texts
Godot’s really into us meeting
But why
Why risk A Good Thing?
Speaking of Good Things
Dash is bursting with excitement
His dad’s company is having its annual father-and-son golf tournament
For the first time his dad invited him
At What Point
Should we remind him
He can’t golf?
Should we do it before
Or after he remembers
How long it took him
To make contact with the ball
When we played miniature golf?
Oh, and when exactly should you point out the hideous
Plaid, throw-up-colored golf pants?
Before He Tells You
He has his heart set on it
Damn it!
Dash’s Dad
Sat him on the bed, put arms around him
Told him how proud he’d be
To have his son by his side
Win or lose
Parents
Should be made to take many classes
Before kids can be had
First period: