by C. A. Saari
“I saw you.” He said simply. Now I looked up at him, and my heart soared. The distance between the woods and the school was pretty vast. Anyone else would have assumed I’d been a boy at that distance because the only discernable things would have been my clothing. But he saw me. Which meant he DID feel the same pull I did. I was screaming and jumping with joy inside, but on the outside I kept pretty cool if I do say so myself.
“What did you see?”
“You.” He said simply again. I couldn’t help but to smile. And blush. I ducked my head into my locker. I stuffed my backpack inside for the first time in years, and suddenly felt a little bad, like I was betraying a really loyal friend. “Come on, I’ll walk to class with you. Later Kendra.” He said over my shoulder.
“You kids have fun.” She sang and bounded off into the throngs of people in the opposite direction.
Jake tried to take my hand once, but I didn’t let him. I wasn’t quite ready for that, even though he’d revealed to me that he wasn’t the shallow jock I’d assumed he was. He just chuckled at me and let me have my way.
I still chose the seat in the back of the room in the corner. Some habits died hard. Jake didn’t say anything about it, and aside from a few jaw drops as we made our way through the class, no one said anything, but I was pretty sure they wouldn’t while Jake was around. What would it be like during my next class when he wasn’t with me?
I found out soon enough. Yes, comments were made without Jake –or Kendra- there to protect me. Most of the guys talked about my chest in loud whisper voices that I wasn’t -yet was- supposed to hear. And one even slapped my butt as I walked by. Did I invite this? Were my new fitted clothes an invitation that I hadn’t been aware of? The girls in class were clearly not happy with the new attention I received and started calling me names –and no, I don’t mean names like She-Man. I would have welcomed that again- names that went along with the comments that Jake must have gotten into my pants and now I thought I was hot shit.
Aside from those vulgar names, I found in my other classes before lunch that sleeping with Jake was the new rumor about me and that I was very clearly a charity case. Sure, I was hot; but gross, I was she-man. Yep that finally came back out.
I wanted to cry. And by lunch I had pulled the pins out of my hair and had hid behind the protection of the curtain again. I skipped meeting Jake by my locker and ran out to my tree across the street. Damn if I didn’t almost get hit by a car as I crossed. The jerk honked at me and swore out the window, but I was too busy fighting tears to respond. I couldn’t around the lump in my throat anyway. I hit the tree and fell to my knees and wept.
Jake really had no trouble finding me.
“Remi!” He called, running across the street. He –gently of course- grabbed me by my upper arms and I cried out like a mad woman and pushed away from him. I rubbed my bruised arm, which was stupid since it hurt, but it felt like something I should be doing. He frowned and looked from my arm to my face. “Did someone hurt you?” I was surprised by the vehemence in his voice. It threw me off for a second.
“N-no.” I finally answered, and stopped rubbing my arm. It wasn’t making it feel any better. “I fell yesterday and hurt my arm.”
If there was ever a skeptical look, it was on his face now. But he let it go; chose to believe me. I think.
“What happened then? Why are you crying?” He didn’t reach out to touch me again, but he did crouch in front of me, balancing on the balls of his feet.
“You haven’t heard yet?” I asked, fighting the urge to wipe my nose with the back of my hand. No reason to gross him out on top of everything else.
“Heard what?”
“The rumor.” I wiped at my cheek with the back of my hand instead.
Now he raised an eyebrow –I always wished I could do that, raise just one eyebrow. Of course Jake could do it, what couldn’t he do?
“What, the rumor that you and I have slept together?” He asked.
I nodded. Why wasn’t he more upset?
“So, I repulse you so much that you actually have to run out here by yourself and cry about it?” He asked, there was a touch of humor to his voice.
“No!” I liked that smile that was playing across his lips. Even if it was making me feel slightly over dramatic right now. “No, that’s not it. You’re the one being ridiculed. I’m apparently still a disgusting man-girl, but I look all decked out today because you took some kind of pity on me and banged me silly.”
“Banged?” Now he grinned.
“Not my words.” I defended.
Jake stood, reached out and took the hand of my good arm and pulled me to my feet. Then pulled me into his arms. Oh, he smelled awesome. Like…clean linens and soap. No perfumes or colognes here, just all man. I let myself melt into the strong wall of his chest, let his arms wrap around me and I did feel safe there. Eventually he stirred and lifted his hands up to cup my face and tilt it up so I was looking at him. His thumb brushed over the scar on my cheekbone.
“Did you fall here too?” He asked quietly.
“Yes.” I said. “I’m kind of a klutz.”
“Mmmhmm.” He brushed his thumb over it several more times, his face looked thoughtful for a time and I wondered what he was thinking. He snapped out of it with a sigh and looked me in the eye, he raised both brows this time. “So. What are we going to do about this rumor? Let it ruin…” He searched for words.
“Our friendship?” I finished for him.
A chuckled rumbled in his throat.
“Yeah, that.”
I backed out of his arms, even though it was clearly not what he wanted, and that my friends, is a really awesome feeling.
“Maybe you should just stay away from me. I think that might be best for you.”
“No.” He didn’t even think about it. “No, that’s definitely not what will be best for me. And if you want me to be completely honest, I’m not all that upset about the rumor. I mean, yes, I do not like people calling you names, and trust me when I say I will take care of that, but the other part of the rumor…it’s not the end of the world, is it?”
What in the world was I supposed to say to that? I said the first thing that came to mind, because really, I couldn’t stop it even if I had tried.
“I’ve never done…that before! I’ve never even kissed a boy!” I clamped my hand over my mouth the moment that second admission snuck its way out. Shit. WHY would I say something like that? Flames heated my cheeks and I could not bring myself to even look at Jake.
“That’s because boys in this school are either really stupid, or you’re really smart.” Jake stepped back into my personal space. “I’m guessing both, but leaning more towards the latter.”
I threw him an appreciative smile. At least he didn’t laugh at me, or look at me like I had sprouted a second head.
“Just do me a favor.” He said pulling me back into his arms for another hug. I went willingly, very, very, willingly. “Don’t go kissing any boys any time soon, okay?”
I snorted out a single laugh.
“Yeah, like I’d even have the opportunity.”
“Oh you poor delusional girl. You have more opportunities than you think.”
I chose to ignore that comment, because A; I figured he was just saying it to make me feel better, and B; I wasn’t sure whether he meant himself or not, and I wasn’t about to ruin the moment by asking.
Jake walked me to calculus after spending the rest of the lunch hour under my tree with me. I’m sure my eyes were still a little puffy and red from my totally infant-like outburst, but Jake looked no less proud, or happy, to be walking into class with me, so I supposed I didn’t look too horribly bad. Heads still turned our way, I’m sure everyone else was having just as much trouble figuring out why Jake Wagner was hanging out with Remi Dexter as I was. But I felt smug. I couldn’t help it. Eat it up suckers! If you want to think Jake Wagner is sleeping with me, then who am I to deprive you sick puppies of that sweet little nugget? Good lo
rd, every time I even thought about Jake and me and the words sleeping together in the same sentence the butterflies in my stomach went nuts. I knew he was just working towards a friendship, but…what was the harm in daydreaming?
“So.” Jake whispered next to me as Mr. Hetz droned on. “I meant to tell you, I’m really glad you’re not walking through the woods anymore.”
Well, where did that come from? It definitely caught my attention, my head actually whipped in his direction.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I know you left here with Kendra the past couple days, and you got a ride in with her this morning. I’m glad, the woods can be…dangerous.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. Dangerous how? But I said instead: “How do you know I’ve been riding with Kendra?”
He shrugged.
“I see you.”
“So you keep saying.” I smiled, my eyes shifted to the band on the sleeve of his polo shirt. It was stretched so deliciously around that bicep…look away from the arm Remi. REMI! I looked back up to his face, but…wait. I looked back down to his arm and leaned in. Was that a tattoo peeking out of his sleeve? So I asked.
“Is that a tattoo?”
Jake looked down to his own arm, then back to me with that awesomely raised eyebrow. I was going to get him to teach me how to do that someday.
“Yes.” He said.
“Of what?” I glanced back at the black I saw peeking from his shirt sleeve.
“Maybe I’ll show you them sometime.”
Them?
“How many do you have?”
“A few.” Now he leaned forward, pencil in hand and flipped open my notebook. I looked down to see a white bandage at his wrist. How had I missed that?
“What happened?” I asked, I looked to his face, but his eyes were watching whatever it was he was scribbling in my notebook.
“Football.” He said simply. Then sat back in his chair. I looked to what he had written. A phone number. His?
“Yes mine.” He chuckled. I hadn’t said it out loud, but I guess the question was obvious on my face. “I want you to call me if you ever need a ride before or after school. I don’t want you to walk through the woods anymore.”
“What is with you and the woods?” I asked, fishing out my cell to store his number.
“Call my phone.” He said. So I did. It buzzed in his pocket and he stored my number as well. “I mean it Remi, call me if you need a ride. Anytime.”
I eyed him. He clearly wasn’t going to explain his phobia of the woods to me. Which was too bad, I was curious because I think I was developing a phobia as well. So I simply nodded to agree, I could tell that wasn’t good enough for him, but he let it drop.
Calculus flew by. Of course it did. The next two classes without Jake drug on. Of course they did. People were staring no less at me, but the mean comments had stopped. I still got eyeballed by the boys and the girls still glared, but the comments had ceased and for that I was grateful. Jake worked fast. He’d said he’d take care of it and he obviously had. The guy who’d pulled out my hair the day before chose the seat next to me today and smiled stupidly at me.
“Hey. I’m Ben.”
I just looked at him, and offered up no introduction for myself.
“Um, so hey, I’m sorry about what a jerk I was yesterday.”
“Sure you are.” I said blandly. “Today.” Now that I’m looking pretty good. Yesterday not so much.
“Yeah. So look, Uh, I heard you’re dating Jake-”
“I’m not dating Jake. We’re just friends.” I would love for people to have believed I was dating the most awesome guy at school, but I couldn’t do that to Jake. His name attached to mine would only ruin him and he deserved so much better.
“Oh.” Ben frowned. “I thought-”
“Well, stop thinking. It’s obviously not doing you much good.”
His frowned deepened. He knew I’d just insulted him, but he wasn’t sure where to go with it.
He cleared his throat. “Okay, so if you’re free then…you wanna go get a bite to eat sometime?”
“I love eating.” I replied. His eyes brightened.
“Really? Great! We could go this weekend-”
“Wait, you meant get a bite to eat with you?” I clearly knew that’s what he’d meant when he asked, but having an opportunity to throw a bit of humiliation back in his face was too good to pass up.
“Well, yeah.”
“Oh. I’m sorry. I’d rather starve.”
There were a few snickers around us and Ben’s face turned a nice shade of pink. Kendra would like this color. Oh, how incredibly fantastic was this very moment? It was the best moment, I was going to name my first child after this very moment. I would pay this moment to impregnate me with its baby. It was just too good.
I walked to my locker after class feeling pretty pleased with myself. Ben had made a hasty exit and was nowhere to be seen. But I was seen, by everyone in the halls. I even received a couple whistles. What had Jake said? This was a complete one-eighty from this morning. No one was throwing elbows or shoulders into me.
Then the moment was shattered. No, no one threw an elbow or shoulder, but one guy very obviously stepped in front of me on purpose and rubbed his arm very deliberately and very slowly across my chest. It was so much more violating that the butt slap I had received this morning.
I could feel my face burning and I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. I was so embarrassed I couldn’t speak.
I didn’t have to though. The violator was shoved so hard against the lockers to my left that I swear I heard his teeth rattle, his head surely left a dent in the metal door. Jake pinned him there with his forearm against his throat. Everyone around us watched wide eyed as the school good guy nearly crushed another guy’s trachea.
“Touch her again, I dare you.” Jake said through gritted teeth.
I stood back and didn’t even try to stop him. Not because I was just stunned, but I’d never had a man stand up for me before. I’m not going to lie, I liked it. Jake released the other guy, who then sagged and sucked in breath like a man deprived too long.
“Apologize.” Jake said, his voice calmer.
The other guy stood up again, rubbed at his throat.
“Sorry man.” He croaked.
Jake smacked him upside the back of the head.
“Not to me dumbass. To her.” He nodded his head in my direction. The guy didn’t have the nerve to look annoyed, he took a hasty step forward, apologized and made for a quick getaway, but Jake caught him by the back of the neck. He looked to me.
“Was that acceptable?” Jake asked me. I simply nodded, still stunned. Jake released the guy’s neck and he beat feet so fast he was a blur. “Asshole.” Jake muttered watching the retreating back.
“Wow.” I whispered. Jake looked down at me, raised that awesome eyebrow.
“What?”
“I…wow.” I had no idea what to say.
Jake chuckled and steered me towards the hall where my locker was located.
“Did you have any more trouble in any other class?” He asked as I stowed my books. I always felt naked in a way walking to class without carrying supplies, but Art supplied its own supplies.
“No. Actually, a guy asked me out. What did you say to people?”
“Someone asked you out?” Jake asked, he kept his voice casual, but I could tell he didn’t like it. “Who?”
“I don’t know. Some idiot named Ben. I told him no of course. That was actually pretty fun.”
Now Jake laughed.
“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. So, I have practice after school, can you wait for me, or will you promise to get a ride from Kendra?”
“Oh. Um, I start choir practice today, tryouts actually, and they usually run long, so I’ll probably miss her.”
“Alright, then I’ll meet you at the choir room when I’m done.”
He still hadn’t explained why he didn’t want me going throu
gh the woods, but red eyes popped into my head and I was more than happy to accept his offer.
“Okay. I’ll see you then.” I backed away, knowing we had to go in separate directions. He stood where he was and watched me until I looked back just once before I rounded the corner. He winked.
It made me smile.
4
First day of choir practice was spent going over the schedule. Practice three days a week, though Ms. Nelson insisted we practice at home as well. Yeah, like that’d happen in my particular home. Then the last half of practice was spent listening to the newcomers this season try out for the solo position. I thought it was sweet that any of them thought they had a shot. Ms. Nelson must have too, because she was so apologetically complimentary after each singer.
She saved me for last. I took a spot before the class and waited for Ms. Nelson to hit play on her CD player, lovely music filled the room and soon I was singing a goose bump producing rendition of Ave Maria. Everyone listened in absolute silence. The solo was mine, and no little freshmen punk better ever think they had the pipes to take it from me. When I finished everyone still sat in silence, except for Ms. Nelson, she clapped. I noticed more than one set of eyes kept darting to the door behind me so I turned. Jake stood there, leaning against the door jam, his arms crossed over his chest, looking all mouthwatering good. He was watching me with as much awe as everyone else had.
I turned back and looked expectantly at Ms. Nelson. She smiled affectionately and nodded.
“Yes, yes. Great first day everyone. I will have the spot postings on the door tomorrow and will see everyone for practice on Friday.”
I stepped down from the platform that we were required to sing on for tryouts and went to Jake at the door. I picked my backpack up off the floor, but Jake took it from me and swung it up over his own shoulder. Why did that little gesture feel so big to me? We walked in silence for a time before Jake finally spoke.
“That was one of the most impressive things I think I’ve ever seen. Heard.” He said. “I mean, I’ve heard you sing at school functions before, but never like that.”