Things That Go Bump At Night

by C. A. Saari

  Jake continued to stare at me for a few more seconds, then settled back into his seat.

  “I don’t think so.” He said nonchalantly. “You’re not the seat police.”

  I gasped at him. Then whipped my head back to my book, letting my hair fall back into its protective curtain.

  Dang it if that wasn’t actually funny…and dang it if it didn’t make me want to grin. What a jerk.

  I skipped rushing to my next class for my favorite seat so that I could make a stop at my locker, hoping to see Kendra, but she wasn’t there. I text her again, but there was no answer. Again. I missed my favorite corner seat and instead had to sit near the middle, in front of some jackhole who kept pulling out single strands of my hair. I ignored him and by the end of class, there was a pretty good pile of dark hair on the floor behind me. I felt like crying.

  I finally saw Kendra at lunch hour, she was headed for the cafeteria. I risked calling out to her, when she looked my way, her smile to welcome a good friend turned to a scowl.

  Wow, she was really mad.

  I made my way out to my tree. It was early September, still warm. I knew I had a good six weeks before it was too cold to sit out here. I crossed the street with my head down and unfortunately, didn’t pick it up in time to change my route without being obvious.

  Jake stood against my favorite tree, his very impressive arms crossed over his very impressive chest.

  “Really?” I said, too worried about Kendra to have much fight in me.

  He smiled. He actually smiled. Bastard. There it was! A good swearword. I’d call him that to his face the next chance I got.

  “Really.” He answered. “I think you and I got off on the wrong foot, and I would like to start over.” He held out his hand. And wouldn’t you know it…I didn’t flinch. I didn’t flinch. How was that possible? Even Kendra made me flinch and I had almost three years of trust in with her. My eyes went from Jake’s hand to his eyes. He must have seen the confusion in mine, so he took a step forward and smiled lightly. “I’m Jake. And this is the part where you accept my offered hand and introduce yourself.”

  He wasn’t going away, was he? I sighed and accepted his hand, letting him do the shaking.

  “Remi.” I said simply. My gaze fell to our joined hands when he didn’t let go, and I wasn’t real comfortable with the burning sensation that was crawling up my arm right now. I wondered if he felt it too. I pulled my hand out of his grip and took a step back. “It was nice to meet you Jake.” I said, my voice sounded funny. “But I’d like to have my lunch now, so this is the part where I’m very politely going to excuse myself.”

  Jake cleared his throat. It caught my attention…did he do that because he felt a little electric too? Was his stomach doing summersaults like mine was?

  “Do you mind if I join you?” He asked, turning as I stepped past him to sink down to the ground near the tree. I looked up at him.

  “Won’t your friends wonder where you’ve gone?”

  He grinned. “They know where I am.”

  He may have grinned, but now I frowned.

  “You told them you were coming out here? To have lunch with me?”

  He nodded and my frown intensified.

  “Did they tell you that you should probably get back on your meds all quick like?”

  Now he laughed.

  “Well, like you said, I’m the president of the club.” He came and sat next to me when I shot him a wry smile. “Look, I know you are suspicious, and I’m sorry. I’ve wanted to approach you since last year, but…you’re rather intimidating.”

  “I’m intimidating?” I wondered what color the sky was in the world he lived in.

  “Kinda, yeah.” His grin turned a little sheepish.

  “Well, if that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black.” I only half joked.

  “You think I’m intimidating?” He asked, when I nodded, he smiled. “So, is that why you’ve never approached me?”

  I gave a single laugh out loud.

  “No. I’ve never had any intention of approaching you.” I had no trouble admitting it.

  “Wow. Ouch.” He plucked a blade of grass from in front of me, leaning close to do so. He smelled so good. I took a deep breath. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I prayed that he couldn’t hear it. I looked up from where his hands played in the grass, he was watching me.

  “Okay.” I stood and stepped away. “This is too weird. I don’t understand what is going on here.”

  Jake stood also.

  “I don’t understand either. But don’t you feel it?”

  “Feel what?” The world currently spinning out of control? Yes, I felt it.

  “The pull?” He took a step towards me, I took one back. We did this several times before he had me pinned against the tree. Not physically. He was still a good step away, but if he were to step forward, I’d wouldn’t be able to step back. “I felt it the first time I saw you last year. Felt it every time since. Do you feel it at all?”

  Yes, actually I did. My head felt light. I have never kissed a boy in my entire life, but I had the urge to grab his face and do that exact thing right now. It was almost like a hunger. If that’s what he meant by pull, then I was certainly being pulled.

  And it scared the crap out of me. So what did I do? I went defensive. Good job Remi.

  “Well, I’m only going to say this because you already know it, but, you’re hot. So, I’m pretty sure most girls feel the pull.”

  Jake frowned at me and took a step back. My heart constricted. Oh, no. No, no, no, please don’t go. Please don’t go. I begged in my head.

  “You really don’t like me, do you?” He tossed away the blade of grass he’d been playing with, I couldn’t see any of the humor from earlier on his face.

  I took a step forward. How odd is that?

  “It’s not that. I mean, I kinda don’t know you. It’s not that I don’t like you…it’s just that I have…” Oh Christ. How did I explain myself to him? No one knew me except Kendra, and even she didn’t know everything.

  “You have what?” Jake asked gently, he didn’t step forward, but he did lean.

  “Trust issues.” It was true; it was vague and only one layer of my many problems, but it was all I felt like admitting to at this point in time. Especially to him.

  Was that relief I saw in his eyes? Was he relieved? What the hell was he so relieved about? He was apparently feeling some pull –yes, I felt it too- towards a girl who was clearly a basket case. How was he still standing here?

  “Trust issues.” He seemed to say to himself. He made eye contact with me then and smiled. “Alright. Well, I’ll just have to prove I’m trust worthy then.” He reached out again, and again I didn’t flinch. Yes, I watched his hand make for my face and I didn’t flinch away from it. What was up with that? He laid his palm against my cheek and smiled. “See, you already trust me more than you did yesterday.”

  I knew he was referring to my monumental flinch in Calculus. Hopefully he just assumed it was a trust thing. Knowing my dad beat the crap out of me when his dinner wasn’t on time wasn’t something boys wanted to get involved with.

  That should probably remain my little secret.

  The bell peeled and I jumped. Fastest lunch ever.

  “Come on. I’ll walk you in.”

  I still looked at him warily, but didn’t argue. It was one thing to come out to my tree and meet me for lunch, out of sight of the entire student body. But to walk in with me was a whole other matter. I was expecting him to get as far as the street and then to sprint across, leaving me in the dust. But what does he actually do? He takes my hand. My freaking hand! I tried to pull away, but he held fast, almost as if he had been expecting me to do so.

  “Jake. Please let go. I can’t do this. I can’t walk in there holding your hand. It’s already going to be bad enough with these girls seeing you talking to me, I really don’t want to incur their full wrath.”

  “What wrath?” He asked amused, loo
king both ways before letting us cross the street. He still hadn’t let go of my hand. And I didn’t answer his question, but asked one of my own instead.

  “Why are you holding my hand?” It’s not like we had just agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend or anything like that.

  “Building trust.” He smiled down at me.

  “Building…wow.” I said sarcastically. “You think humiliating me, or yourself is going to build trust?”

  Now he did stop, on the sidewalk just before the school. He turned to me, but had yet to let go of my hand. He looked slightly offended.

  “How is holding my hand humiliating to you? Do you find me offensive in some way?”

  “Have you not learned anything during your past year here? I’m the humiliating one. Going in there holding hands will only make people ask you if you prefer gender challenged individuals which will humiliate you, and I will be humiliated because they will call me gender challenged. See what a vicious cycle this will be?”

  He smiled. What a jerk!

  “No one thinks you’re gender challenged Remi.”

  “Doesn’t matter what they think. Matters what they say out loud.”

  “That doesn’t really matter much either.” He argued.

  “Says the guy who has probably never been picked on a day in his life.”

  Now his smile turned upside down.

  “So, why haven’t you done something to change it?”

  I laughed. Once. I was getting pretty good at that.

  “Change it? Really? How do I change assholes?” Yep. I finally swore.

  “Well, you can’t really change assholes, but you can change you. Not that I think you need to.” I like that he hurriedly tacked that on at the end; brownie points for butt kissing. I gave him my best cynical look, but he didn’t smile like I thought he would and I soon found out why; what he said next was pretty critical. “I mean, you’re beautiful, Remi. I saw it from day one, but you let people have this perception of you. And while I don’t think you should change for assholes, I do think that you could change for yourself. I can’t imagine you enjoy avoiding your entire life.”

  After a moment of stunned silence I tried to tug my hand from his, but he continued to hold fast.

  “Wow, what an excellent way to build trust.” I said going for a verbal attack, since simply walking away was out of the question. “Yeah, you and I are going to be such awesome friends. Tell me that I’m beautiful and you feel a pull, but hey, Remi, get hotter and people will like you more. That’s such awesome insight. Let me file that mental plumb away for later so that I can enjoy it over and over again.”

  “That’s not what I meant and you know it. I simply want you to enjoy things. Especially me and you and this awesome friendship we’re going to have.” How nice of him to throw my words back at me. I narrowed my eyes at him.

  “There is no me and you, we are not friends.”

  This time he did drop my hand and I felt panic. But I stood silently and watched him search my face for a moment, sigh, shake his head, then walk slowly to the steps that would lead up to the big front doors, because while I was an A student, I was clearly a moron and I just let him go.

  I turned away from him and swallowed back a lump in my throat. Great. I’ve known the guy all of five minutes and he can already make me cry.

  “No.” He said and my head whipped back in his direction. “I’m not going to let you do that.” He came back to stand in front of me. “This is the easy way out for you, isn’t it?” The bell peeled again; we were late for class, but so were the several people watching us from the big doors, eating up every moment.

  I hope they got detention for their tardiness.

  “Easy way out of what?” I wasn’t sure exactly what it was he was talking about, but he sounded a little bit like Kendra right now.

  “Anything. Everything. You let nothing in. You push everything away, don’t you?”

  I leaned forward slightly and gave him my best confused slash exasperated look.

  “I have no idea what I’m supposed to be letting in here, Jake. Before yesterday I didn’t even know you knew I existed, and now, you’re asking me to be, what? Your friend, your girl-” No. I couldn’t even say that. Why would Jake Wagner ever ask me to be his girlfriend? That was absurd. But my near slip up had his features relaxing, he almost smiled.

  “Just building trust at the moment, remember?” He said softly.

  I sighed.

  “I still don’t understand.”

  “Maybe when you trust me, you will.”

  I sighed again. But it had a little resignation to it. Not that he won this round, but I was willing to let it play out for a while. He smiled and held his hand out as if he was asking me to dance.

  “No.” I said simply and turned to walk up the stairs. Jake laughed and followed me. “One thing at a time, alright? We can walk in together, but let’s not shock to whole of the nation by holding hands like we’re going steady or something, okay?”

  “Aww. But shock and awe is my thing.” He whined good-naturedly as he fell into step next to me, I couldn’t help but to grin.

  “You aren’t kidding. Imagine my shock when you said hi yesterday.”

  “I don’t have to imagine it, I was there. You had this whole Grudge thing going on with the eyeball through the hair bit.”

  “Hey!” I smacked him in the bicep; it probably hurt me more than it did him, but he laughed again.

  I didn’t realize at the time, but I’d later hear that I walked into school that afternoon without my customary slouch.

  Talk about shock and awe.

  3

  “Can we try again tomorrow morning?” I begged. Kendra had taken a seat at a completely different table at art that day. She was mad. She’d never blown me off before. No matter how difficult I could be at times, she’d always waited it out. But this time, apparently I had crossed a line with her, and forgiveness wasn’t on the table right now. I had to wait until she was at the supply cabinet before I could get a private word with her. “I promise I won’t skip on you. I was just scared.”

  She threw me a dirty look. Ouch.

  “Okay.” I amended, desperate to get that look off her face. “Terrified. Overwhelmed. But I’m willing to try again.”

  “Are you?” She slammed the cabinet door shut and turned to me, the anger in her eyes threw me off. “Does your change of heart have anything to do with Jake talking to you again today? You suddenly want my pretty expensive clothes because you think he’ll like it? Forget your best friend. Who cares what she thinks.”

  I cringed. Yeah, that was just bad timing. I had decided before Jake had ever met me at the tree to go through with this identity change with Kendra tomorrow.

  “That’s not it at all Kendra.” I pleaded. “I don’t like fighting with you. I think I actually failed a biology quiz today because I was so worried about you.”

  “There was no biology quiz today Remi. It’s only the second day of school.”

  “See. I didn’t even know there was no quiz. That’s how distracted I was.”

  Did the corner of her lips twitch? Did I almost get a smile?

  “Please forgive me. I need a bra that fits.” I whispered loudly, I’d gladly embarrass myself if it meant Kendra wouldn’t be mad at me. And sure enough, that got a smile.

  “Shh! People already think we’re lesbos.” Her smile widened. “Not that that’s a bad thing. I’m hot, you’re hot, we’re a natural couple.” Now she laughed. It faded quickly though and she reached out to grab me by the upper arms. Wouldn’t you know it, I flinched. What the hell? Though as usual, Kendra ignored it. “Please tell me this isn’t about Jake and that you want to do this for you. That, and I have really good ideas, like, all the time.”

  “I promise.”

  “Which part?” She asked, pouting.

  “That this isn’t about Jake. And that you have really good ideas, like, all the time.”

  She smiled again.

 
; “Okay then. We’re on. Now I’m dying too, if I’d had a biology quiz today, I would have failed as well. What is going on with Jake? Tell me everything!” She tugged me to the back of the room where the pottery wheels stood silent. Painting was on the schedule this week.

  I felt wonderful going home that day. Jake had offered me a ride home after his football practice today if I wanted to hang around –in front of his friends- though I declined. I had plans with Kendra and clothes that evening; but maybe if he asked tomorrow…then again, now that I looked at my pathetic trailer, I wasn’t so sure I wanted him driving me home.

  When had this place become such a dump?

  I turned my phone off and stuffed it under the worn cushion of the only chair on the porch and opened the door to the trailer. It was only six today, plenty of time to get dinner on the table. A hand grabbed my arm, squeezing until I was sure the bone inside would just go right ahead and pop. The door was kicked shut and I was tossed against the linoleum floor of the kitchen until I half skidded half tumbled to a stop thanks to the cabinets. “Ow.” I groaned when my hip made contact.

  “Where the hell have you been?” Dad –or Bob as I was beginning to refer to him as- seethed from his position only a few feet away. I knew like no other that he could close that distance in a heartbeat and have a fist planted anywhere there was available space before I could even scream.

  “School.” I said in a soft quiet voice. Loud noises angered the bear.

  “Till dark?” He kicked my legs. “Don’t lie to me you dumb shit. Where were you last night? Did you come home at all, or were you out screwin’ around with boys all night long?” Then he laughed like he had just told the best joke ever. “Oh, no, that can’t be it. Someone ugly as sin like you can’t get a boy.”

  I kept my eyes on the floor directly in front of me. Bears didn’t like eye contact either. Apparently they took it as a sign of aggression.