I draped my arm over his torso as I began drifting into a quiet slumber. “I mean, look at you…” I mumbled. “You’re…everything.”
16
Billie
A few hours later, I padded out of the bedroom in only my boxers careful not to wake Dylan and reached for my phone on the coffee table.
I sat down on the couch and noticed a text from Callum telling me to take the day. That he and Dean would go to town to check on Sweets. It sounded liked a perfect plan, at least for the morning, because I still needed to gather this tornado of emotions inside of me.
After I responded to Callum, thanking him, I steadied my breath and dialed Leo.
“Everything okay?” he asked the second he picked up.
I inhaled through my nose. “It will be.”
“You’re with Dylan?”
I hesitated, my pulse quickening. “I am.”
“You’re in love with him.”
Damn, he already knew. But how could he not after I asked for Dylan above anybody else? “I…I’m sorry.”
“No need to be,” he replied. “I actually think it’s really great. It’s the way it should be.”
I leaned back and stared at the celling, relief and anxiety coursing through me. “Yeah, I just don’t know if he—”
“He needs you as much as you need him,” he said with a smile in his voice, as if he already had it all figured out. “It’ll all be okay, you’ll see.”
I swiped at the tear rolling down my cheek with a shaky hand.
“Thanks, Leo. For yesterday and a bunch of other things over these past few—”
“No need to thank me. Just live your life…and be happy.”
It was the same sentiment from the letter he’d written four years back and now it all came full circle. As it turns out, I was living my life. I was pretty happy. I just hadn’t realized it.
There was a long pause as if a rope were dangling between us that needed to be severed. And then it finally was. “Goodbye, Leo,” I said, in a strangled whisper.
“Take care, Billie.”
I hit the button to end the call and stared hard at my phone. It was the sweetest kind of goodbye. One filled with equal parts hope and melancholy.
Right then Dylan padded out of the bedroom in a pair of sweats and sank down beside me on the couch. He propped his feet on the table and mumbled something about making coffee.
“Was that Callum?” he asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
“Leo.” I felt him stiffen beside me.
I sighed and propped my feet next to his. “I’ve said some tough goodbyes the past twenty-four hours.”
His body melted further into the cushions as his gaze landed squarely on mine.
“I know.” He patted my knee, and kept his warm fingers there. “You don’t have to say goodbye to me.”
I shut my eyes as profound relief coursed through all of my limbs. “No?” I mumbled.
“For the record, I am afraid,” he said and I gasped, my lids springing open. “Afraid of losing you. Was too chicken to open my eyes last night for fear it all might’ve been a cruel fucking dream.”
I remained silent because I didn’t want to miss one single thing he had to say. Instead, I placed my hand on top of his and interlaced our fingers.
“Afraid that I probably feel way too much for my best friend.”
My heart rose to my throat. “Impossible.”
“You pain in the ass,” he said with a chuckle and then yanked on my hand so that I could nuzzle against his chest. His lips resting at my temple made me sigh.
He wrapped his strong arms around me and pulled me further into his sleepy warmth.
“I…need to go home and face it,” I muttered into his neck. “Face Bullseye being gone.”
He nodded. “Want me to—”
“No, not this time.” I pulled back to gaze at him. “I need to do it on my own. Think I’ve been using him as a crutch—a lot of things in fact—and even he probably knew it.”
“Nah, he just knew you were his human.” His fingers brushed beneath my chin. “The one person he’d stick around for through anything. You were so good to him.”
When he stared hard into my eyes it was as if he were talking about himself and not my faithful dog.
I felt tears pricking my eyes again. “Will you help me bury him?”
“Absolutely.”
I swiped at my face with my forearm and considered my years of pining over Leo, as well as some grudges I’d been holding against important people in my life who mattered so much and only meant well. “Guess it’s time to let go of childish notions.”
“And time for me to get my ass moving. Grab hold of my dreams,” he murmured.
I nearly sprang off the couch. “Holy shit, your audition.”
He waved me off. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Of course it is,” I said, swatting him playfully. “You have to go. It’s a start.”
A small smile lined his lips. “A start to what?”
“Going after what you want in life.”
He gathered my face in his hands. “I want you, does that count?”
“It counts very much,” I whispered against his lips. “Does that mean you also want—”
“Everything?” He grinned before pecking my lips. “Of course. I love you, Billie. I have for a long time.”
I blinked, realization dawning on me. I grabbed hold of his jaw and kissed him breathless. Morning breath be damned.
“Can you do me a favor?” I asked nuzzling his ear.
“Anything.”
“Can you start calling me Will—like, all the time?”
“I knew you got a boner for that.”
I smacked him hard and he tackled me to the couch. Straddling me, he said, “First you’re going to tell me you love me again. I’ll need to hear it every day, by the way.”
He lightly ticked my sides and I laughed. “I love you, you fucker. Now get the hell off of me.”
“Not until we get some other things straight.”
I grew motionless and looked him in the eye. I didn’t mind feeling his weight on top of me and he knew it too. Still, I folded my arms in protest. “Go on.”
“I’m going to the audition and you’re going to be with your family and probably say some more goodbyes.”
My eyes filled with unshed tears and he swiped at the imaginary wetness on my cheeks.
“And then maybe later,” he continued, softening his voice, “we can look at the calendar and plan our road trip.”
My eyes grew wide and I nearly squealed. “Seriously?”
“Yeah,” he said and scooted back on the couch. “Now get your ass moving. We’ve got some living to do.”
17
Dylan
“I’m proud of you, son.” Mr. Montgomery braced Billie’s shoulder and I noticed how he had relaxed into his touch. “Proud of you both.”
My heart stuttered a little in my chest as Dean nudged me and winked.
The entire Montgomery family was standing on top of Pines Ledge, their gazes beneath the evergreen tree where we’d buried Bullseye’s ashes—looking over the Shady Pines property, like a protector of the land.
Callum had constructed a small wooden marker, with his name burnished into it, along with his birth and death years, and then sealed it with some sort of special coating so it wouldn’t rot out here in the elements.
“Thank you, sir,” I sputtered barely able to get any coherent words out. Billie’s father had always been a strong, silent and somewhat imposing figure in this family and though I knew I was always welcome, he’d only spoken to me directly on a few occasions. Once was early on when he’d called my dad a “good for nothing” and other choice words before he grumbled about me getting something decent to eat in the kitchen with Grammy.
It’d been a small feat for Grammy to make it up the incline to the Pines Ledge lookout point this warm afternoon, but she was a trooper. As she took Braden’s arm
and clutched her walking stick, she said, “We’ll see you back at the house. Dinner will be ready soon. Will’s favorite.”
When I saw the gleam in her eye, I grinned. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
She’d told Billie and me on numerous occasions the past few days how thrilled she was that we’d found our way to each other. The rest of the family appeared to share the sentiment, which eased my mind. It was one thing to be Billie’s best friend, quite another to make the leap to boyfriend status.
After Cassie kissed Billie’s cheek, Braden thumped his back, and Callum gave him a bear hug, the family walked down the path in unison, knowing Billie needed another quiet minute to officially say goodbye.
As I watched them hike down the rocky path, it was strange not to see Bullseye beside them as a living and breathing fixture after all these years, but he’d had a good life with this wonderful family.
Billie and I settled against a large rock, and as I kissed his temple, he swiped away a leftover tear. I had been nervous about him all week, wondering if he was getting enough sleep and if he’d relapse as a result. But Grammy had invited me to stay a few nights in the “guest room” in order to help him through his grief.
A couple days back during one of his lowest moments, I had asked if he wanted to bring home a new puppy, but he refused. “Besides, we’ve got plans,” he’d said, with a hopeful glint in his watery smile.
I had found out just yesterday that I’d made the cast of Hairspray and rehearsals were to begin in a couple weeks’ time, which meant between Sweets and the production, I’d be plenty busy. But I’d never felt so settled and happy in my life. I’d decided to finish out the month at STUDS if only to save more money for those plans Billie was referring to. But kissing for more tips would be strictly off-limits. Besides, I didn’t want anybody else’s mouth or hands. Billie was it for me.
“Got a message from Sebastian,” I said, removing my phone from my pocket and scrolling through the thread. I’d been texting quite a bit lately with him and Tate. I felt strangely connected to them for some reason. “He said they’d love to have us visit this fall.”
We’d decided to drive east on our road trip this time around and New York City was going to be one of our stops.
“Awesome,” Billie replied, and then stared down at the grave, maybe wondering how it would feel without Bullseye. There had been a lot of changes in his life recently and he’d need time to process it all. Same as me.
The shade felt nice as we sat silently for several minutes staring off into the distance. Billie grinned at the faint gong of the dinner bell that had been in the family for over a hundred years. Grammy was letting the Montgomerys know that they needed to get their butts to the supper table. You didn’t mess with Grammy.
I walked over to Bullseye’s grave and squatted down, patting the wooden marker.
“I’ll take good care of him, Bullseye. I promise.”
I heard a strangled whimper from over my shoulder as Billie’s eyes filled with unshed tears and he knelt down beside me. “You always have, Dylan. I love you so damn much.”
My heart vaulted to my throat as I pulled him into my arms and kissed his neck and ear and forehead. “I love you, too. Always have. Always will.”
After we kissed tenderly for another long moment, Billie stood up, brushed off his knees and held out his hand. “You ready?”
I nodded and interlaced our fingers as he pulled me up. “I better be or Grammy’s going to have something to say about it.”
Billie’s laugh echoed through the pine trees and the sound was so pure and warm that it reached that place deep inside me reserved only for him.
“Let’s go home,” Billie said, tugging at my arm.
I felt a winging in my chest as my heart flapped and fluttered at his words. “Sounds perfect.”
The idea of a warm, safe and familiar place to finally call my own never felt more real—or more right.
THANK YOU for reading THE SWEETEST GOODBYE!
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Read on to view a short excerpt from THE DEEPEST BLUE, book two in the Roadmap to Your Heart series.
About the Author
Once upon a time, Christina Lee lived in New York City and was a wardrobe stylist. She spent her days getting in cabs, shopping for photo shoots, eating amazing food, and drinking coffee at her favorite hangouts.
Now she lives in the Midwest with her husband and son—her two favorite guys. She’s been a clinical social worker and a special education teacher. But it wasn't until she wrote a weekly column for the local newspaper that she realized she could turn the fairytales inside her head into the reality of writing fiction.
She’s addicted to lip balm and salted caramel everything. She believes in true zpus love and kissing, so writing romance novels has become a dream job.
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An Excerpt from The Deepest Blue
Dean
I lugged my bike through the door and propped it against the wall. Sliding my messenger bag over my sore shoulder, I sank down on the couch, attempting to take a load off.
Spring semester had finally kicked my ass. I was working tons of hours at one of the labs in the biology department in addition to coping with my regular coursework for my master’s program. But I only needed one more intensive summer class to graduate early.
I rummaged around in my bag for my laptop, but when I found it I didn’t bother to turn it on. I was too beat to work on any more homework tonight.
A couple minutes later, my roommate, Cassie, hustled through the door. She was juggling an armload of textbooks and I sprang up to help.
“He keep you after class again?” I smirked as I placed her books on the table that we used as much for storage as for eating. Though lately, between both our schedules, there wasn’t even enough time for us to share a meal.
“Nope.” She strode to the refrigerator to retrieve a cold drink. “I asked if he needed help.”
Cassie was a professor’s assistant and refused to admit her crush on the handsome and neurotic Dr. Rebol. She’d graduate early as well, but not until winter break.
I braced my hands on her shoulders to give her a quick massage. She rolled her neck as my fingers worked her tense muscles. “The kind of help that involves you being down on your knees?”
She laughed, elbowing me lightly in the ribs. “That’s your fantasy, not mine.”
“Probably right.” I sighed and settled back on the couch.
Maybe I needed to get laid. It’d been a few weeks. But I didn’t have the energy to change out of my khakis and button-down to head to the club tonight.
“Let’s open a bottle of white.” Cassie set her water container on the table and headed to her room to change.
This had become our routine on the nights we were both home. Otherwise, we’d end up on opposite ends of our two-bed and two-bath apartment. We’d been living in this refurbished building in Cameron Village for more than a year, while we finished up at NC State. She wanted to teach business to undergrads and I was eager to be more than a research assistant.
On some base level, I also hoped to earn my father’s approval. Maybe then he’d actually give a damn. He would’ve preferred for me to follow in his footsteps. I could’ve had a marketing job waiting for me upon graduation. Though he never admitted it openly, he questioned whether I could make it in a field that relied heavily on grants and donations, all in the name of science and improving the earth.
“Th
at’s better.” Cassie had thrown on her favorite pastel pajamas with bold red hearts, the only time she showcased her love of bright and puffy designs. Having grown up with three brothers on a game preserve in Florida, she was definitely a tough cookie, but I liked when her softer side showed.
I handed her a glass of chardonnay and we got comfortable on the cushions. We’d become good friends these past few months, having met last year through a roommate posting board in student services. Both transplants from our hometowns, our families were conservative in different ways.
Her brothers were hunky country types who rode around on ATVs—I’d seen photos and some of the images still got my pulse pumping. My family was just plain stuffy in comparison with their dinner parties and charity events. Except for my half-brother Felix, who I connected with when I’d gotten my undergraduate degree.
We shared the same mother but that was about all we had in common. He was part of the Disciples of the Road motorcycle club and I’d admit to being nervous upon meeting him for the first time. But he was only rough around the edges, with a soft center, and we continued to remain in regular contact.
“I have a favor to ask,” Cassie said, biting her lip.
When she got that look in her eye it meant something important. “Lay it on me.”
She heaved one of the couch’s throw pillows onto her lap. “We’ve got summer break coming up.”
“Right.” I took a hearty sip of my wine. I had a feeling I was going to need it.
“Have you decided if you’re going home in June?” Her eyes darted to the wall calendar we kept in the kitchen to keep track of our overlapping schedules.
“My parents won’t be around. They’re taking some cruise,” I said. “Besides, I’ve got to put in lab hours and prep for my final class in July.”
The Sweetest Goodbye (Roadmap to Your Heart, Book 3.5) Page 9